Making Bad Choices

by Rita Stradling

  “Do you want to call Culter to bring you home? I think that would be okay. He’s eighteen. He can just sign out and back in.”

  “Uh, my phone’s in my locker. Do you have Jen’s number?” I asked.

  She nodded. “If she’s in your emergency contacts.”

  “Could we call her instead? She has the day off work, and I don’t want to make Culter miss lunch or class.”

  “All right sweetheart, no problem. Do you want to go grab your backpack?”

  I did, but I didn’t know if Culter or anyone lingered by my locker. But then, what was the worst that would happen if Culter found out I was leaving? He’d insist on driving me home, but that wouldn’t be so bad. He might try to stay at the house, but I wouldn’t hate that either. “Yeah, I’ll get my stuff.”

  “Okay, while you do that, I’ll call Jen and hopefully work out a ride home for you.”

  Culter wasn’t at my locker, and even though it was better that way, my traitorous stomach sunk when I didn’t see him there. When I returned to the office, Ms. Vale said, “You can go and head out to the parking lot, Cassie. Jen should be pulling up any minute.”

  Instead, I stood at the glass doors, and the moment I saw her hatchback, I pushed open the doors and headed out into the cold.

  “Hey, sweetheart,” she said as I climbed in beside her. Her dark hair piled messily on her head, as if I caught her working out. “Are you not feeling well?”

  I shook my head. “I’m not sick, but I think the insomnia is catching up to me. I just need to sleep. Thank you so much for picking me up.”

  “Babe, even if I’m working, call me. I will be there.”

  I sighed. “Usually, I’ll just ask Culter, but he was already over at lunch and I didn’t want to bug him. But,” I pulled my phone from my backpack, “I should probably tell him that I left.”

  “You two have grown very close,” she said.

  Not wanting to get anywhere near responding to that, I just made an, “Mmm, hmm,” sound and looked down to my phone. When my lock screen lit up, a text from him already waited. You still in the bathroom?

  I texted back, Jen picked me up. I’m so tired, I need to go home and sleep.

  I would have taken you, I got back from him, immediately.

  I thought you were mad at me, I sent back. I wished I could take back the words as soon as I sent them.

  Damn it.

  The words sounded sullen, like I’d left in a whiney fit. But that really wasn’t why I left.

  I wish I could head home now, too, and take a nap with you, he sent back.

  “What’s he saying?” Jen asked from beside me.

  I swiped the last message over and deleted it. Then I deleted most of the ones before it. “He just says next time he’ll take me so you don’t have to,” I mumbled.

  “That’s sweet, but as I said, it’s no problem, Cassie.” She nodded. “So, you’ve lived here in Bulvin for almost three weeks now, what do you think?”

  Looking out the window, I considered the town I’d moved to so recently. I hadn’t seen too much of it, only the school, mall, movie theater, a couple restaurants, Spencer’s and my house. It was fucking freezing and permanently covered in snow. But the truth was that even that wasn’t bothering me so much lately.

  “I think I might love it. I mean, besides the fact I’m always cold.”

  Her eyes went wide. “That’s not what I expected. I have to say I’m very pleased to hear that. Wow, Cassie, I thought you’d be so bored here.”

  “Well, it hasn’t even been three full weeks.” I shrugged. But really, I’d been the opposite of bored in Bulvin, I’d felt more alive and awake than I’d felt in at least two years.

  “And, you have Winter Ball coming up, that’s fun; do you think you’re going to go?”

  “Yeah . . . I’m going to go with Tyler Fuller—” I cut off as Jen swerved the car into the oncoming lane where a truck honked loudly, heading straight for us.

  “Fuck!” Jen screamed.

  “Shit!” I yelled as I held my hands out toward the windshield.

  Jen swerved back. “Oh my God! Cassie! I am so, so sorry!” she yelled as she swerved a little more, slipping on the road. Though, thankfully she was now on our side of the road.

  “Did you hit ice?” I asked, even though I was pretty sure her car had chains.

  “I must have hit ice. Oh, honey, I am so sorry!” she sounded like she was going to cry. Her breathing came fast all the way to the house, which was thankfully only a couple blocks up.

  The garage door opened as we approached and Jen drove into it, parking as the door slid closed behind us.

  Jen turned to me. New wrinkles creased her forehead, and her lips tucked up in a worried line. “Honey, you can’t date Tyler Fuller. I’m so sorry, but you really, really can’t.” She sounded extremely serious about it.

  “We are one hundred percent friends, I swear to God. There is absolutely no attraction from either of us, not a single flirtatious moment between us. I haven’t known him very long, but he’s already someone I care about. I’m not going to stop being his friend no matter what anyone says. I already consider him one of my closest friends.” I blinked at her, “Why are you crying?”

  She wiped at her face. “I’m not—I’m not crying, honey. It just makes me happy that you’ve found such a good friend.” Her voice broke a couple times while she said it, and I immediately felt kind of guilty for making her so emotional over me when I didn’t feel emotional about it.

  “Okay.” I nodded. “I’ll probably have to go with him to buy a dress for the ball this weekend as he told everyone we’re going to buy matching outfits. I’m guessing that you couldn’t go to that if he goes, huh?”

  Again, her voice filled with emotion, “God, I wish I could, honey.”

  I hesitated for a second, and then I told her, “I don’t know if I messed up by accident. Joshie hung out with Tyler the whole basketball game. I didn’t realize then that might be bad. They got along, um, Joshie even decided to make Tyler his cousin.”

  Big fat tears fell down Jen’s face now and she whispered, “Excuse me,” before she climbed out of the car and rushed into the house.

  I followed her slowly, feeling confused as hell. Did I accidentally screw something up? What the hell kind of grudge could make everyone act so fucking nuts?

  On the other hand, Jen was a crier. She cried during every movie, even the action ones. She even cried at Alligatorsaurus 2, and it wasn’t half as well acted as its prequel, and that was saying something.

  Standing in the living room, I looked off toward the hall where Jen and my dad’s room stood. I considered if I should go after her and apologize? I didn’t know. But after a minute of staring off, Jen reemerged. Wet hair stuck out around her face in a way that made me think she might have dunked her face in a water-filled sink.

  “Did I screw up?” I asked.

  “No, honey!” Walking over to me, she touched my arm. “I’m sorry. I’ve just been emotional lately, everything sets me off.”

  “Maybe you’re pregnant,” I said.

  “Not funny,” she said, though there was a trace of a laugh in her voice. “You want me to make you something to eat before you go to sleep?”

  “I can do it, no problem. Um, Jen . . .” I rolled back my shoulders, considering how I should ask this. “Is there something I don’t know about Tyler’s family and ours? Culter said it was complicated, that you guys grew up together and there’s bad blood. But you guys all act so weird about it all. And I feel like I’m not getting something here.”

  Her lips parted and she looked away. “It was very messy . . . the divorce—before the divorce. Things are complicated, but I’m not sure that I’m the right person to explain it all to you.”

  “Is it personal?” I asked.

  She nodded. “I’m not saying you don’t have a right to know, honey. I just don’t think this is the right way to talk about it.” She licked her lips. “But no matter what’s
going on between us parents, you, Tyler, and Culter should all have each other. Don’t let anyone stop you from—” she swallowed heavily, “From caring about each other. Adults suck. You kids just go be happy together. I’m going to go,” she said, her voice choked up, again. Reaching forward, she hugged me.

  As she walked away, I realized that between Jen and my conversation, and my fight with Culter today, I was so exhausted that I might actually be able to sleep.

  Chapter Twenty-six

  I took another bite of cafeteria spaghetti and as the garlicky delicious taste burst in my mouth, I wondered whether the lunch ladies put something in the food today, or if I was just starving. Usually, the food tasted consistently bland, but today it was like they sprinkled magic on it. Taking another bite, I chewed slowly.

  “You are concentrating really hard on your food again,” Culter said, leaning in.

  I glanced over, then around, waking up to the crowded school cafeteria. Voices echoed loud all around the huge room, but the volume had turned down for a little while and all that existed was my spaghetti. Damn it. I did it again, getting all weird on my food. But in my defense, it was awesome spaghetti.

  I narrowed my eyes at Culter. “It’s surprisingly good.”

  Culter leaned in and forked a bite. As he chewed, he smiled. “Seriously regretting the meatloaf, now.”

  His gaze met mine, and then slid over across the table, and he nodded slightly.

  As nonchalant as I could, I peeked over to see Tyler poking Misty and sending her into fits of giggles. She shook her head, her blonde hair going everywhere.

  Beside Misty, Snow White and the other girls huddled together, shooting annoyed glances over to the pair. Snow White shot another glare over at Misty and Tyler, and I considered flicking a noodle at her. I already wasn’t a fan of Snow White, but it was a special level of shitty to resent your friends for being happy.

  Turning back to Culter, I showed him crossed fingers and gave a hopeful smile.

  Day three. I was beginning to think that my total mental freak out about Culter on Monday was just that, an over-thinking freak out. As it was already Thursday and he hadn’t even hinted at making an announcement, I felt relatively safe.

  “Hey Misty,” Culter called across the table, totally interrupting the flirt-fest.

  I elbowed him, but he ignored me and called again, “Misty!”

  Misty’s whole face turned a light shade of pink, but her blue eyes shone bright as she turned across the table. “Hey, uh, Culter.”

  “Are you going to the dance?” Culter asked.

  She looked a little shocked by the question. Swallowing, she tucked her hair behind her ears. “Uh, maybe, I don’t know.”

  What the hell was Culter doing? A quick glance around told me that everyone at our very crowded table was watching.

  “So, I’m going stag, I don’t want a date. But, if you’re thinking about going stag too, you can ride with us.” He pointed between Tyler and me. “We’re getting a limo.”

  A smile lit on Misty’s face, and she looked like she was about to say something, when Snow White leaned forward.

  Snow white glared across the table. “That is so rude, Culter! You’re such a jerk. You’re basically just telling everyone here that you think Misty is easy.”

  I stared, shocked. She’d just said that. She just announced that, and about her friend. Misty had been totally fine, looking happy, looking like she wanted to say yes, and then here Snow White comes, shitting all over Misty’s parade. I was so over this girl and it wasn’t even how she was treating me that pissed me off, it was how she treated her own friends.

  Glaring across the table, I pointed my fork at her. “That is not what he was saying, at all.”

  “Yeah it was.” She turned to me, glaring at me. “He’s saying that he doesn’t even have to put in the effort to be her date, to get her to put out. Misty has more self-respect than that.”

  “No, what he was saying was that us three are going as friends.” I pointed between us. “And, that all of us think Misty is a cool, drama-free chick. If she wants to come hang out with us as friends, she’s welcome. That’s what he said.” I leaned forward, fixing Snow White with my glare. I wasn’t big into confrontation, but this girl was just god-awful.

  She rolled her eyes, clearly thinking I was stupid. “I think we all know why Culter invited Misty.”

  “Order! Order!” Spencer said from my other side, hitting the table. “Order in the courtroom!”

  We all turned to him.

  “On the blue corner, we have Lily, defending Misty’s honor.” He gestured to Snow White. “On the red corner, we have Cassie getting Culter’s back.” He drummed his fists on the table. “Can I call Culter to the stand?”

  We all turned to Culter, who leaned an elbow on the table and smirked like we were all just too ridiculous. “What’s up?” he said.

  Spencer pointed at Culter. “Culter, did you invite Misty to ride to the dance with you to call her easy or a cool, drama-free chick.”

  Culter breathed a laugh. “Cool, drama-free.”

  Lily held out her hands. “Well of course he’d say that!”

  Spencer drummed on the table again. “Order in the court. Misty . . .” he pointed to Misty, whose wide eyes and flared nostrils made her look as if she wanted to melt into the table, “Do you accept that Culter was calling you a cool chick and not easy, or do you want to smack his face?”

  I laughed, but immediately covered my mouth.

  She cleared her throat. “I accept that he wasn’t calling me easy.”

  “Court rules in favor of the defense!”

  “Yeah!” Tyler whooped, holding up a hand and high-fiving me across the table. “Go, defense!”

  “Wait, wait,” Spencer said, holding up his hands in a call for attention to return to him. “You don’t need to answer, Misty, but I think I speak for the table when I say we’re curious: are you going in our limo? And I say ‘our limo’ because I’m inviting myself and my future date.” He pointed at her. “What do you say?”

  She took a deep breath and released it with a small smile. “Yeah, sure.” She shrugged. “Sounds like fun. And the guy I wanted to go with has a date anyway.”

  Under the table, I tapped Culter’s leg.

  In response, he shifted his leg over, pressing it into mine.

  Spencer held up his hands. “No Misty, you heard wrong, I don’t have a date yet.”

  She pointed across the table, giggling. “Not you Spencer, someone else.”

  “Oh, burn.” He held a hand to his heart. “Fine, I’ll just have to be happy with stealing a couple dances.”

  “Okay.” She covered her grin with the back of her hand.

  Even though I wanted to keep my leg pressed to Culter’s, I moved it away.

  Deciding to take a cue from Culter’s matchmaking, I leaned across the table. “Hey, Misty,” I called across to her. When she looked over, I asked, “Tyler, Culter and I were planning on going shopping this weekend, you want to come?”

  “Yeah,” she said, just as Snow White said, “We have cheerleading practice. And we were going shopping for dresses together.” She pointed between her, Misty and the girls to her other side.

  Damn, that girl was getting on my last nerve.

  I turned back to Misty. “When’s your practice?”

  She looked over to Snow White. “Uh . . . Saturday.”

  “You want to go Sunday? You don’t need to get the dress with us, you can just hang out?”

  Snow White glared. “Is everyone invited, or are you just inviting certain people, Casey? Because, that’s pretty rude. We’re all sitting here at the same table.”

  “My name is Cassie.”

  “Ladies, ladies.” Spencer held up his hands. “Let’s all go to the mall. We can pick out our outfits together . . . try them on together. You girls can give us a fashion show, first the lingerie, then the dress, we’ll give you advice, it’ll be great.”

  “Y
ou wish,” I whispered, elbowing him.

  Snow White rolled her eyes. “We’re going to Denver for our dresses.”

  Spencer nodded. “I’m down to go out there; we could stay at Jake’s house.”

  Jake leaned in from Culter’s other side. “Say what?”

  “What do you say about us and the girls all staying at your parents’ place in Denver?”

  “Uh, maybe. I’ll text them. They rent it out through a website when we’re not using it. But it’s probably fine.” He shrugged his big shoulders. “Give me a minute, here.”

  Everyone dissolved into excited conversation, Snow White’s friends especially. I turned to Culter, making a face.

  He only shrugged in return, again pressing his leg into mine under the table.

  “They said it’s cool. We just have to clean it up when we leave,” Jake called down the table.

  “Nice!” Tyler called.

  “We can’t go until two because of practice, but we can go,” Snow White said. “We’ll do dinner in the city Saturday night, hang out back at Jake’s, and then we can shop all Sunday before heading back.”

  Crap.

  Now if I said I wasn’t going, it would look like I was saying I didn’t want to go because of Snow White. This was true, but not the complete truth. Yet again, I was being carried along to some big party-thing I wasn’t ready to deal with, and if I bowed out, I’d seem like a bitch.

  Culter’s leg still pressed into mine, and this time I pressed back.

  “We don’t have to go,” he said.

  Spencer leaned past me. “You don’t have to go, but Cassie does. She promised me she’d show me how girls party in L.A., and I’ve been waiting for weeks. My heart is set, Cassie, set.”

  Turning, I leaned in and said in a quiet voice, “Well, if your heart is set, Spencer, then I’ll go. But don’t expect me to drink too much, okay? I was never too big into drinking.”

  He threw an arm around my back. “As long as you’re there, Cassie, I’ll be happy. We’ll have a great time, you’ll see.”

  “I’m sure we will,” I said, but I didn’t quite believe it. Even though I knew it was very Debby Downer of me, I had a nervous feeling about going on a road trip with this group, especially since we’d be in Denver, I couldn’t signal for Culter to take me out of there. More particularly, I had a bad feeling about partying with Snow White. If she didn’t have a grudge at me before, the looks she shot at me made me think that she sure as hell did now.