“But what about the bodies, Aneesah?” He asks, eyes popping open, referring to the people he has killed. I think about it because this is something I do not have an answer for.
“We got monsters, daddy. The monsters came out and the prince told us to get into the castle. The castle was too crowded sooooo, somebody had to goooo,” I laugh, imitating the Kevin Hart skit.
“That’s not how the skit goes, silly girl,” he laughs, pulling me into his arms. “You still don’t need me,” he says softly, staring into my eyes.
“I need you to love me, Nyce. That’s all I ever wanted from you. That is all I am ever going to ask from you.”
“I do love you. I’m always going to love you. You’re my Diamond,” he whispers in my ear.
“Real love doesn’t run away from home, Nyce.”
He cocks his head and smiles.
“I’m here now and I’m not running. I love everything about you. I love the dimple in your right cheek,” he says kissing it. “I love how you bite down on your bottom lip when you’re in deep thought or when I’m hitting it right. I love the half-moon on your ass and even though it’s a burn; it’s still sexy as fuck to me. I love your goofy ass laugh and smile and how you make me feel like a kid at heart. I love how when you sleep, you tuck your thumb in between your middle and ring finger. I love your tough attitude even though you are a marshmallow at heart. I definitely love how you can make a niggah cum, over and over again,” he says, slowly opening up my legs and kissing on my neck.
“I love when you sing and dance for me. Makes a niggah feel all special and shit but what I love the most about you,” he whispers in my ear before kissing my neck. He pushes himself up a bit and stares into my eyes. “I love you because of how you love me. You get me, and you are and forever will be the most beautiful woman that I have ever laid eyes on. Flaws and all. You saved me,” he confesses while inserting himself inside of me, stroking nice and slow— making love to me all over again.
When I wake up, I catch Nyce staring down at me watching me sleep.
“Caught you,” I smile. He leans in and kisses me.
“Good morning beautiful,” he smirks.
“Do you want some breakfast?”
“Yeah. I can use some before I hit the road,” he replies. I look at him.
“Don’t look at me like that. I’m coming back. I need to get my stuff and I will meet you back here. I can bring the kids back with me and we can fly to Florida from here,” he says.
“Okay,” I smile getting up to make breakfast. I serve him breakfast in bed as we eat, laugh, and talk before burning the calories off during our sexcapades.
I am lying in bed fighting my sleep.
“I’m about to roll,” Nyce says coming out the bathroom.
“Okay,” I yawn. He pulls the covers off my naked body and climbs on top of me.
“What are you going to do without me?” He smiles looking into my eyes.
“I am going back to bed. You wore me out,” I laugh.
“Young-boi can teach me new tricks, huh?” He chuckles.
“Is this what this was? A dick swinging contest,” I ask pissed off and ready to blow.
“No Aneesah. I was just saying…man…don’t ruin the moment,” he says annoyed. “You love me?” He asks.
“Always,” I smile.
“Good,” he replies, biting my chin. “Because I love you too.” He kisses my lips before rising up. I watch him finish getting dressed.
“I’ll see you later,” he declares laying a passionate kiss onto my lips. He then kisses my nose before laying his soft lips upon my forehead. He stands and walks towards the door.
“Hey Nyce,” I call his name.
“What’s up?” He answers turning to look at me.
“Can I have twenty dollars please?” I ask, sticking my hand out. He cocks his head to the side and smiles before digging in his pocket, pulling out a wad of cash and peeling off $200.00.
“Thank you,” I smile. He places his index finger under my chin, gently lifts my head and kisses me a final goodbye.
“I love you. I’ll be right back,” he whispers before heading out the door. I lie back in bed floating on cloud nine. I grab my phone and take a naked selfie.
ME: Something for you to remember me by, I text.
NYCE: (tongue emoji; smiley face with hearts emoji)
NYCE: As if I could ever forget about you. My dick has your name imprinted on it.
I laugh, close my eyes and quickly fall asleep.
When I wake up, I hop out the bed for a much-needed shower. The water feels good against my skin as I wash my hair and the rest of my body. I dry off and throw some sweatpants and a tank top on before calling Pree.
“Hey bestie. Just making sure that you guys got in okay since you never called or text me,” I say to her when she answers the phone.
“Yeah, we’re fine. Sorry,” she says before making vomiting sounds.
“EWW. Did I call at a bad time?” I ask.
“Yeah. I got morning sickness although I think it’s really called mourning sickness because it’s three in the afternoon,” she responds sounding miserable.
“Aww, poor baby. I got a surprise for you,” I tell her.
“Yeah. Did you get me a nanny?” She asks throwing up again.
“No but you go on and finish tossing up your kibbles and bits. I will call you later to check on you.”
“Okay. Sorry,” she says hanging up. I jump on my laptop to handle some business and to try to keep myself occupied so I won’t stalk the clock. My anxiety is turned all the way up in anticipation of Nyce’s return. This time is going to be different. This time has to be different.
I spend all afternoon looking over my schedule, accepting jobs, answering emails and signing contracts; anything to keep myself busy.
At 7:30, I reach for my phone to call Nyce to make sure that he is okay. The call goes straight to his voice mail. I leave a brief message and wait for him to call me back. At 9:30, I try again, ending with the same results and when 12:30am ticks around and I still haven’t heard from him, I know exactly what it is. That mothafucka played me.
“You better not fuckin’ cry,” I say out loud. That whorey ass dogg has made me cry for the last fuckin’ time. I am fuming. I pack my shit and wait anxiously for morning to roll around.
In the morning, I give Dontay and Estelle first class tickets to go wherever their hearts desire along with a pay bonus. We have been going so hard for almost two years that everyone needs a break. I drive myself back to Pennsylvania and head straight to Pree’s house.
“Hey,” I greet her at the door. She looks pale, exhausted and sick.
“Hey honey,” she says giving me a hug.
“You okay?” I ask.
“Yeah. This baby is just kicking my ass. The doctor says that we are fine. Knuck is in a panic though,” she smiles.
“Are the girls here? We can get going if everybody’s together,” I say referring to Melissa and Trey’s kids.
“Yeah, everyone is here. We appreciate you doing this,” Pree replies.
“Of course. I love spending time with my nieces and nephew.” I help Pree gather up the kids and load them into the car.
“Oh. What’s the secret? What do you have to tell me?” Pree asks.
“Oh…um…I think that I will keep the kids for the week. I know they have school so tell Trey and Melissa to send Maliah’s school work and you can send me Taj’s. I’ll make sure they get it done.”
“Okay. Love you like a sister,” she says giving me a hug.
“Me too,” I tell her squeezing her tight. I want to tell her about what happened between Nyce and I, and how he played me, but I refuse to dwell on it and vow that me and him will never be again. I truly hate his ass now.
I enjoy the plane ride with the kids as we fly to Florida to be with Jalena and her new baby girl, Chloé. I have the limo drop us off at her estate.
“Hey,” I greet, giving her a hug.
“Yeah but don’t worry. My townhouse is about forty minutes from here, so we won’t be staying.”
“Girl, shut up. We have plenty of room.”
“Yeah but we’re talking about four noisy ass kids.”
“It’s cool. I might as well get used to it now ‘cause as soon as Chloé turns two, we’re going back at it again,” she says helping me carry our bags into the house. We walk out onto her back patio and watch the kids play.
“BE CAREFUL,” I scream, watching them run around the pool.
“We are Sha-Sha,” Lala yells back.
“Girl, I’ve only had them for like five hours and they are already driving me crazy,” I giggle. “Where’s Miss Chloè? I am here to see her.”
“Upstairs. I’ll get her,” Jalena says. I watch Lala boss the kids around and laugh. She has that whole I’m the older cousin/sister, so you have to listen to me role on lockdown as Taj huffs and allow the girls to chase him. Jalena comes back holding Chloé.
“OOOO look at her,” I squeal as she hands her to me. She is brown sugar, with a full head of dark curls. She is a fat baby and absolutely adorable. I count her little chubby rolls in her legs and fall in love with her instantly.
“Sha-Sha,” Maliah cries.
“What happened now?” I ask looking at Taj who has his hands in his pockets, staring at the ground.
“Am I adopted? Tajee said that my mom and dad stole me from the hospital and now they are in court because my real parents found out and mommy and daddy might go to jail and that is why you have me and that is why my eyes aren’t the same color as mommy’s and me and Maya are here to live with you because mommy and daddy are in trouble and you need to hide us,” she cries, saying all of this in one breath.
“Tajee,” I call his name trying not to laugh.
“She’s such a cry-baby,” he mumbles under his breath.
“I am not,” Lala yells balling her fist and stomping her foot on the ground.
“Why Taj?” I ask. He shrugs his shoulders while Jalena is cracking up.
“Lala, you know that’s not true and Taj made it up. Tajee?” I call his name.
“Well, stop getting on my nerves then,” he huffs with his little fist balled up at his sides.
“You doody head. You get on my nerves,” Lala screams.
“Do I really have to deal with this all weekend?” I whisper to Jalena.
“Kids,” she shrugs her shoulders. I look over at Kenya and Maya who are seemingly happy playing with their dolls under a tree.
“No more name calling and no more lies. Got it?” I say sternly. They both nod their heads before running off.
“Yous a snitch-niggah,” I hear Tajee say to Maliah.
“TAJEE,” I yell at him. He slowly turns around and smiles.
“No. Not-uh. Go sit in timeout,” I yell, pointing at the tree. He reluctantly drags his feet and walks over to the tree.
“They are going to drive me crazy.” I pick up my phone and text Pree.
ME: Can I beat your son’s ass?
“Shit. That little scene has me rethinking having more kids,” Jalena laughs. I shake my head.
PREE: I’m cool wit it. Knuck might try to fuck u up tho. LOL. What he do?
ME: Called Lala a snitch-niggah
PREE: LOL. I kno. His mouth b reckless sometimes. That’s his damn daddy but watch out. Taj is a charming little mofo. You’ll see.
I put my phone down and march over to Tajee who’s sitting under the tree picking and throwing grass. I sigh before sitting down in front of him.
“Do you know why you are in timeout?” I ask.
“Because I lied to Lala and called her a snitch,” he replies looking at me with his big brown eyes.
“And?”
“I said the N word.”
“You can’t use language like that, Taj.”
“I know. It’s what the man wants us to call each other to help keep our people down,” he sighs as my mouth falls open.
“Who taught you that?” I ask.
“Daddy,” he shrugs as a smile creeps across my face. Knuck might be rough around the edges and use inappropriate language around the kids but I do have to give him credit.
“Go play,” I say standing up. Tajee smiles before standing up and running back to the kids. As I am walking towards Jalena, he starts to run back towards me.
“What’s up?” I ask. He looks so damn cute with his little haircut, salmon colored shorts and blue denim button-up shirt. I stare at him curiously because one of his hands is hidden behind his back. Taj takes his little finger and motions me to his level. I kneel down on one knee as he wraps his little arms around my neck, giving me a tight hug.
“I’m sorry Sha-Sha. I love you,” he says giving me a quick peck on my lips before letting go.
“Here,” he smiles, putting some wild yellow and white flowers into my hands before running off. I smile at his gesture and continue to walk towards Jalena.
“I now remember why I want to have more kids,” she smiles.
“I froze my eggs,” I volunteer.
“Aneesah, you didn’t,” she says shocked. “You’re only 34. You don’t even need to be thinking like that right now. You’re acting like you’re forty or something. Besides, your Mr. Right is coming.”
I give her a yeah right look.
“What about Tron?” She asks.
“Fuck Tron,” I snap.
“Yeah, but that song he just released, I’m sure it’s about you,” she giggles.
“What song?”
“You didn’t hear it?”
“No. What song?”
Jalena takes out her phone.
“They’ve been playing it on all the stations down here. Maybe it hasn’t hit Philly yet but it’s really good,” she says, turning up the volume.
Gone
All you wanted was love
All you needed was trust
Not a difficult girl
All you needed was us
I was playing the game
Ain’t no reason to lie
But that’s after I lied and got caught in the lie
See the pain in your eyes
I can tell that you’re hurt
You just wanted the truth
You just wanted to work
I just wanted to have fun that comes with the turf
Of not knowing what I had and knowing your worth.
It’s funny 20/20 when it’s past due
But blind as a bat when I had you
All I ever did was bring the stress out of you, when real love is trying to bring the best out of you
I get it, I get it, I’m wrong
But what’s worst is I knew it so long
But I’m wishing I could get you back
I swear to God I need you back
Chorus
Trying to write this song but I don’t have a melody
Seems like it’s been so long but I don’t have the remedy
If I had you I’d have everything that I’d ever need
I guess it wouldn’t make a difference why you’re gone; because you’re gone
“Uh, it sounds more like he’s talking about Kai’s ass. This should be Nyce’s song,” I mumble, cutting the song off, not bothering to listen to the rest.
“What about Nyce?” Jalena asks.
“Nothing. I was just sayin’.”
We spend the rest of the afternoon catching up, playing and swimming with the kids. We feed them and by 7:30 pm they are all passed out in front of the TV. The next morning, we decide to fly to Orlando to take the kids to Disney World. Thank God Jalena has a nanny and her husband loaned me his bodyguards because if I were alone, I would have lost all of the damn kids by now. Tajee and Maliah keep running from us and the babies start whining after a while because they are hot and tired.
I take plenty of pictures and forward them to their parents and grandparents. By the end of the
evening, we are exhausted and too tired to catch the plane back, so we decide to check in at one of the resorts.
“What do you want to do now?” Jalena asks while I’m burping Chloé. We made it back to her estate early this morning. It’s a beautiful day and we are out on the terrace watching the kids bounce on the trampoline.
“Nothing. I’m beat. We can take them to the movies tomorrow but I ain’t doing shit right now,” I laugh. These kids are exhausting.
“You see why you need a nanny? Don’t talk ish about Pree and Melissa anymore,” Jalena giggles.
“I know…I know. You should come to Kentucky with me; help me finish up my tour. It’ll be just like old times. I miss your light-bright ass,” I chuckle.
“I’m nursing so I can’t.”
“Party pooper,” I smile looking at Chloé sleeping peacefully.
The next evening, we take the kids to the movies. The manager of the theater was nice enough to allow us to sneak in the backdoor, so I didn’t have to be seen and put the kids in danger of any chaos. I get a call from Melissa asking me if I am doing school work with Maliah. I lie and tell her yes while whispering to Maliah and Tajee that we have to start doing their work after today.
Chapter Eighteen
Two weeks later, I return to Philly and happily give the kids back to their parents. They wore me out and my patience is gone. Having four kids to take care of was exhausting. If I wasn’t breaking up a fight, I was chasing behind them, cleaning up after them, feeding them or trying to keep them entertained. I will no longer knock Pree, Melissa and now Jalena for having nannies. All I want to do is rest and lie in bed to sleep. As soon as my last six concert performances are over, I am taking a much-needed vacation.
I’m in Kentucky getting ready for my show.
“Five minutes,” the stage director informs me. I am back stage stretching with my dancers. Only five more shows after tonight and I cannot wait for it to be over.
I’m on stage dancing to “Breakin’ Free”. My male dancer flips me and as soon as I land on my feet a wave of nausea hits me. I have to both shit and throw up at the same damn time. As I’m singing and doing the choreography, a loud belch comes out of me, echoing in the microphone.
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