One in a Million

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  “I’m really trying my best to be civil about this,” Kennedi finally offered.

  “After the way you clowned yesterday afternoon and then again last night on the phone, I rather doubt it.”

  “Well, maybe if you explained this to me, I wouldn’t have to get so upset. I mean, believe me, I do get the fact that you don’t love me and that we are never going to be together again, but there’s a part of me that needs to know how this happened. Why it happened.”

  “I don’t know exactly how. It just did. And if it’ll make you feel better, it wasn’t that you did anything in particular. I just think people eventually outgrow each other, and to be honest, I wanted out of the marriage long before I started seeing Serena.”

  “Then if that’s true, why didn’t you say anything?”

  “Because I was hoping that I would eventually feel better about us. Except I never did.”

  “But I guess you feel just peachy about this Serena chick.”

  “You know, Kennedi, I don’t want to hurt you any more than I already have, but I must say, life is too short to be miserable, and I’ve never been happier with anyone than I am with Serena. And I’d be lying if I said I was sorry for finding the woman of my dreams. She’s my true soul mate, and maybe one day you’ll be able to find the same thing.”

  Kennedi glared at him and didn’t know what to say. Not after feeling the knife he’d just gouged straight through her heart.

  But he continued. “You know, actually, I need to apologize to you, because the more I’ve thought back on our relationship, I don’t think I ever really loved you the way a husband should love his wife. I mean, I did love you, but I was never head-over-heels in love with you,” he said, grabbing another group of clothing and acting as though he’d just told her how nice the weather was outside.

  Then he went down the stairs and out to his vehicle, and that’s when Kennedi lost it. That’s when she stormed into his closet and took as many pieces of clothing as she could handle from the rack and tossed them down the stairway.

  She went back and forth grabbing everything she could get her hands on and tossed each and every garment until a huge pile had accumulated. But then Blake came back inside the house and caught her.

  “What are you doing?” he yelled. “And why?”

  “Because I felt like it. That’s how we do things, remember? You felt like moving out, and I felt like helping you.”

  “You’re sick.”

  “No, I’m perfectly fine, and all I want is to get you and your crap out of my house.”

  “In case you’ve somehow forgotten, this is my house, too,” he informed her while picking up some of his belongings from the floor and carrying them outside, making multiple trips.

  Then he came back up the stairs again and said, “This house is both of ours, so you might as well get good and ready to place it on the market. Either that or you can buy me out.”

  Kennedi folded her arms and laughed like she was at a comedy show. “You think I plan on staying here? Pleeease!”

  “Actually, I do, because no matter how much you’re trying to talk all big and bad, you know you don’t have anywhere else to go.”

  “Hmmph.”

  “Hmmph is right,” he mimicked, and it took every ounce of discipline in Kennedi not to tell him about the money and how she no longer needed this house or anything else they’d acquired together. She wanted to tell him that if he wanted to, he and that tramp of his could move in the very moment she moved out. But instead, she continued snickering at him, all while he made two more trips between the bedroom and the garage. Then Kennedi sat on the chaise and watched him go through his dresser drawers, pulling out underwear and miscellaneous items. Which was fine until he opened his mouth again.

  “You know, with the way you’re acting now, I no longer feel the slightest bit guilty about my affair, and if you want to know the truth, I feel more free and relieved than ever. You’ve made this so much easier for me than it would have been,” he proclaimed, and then went back downstairs.

  This, of course, sent Kennedi into a rage, and she was glad he hadn’t taken all of his suits out of the closet yet, specifically his two most expensive getups by Armani, those he’d saved up for for months, so he could purchase one last year and another only a month ago.

  Kennedi pulled them both from the rack, laid them across the bed, rushed over to her nightstand, and snatched out a pair of scissors. Snip, snip, snip. Snip, snip, snip. Snip, snip, snip. Snip, snip, snip.

  “What in the world are you doing?” Blake bellowed out, and pushed her away from what now looked like two blazers designed with three-quarter sleeves and pants that looked more like knickers.

  “So, tell me,” she said coldly, “are you still feeling more free and relieved than ever?”

  “I oughtta slap the taste out of your mouth,” he threatened, and moved toward her.

  “I hope you do,” she spat back. “I wish you would put your hands on me, because, brother, you’d be doing me more favors than you realize.”

  She waited for a reaction, but all he did was walk away. Kennedi even followed behind him, yelling every word she knew she would have to pray about, but he still didn’t respond. What he did do was go back outside, get into his SUV, and take off.

  Kennedi watched until he was out of sight. While she’d already accepted the fact that their marriage was over, after this, she knew they were nothing more than common enemies. She knew they would never be friendly with each other again.

  Chapter 8

  It was Sunday morning, bright and early, and Kennedi lay in bed debating whether she should attend church or not. As it was, she hadn’t made it to services last week, but with the way she was feeling at the moment, she was thinking it might be best for her to simply remain in bed. But on the other hand, maybe attending morning worship and hearing a good sermon might make her feel better. Maybe getting out of the house was the nice little pump-up she needed and the one thing that would help keep her mind occupied. Because so far, since she’d opened her eyes, all she’d thought about was Blake and the confrontation they’d had on Friday. Kennedi still couldn’t believe how angry she’d gotten, how she’d cut up two of his most prized possessions, and how she’d said some of the worst things she’d ever said to anyone. But at the time, she hadn’t been able to control herself, and she’d tried her best to hurt him deep within his soul. She’d tried her best to inflict the same kind of emotional pain he’d burdened her with, although now she knew none of what she’d said or done had made any difference, because in the end, Blake had still left and never looked back. He’d driven away in his glory, and like it or not, Kennedi was on her own.

  In the bathroom, she stared in the mirror and saw that she looked like some madwoman. Her hair was all over the place and she hadn’t even bothered to cleanse and moisturize her face—not Friday night, not yesterday morning, and not last night again. She’d lounged around all day Saturday, and the most she’d done was order a pizza from one of the nearby Italian restaurants. Come to think of it, the delivery guy had looked at her rather strangely, right after she’d paid him, and now she knew it was probably because of how interesting she’d been looking. He’d probably thought she wasn’t quite right in the head or that she simply didn’t care about the way she looked. Neither of which was true, but she couldn’t deny that she’d sort of been wallowing in her sorrow. She’d told herself more than once that she was okay with losing Blake and perfectly fine with being single, but there was still a small part of her that would need a bit more time to get used to each scenario. There was something inside her that needed more time to reach a real level of acceptance.

  Kennedi sat on the side of the bed again, preparing to flip on the television, but then the phone rang.

  “Hey,” she answered.

  “How are you?” Patrice asked.

  “Okay.”

  “Did you sleep well?”

  “Better than the two previous nights.”

&n
bsp; “I’m glad.”

  “So, what’s going on with you? And how was dinner?” Kennedi asked, remembering that Patrice and Neil had gone to a new Moroccan restaurant out in the north suburbs.

  “It was great. The food was wonderful and so was the atmosphere. We really enjoyed ourselves.”

  “Good.”

  “So, are you getting ready for church?”

  “No, and I don’t think I’m going to either, because to be honest, I’m really not in the mood. I’m not in the mood for going anywhere.”

  “I understand how you must be feeling, but I think it would be great for you to get out and about.”

  “I don’t think so. At first I was considering it, but—”

  “Oh, come on, girl,” Patrice interrupted. “Neil is heading to some golf tournament with his brother, so we can even get lunch right after.”

  “Maybe another time.”

  “Okay, look.” Patrice sighed, sounding serious. “I let you sit around the house all day yesterday because I figured you needed some time alone, but this is where it ends.”

  “Meaning?”

  “Meaning I’ll be by to pick you up in about an hour and a half. Praise and worship begins at nine thirty, and you and I are both going to be there.”

  “But—”

  “But nothing. Good-bye,” she said, and hung up.

  Kennedi pressed the off button and set the phone on the bed. She still didn’t want to go, but she knew Patrice wasn’t taking no for an answer and would never stop harassing her until she changed her mind. So she went back into the bathroom, took a shower, smoothed her hair back into a bun, applied her makeup, and got dressed.

  Now she was sitting and waiting for Patrice to get there, and she had to admit that she felt pretty good. She was actually looking forward to hearing Pastor Abernathy preach the Word. Kennedi had always loved the way he taught straight from the Bible and so had her mother, and it was probably because he did it with so much ease. He spoke so genuinely, and it didn’t hurt knowing that in all the years since they’d been members of his church, he’d never gotten caught up in scandals. No extramarital affairs, no outside offspring, no money scheming, no anything. Of course, Kennedi knew he wasn’t perfect and that he was just as human as the next person, but overall, he was undoubtedly a decent man. He was a great leader, and his wife had to have been one of the sweetest women Kennedi knew. Pastor and Sister Abernathy were two of the best Christian role models anyone could ask for, and Kennedi let them know it on a regular basis. She’d told them many times that she respected them no differently than if they’d been her own parents.

  However, Blake’s feelings toward the Abernathys and the church as a whole were something totally different. Kennedi had never been sure why, but for some reason, he’d never been all that cordial with the pastor or first lady. They’d constantly gone out of their way to greet him and make him feel welcome, but for the most part, he’d responded on the cool side. Of course, the only reason he’d even joined Abundant Life Missionary Baptist Church was that before he’d met Kennedi, he’d rarely gone to any church at all. He’d stressed more than once how he hadn’t seen a real reason to, but right after they’d gotten married, Kennedi had talked him into joining her congregation. But now, as she thought back, she realized he’d clearly done this against his will. He’d only done it because she’d wanted him to, and this was the reason he’d always dreaded going and only attended every now and then. When Kennedi was young, she’d heard her grandmother talking about couples who were unequally yoked, but little had she known, she and Blake fell into that same category. Kennedi believed in God and loved Him with all her heart, but Blake pretty much could take Him or leave Him. Kennedi believed in the power of prayer, but Blake had never thought it made any difference. Kennedi believed marriage was until death do us part, but Blake obviously had a different philosophy on that subject, too.

  It was amazing, the length of time it had taken her to see just how little she and Blake truly had in common, and had they not separated, she wasn’t sure she ever would have paid much attention to it. She was positive she would have done what so many other married couples did daily, and that was forcibly convince themselves that they were made for each other—convince themselves that they just couldn’t be happier with anyone else. Kennedi knew this wasn’t the case for everyone and that there were plenty of husbands and wives who legitimately loved each other, but after this major falling out, breakup, or whatever you wanted to call it with Blake, well, she would forever have a hard time believing anything she couldn’t see behind closed doors—twenty-four hours a day, three hundred sixty-five days per year. Even then, she’d want to be inside each individual’s mind so she could witness firsthand what they were honestly thinking. It was a shame Blake had turned her optimism into such hardcore skepticism, but this was the reality. Sadly, this was the way she would view marriage and relationships from now on.

  The choir sang in magnificent harmony and Kennedi slightly bobbed her head to the music. She hadn’t wanted to be there, but now she was glad Patrice had convinced her to come. Praise and worship service had definitely lifted her spirits, and she felt better than she had all weekend.

  When the choir finished their last selection, Pastor Abernathy stepped to the podium. As always, he was dressed in a classically elegant suit and looked most distinguished.

  “Let’s give our choir another round of applause,” he began, and members of the congregation put their hands together.

  “Isn’t God a good God?” he continued.

  “Amen” echoed from every direction, and there were at least two thousand people in the building.

  “I tell you, there are so many times when I sit wondering how some people make it through life without Him. I wonder how they deal with trials and tribulations. I wonder how they manage to simply make it through yet another day.”

  “Isn’t that the truth,” one man acknowledged.

  “You just feel sorry for them,” added a woman sitting directly in front of Patrice, and Kennedi wanted to agree out loud with all that was being said, except she’d never been a vocal type of parishioner.

  “Let’s give God a great big hand-clap,” Pastor Abernathy encouraged, and then waited for the congregation to settle down again. “Well, today is a very special day for all of us here at Abundant Life. You’ve seen him on national television, you’ve seen him featured in very reputable magazines, and I’m sure some of you have even read his books. I’ve known about him for years, but I only met this remarkable minister a few months ago at a leadership conference, and I liked him from the moment I met him. At the time, he was dealing with a lot of public scrutiny, but I’m happy to say that today, he’s completely turned his life around and has the kind of testimony that every man and woman in this country should have an opportunity to hear. This great speaker and awesome man of God needs no real introduction, so without further ado, please welcome none other than the Pastor Curtis Black.”

  Kennedi, Patrice, and practically everyone else gave a standing ovation, and Pastor Black hugged Pastor Abernathy and patted him on his back. Kennedi hadn’t heard a thing about his being there, so this must have been an impromptu visit.

  Pastor Black smiled. “Thank you. Thank you so very much.”

  But the applause continued.

  “Thank you. Thank you for offering such a warm welcome,” he said, and the room eventually grew quieter. “This is the day the Lord hath made, so let us rejoice and be glad in it,” he recited, and gazed out at the audience. “It truly is a wonderful blessing to be here sharing with all of you this morning, and I appreciate being given the opportunity. Pastor Abernathy told you that I was a great man of God, but the truth is, he’s one of the greatest men of God I’ve met in a long time. He mentioned how he liked me from the beginning, but what I want each of you to know is that the feeling is beyond mutual. Right away, I could tell he had the utmost integrity and the highest level of moral standards I’ve ever known any ministe
r to have. In just a very short period of time, Pastor Abernathy has become a true spiritual father to me, and no matter how much time passes, I know I’ll never be able to repay him for all of the advice and wisdom he has blessed me with or for the way he kept in touch with me and prayed for my family when we were going through a very rough time.”

  Patrice nudged Kennedi and they looked at each other. Patrice seemed awestruck, and Kennedi knew exactly what she was thinking: that it should be a crime for any man to be this gorgeous. Especially a minister. Kennedi had seen him on television, just as Pastor Abernathy had stated, and had thought he was extremely handsome, but this in-person experience was ridiculous. The man could have signed multimillion-dollar modeling contracts anytime he wanted, and his voice was plain mesmerizing. Pastor Black spoke in a way that demanded one’s undivided attention, and there was no way you could ignore him.

  “Some of you may have seen my interview with Michael Price, and if so, you’re well aware that the situation I found myself in wasn’t a pretty one. The whole disaster was humiliating, not just for me, but particularly for my wife and family, and I will forever be indebted to all of them for standing by me and for still loving me just as much as always. As a matter of fact, Charlotte, baby, stand up. You, too, Matthew and Curtina.” He motioned to his family, and his wife turned around and greeted everyone. Kennedi loved the fitted, royal-blue sheath dress she wore with a large-brimmed matching hat and could certainly see why Curtis had been attracted to her. Charlotte Black was stunning and looked every bit like the wife of a man with money, power, and high status.

  Then there were the children. The son was a handsome little thing and the spitting image of his father, and the daughter was a cutie as well. She didn’t look to be more than a year old, so Kennedi knew this must have been the child Pastor Black had had out of wedlock with his mistress. Kennedi thought it was interesting how his wife had picked up the little girl and was smiling—interesting because Kennedi didn’t think she could accept a child her husband had conceived with another woman while still married to her. But then, who was she to judge anyone? How could she judge another living soul when her own marriage had basically blown up in her face? So, no, she would stop trying to evaluate Charlotte Black and her decision to reconcile with her husband, because if they’d been able to work things out, Kennedi was glad for them. She was happy they’d loved each other enough to do so and weren’t headed to divorce court the way she and Blake were.