“Oh no. You aren’t putting that on yourself. He was always a self-righteous jerk, he’s just grown up into an even bigger one. That’s not your fault.”
“I miss them, Lily. I don’t let myself think about them often, but I miss them all so much. Seeing you and Liam has been wonderful and awful at the same time. No offense.”
“None taken.”
“It’s just that I can’t be that person anymore. Madelyn Collier died eight years ago. I’m Jane Winthrop now. No one in my life knows me by Maddie, including Oscar, so please try to remember to call me Jane instead in front of him.”
“Changing your name definitely hasn’t helped anyone in the search for finding you. Whatever happened to you, MC, Jane, whatever you want to be called, I can tell it wasn’t your fault. You scream victim here. Have you ever talked about it with anyone? A therapist? A friend? The people you live with?”
I shook my head no. “I told Liam yesterday, not every gory detail, but more than I’d ever confessed to anyone. That was the first time I’d ever talked about it.”
“I’m a great listener you know, and I have absolutely no right to judge anyone. I know how that feels, so if you need a friend to just listen, I’m here. You’re never going to fully move past it without talking to someone.”
I nodded as the tears fell freely. “You sound like Annie. She’s been trying for years to get me to talk about it, but it hurts so much to even think about it.”
“Well, if you told Liam yesterday, it’s still open and raw, so start talking.”
I did. Once I started talking, everything poured out of me. I didn’t hold anything back and I told Lily every sordid detail of what I had been through. She cried and hugged me and we talked through it together. I had never felt closer to anyone in my life than Lily Westin and the weight lifted off of me from sharing my pain with her was huge.
For the first time in a long time, I felt like I could breathe again.
Liam
Chapter 13
If I were being honest, by the time Oscar and I walked back into the hotel lobby, I was exhausted. Who knew keeping up with a kid could wear a person out like that? I’d never seen so much energy in one little person before, and now he wanted to go swimming, because I promised.
Maddie had left me their room key in case I needed anything for Oscar, like his swimsuit, so we headed upstairs and I let him into his room, wanting to just drop on the bed and take a nap. I let him change, then I did the same, as I had brought my suit with me, carrying it in my backpack all day. We went sightseeing and spent quite some time just driving up and down the hills of San Francisco, before stopping and walking them—after I had let him use my phone for pictures and he couldn’t get the shot he wanted after five passes in the car.
I figured I must be getting soft from working in the office too much, because my calves were cramping and I was beat. Maybe that was the kid’s objective. Kill me off so I’d stay away from his mother. Wasn’t it just yesterday he was growling warnings at me?
Oscar had already informed me that we had to wear shirts and shoes while walking through the hotel, and that towels were provided down there. I wasn’t sure if they were actual hotel rules or Mimi and Papi rules, but I obeyed just the same.
We headed downstairs as I let Oscar lead the way to the pool. That’s when it hit me.
“Hey, kid, can you even swim?”
He laughed. “Yes, can you?”
I’d never seen such a young person with such witty comebacks. Without answering I kicked off my shoes and tossed my shirt aside before cannonballing into the pool.
“Cool! Did you see the size of that splash!” he squealed with delight, quickly following me in, with a less-than-stellar cannonball attempt.
We spent a little time working on his form till he had perfected it. I watched as he doggie paddled across to the wall to jump each time.
“So no one taught you to swim?” I had never seen a pup who didn’t naturally doggie paddle, so I assumed.
“What do you mean? I’m a good swimmer.”
“You definitely are,” I agreed. “But have you ever seen swimmers in the Olympics or on TV?”
“Mommy doesn’t let me watch much TV, but we did a study on the Olympics last year and watched some events online.”
“Okay, so you know what I’m talking about? Freestyle, backstroke, breast, fly, that sorta thing.”
“I can’t do that,” he confessed.
“Of course you can. Come here.” I lay him on his back. This was always the hardest stroke for a wolf shifter to conquer as it made our wolves feel vulnerable, but he only wiggled a little before settling in. He was a quick one. Before long I had him backstroking like a pro all over the pool. We celebrated with synchronized cannonballs before I had to cry mercy and take a break. I sat up on the side of the pool, watching him swim around as my mind drifted off to his mother and wondering what she and Lily were up to.
“Mommy!” Oscar yelled, echoing throughout the indoor pool area. “Whoa, you look beautiful.”
I hadn’t heard them come in, but my jaw hit the floor when I looked up and saw Maddie from across the pool. She looked different. I mean, she was always pretty, beautiful even, but right now, she was a complete bombshell. My heart started racing as I checked her out slowly from head to toe. The tight jeans, the tank top that fit just snugly enough to highlight her breasts, gave me pause to stop. I had to close my mouth to keep from literally drooling. She’d gotten her hair cut and she was wearing makeup.
She was checking me out too, not as obviously as I was gawking at her, but even from across the room I could smell her arousal and I was having a very hard time hiding mine.
“Ew, what’s that smell?” Oscar announced, breaking us out of our mutual lust-induced trance. If I’d had any doubts of her wanting me physically, after all she’d been through, they’d just been laid to rest.
“Hey, champ, why don’t we get out of here and let your mom and Liam talk for a minute? You can tell me all about your day.”
“Mommy, is that okay? I’m really hungry. Can Lily take me up to the room to get changed so we can go eat?”
“Um, yeah, sure.” Maddie said it like she was coming out of a fog. I tried to keep the smirk off my face. She handed Lily the card, and Lily left with Oscar in tow.
“Why does it stink so bad in there?” I heard him ask as the door shut behind him.
I laughed and jumped up, heading for my gorgeous mate.
“We may just scar that poor kid for life at this rate,” I joked.
She looked a little uncomfortable, like she wasn’t sure what to say or do. I didn’t hesitate or give her a chance to argue, just walked up and took her in my arms, stifling the small gasp that escaped her as I crushed my lips to hers. It took very little prodding to get her to open up to me as I set about learning every inch of her mouth. It didn’t’ take her long to begin her own exploration. I was thankful the windows were already fogged from the heated pool, ҆cause I was pretty certain we would have fogged them up just from that kiss alone.
“Hi,” she said breathlessly when I finally pulled back, unsure how long I could control things and keep them PG-rated.
“Hi.” I smiled down at her, resting my forehead against hers and breathing in her scent. “You look amazing.”
She blushed under my compliment. “Um, did, uh, did Oscar behave himself today?” she asked, struggling to find the words and attempting to change the subject.
“He did. He’s a great kid, but I have to admit, I don’t know how you do it. Do all seven-year-olds have that much energy all the time? I’m not going to lie, he wore me out.”
She laughed and the discomfort she seemed to feel after our kiss disappeared. “I know he’s a bit over-the-top sometimes. I hope he didn’t drive you too crazy.”
“Nah, we had a good time. I may have to sleep for a week straight to recuperate, but it was all good. What did you and Lily do all day? Or rather, let me guess. Shopping and spa time.”<
br />
“Yeah, she got a little carried away.”
“Elise is the only one who can come close to keeping up with her. Kelsey begs Kyle to warn her when Lily’s in the shopping mood so she can hide.” Maddie laughed, but I was being entirely serious.
“She definitely talked me into things I would never buy for myself.”
I didn’t hide my interest as I checked out her butt in the jeans. “She did good,” I complimented.
“Liam, you can’t say stuff like that.” She scolded me like she would Oscar.
“Did you have a good time with my sister?” I asked sincerely.
“I really did. I’ve never really had a girlfriend to go shopping with and talk to like that. Not as an adult, at least, and it was really nice.”
I heard a hint of sadness in her voice. “Did she pester you with questions all day?”
“She’s Lily. You know she did.”
Getting her to open up was like pulling teeth, but I waited patiently and kept it to simple questions. “Did you really talk to her?”
The eyes looking up at me were a little haunted, but not as much as they’d been. She nodded slowly. “I-I told her everything. It wasn’t easy, but I think it helped some. I’ve”—she looked away from me and I thought she was going to shut me out, but she seemed to end her internal battle and looked back at me when she started talking again—“I’ve been worried that if people from my past knew what had happened to me, that it would change the way they saw me. That no one would ever be able to love or accept me if they knew. It’s why I’ve never talked about it, no matter how many times Annie’s badgered me about it.”
“Hey, you know now that’s not true, right?” I asked, wanting desperately to tell her I knew and I loved her, that she was deserving of love, but yesterday she had told me we would never be mates and today she had kissed me back. I didn’t want to screw up the progress I felt like we were making, largely thanks to Lily’s intervention, though I wouldn’t admit that to her.
“She-she really hasn’t treated me any difference. We cried together a lot and I told her stuff I hadn’t even been able to tell you. It felt good to share it was someone.”
Her admittance was like a dagger to my heart. On the one hand I was grateful she could open up to my sister, but on the other, I desperately wished it were me she chose to confide in.
“Hey,” she said, seeming to feel my disappointment. “It wasn’t like that. I didn’t tell her more than you, just different, and we talked about you a lot, too.”
I perked up at that, unsure if that was good or not. “Uh, should I be thanking Lily or killing her in her sleep?”
Maddie laughed. “Verdict’s still out on that one.”
I could tell she was teasing me and it felt incredible, like we had reached a new level, and I was filled with hope once again. I wasn’t going to push her. I had the rest of the week to convince her to come home with me.
“Hungry?” I asked and when she nodded yes, I took her hand and started to lead the way back to her room, stopping at the door and running back to grab my shirt and pull it on and slip on my shoes. “Sorry, Oscar’s rules,” I said apologetically, sensing her disappointment when I put my shirt back on. She nudged me in the ribs good-naturedly.
I swung by my room to change while she went to check on Oscar and Lily, then we all met in the lobby to go out to dinner. Maddie seemed relaxed; she smiled and laughed more. I was grateful for Lily’s presence, knowing it contributed to it. It gave me hope that maybe Maddie would come around and my life would not end up the living nightmare I had glimpsed the day before. I decided that I would not rush her or even discuss the future for the duration of our time in San Francisco. I’d simply enjoy every second she’d allow and pray that by the end of the weekend, she wouldn’t be able to live without me either.
The four of us had a nice early dinner. I was surprised to realize it was already Friday. I had a teleconference starting at seven that I couldn't get out of, so after dinner I reluctantly dropped Oscar and the girls off at the wharfs. Lily swore they'd be careful, but they wanted to see the sunset.
I made a quick call asking Mark and Steph to keep an eye on them for me as I headed back to my hotel room for a meeting I wasn't looking forward to. Adam Rogers was a huge pain in my ass. I wouldn't lose any sleep if we lost the account, but I had a duty to try to keep him happy. To my surprise, it went far smoother than I expected and ended just as the girls returned.
“Where's Oscar?” I asked, surprised by the quick panic that set in as my newfound protective instincts flared for the kid.
“We ran into Jacob and Annie in the lobby and he claimed he was starving again and asked to go with them for ‘night dinner,’” Maddie informed me. “Is your meeting over already?”
I nodded, taking a deep breath, trying to calm my overreaction.
Once again Lily and Maddie stayed up late talking before saying their final goodbyes. Lily was heading home early in the morning and I knew it could be awhile before they saw each other again, so I kept to myself in the bedroom, giving them space.
I was pleased when there was a light knock on the door and Maddie came in, shutting the door behind her. I was honestly not expecting to see her and didn't want to push my luck by being too forceful, so I had already showered and was in nothing but my boxers. I pulled the covers over me so as not to embarrass her, but heard her quick intake of breath when she saw my bare chest. I couldn't help but grin in satisfaction.
“I, uh, I'm heading back to my room,” she said softly, still openly staring at my chest. “I just wanted to say good night.”
Screw her comfort. It was the first time my mate had actually sought me out, and I was out of the bed and crossing the room to her before I could stop myself. In one fluid motion, I swept her up in my arms and kissed her breathless. Leaning my forehead against her and grinning like I fool, I whispered, “Good night.”
“Oh, okay then,” she stammered in a fog. “I'll see you tomorrow.”
She left quietly and I headed back to bed, falling fast asleep with a smile on my face.
The week had gone by faster than I expected. Lily headed home the next morning, but I had to stay for the charity event I had used as my cover to track Maddie down. I tried to convince Lily to stay and watch Oscar so Maddie could attend with me, but she said she couldn't without raising further suspicions, and Maddie was still adamant no one could know she was alive.
Only two days were left to convince Madelyn that she and Oscar were better off with me in their lives. I would do anything to keep them, even if it meant quitting my job and leaving my family behind to be with them. Whatever it took, I was ready to make that sacrifice. But I knew it would freak her out to hear that, so I kept it cool and enjoyed a relatively quiet day with her and Oscar, hating the moment I had to finally say goodbye to prepare for the charity ball.
I dressed in my tux, alone in my room, despising the silence. Madelyn had truly come out of her shell with Lily's presence. The girls combined with Oscar's abundant chatter meant very little quiet, and even without Lily today, that hadn't stopped the momentum. The stillness in the empty room was depressing. I couldn't take it long. While normally I would show up deliberately late to such an event, I decided to head down early.
The charity ball was to raise money for the local sea lions. Of course I was happy to contribute on behalf of Steph and Mark. The host of the evening was Stephen Daniels, and Westin Foundation managed several of his charities. The man was extremely wealthy and giving, though I had heard he was quite ruthless in the boardroom, not someone you wanted to get on the wrong side of. Still, as far as Westin Foundation dealings went, he had proven quite generous. I had never met him in person, only talked to him over the phone. I was surprised to find I was looking forward to meeting him.
The ball was being held in the same hotel I was staying in, so a short elevator ride down to the first floor and I was there. People were beginning to arrive in their formal best. The women wore g
owns of every color that shimmered and sparkled when they walked. The men were all in black tuxes similar to the penguin suit I wore. It was without a doubt the fanciest party I had ever attended. I immediately felt out of place and the various smells of perfume and cologne bothered my sensitive nose.
I looked around the room for any hope of fresh air to clear the smells some. I did not enjoy human events, which is why I had originally told Chris to regretfully decline this invitation. I didn't regret coming, though. It had allowed me to find my mate, my Maddie. I knew I was smiling like a smitten schoolboy, just thinking of her, but I didn't care.
Madelyn had come a long ways in the last few days. I could feel our bond growing closer. She had told me she had no wolf spirit, that it had died, but I could feel it. My wolf could feel it, and she had shown signs that it too was strengthening as my own wolf called to it from within her.
I couldn't let myself think of the future. I wanted too much and I knew she wasn't fully ready for that commitment, but I had hope that maybe someday she would. Oscar had taken quickly to me once we made our peace and he didn't feel as threatened with me around his mom. I could even touch her without being growled at now.
I made my way across the room to the balcony doors and stepped outside for a breath of fresh air. The ballroom continued to fill. If there had been any other shifters present, I'm not sure I could have told with the amount of stench the humans covered themselves in. Maddie and Oscar lived in the human world. I couldn't understand how it didn't bother them more. I wasn't sure I could ever fully adjust to the unnatural smells humans used.
I watched them mingle and dance through the windows. A hush and stillness came over the crowd and a man walked up on stage. I knew from pictures it was Stephen Daniels. I quickly headed back inside just in time to hear him welcome everyone and thank them for coming. After a few quick words to start the evening, he exited to his left.
I looked around the room, trying to gauge where he was headed. I needed to at least introduce myself and place my contribution before I could bail. Spotting him heading for the bar, I made my way over and ordered a root beer ahead of his arrival.
Forever Mine (Westin Pack Book 3) Page 11
