Dream Me Off My Feet (Sex, Love, And Rock & Roll)

by Kisner, Stevie

  Kori cocked her head a bit and shifted her gaze to the floor. “Yeah,” she said dully, “you just do whatever you want.”

  Why do I have the feeling that I just apologized for the wrong thing? JT shrugged away from his doorjamb and took a step toward her. “I’ll ring him tonight if that’ll make you feel better.”

  Kori managed to keep her voice level and said, “Do whatever.”

  He walked closer and reached out to her. She shifted her balance and rolled her shoulder away from his hand. He let his arm fall. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”

  She snorted and finally looked up at him. He saw her eyes had gone indigo dark and were flickering wildfire. “No,” she snapped.

  Already irritable from the incident with Tina, JT felt his temper flare. “I’m too tired for fishing, Kori. Would you like to elaborate or should I just go away?”

  Kori let her gaze fall deliberately to his undone jeans. “You could at least zip yourself up before asking me questions.”

  He tried a disarming grin, hoping to jolly her out of whatever mood she’d sunk into. “It’s nothing you haven’t seen before, love.”

  “No, and apparently I’m not the only woman in this hotel tonight who’s seen it before, either. Look,” she said through a grinding jaw, “I know that you’ve had a whole lifetime of women before I showed up in the flesh, but do you have to rub my face in it and then act like it’s nothing out of the ordinary?”

  Where did that come from? Surely she knows what really happened, she’s camping out in my head for chrissake. “Finding a naked woman in my bed is a bit out of the ordinary, love, but unfortunately the whole groupie thing isn’t. It’s one of those wonderful consequences of fame that I that have to deal with.”

  The tight cork on Kori’s anger blew. “Deal with? I’ve heard sex called lots of things before, but that’s a new one to me, Joseph Blackwood!” she bellowed, heedless of who might hear. “I trusted you!”

  JT kept his eyes locked on hers, flabbergasted. “What in the hell are you talking about?” he managed at last.

  Her eyes narrowed to furious slits. “Just look at yourself, JT. You’re scarcely dressed and looking like a complete rakehell. That… that… slut didn’t look much better, I might add. You could have at least bothered to put your clothes on before seeing her off. Christ, JT!” Tears stood in the corners of her eyes, although whether of rage, shame or hurt he didn’t know.

  Her suspicious anger sparked JT’s own temper and he grabbed her wrist a little too tightly to move her away from her door. She had no choice but to stumble after him as he pulled her into his room. His grip loosened a bit when he reached out to close the door and Kori wrenched her arm free.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” she ground out .

  “Taking this out of the hallway and out of earshot of people whose business it isn’t.” He dragged a hand through his hair to get it out of his eyes. “What in the hell is this, anyway? You know nothing happened with her.”

  Kori blinked away the tears and rubbed her red wrist. “No, I don’t. I don’t know anything at all, JT.”

  Before he could ask what she meant, she’d moved to the door and opened it again. “All I know is that I trusted you and you slaughtered it.” The door slammed behind her as she left.

  It took JT only a few seconds to start after her, but it was time enough for Kori to storm into her room and close the door. He heard the lock snick into place when he was still several paces away.

  He muttered a terse expletive then grumbled to the empty hallway, “And I’m right back where it seems I always wind up, but this time I really didn’t do anything.”

  JT heard the elevator softly chime and he braced himself for a reappearance of the groupie from hell. He no longer cared if he disturbed anyone else on the floor. JT turned to face the end of the hall and sucked in a lungful of air, ready to bellow.

  Then blew it all out again when the only blond hair he saw was on Rafe’s head.

  “Hey, you alright, JT? You look ready to piss railway nails.”

  JT’s brows knit. “What in the hell does that mean, Rafe?”

  “Just that you seem to be three notches above peeved and heading for livid. What’s got your knickers all twisted, anyway? Lighten up, it’s New Year’s Eve. You ought to be celebrating.”

  “Sorry to disappoint but I’ve not much to celebrate at the moment.” JT turned back toward his room.

  Rafe caught up as JT stepped inside. He followed him in and closed the door.

  “Rafe, leave me be. I just want to go to bed.”

  Rafe looked him over closely, taking in the disheveled hair and unfastened jeans. “Looks like you’ve been there already. What happened, she get a case of the guilts and leave you hanging?”

  “Shut up, Rafe. You have no idea what a complete shit tonight has been.”

  Rafe moved the black carryon from the recliner and flopped down onto the seat. “So fill me in, then.”

  “I’d really rather not. I just want to sleep it all away and pretend that tonight never happened.”

  “Well, that gives me a clue, anyway. She didn’t tell you it was definitively over.” Rafe crossed one ankle over his knee and plucked at his shoelace.

  JT crossed his arms and leaned back slightly. “Do tell, oh sage bass player, just how in the bleedin’ hell you came to that conclusion?”

  Rafe grinned. “Because if Kori had told you to go jump off the roof, you’d be at least halfway to snockered right now. You always get drunk when you have a breakup, even when you’re the one who did the breaking. When it’s just a tiff, you want to go hide in bed and hope it all blows over. Nope, she’s still got you wrapped around her little finger, JT.”

  JT raised a brow. “And what makes you think it had anything to do with Kori?”

  “Very few things can truly get you fired up. It has to be something, or someone, who’s gotten under your skin before you look as angry as you did out in that hallway. She’s the only person here other than the band who can make you have that look on your face, and I’m the first one back upstairs. Plus I saw you glare at her door twice before we came in here. Hoping she might come back out?”

  “Somehow I don’t see that happening tonight.” JT picked up the carryon from the floor and dropped it into the other sitting room chair, then sat down on the ottoman in front of it. He looked down at his hands, clasped loosely between his knees, before continuing. “Rafe, have you ever known me to cheat?”

  Rafe’s eyebrows shot up into his shaggy bangs. “Do you mean cheat on a woman you’re marking time with? Yeah, plenty. But not when you really care about her, no. And you are so completely gone over Kori that she’s safe from that particular problem.” He cocked his head and peered at JT through the long fringes of hair hanging over his forehead. “Why? Is that what this is all about, she thought you were cheating?”

  JT sighed and looked up. “I’m not sure what she’s thinking, to be quite honest. She’d know if I was fooling around, which I would never do to her anyway. She’s constantly in my head nowadays. I can feel her just slouching about in there.”

  Rafe quirked a brow but didn’t say anything. JT went on, trying to explain. “There’s this feeling I get when she’s simply nearby, and then this other sensation, almost like a tickle and sort of a crowded feeling in my head, when she’s reached into my thoughts.” JT looked over Rafe’s head toward the closed door of his suite and let his focus go fuzzy.

  “JT?” Rafe prompted.

  “Shhh. Hang on for a second.” JT cocked his head and squinted slightly, his eyes still lost in staring at the air.

  “Nope. Nothing,” he mumbled. JT blinked slowly several times and shook his head, then looked back to Rafe. “But that’s not surprising. She was very upset.”

  “But I thought it was a constant thing. You can still turn it on and off when you want to?”

  “Kori can. Although she does seem to shut me out whenever she’s upset, I don’t know that it’s on purpose. I�
��m still getting a grasp on it all, but it’s more hit than miss for me now.”

  “That still doesn’t explain much. What did happen between the two of you tonight?”

  JT ignored Rafe’s question, hoping his current train of thought might answer one or two questions of his own. “Maybe she was already in a state from something else and I was the closest target to blow up on.” JT exhaled deeply and let his shoulders sag. “I just don’t really know, Rafe. But I can’t think about it anymore tonight. I end up going ‘round in a circle.”

  Rafe still looked perplexed. “You’ve lost me.”

  JT rubbed his eyes one-handed then dragged his fingers up into his hairline. “Tina somehow got in here and was waiting in my bed, all but undressed, when I got back to my room. I booted her out in short order, and Kori was coming down the hall, taking it all in, while I was making sure she got on the elevator.”

  Rafe’s eyes rounded. “Tina the Man-Eater? Oh, shit, I’ll bet that wasn’t a pretty sight, the two of them facing off.” He blew up into his bangs to clear them from his face.

  “They didn’t. Not really. Tina made some comment about how I’d never be able to keep it in my pants and that she ought to know and then she left. Kori didn’t blow up for a bit, instead she seemed kind of aloof and odd, but when she finally let go… she told me she trusted me and that I’d slaughtered it.”

  “Slaughtered?”

  “Her exact word. Then she stomped out, I followed too late, and then you found me in the hall.” JT looked plaintively at his friend. “And I didn’t even do anything with Tina, Rafe.”

  “Take a look at yourself and you can see why she’d be upset, JT. You’re hardly dressed and you look like you just had a long roll in the sack.”

  “I had climbed into bed already and that’s when I found Tina. I honestly never even thought of defending myself or of explaining what she was seeing. She always knows what I’m up to, so why this all of a sudden?” JT let out a heavy sigh.

  “I’m sure things’ll be better tomorrow when her temper has cooled.” Rafe tried to sound reassuring.

  JT gave a rueful chuckle. “Oh, I don’t know about that. Tomorrow might be too soon. You don’t know her temper like I do.” No, tomorrow will be better. It has to be, ‘cause it certainly can’t get any worse.

  JT yawned and rubbed his eyes again. “Ugh, Rafe. This has me completely done in. I have got to just let it go and try to sleep and hope tomorrow sees it all blown over.” Softer, he added, “And that this whole trust issue blows right by, too. I’ve screwed up enough relationships, and I’m not gonna mess up this one.”

  More than an hour after Rafe bade him goodnight, JT lay in bed wide-eyed, the churning thoughts and emotions unwilling to let him go. He’d tried several reaches toward Kori and came up blank every time, and it seemed she was keeping her distance from his head, as well. Shut out and empty. I never really thought I’d be lonely within my own mind, but without that familiar warm brush of her, that’s how it feels.

  She has got to know that nothing happened. How could she not? She’s always here, puttering around my thoughts. Well, except for right now.

  Back when we first started, before we knew who the other was, or had been all along or… damn! What words can I use for something like this? Are there rules of grammar about sharing an unknowing psychic history that you later find out about?

  You’re stalling, Blackwood. Confusing even yourself. And starting that ‘round and ‘round thing again.

  JT sighed in the darkness and tried to redirect his thoughts into something more linear, hoping he might eventually arrive at an answer. Or bore himself to pieces and get his mind to finally shut down and let him sleep.

  Okay. Let’s try this again, shall we? Back when all we knew of each other was what any normal couple might be able to ascertain, trust was certainly a great issue for her. She even tried to leave once because of it, saying she couldn’t deal with my being famous and all the baggage that comes along with it. I thought she’d gotten over that. Maybe she never did, or maybe she thought she had it handled until the ugly reality snuck into my hotel room. She’d know nothing went on, but who wants to see something like that? Besides, I could never lie to her. I wouldn’t want to, but even if, for some reason, I tried to, she’d know.

  I think there’s more to it than the jealousy thing. His lips quirked with a fleeting smile at the thought. Jealous. I honestly never thought I’d see that from her. But it does feel sort of satisfying in a twisted, self-centered way.

  It’s more likely that she was already in a state as she came down the hall. She knew when I arrived at the hotel, I felt her feel it, if that makes any sense. It’s entirely possible that she lingered in my head for a while and picked up the conversation Mark and I had. She might have been lurking around in Mark’s thoughts then, too. She could even know about the letter.

  Can she do that with him? Connect the way we do? I have no idea, really. She’s never said so.

  But still, that has to be it, ‘cause I certainly didn’t do anything to piss her off. Maybe she’s feeling hurt or even resentful, like Mark’s passing her off to me like she’s some sort of chattel. As for the hallway incident, it shouldn’t matter how the whole thing with Tina appeared because she knows the truth. I just wish I knew what was going on in that head of hers right now.

  ****

  Kori very nearly slammed the door upon entering her own room, swinging it hard and fast and only worrying at the last moment how it would appear to Mark. She still had her hand on the knob and managed to stop the door inches from the latch hitting home. She eased it shut then paused, skimming her thumb over the lock button. With a flaming glare at the back of the door, she pressed it into place. She was already worried about how to explain to her husband what she’d roared at JT from right outside their door and didn’t need JT stomping in after her. I can’t deal with this on top of everything else. For the sake of my sanity, we’re going to have to leave. Kori dropped her forehead to the door and closed her eyes, driving back the threatening tears.

  Mark heard Kori come into the little suite and, moving as quickly as his aching joints allowed, tossed aside the extra pillow and scooted down in the bed. Grinding his teeth to keep a grimace from his face, he closed his eyes and hoped he presented a convincing picture of being soundly asleep. He’d heard her yelling and knew the accusations were unfounded since JT had only been gone for ten minutes. He didn’t want to ask, didn’t want her to explain. It was unbearably hard to confront JT with the truth, but the pain of facing his wife with it was insurmountable. If she had anything she wanted to tell him, he would listen, but he wasn’t going to initiate the conversation.

  He lay waiting in the silence, hoping she was using these moments to compose herself. I don’t know how to convey to her that she’s wrong without revealing that I heard her yelling out there in the hall, but I’ll find a way. She belongs with him more than she ever has with me. Hell, she’s belonged to him for most of her life, and even my love for her could never make a dent in that. I’ll be gone so very soon now, leaving her alone and needing someone to grieve on, and that person can only be JT. As much as it tears me apart to know that, all along, her heart’s been mine but her soul’s been his, her happiness means the very world to me and I know he’d never hurt her. I could die with my own soul at peace then. He sighed and settled deeper into the covers.

  Though the door was firesafe steel, it was hollow and the sounds from the hallway were muffled but perfectly understandable. Kori heard JT’s muttered curse and was thankful she’d closed the door before he reached it. She heard what followed and suddenly felt very stupid and ashamed. JT would have no reason to lie when he was talking to himself. And I doubted him. What does that say about me? I’m the one who has the problem here, that’s what. I don’t trust, and I don’t think that I ever truly have. I sneak into people and verify instead. He deserves better than that. But can I give it?

  She rolled her head against the door a
nd answered herself in a whisper. “I just don’t know.” Until I can, and unconditionally, I have to leave him. Being nearby would make it all too easy to keep doing what I’ve been doing. She turned from the door and took a deep, shuddering breath then straightened her shoulders and walked toward the back room of the little suite where her husband lay waiting.

  Mark heard the hushed sound of Kori’s feet as she crossed the carpet and stopped near the side of the bed. “Babe?” she said softly.

  He pretended to startle awake and opened his eyes halfway. His vision was blurry and he blinked slowly to bring her into focus. “You’re home,” he murmured with a sleepy smile.

  “No, not home, but I’m here. Home is really where I’d like to be, though.” Kori noticed the chair near the side of the bed and casually wondered how it came to be there. She perched on the edge of it and began pulling off her socks, making a face at the dark gray foot-shapes that had bloomed on the bottoms.

  She stood again and began to undress for bed. Mark’s eyes raked over her in wistful desire, pausing to take in the too-prominent ribs and collarbone he’d been doing his best to ignore for the last several weeks. It’s taking its toll on her, too. I am so damn sorry to put you through this. He patted the empty section of the bed on his right. “Sit by me for a while?”

  Kori looked up from emptying the pockets of her unzipped jeans. Normally when they sat and talked during the last month or so, she made do with a chair or sat cross-legged at the end of the bed. The changing pressure of the shifting mattress and the snugger pull of her weight on the sheets was becoming more and more painful on Mark’s bloated body. “If you’re up to it, sure. I love to be close to you.”

  She stripped to her underwear and walked to the far side of the bed. Mark surprised her again by pulling back the blankets (with only a small grunt of pain) and said, “Snuggle with me?”

  She stopped with only one knee on the mattress. “Oh, honey, are you sure? I mean, of course I want to, but I don’t want you to hurt for me.”