“Excuse me. At least y’all know I’m not lip singing,” I giggle as the crowd laughs. I don’t know how I manage to get through the rest of the performance but as soon as I exit the stage, I start throwing up all over the floor.
“What the fuck did you eat?” Dontay asks as Estelle is rubbing my back and Kyle is steady filming.
“Go away,” I shoo at Kyle.
“This is great for the documentary. The hardest working woman in showbiz. You’re sick and you still performed,” Kyle says recording. I wipe my mouth and grab the water out of Estelle’s hand.
“Thank you,” I mumble.
I struggle with the last leg of my performances due to me catching Dontay’s fuckin stomach bug but power through. I complete the tour and am finally in the comfort of my own home, able to get the rest that I so desperately need, after ripping and running for almost two years. I stay in bed for days, too exhausted to move. With a few more appearances left to make, I am pretty sure that I am going to take a long ass vacation, away from life. Sure wish I hadn’t given Nas back the island. That would have been the perfect getaway.
“Hey,” Dontay says walking into the kitchen and giving me a kiss.
“Whatever. I’m still mad at you for getting me sick.”
“Whatever. Your ass got me sick first.”
I roll my eyes and take a sip from my glass.
“While you were sleeping last night, Dani was here for a few. I tried to get her to stay but you know how that goes. I fed her and made sure she took a shower, but she pretty much came home to sleep. I think I heard her leave this morning.”
“Yeah, I know. She came in my room to say goodbye. Man, I wish that she would get it together already.”
“Me too,” he says sitting down next to me. “What are you drinking?”
“Chocolate milk. Want some?” I ask holding up my cup.
“No. Aren’t you too old for chocolate milk?”
“You’re never too old for milk. Milk does your body good,” I laugh.
“Sooooo, have you been keeping up with the Hollywood buzz? They think your performance for Lena is Oscar worthy,” he smiles.
“I know. I’m trying not to get my hopes up,” I beam with pride.
“You got this girl.”
“You think so?” I ask with self-doubt.
“I know so,” he encourages.
“This is too surreal. An Oscar and I finally got the action movie of my dreams. OH MY GOD!” I scream in excitement.
“You earned it,” Dontay smiles.
I jump up and retrieve a jar of peanut butter out the cabinet. Grabbing a spoon and chocolate syrup, I pour the syrup on the peanut butter before joyfully licking the spoon like a big ass kid.
“Why don’t you just eat a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup? That makes more sense?” Dontay laughs.
“Shut-up. I don’t have any and this is better,” I giggle spooning some in my mouth.
“Do you need me tonight because I have a date?”
“With whom,” I ask with a smile.
“Some chick named Amber.”
“I’m jealous,” I sulk.
“You can get with the program and stop letting the fact that I am attracted to both men and women stop us from being together,” he says giving me this sexy ass look.
“I’ll pass Dontay but thank you.”
“Suit yourself,” he shrugs, grabbing an apple and walking out the kitchen.
I am enjoying my much needed and deserved time off as I eat whatever I want and sleep my days away—two things that I desperately missed within these last two years. Because Lena Horne was so petite, I had to watch what I ate to maintain my weight and am so thankful and glad that it’s over. I probably have gained close to ten pounds by now.
I am in the kitchen slamming the cabinet doors shut in frustration because I can’t find any chocolate syrup.
“I know I had some in here,” I whine with an attitude.
“Did you use up all my syrup?” I snap at Dontay. He looks up from his magazine.
“What the fuck you talkin’ about? I don’t use that shit,” he says flipping through his GQ magazine. I open the cabinet and pull out the jar of peanut butter, digging my spoon in.
“My fuckin’ nipples hurt,” I whine and laugh as Dontay gives me a strange look.
“What the fuck you looking at?” I snap.
“You. Who you been fucking because you damn sure haven’t fucked me. Are you seeing Tron again?”
“What? No. What the hell are you talking about?”
“You’re pregnant,” he says more as a statement than a question.
“No, I’m not.”
“Your hair texture has changed from the last time I did it and all the fuck you do is eat peanut butter and chocolate milk. I’ve known you long enough to know that those aren’t your favorite snack foods so again I ask. Who you been fuckin’?”
“Dontay shut up,” I snap as my mind begins to race.
“Uh huh, so I will ask you again. Who you been fuckin’ hoe?”
“Oh no…no…no. I’m on the pill,” I panic grabbing my pocketbook and removing my birth control pack. I had a period. I remember. It wasn’t normal though. It was more of me spotting than bleeding. I take a $100 bill out of my wallet and give it to Dontay.
“Please go to the store and buy me every pregnancy test that exists.”
“No. What I look like?”
“Please. If I go, everybody is going to be in my business and I don’t need that shit right now. I don’t want this story leaking out. Please?” I beg.
“Man. You’re a pain in the ass,” he says snatching the money out my hands and walking out the back door. I open the fridge and pull out the apple juice, guzzling it down straight out the bottle. When Dontay finally makes it back home, I grab a paper cup and the tests and run upstairs full speed into my master bathroom. I am about to explode. I hurry, pee into the cup and dip the first pregnancy stick in. I wait anxiously for the results.
After what seems like forever, Dontay knocks on the bathroom door. I’ve been sitting on the ottoman for over an hour in a daze.
“Can I come in?” Dontay barges in when I don’t answer.
“Pregnant, pregnant, pregnant!” He reads, looking at the sticks.
“No. I have a negative right here and a maybe right there,” I whisper trying to hold on to some hope of having a negative result.
“You have nine positives, one negative and a maybe. Yo’ ass is pregnant.”
“No. I have one more test to take and I will take that in the morning. They say that morning pee is the best way to take these tests and that one will be negative,” I mumble walking out the bathroom.
“Here. I got you some chocolate milk,” he laughs.
“Shut-up. I don’t even want it,” I lie. Hell yeah, I want that shit but instead, I walk over to my bed and lie down.
“It’s okay,” Dontay says climbing in. He lifts me up and holds me in his arms. “I’m here. We can do this together,” he whispers.
“You wanna be my baby daddy?” I laugh.
“Only if the job is vacant,” he replies kissing my cheek.
In the morning, I pee on the last stick and wait for my results.
“Positive,” the stick reads back to me. I walk out the bathroom and lie back in my bed next to Dontay.
“Well, what’s the verdict?” He asks, stretching. The look I give him says it all.
“So, are you gonna spill the beans or what? Is Tron the father?” He asks.
“No, Nyce,” I whisper.
“Ooh, you hoe. You fuckin’ married men now?” He laughs. I punch him in his chest.
“I’m sorry,” he laughs, blocking the next punch I throw. I am not in the mood. “How…I mean…what happened?” He asks.
I tell Dontay what happened that night in New York and how Nyce played me.
“I’m sorry. You want me to kick his ass?”
“I’m going to kill him myself,” I huff. “What sho
uld I do?” I ask.
“What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know. I have so much going on. My action film. I really want that part Dontay. I fuckin’ hate his ass,” I venomously spit out.
“You don’t hate him.”
“Yes, I do.”
“Well first I think we should get you to a doctor.”
I reluctantly agree and pick up my phone. I schedule my appointment and the following morning Dontay and I go to visit my GYN.
“Hey Aneesah,” Dr. Lori greets. I like Dr. Lori. She is one of the few black female GYN’s in this hospital.
“Hey Dr. Lori,” I greet as I sit in a gown on the table. Dontay is sitting in the chair next to me.
“Your test results came back positive and…”
“How? I was on the pill?” I snap.
“Were you on any medications?” She questions.
“No.”
“She was sick a few weeks back. She was on some sort of anti-viral med,” Dontay interjects.
“Certain meds can reduce its effectiveness. Also, it has been proven that chamomile tea can have an effect on the pills and prevent them from working adequately as well.”
“She drinks that all the time,” Dontay volunteers, being my mouth piece.
“Dr. Lori, what are my abortion options?” I ask, cutting them off.
“Aneesah, I know that you are not about to do this,” Dontay snaps, standing up.
“Shut-up Dontay. Dr. Lori?” I question, focusing my attention back to her.
“I swear, you better not do this selfish shit. You have no reason to,” Dontay continues.
“Dontay, shut-up. This is my decision.”
“I will fuckin’ quit and never talk to your ass again. You can’t be serious. You were not raped, you’re in perfect health and you can afford to be a single mother. You have no reason to do this.”
“I do have my reasons so either shut the fuck up or get out.”
“An action movie, Aneesah. Seriously? That’s what you are basing this decision on? A fuckin’ action movie. I can’t fuckin’ believe you,” he yells, storming out the room and slamming the door shut.
“Dr. Lori? My abortion options please?”
She stares at me, looking as if she wants to say something but doesn’t.
“Let’s see how far along you are first, shall we?” Dr. Lori replies while I lie back. She sticks the ultrasound wand up in my uterus and starts to gently move it around.
“Hmmmm,” she says while examining me. She takes out the Doppler thingy to listen to the heartbeat and smiles.
“I hear three heartbeats, Aneesah,” she tells me.
“Three? As in I’m having triplets?” I question is disbelief.
“No. I’m sorry. Three as in I hear yours and two others. Twins,” she smiles.
“See, look at God. He may have taken two but he’s giving you two back,” Dontay says stepping back into the room.
“Would you like to listen?” Dr. Lori asks. I nod my head up and down and listen to my babies’ heartbeats. A smile creeps up on my face.
“Would you still like some information on abortion options?” Dr. Lori questions. I shake my head no as my eyes get cloudy with tears.
“See, everything is going to work out fine,” Dontay chimes in, wrapping an arm around me and kissing my head.
After finding out that I am approximately nine weeks pregnant, we drive to the local pharmacy.
“Do you want anything?” Dontay asks.
“I’m okay,” I reply. He gets out of the car to run inside the store to pick up my vitamins. When he returns, we drive home in silence.
“I’m going to make some Chicken Alfredo,” I tell him walking inside the kitchen. I take the chicken out the fridge and walk over to the cabinet to remove a pot.
“You have to tell him,” Dontay says coming up behind me and taking a seat at the island.
“Why? I can do this by myself,” I shrug.
“Because this isn’t the way to do this. He deserves to know and more importantly, those babies have the right to know who their father is. If you had the chance, wouldn’t you want to know who your dad is?”
“No. My dad was a rapist,” I nonchalantly state, even though I miss him every day.
“Well Nyce isn’t your asshole of a father and you really don’t want this coming out years later down the road. Do you know how pissed everyone will be if you keep this to yourself? You need to call him,” he says handing me my phone.
“I don’t want to,” I whine, not wanting to go through with this. Dontay scrolls through my phone and presses the call button.
“HELLO,” I hear a female voice scream into the phone as Dontay’s eyes balloon and his bitch ass hands me the phone.
“BITCH…I KNOW IT’S YOU. STOP CALLING MY FUCKING HUSBAND,” she yells. I hang up on her as Dontay and I burst out in laughter even though the situation is far from being funny. Five minutes later, my phone rings with Nyce’s name flashing across the screen.
“Answer it,” Dontay says.
“No,” I shake my head. Dontay answers my phone.
“It’s him,” he says handing me my phone.
“Hello,” my voice cracks.
“Aneesah?” Nyce replies. I can hear stress in his voice like he is worn out.
“Are you okay?” We ask each other simultaneously.
“I’m fine. I have to talk to you,” I tell him.
“What do you want? What do you need?” He asks letting out a heavy breath.
“Huh?”
“Look, I know you’re mad at me and you have every fuckin’ right to be. I got caught up in some bullshit and…” his words are cut off to the sounds of Tori screaming in the background.
“SHUT THE FUCK UP, TORI,” he snaps. “Look, I was wrong for that night. You’re just gonna have to fuckin’ hate me right now. Don’t call me again until…,” I hang up on him. I look at Dontay who is staring back at me.
“Don’t say I didn’t try,” I snap walking out the kitchen. It is clear that, that night meant nothing to Nyce. He used me. All he wanted was some ass and he used me. I would have killed for him if he asked me to but no longer. I am so done with this shit.
As Biggie and I are coming back from our walk the following afternoon, my phone rings and Larry’s name appears on my screen. I decide to let it go to voicemail.
“I have the contracts. We did it kid. Come to the office or I can have them sent to you. They need to be signed as soon as possible,” he says on my voicemail.
“I guess I owe it to him to tell him face to face, huh?” I ask Big. I run upstairs to get dressed before heading to Larry’s office.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he smiles when I walk in.
“Hey Larry,” I greet, taking a seat.
“Well, here’s the Grammy lineup. You’re eighth to go on,” he says handing me the contract. “Also, it’s official. You have been nominated for an Oscar,” he informs me with a megawatt smile as my own face lights up.
“Wow,” I exhale seeing that I am nominated for best actress in a leading role. I do take note that I am the only female of color nominated. Hopefully, Lena wins best picture for 2017.
“I also scored your song “Queen Strength” on the soundtrack for Nu’bia. Guess who’s producing the soundtrack? The RZA himself,” Larry smiles. “And last…here you go,” he says handing me the script along with the contract. Larry somehow has managed to get them to agree to pay me $8 million dollars. I can feel my heart breaking into tiny jagged pieces as I hold the script. I really want this.
“Your mixed martial arts and weaponry training begins after the New Year. You did it kid,” Larry beams with pride.
“Larry, I can’t take the part,” I whisper trying to refrain from crying.
“Why? What happened? Who do we have to pay to keep quiet?” He asks standing from his chair and walking over to me.
“I’m pregnant,” I choke out.
“Awww kid.” He wraps his a
rms around me. “It will be okay. I fought for you for over 13 years now. There will be other roles to choose from,” he lies.
“Don’t’ tell anyone. I want this to remain quiet.”
“Client/manager confidentiality,” he states, still hugging me.
“Thanks Larry,” I tell him as we both hang on to each other trying to fill the void of disappointment in our hearts.
Two weeks passed by since my conversation with Larry. Although I had to give up the part for Nu’bia, Larry has managed to keep the score for my song “Queen Strength” as part of the soundtrack.
Dani has managed to find her way back home and I fill her in with the news. She’s excited and vows that she will be clean and sober by the time the babies are born. I want to believe her but who are we fooling? I will say this though; she has stayed put and has been catering to me since I shared the news with her.
I’m sitting in the kitchen eating peanut butter out the jar when my phone buzzes.
NYCE: We have to talk, the text reads.
I ignore his text and continue reading my book. After about twenty minutes or so, my phone rings with Nyce’s name illuminating across my screen. I let his call go to voicemail but when he calls me right back, a red flag goes off in my head.
“He’s gonna come here,” I say out loud, sliding off the stool. I rush upstairs to my room and start packing a bag.
“What are you doing?” Both Dontay and Dani ask, peeking in from the doorway.
“Nyce is going to pop up. I have to go,” I tell them, stuffing clothes into my luggage.
“Where are you going to go?” Dani asks.
“Out of here and away from him.”
“You need to tell him,” Dontay says.
“I tried, remember?”
“Okay, so where are we going?” Dani questions.
“My penthouse in New York. Are y’all coming or not?” I ask looking at both of them. They look at each other before looking back at me.
“I guess I’ll go pack,” Dontay huff’s, with Dani following behind him.
When I finish packing, I load my stuff in the truck and hop in the front seat with Dontay being the designated driver. I look down at my phone with over 26 missed calls and texts from Nyce. I erase all the text messages and delete the messages he left on my voicemail and block his number.
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