by C Renee
I’m hesitant to pick it up, its seven o’clock and way after office hours, but what if its Steph calling to get take out on the way home or to meet her at the local bar.
I reach over to the far left of my desk and pick up the phone. “Hello, this is Louise, finance consultant,” I say my greeting into the phone, and then hold my breath.
“Louise I’m glad you answered, precious. It’s Alex, we met the other night,” a male voice answers, deep and smooth as honey. I clench my thighs together when I sit down. This can’t be happening. He called me and I can’t think of anything to say.
“It’s a shame I caught you on the office phone, you shouldn’t be working this late but this is actually great news for me. I’m in the area and I am taking you out for a drink,” he laughs, he is so full of himself.
“Actually, I’m on my way out and I’m beat from the meetings I had today. Rain check yeah?” I sound more confident than I feel.
“Louise, I’m not taking no for an answer, and would you look at that, I’m waiting outside your building. Don’t make me wait long precious.” I can hear the traffic and cars driving past in the background. This is not good.
“Fine, stalker, but only one drink, some of us do have work tomorrow.” I hang up the phone and pack up the rest of my stuff. I’m walking towards the elevator when I text Steph that I’m about to have innocent drinks with Alex. I press send and five seconds later, my phone is ringing in my hand.
“Yes Steph,” I say when I answered her call.
“You’re going out to have drinks with Alex and you chose to text me that, why didn’t you just call?” she asks, raising her voice into the phone.
“I thought this is what you wanted? For me to actually go out and have drinks with people and I had to call Alex, which by the way he called me instead.”
“Well, yes I did but I wanted to give you a pep talk before you did. Alex has a reputation and I want you to be safe. He could break your heart and I know you’re not ready for that yet.” Steph sounds very worried now. I suck in a breath once I step into the elevator and press G for ground floor.
“Look, it’s only going to be one drink and I want to know why he called. That way I can tell him which charity I want him to donate the money to. I should be home by nine o’clock sharp.” The elevator reaches Ground level and I have to end this call before I step outside to meet Alex.
“Okay Lou, just promise me you will text me when you get there and what place, just in case if anything happens I know where to look first,” she laughs into the phone and we say our goodbyes.
I step into the fresh, cold, night air, and I wrap my coat around my body a little tighter. I’m thankful with what I chose to wear today, my favorite red heels, my black skirt reaching down to my calves with a back slit, a red blouse, and my big black coat.
I look around the sidewalk when I spot a red Ferrari 458. Wow, that is one hell of a sexy car. I get butterflies when I see it. My eyes travel from the back of the car to the front and spot Alex leaning against it. He’s wearing black suit pants with a gray dress shirt, and his hair is styled neat but a messy way that makes me want to run my fingers through it. I get to his face and his eyes are traveling up and down my body. In the dimly lit street I can make out his eyes are twinkling and he that smirk on his lips. I lick my own when I’m done staring at him.
“You look great Louise.” He steps away from the car and heads towards me. He walks seven steps to greet me but he is still a foot away. I inhale a lungful of air and with that I can smell him. He smells like aftershave, earthy body soap and cinnamon. He smells heavenly.
“Hi… what, what are you even doing here?” I ask after I catch my breath.
“Well, since the other night I can’t stop thinking about you. I am due to collect a date you owe me, I thought why not tonight. I was driving past and saw a few office lights on and my thoughts wandered to you. I guess the stars are aligned because you are still here,” he says with a smirk and starts to walk towards the Ferrari. I follow him to the car and he opens the passenger side door waiting for me to get in. First time in a Ferrari, this should be interesting.
I watch him walk around the front of the car to get to the driver side. He gets into the car but before we take off, he plays with the radio system. He fumbles with a couple of dials before he finds the right station. He seems nervous about me being in the car with him.
“So where are we going,” I ask him, finally breaking the awkward silence.
“Umm, maybe we could try the Brass Monkeys, it’s an English Pub?” Alex looks over to me and awaits my answer.
“Yeah, okay.” I turn the music up and hum along with whatever song is playing. I look out the passenger’s side window and watch the cars drive past. I love seeing the tall buildings light up in the night, and then see the small homes grow dark when everyone is getting ready for bed. The houses start to drift out of sight and I’m looking at nothing but open space.
We have been driving for 20 minutes and then I spot a small pub. It looks like a cabin and pub mashed together, it sends off a friendly vibe. Alex pulls the Ferrari into the parking lot.
I get a closer look at the building and it’s beautiful. This place is out in the middle of nowhere; I hope I don’t get murdered.
We walk on gravel; I hear my blood pumping in my ears, the gravel crunching under my feet. My palms start to sweat under close contact with Alex.
We reached the building and it looks very inviting. The exterior has red brick walls with vines growing all over it, a white picket fence and a white front door. On top of the building is the pub sign, so I know we are in the right place.
The roof is made of timber and has a chimney, like something you would find at a cabin up in the woods.
Alex opens the door for me and I walk inside. I scan the inside and I’m impressed. This place looks amazing. There are small round tables everywhere with only four white seats to each table. I see red booths against the right and left walls. In the center of the back wall is the bar, and it stretches right along the wall. Along under the bench there are plenty of blue stools for people to sit on. The bar top is yellow and behind that are the liquor shelves. Placed on them are rows upon rows of alcohol bottles. I think we did come to right place to have a drink.
Alex calls a greeting to the bar tender when we find an empty booth along the back to sit at. I think I heard him yell Fred, but I’m not sure if I heard him right, the music from the jukebox in the corner is soft but it’s loud in a quiet room.
We take a seat and Alex is sitting in front of me with menu in hand.
“I thought we were only getting one drink,” I ask when he looks at me over the top of the menu.
“Oh, well you owe me a date and this place serves the best burgers with fries and dipping sauces. I haven’t been in here in years and I’m sure you’re hungry.” He goes back and looks at the menu. I pick mine up and scan the sections of the menu. I am pretty hungry and a quick bite to eat wouldn’t kill anyone.
“Sure, I am hungry after the day I’ve had.” The fries do look like the best choice as well as the beef burger.
The waitress comes over and I can’t seem to stop the thoughts racing back. I’m hyperventilating; I haven’t had a panic attack in a few weeks. Suddenly I can’t breathe, I feel dizzy and I can’t see the words on the menu. Seeing this woman’s uniform brings back horrible memories from when I was at my old job. That triggers memories from the time I was with Matt. I can’t do this; I need to get out of here. I get up and run to the restrooms. I make it just in time to throw up my breakfast and lunch from today. I can’t shake the feeling that Matt is lurking in the shadows waiting to punish me. My body is shaking against the toilet seat, my head is resting on my hands, and I feel hot tears running down my cheeks. I can’t go back out there. I can’t face Alex after this. I’m embarrassed and humiliated. What would he think of me now?
“Louise, are you in there?” I hear a knock on the bathroom stall before I hear his voice
. He’s here, in the women’s bathroom, he can’t be in here. Oh please go away and let me wallow away in misery.
“Just open the door and let me know you’re okay.” He knocks again and this time I kneel up and I open the door. I sink back down to the floor, hiding my head in my arms.
“Louise, what happened back there?” He sinks to his knees and starts rubbing my back.
“Just bad flashbacks, I don’t want to talk about it. Can you please take me home? I’m not feeling well,” I say around another urge to vomit.
“Are you sure? These fries and dipping sauces will rock your world.” He stands there watching me.
“No, I’m good to go home. The fries and sauces can wait.” Alex moves closer to me and grabs me under the arms. He looks me over and over again just to see I’m not physically hurt. I just want this night to be over and hibernate for the rest of my life.
“I’m sorry Alex, I really am. I have ruined the night for you.” I tell him as we walk past our table, I grab my purse and I let him lead me towards the front door.
“Oh, don’t worry. I’m happy to have you for the short time I did.” He squeezes me arm for encouragement.
The car is a welcome site, I don’t know what I would have done if I had seen a Harley Davidson Motorcycle.
Alex doesn’t bother with the music on the way home. His mission is clear on his face; he wants to get me home as fast and as safe as he can.
“Don’t worry about taking me to the office. I’ll pick my car up in the morning.” I tell him my address. I’ll carpool with Steph tomorrow and drive my car home tomorrow night.
“Wake up Louise, we are here.” He parked the car in front of the townhouses and softly rocks me in my seat to wake me up. I’m groggy and I feel disgusting. I am so ashamed. I don’t want to see Alex ever again.
“I did have fun tonight Louise and I want to see you again soon.” He leans over to give me a kiss but I move back in my seat.
“Sorry, I have vomit breath. Look Alex, I don’t think that’s a good idea, let’s just keep this professional from now on okay?” I exit the car before he can object to that statement. I look back into the car and see rejection written all over his face. Not only am I ashamed from my actions tonight, I’m such a bitch.
I’m standing in the middle of the floor deciding which way I’m going to go up. I chose the elevator, I’m too sick to take the stairs. It is faster to the apartment. I hope Steph isn’t awake. I don’t want to tell her what happened tonight and relive the humiliation.
I walk into the apartment and shut the door behind me. I lean against the back of the door and sink down to the floor. “Oh, you’re home early. What happened,” she asks as she takes one look at my face. She races off the couch and heads straight towards me. Her arms are circled around me and squeezing tight.
“Oh Steph, I have made a massive fool of myself. We… went to this cute little bar and then the… waitress came to take our order and I was… taken back to the time I was living with Matt. Flashbacks of him, the times I worked at my old job and the horrible things Matt done to me. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I don’t… think I’m ready to date or whatever that was,” I say around sobs, I’m shaking and suddenly so tired. I’m grateful now that Steph is awake, I needed her and to let this out instead of bottling up.
“Oh, love. Come over to the couch and take a seat. I’ll get you some water.” She walks over to the kitchen and brings back a large glass of cold water. That’s just what I needed. She sits down next to me and I put my legs over hers. I turn to face her and just let the night sink of what really happened.
“He found me in the bathroom stall, on the floor, and with vomit on my face. He helped me up and brought me home. He even had the nerve to go in for a kiss! Seriously, what else could have gone wrong?” I look her dead in the eye, hoping she knows the pain and humiliation I went through tonight and that she won’t ask anymore questions.
“Oh, Lou, that’s terrible, I’m sorry you had to go through that. Please don’t give up on Alex. He seems like a really good guy once you get to know him. I will run you a hot bath, and then you can soak out all the negativity from tonight. You will have a good night sleep and be refreshed to take on tomorrow. Just remember Lou that I love you.” We both get up and she heads towards my bathroom to run me that bath and I wait until she’s finished to get in.
She gives me one last big hug before she goes to her room. I’m one lucky girl to have a best friend like Steph.
Chapter Nine
Louise
I RUB THE SLEEP from my eyes. I didn’t get to sleep until early hours of the morning. I couldn’t stop crying from the horrific feelings I had while I was at the pub with Alex. I can’t believe I let my fear of Matt affect me like that. I ran away from him and he is still haunting me. Will I ever get a clean slate from him?
I can’t imagine going into work today. I really don’t want to or have the energy today, but knowing Steph, she will make me. She has this motto she likes to remind me of when I want to become a couch potato. ‘Don’t wallow or you’ll become a marshmallow,’ so I haven’t been lazy around her, but when she’s not home, I become a couch potato.
I really want to succeed in the business industry. I want to make a professional name for myself and gain higher clientele at the firm. Then I will decide if I want to have family, but that will come much later in life.
I meet Steph in the kitchen and see she has already made breakfast for us. She made eggs and bacon rolls. It looks like Steph has already eaten hers and left mine in the pan to gather for myself. She looks about ready to leave for work. I’m still in my pajamas and not even close to being ready. I’m not ready for the humiliation I went through last night to come hitting me hard in the face. No way, the worst thing that can happen today is seeing Alex, but he shouldn’t be anywhere near the building as we haven’t schedule for his company’s presence yet, but we will soon and that’s the day I’m dreading the most. That day will be Friday, when the big CEO’s are coming to have a huge lunch meeting. They will be discussing the next project that is still in the works. Mr. Gates approached me last week regarding this particular meeting. He wanted me to go over notes for the meeting, to get to know the clients, what their budget is and what their weaknesses are. Steph has done many meetings like this but she gave Mr. Gates a push in my direction for me to take the reins on this one.
“Holy hell Lou, you look like shit. Didn’t you get much sleep last night?” She leans against the counter with her arms folded across her chest and doesn’t look pleased with me.
“Um… Nope, I really didn’t. So I think I’m going to call in sick today and prep myself for Friday with all these notes that Mr. Gates gave me.” I turn away before she can lecture me anymore.
“Seriously Lou, it wasn’t even that bad. It showed you that this guy cares about you. Give him some credit,” she calls after me. I guess I do have to give the guy some credit, he did try to comfort me in the ladies room and he was going to kiss me but I don’t think that is enough. Steph things it’s enough. I’m not sure I want to believe her yet.
I close the bedroom door and get back into bed. I need more sleep before I tackle those meeting notes.
I wake up feeling refreshed and feeling ready to take on the world, but instead, I’ll tackle those meeting notes I need done before Friday.
I gather the folder from the counter and walk towards the coffee table in the living room. I place the files on the table in organized piles. I need to prepare myself for this huge meeting. I know I can do this I have a sinking feeling about knowing Alex will be there, with his fuck me eyes watching my every move. God, I’m going to be sick thinking about the other night and how humiliated I was.
This meeting is a huge step for me in my new career and I can’t afford some pretty boy fucking it up for me, but I can’t stop thinking about that almost kiss and wondering if he would want to give that another try.
I need to grow some balls and get on with my li
fe. I need to be brave and face my inner demons.
Skimming through the files they seem easy enough to remember and I jot down some keynotes I would like to discuss with Steph tonight. She can give me some pointers on how to present these. I really am grateful to have her back in my life.
****
I sit back against the couch and I reach for my phone that is lying on the table next to the files. I check the time on the phone and realize that four hours have passed. I can’t believe that I’ve been going through these files for hours. I’m starving and I’m hoping Steph comes home soon enough to feed me. She is an amazing cook and I’m tired to cook anything tonight. I’m still looking at the screen and I notice I have three missed calls from an unknown number and they didn’t leave a message. Probably telemarketers trying to change my electricity company even though I don’t exactly have a home.
My legs are starting to get numb from sitting on the hard floor so I get up and do a couple of stretches. I can feel myself starting to cramp up; this old age is really getting to me, either that or I need to get laid to give my muscles another kind of stretching. I mentally shake my head to get rid of the detailed images I pictured. I need to get my head out of the gutter.
I take the couple of steps to the kitchen to grab a block of white chocolate. It melts in my mouth. This by far is my favorite chocolate and a well-deserved treat for the solid hours of work. The files still need finishing so I head back to the floor and get myself comfortable again. Steph would be so proud of me for sticking to it and getting it done right a way. I know she will be happy with either way this meeting will go.
The front door opens with a bang and Steph rushes through it excitedly. She walks into the kitchen carrying a bunch of flowers in her hand. She places the house keys on the counter with a clatter. So, she got a bunch of flowers, what’s new about that? She gets a new secret admirer every day. In college was a lot worse than this. She had guys coming up to her giving her gifts and flowers all the time. They would wait outside of her home to greet her and to ask her out on dates. Steph had to get restraining orders on four guys. Thankfully they didn’t breach that order or try to see her again.
