Making Bad Choices

by Rita Stradling

  “Cassie, put that down!” Spencer called at me, pointing to my burger.

  I hesitated with my cheeseburger en route to my mouth. “What?”

  “We brought you two your leftovers.” He held up two boxes, but he half tripped on his way to get to us. “I’m fine, fine.”

  “I can eat both,” I said, biting through the burger.

  “Whatever floats your boat. But I have a very serious thing to discuss with you . . .” He pointed between me, Jake and Culter. “You three and Baby Fuller have some serious catching up to do.”

  “That’s right.” Jake grinned wide at me. “Cassie, let me make you a drink, what do you like?”

  I finished my burger and took the leftover steak from Spencer. “Do you have beer? That’s what I usually drink.” I glanced over the selection and found that there definitely wasn’t any beer, wine, champagne, or cider. As for the hard stuff, there was probably a bottle of alcohol per person. “How did you get all of these?”

  “Misty and I pulled hey misters at three grocery stores,” Tyler said. He drummed his hands against the counter. “I’ll take whatever the lady is having,” he said it in a low, old man voice.

  “You got ID, Baby Fuller?” Jake asked as he pulled out a bottle of rum and a bottle of cola.

  “Three months younger than you, damn it to hell, Jake.”

  Jake ended up making drinks for all of us, including Culter who finally joined us from wherever his mind had gone to. He came over and grabbed my steak, microwaving it and even cutting it into pieces like I was a little kid. We ended up all standing around the counter, sipping our drinks and picking at the steaks.

  When our steaks were about halfway gone, Snow White tripped into the kitchen, laughing. “You got a drink for me, Jake, or is this a private party?”

  Jake finished pouring his second drink, but handed it over. “Here. You can take this one and I’ll make another one for me.”

  She took it without thanking him. Snow White grinned around at us as Spencer threw an arm over her shoulders.

  “I have a great drinking game, guys, but everyone has to play,” she said.

  My head came up. Fuck no. I wasn’t playing anything she suggested. I was a firm believer that people were good at heart, so I would attempt to be nice to her despite the fact I wasn’t a fan. I was also a believer that if someone tried to hurt or humiliate you once, you should never hand them a second chance. “I’m not playing.”

  “That’s lame.” She smiled around at the guys standing all around me. “How about everyone else?”

  “How about that game where you put a hat on the corner of the TV and watch a movie, then you drink whenever someone on screen wears it,” Tyler suggested.

  A hand came up from where Misty lay across the couch with another girl. “I vote for that game,” Misty called, giggling.

  “I’ll play, Lily,” one of the two girls I didn’t know, except by face, said from the sitting chair. “But I need something to drink.”

  “Come on,” Lily said, pouting.

  “Sure, whatever you say, beautiful Lily,” Spencer said, finishing his drink.

  “Jake, will you make drinks for the girls, please, please?” Lily dissolved into a total baby voice.

  As if she’d hypnotized him, Jake nodded. “Sure, Lily,” he said.

  Misty sat up. “Tyler, come here.” She smacked the cushion next to her. “I need to tell you something.”

  Tyler looked at me, shrugged and then left. As the other two guys and Lily followed, Culter and I stayed with the steak. With the excuse of eating more, we leaned over the counter close to each other.

  “Maybe we can just make them all go to bed,” I whispered over, grinning at him.

  Behind us, the group laughed and shouted, not sounding at all tired, damn it.

  “It’s not even ten o’clock, Cassie. I still vote for just leaving. I’d even be down to take a taxi if you said yes,” he whispered back.

  I pushed my shoulder into his. “No, we can’t.” I laughed, already feeling fuzzy from the drink I had.

  When we’d finished our steak, and I looked down morosely at our empty containers, Culter whispered, “I still have my burger and the fries.”

  “French fries sound amazing right now.”

  He grinned at me wide like he found it hilarious that I was contemplating a third dinner.

  Only inches separated our faces while smiles echoed on our lips, but our smiles were interrupted by the sound of Snow White yelling, “Oh! Cassie, that one’s for you! You need to drink!”

  Both Culter and I turned at once. Immediately, my stomach dropped at the sight of Snow White fighting a smile, while everyone else in the living room wore identical what-the-fuck expressions.

  “Hey Lily, shut the fuck up,” Tyler said, more angry than I’d ever seen him.

  Lily shook her head. “You shut up, Baby Fuller.” She put a butt-load of condescension into the nickname, and I wanted to smack her for that alone. She rolled her eyes and laughed. “God, guys, it’s just a game.”

  “What did you say?” Culter asked, standing from the counter slowly.

  She made another forced sounding laugh. “I didn’t even say it. We’re playing ‘I never’ and Melissa said, ‘I’ve never hooked up with anyone related to me.’ Which is gross, Mel. But, anyway, all I said was that Cassie probably had to drink to that.”

  “I’m not playing your stupid game, but even if I was, I wouldn’t drink to that,” I said to her.

  As I turned back to my drink, she called out, “My turn. I’ve never slept with my step-sibling.” She turned to us. “Shouldn’t you two drink?”

  “Nope,” I said, glaring back.

  Seeming in no hurry at all, Culter crossed out of the kitchen and into the living room. We all silenced, just watching as he went to stand in front of where Lily perched on the couch. He crouched down, just enough so they were eye to eye. Even though I only saw his profile, I could feel the intensity of how he stared at her.

  “What are you playing at here, Lily? Do you want something from me and Cassie?” he asked.

  She swallowed hard, looking somewhere between shocked and defensive. “No, it’s just a game. I just think we’re all a little curious, is all.”

  “Curious about what?” he asked.

  “If you guys are doing it? You act like you are, it’s weird. I’m not the only one who thinks this.” She looked around, possibly for backup, but everyone looked like they wanted to be somewhere else.

  Culter leaned even closer to her. “No, Cassie and I aren’t doing it, not that that’s any of your business.” He turned to look over to me, his blue gaze intently on mine, he continued, “But I am in love with Cassie. She’s the only person I’ve ever been in love with. And, I’ve been in love with her for a long time.” Standing, he looked back to Lily. “I also could give a fuck what you think about it, so don’t bother telling me.”

  Immediately, I grabbed my glass from the counter and drained my drink. “Holy fuck,” I whispered on my exhale as I clanged my empty cup back on the marble.

  As everyone gaped, Culter wandered back to me and leaned against the counter inches away like nothing happened, like my whole world hadn’t just flipped end over end, yet again.

  My gaze bounced from face to face, Tyler, Spencer, Misty, two random ass girls I didn’t know, everyone, and they all stared straight back at me. Holy fuck, that just happened.

  Stepping away from the counter, I said, “My turn. I’ve never drunk a whole bottle of rum in a bathroom before, but I’m just about to.” I grabbed the rum bottle and the cola, turned and walked in the direction of the hallway where I hoped to find a sufficient bathroom.

  “Cassie,” Culter said, following.

  “I need a minute,” I said, my voice coming out very high-pitched.

  As I stepped into the first bathroom I could find, I started to close the door, when someone hit it open. I turned, thinking it would be Culter, but found Tyler instead. “I’m going in
with you, to hold back your hair and shit,” he said.

  “Oh, good idea,” I said, letting him past me.

  I sat on the closed toilet seat and Tyler on the side of the bathtub, and we passed the bottle back and forth in silence.

  Eventually, I looked at Tyler full in the face. “That just happened, didn’t it?”

  He nodded and handed me back the bottle.

  “Fuck,” I whispered as I took another gulp. Immediately I gagged on the noxious, acidic taste. “Chaser.” I waved at Tyler, and when he passed it to me, I chugged the bottle.

  A knock came on the bathroom door, making Tyler and I look at the door, then at each other.

  “Cassie?” came Culter’s muffled voice from just outside the door.

  “Shit, it’s Culter?” I whispered to Tyler.

  He nodded. “Definitely Culter.”

  I grabbed my face, feeling very like I might fall off the toilet seat. “What should I do?”

  “I don’t know, talk to him?” He gestured to the door.

  “Damn it.” I stood, needing to grab the sink and walls for balance. The small white room was definitely spinning.

  When I opened the door, Culter stood outside it, leaning on the doorframe.

  “You love me?” I asked, though I was completely not planning on saying that.

  He looked over my face, slowly. “I was going to say: let’s talk, but I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

  The room and Culter blended together in a mess of color smears and vomit surged into my mouth. I spun just in time to aim for the sink. Tears streamed from my eyes, and my hair fell forward into the vomit as I retched my guts up.

  Hands pulled back my hair, and I knew it was Culter’s hands. “Hey, Tyler, give us a minute,” Culter said.

  “Yeah, man,” I heard, and then the door closed behind him.

  “I can’t believe you did that,” I said as I lay my head against my arm.

  “We’ll talk about it in the morning,” he said.

  “My mom would be so mad at me. What’s going to happen to us now, Culter? We’re supposed to keep this secret; that was what we said.” A new surge of vomit took me, and left me so exhausted I could barely keep my eyes open. “I really regret that cheeseburger,” I whispered.

  That was the last thing I remembered.

  Chapter Twenty-nine

  I woke alone in a dark room and strange bed. It should also be noted that I woke up with World War III trapped in my forehead, soldiers, bombs and all battling against my skull. A good portion of last night was just gone, but I immediately remembered barfing in Jake’s sink. Hopefully I cleaned that, but I gave it one in a thousand odds that I did. When I licked around my mouth, though, it tasted a lot like toothpaste. No smell of vomit lingered around me, either. Even the tips of my hair smelled like soap, though I distinctly remembered them going into the barf. I was fully dressed except for my boots, still wearing both my jeans and sweater.

  I remembered Culter was there at the end, too. Meaning, there was probably a good portion of my missing night that I spent with Culter, and it was completely gone. I could have said or done anything, and I would have no idea.

  “Culter?” I whispered with a voice that sounded like it went through a cheese grater.

  There was a quiet “hmm,” from the side of the bed. When I crawled to peek over the side, I found him lying on the bare carpet, his coat folded under his head.

  I felt a weird bubble of laughter float up with the thought that when Culter was drunk, he ended up in my bed, and when I was drunk, he ended up on the floor. My hands covered my face. I had no fucking clue where we left things.

  Oh, fuck it.

  I crawled down to the floor, and laid halfway on top of him, my arm and leg hooked over him. Closing my eyes, sleep quickly took me.

  The second time I woke, both Culter and I sprawled across each other on the bed. He held me in the way he always did, with an arm and leg thrown over me. The room we had slept in had parents’ room written all over it, from the decorative bedspread to the generic mountain landscapes that hung central on each wall. A visual check revealed no barf puddles or overturned furniture also decorated the room, but I didn’t trust my wavering vision.

  My phone beeped, and I looked around with one of my eyes attempting to close on me. A second beep revealed the phone to be on the dark-wood nightstand.

  After leaning in and kissing Culter’s hand, I crawled out from under his arm and to the side of the bed. When I lit up my lock screen, I discovered that my phone was beeping its ass off to tell me that I had five missed texts.

  “Oh, shit, what did I do last night?” I whispered as I opened my texting app. All of the missed text messages were from my aunt Daisy, which was kind of good news. The bad news was that the last text read: Don’t let anyone tell you who you can love!

  “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I whispered, scrolling up to the first text which I had sent at midnight.

  Me: Daisy, I think I’m drunk.

  Daisy: Are you safe? Where are you?

  Me: I’m safe. At my friend’s. Culter is taking care of me. I. Barfed. A. Lot.

  Daisy: Drink lots of water! And, eat something if you can.

  Me: My mom would be so mad at me. I’m a fuck up.

  Daisy: Baby girl, I am the wrong person to make you feel bad about drinking. I’ve drunk every night since your mom passed. You want someone to call you a fuck up, text your dad.

  Daisy: That was a joke, don’t do that.

  Me: I did something worse.

  Daisy: No matter what you did, I will help you take care of it. Just do not write it over text.

  Me: Ha, ha, I didn’t kill anyone. You must think I’ve really gone off the deep end.

  Daisy: Good! And, no I didn’t think that . . . exactly.

  Me: I’m in love with Culter.

  Me: I’m assuming that you didn’t respond because you’re shocked and disgusted.

  Daisy: Just worried. Baby girl, you just lost your mom less than a month ago. Your emotions are going to be messy right now.

  Me: I am a big fucking mess, trust me. But, I’m also one hundred percent in love with him. I’ve never felt like this before.

  Daisy: Four weeks is really fast, honey.

  Me: You’re telling me. But maybe it was longer than that. Maybe I called him dickwad and all that shit because he hurt me, then he never came back. Maybe I was mad that he didn’t want to be in my life anymore, but it turned out that my dad didn’t allow him to come back.

  Daisy: Wow. I didn’t know that.

  Me: It gets worse. He just told everyone that we’re together.

  Daisy: Holy fuck! What did your dad say?

  Me: Sorry, not my dad. Jen and Dad still don’t know.

  Daisy: I’m not going to say ‘good’ because that wouldn’t be the responsible adult thing for me to say. But, good!

  Me: I know. But still, his friends know.

  Daisy: Fuck it. If they’re really his friends they’ll accept you two. Or, you two can just move to L.A. Your friends wouldn’t care less, they’re badass.

  Me: I’ve been a bad friend . . . and a bad niece. And, a bad daughter, Mom would think I suck.

  Daisy: Baby girl, your mom would jump up and down cheering. She always loved Culter, she was sad he didn’t come back too. Your mom wanted you to grow and love and live. She was so tired of watching you die with her, honey. If she’s looking down, I guarantee that she’s smiling.

  Daisy: Except about the drunk part, she wouldn’t want you to be doing that.

  Daisy: Are you still there?

  Me: This is Culter. She passed out.

  Daisy: Is she okay?

  Me: She’s pretty mad at me, other than that, I think she’s okay. She cried about her mom tonight.

  Daisy: Not surprising. Who let her get that drunk?

  Me: It was my fault.

  Daisy: Well, take better care of her.

  Me: That’s what I want to do.

  Me: I�
�m going to go do that right now. Goodnight, Daisy.

  Daisy: Goodnight! I love you guys!

  Daisy: Make sure she has lots of water.

  Daisy: Tell her I’m going to visit soon.

  Daisy: Have her call me in the morning!

  Daisy: Don’t let anyone tell you who you can love!

  Dropping the phone onto the bed, I covered my face with my hands. Holy fuck, that was an epic drunk texting session! At least it was with Daisy who was likely also at least a little bit drunk.

  Picking up my phone again, I texted Daisy: I think I’m having my first ever hangover.

  She responded: Too early!

  I looked at the time; it was ten-thirty.

  A second later, I got a text from Daisy: Sport drinks and ibuprofen, drink slowly.

  The room swayed as I made my way across the carpet and out of the room. My fingers ran along the length of the hall. Recognizing the bathroom I’d had my vomiting session in, I peeked my head in. No vomit clung to the sink, thank god—the room had a bleach cleaner scent. I hoped I was the one to use that cleaner, but I suspected Culter.

  In the kitchen, Jake looked up from a bowl of cereal while sitting at the marble island. He smiled, mouth full, before he swallowed. “Morning, lovely Cassie. You hungry?”

  “Death,” I whispered.

  He only laughed.

  “Do you have a sport drink and ibuprofen?”

  Jumping up, he brought me a neon blue drink and a bottle of pills. “Sit, I’ll get you some cereal too. Trust me, it helps.”

  I did as instructed and elected to pick at dry cereal as just the thought of milk made me want to revisit his bathroom sink.

  “Really feeling it, huh?” Jake asked from next to me.

  “Huh?” I asked, woken up from being hyper-focused on picking marshmallows out from the uninteresting cereal pieces.

  “I’ve never drunk like that before, ever. And, never will again, ever, ever. Actually, I don’t remember anything past ten o’clock, which is freaking me out because I know I drunk texted my aunt at midnight. There’s just this big black hole in between; I have no clue what happened.”