Immortal Love_True Love Never Dies

by Shreya Suravajhala

  FASCINATION

  I was standing nearby an ocean and saw a flock of eye catchy pelicans flying happily in the placid sky. I felt his touch on my right shoulder and gasped all of a sudden. I turned back and was awestruck watching his creamy eyes focused on me , his hands around my waist slowly pulling me towards him. Seconds later everything vanishes …… and I realize it was only just a dream. I wake up and stop my buzzing alarm on the cell phone , feeling really awful. A part of me strongly wanted that dream to turn into a reality. It wasn’t guilty pleasure neither was it true love. Then what was it ? I was totally in a state of chaos and confusion. But for the first time after leaving London I had a pleasant dream which meant the end of nightmares hopefully. I dressed up quick , did a bit of make up like adding some mascara and the lip gloss that an old friend gifted me on my previous birthday. I never imagined that I looked so attractive with make up as I was always engrossed in my thoughts when I was in London. I knew that this was all a stupid teenage act of a college girl who has developed a secret crush for her new Professor who was only a day old in the University. As soon as I sat on my seat I started wondering about my crush ….. omg I felt like being surrounded by a violin orchestra playing romantic melodies. Gustave de Balzac came slow and steady , well dressed in a dark yellow pant and a blackish grey blazer resembling a newbie French model. He had a perfectly pitched voice and an excellent American accent which is considered pretty tough by most French people. I remember Simone telling me about how hard he worked to learn the American accent and diction in order to get a command over the language. “That’s all for today folks. I hope you are comfortable around me and able to comprehend my lectures ….umm okay then , see ya tomorrow.” I stood up thinking what to do next ….I-I mean I felt like talking to him but how could I without any specific reason. What would I say ? Sir I’m falling for you , for your magnetic eyes ….. I had to say something right. I poked out of the classroom and scanned everywhere like Ms Marple. I saw Gustave in the staff room speaking to someone on his phone , his face seemed pale and euphoric. His expressions were as if he was canoodling with his girlfriend which annoyed me. “Hey there ! Yes , you. Come in.” He beckoned me twice. I hesitated a little and then finally went inside. I was trembling but had a bundle of joy and curiosity hitting me like butterflies in the stomach. “If I’m not mistaken you are from the Economics Department right ?” He had such a fine observation skill that he could notice the backbenchers also with his sharp eyes. I was glad that he saw me at least. “Yyyyess Sir. I-I mean ……” I was nervous and didn’t know what to say. “Are you okay ? How may I help you Ms …?” I grew paler. “Sia. Sia Walia.” I couldn’t stand his gaze. “Ms. Walia do you have any doubts regarding the subject and stuff ?” I wanted to continue the conversation and hence I had no choice but concoct in a ridiculous manner. “Sir , I have some uncertainties regarding the Keynist and monetarist models. Could you please explain me if possible ?” I never lied to my teachers before but this man’s charisma was like the aroma of jasmines and chrysanthemums mixed together. I sat across him and he began his explanation citing examples from the great depression , classical economics , crisis of 2008 and much more. I felt like a devotee who is seeking truth from her almighty and is free from all obstacles. He rubbed his eyebrows every minute , maintained a dignified posture sitting erect and sincerely convincing me about the causes and effects of various economic phenomena. In fact I not only was mesmerized by his impeccable style of teaching but also understood his interpretation of my concocted doubts. “I hope you are clear by now.” (Smiles)

  Gustave looked like a blossoming flower when he smiled. His face sparkled like that of a toddler filled with enthusiasm. “Thank you so much Sir. I have never seen a teacher so polite and well spoken like you.” He blushed. “Thanks kiddo. Its my job to teach my students in the best possible manner so that they get rid of all the confusion that strikes their curious minds.” I retreated although my heart was reluctant to leave. “Sia.” I immediately glanced back. He stood up with a changed expression maybe of a feeling which he didn’t understand. “Yes Sir. You can come to me to clarify your doubts whenever you want.” He sighed. My heart was beating faster than earlier. “Sure Sir. I-I mean of course Sir I will.” I felt like my feelings reached his soul and even he started liking me. Is this what everyone calls ‘Love At First Sight ?’ Seriously ? I would have been happier if that’s what even Gustave thought.

  Evening was brighter and relaxing and I stood under a maple tree in the garden. I kept staring at the clear blue sky which had no beginning and no end. I wished that my relationship with Gustave would be limitless like the sky and that would happen only when he feels the same for me. Does he ? Teenage doesn’t make any sense if you do not love someone. Not necessarily someone you know personally. Even your favorite actor or protagonist from your most loved novel can be your beloved crush. Being in a state of love is the most unconditional emotion on earth as your senses want a glimpse of your lover’s face and that’s enough for the day. I didn’t bother about Gustave being my Professor nor feared his cousin and my dear buddy Simone’s reaction when she would discover my hidden feelings for him. I just wanted to dwell in seductive dreams like the one I had in the morning and drown in his memories forever. It feels so good when the scars of the past disappear paving way for a new dawn that has tranquility , puissance and zeal to live a fulfilling life.

  THE IMPULSE

  It was 11: 30 in the morning at Harvard and Gustave was reading a journal on a bench underneath the palm tree. OMG ! His hair as black as coal decorated with Baxter of California seemed like glittering gold. As I walked towards him a blonde lady dressed in a black pencil midi skirt and a grey jersey sat beside him. I stepped back in dissapointment unable to tolerate another woman near Gustave. She began a friendly chit chat with my Professor but he was still engrossed with his reading that he barely heard her speak. After a few minutes I turned away and then a pleasant voice utters “Sia”. Again I make a U-turn and it’s Gustave who calls me ecstatically , “Hey Sia ! Watcha doin here ? ” the blonde has already left by then. I wanted to yell at him for allowing a female other than me to talk to him. Because I have become so obsessed with his infectious charm that I can’t stand any woman except myself close to his body. “Good Morning Sir. I-I just was passing through and saw you. Since you were having a serious conversation with someone I thought I shouldn’t disturb you. That’s it.” He came towards me , stood inches away such that I could feel the scent of lemon and his sweltering breath. “Do you wanna say something ?” I tightened my fists as the nervous rush hit my throat and I swallowed it quick. How did he know that I wanted to convey my grudge ? Did he sense it or was it simply a good observation ? I had to stop thinking so much. “ No Sir. I’m absolutely fine.” I widen my teeth to fake a smile and leave immediately. The whole day was super boring as Gustave didn’t have a class. I couldn’t even meet Simone due to a hectic schedule. But I wanted to see my sexy Professor once more to end my hunger. Gustave de Balzac I’m coming. To my dismay , the blonde bitch was again standing next to him. Both of them were in a compromising position and she was about to kiss him in his cheek. “Stop. Stay away from him.” I scream. “What the hell ? What are doing here in the staff room. ?” She retorts in a harsh manner. Gustave is outraged. “You were trying to kiss him. But you cannot coz …..” my eyes turn liquid. “Its none of your business. Moreover , you are a student and how dare you talk to your Professor like that ?” It means she’s a Professor but still how could she think of kissing my love ? “Sia Walia get out of here.” Gustave makes a cracking sound. “I said leave. Right now.”I ran away shattered like broken pieces of a tintless mirror. I was never that hurt when my Aunt used to yell at me as I was after facing a furious Gustave. He looked terrible when he lost his cool and I developed a tad hatred also for the man with angelic eyes. I weeped like a baby all night sitting on the cold marble floor of the washroom. What was my fault ? I just reacted all of a sudden becau
se I was so much in love with my Professor. I didn’t realise when the sun rose as I slept in washroom itself. “Sia , open the door. How long are you gonna take ?” Haruka banged almost fed up of calling me. “I’m sorry.” “Were you dreaming about your future husband or what ?” She retaliated. I wish I could but not right now. I quickly got ready for college with angst , fear and distress striking my nerves simultaneously. I’m not going to talk to you Gustave de Balzac.Only if you apologise then I might consider thinking of forgiving you. I enter the classroom with a dull , ugly and flat face. All the benches were already occupied leaving no room for me except the corner of the first bench. I always hated the first bench as it would force me to listen to the disgusting lectures attentively. That wasn’t my forte though. But my worry is actually that I have to face Gustave after a bitter argument the previous day. “Damn it. He’s coming.” I gradually moved my head upwards to study his reaction by seeing me in front of his eyes. He wore a blue jacket and tailored slacks along with a stunningly beautiful wrist watch. He raised his eyebrows while looking at me and then turned towards other students trying to explain the Phillip’s curve and its implications. I felt so bad about being ignored by my hot French Professor only because I misbehaved with a woman who was using him as her fetish. The class got over and he didn’t even gave a shit about my presence. I felt terrible. All the students exit the classroom and as I was about to leave someone pulls my hand and thrashes me hard. It is the blonde Professor who presses my palms tight against the wall. “Ouch ! What are you doing ? It hurts.” I cry out of pain. “Really ? It will hurt even more if you inch any closer towards Gustave de Balzac.” Her eyes burn with hatred and aggresion. “He’s mine. Don’t even imagine him in your wildest dreams. Understood.” Tears flow in a rapid manner due to the excruciating pain caused by her. I fell down losing grip of her rough hands as she left with a glaring expression. I made a screeching noise resulting out of the immense pain that my body underwent. Suddenly Gustave rushes into the classroom and is shocked to find me crying in a prolonged manner. “Sia ! What happened to you ? Are you okay ?” I could sense his concern. I embrace him tight and weep further. “Hey ! What’s wrong ? Sia , calm down.” I don’t stop crying and hold him tighter indicating him not to leave. “Relax Sia. Relax , relax c’mon look at me.Look at me Sia.” He wipes my tears suavely with his feather-like fingers. “Now tell me what happened exactly.” I stammer out of nervousness and fear that the blonde bitch has filled inside my heart. “Sir sssshe the profffffesor that woman with whom I-I argued yesterday hit me back.” “What ? But why would she do that Sia.?” I collapse on his shoulders losing my consciousness.

  ENTANGLEMENT

  I woke up feeling a bit of dizziness and found myself lying on a comfy bed surrounded by grey walls on four sides , a large bookshelf and a flower vase on the study table beside the door. It wasn’t my hostel which meant that I was in a stranger’s house. I don’t remember anything except crying on Gustave’s shoulder. I try to sit upright but in vain. “Sia.” Gustave’s eyes appear like a green chocolate. “Don’t stress yourself. Please lie down. You need to take rest.” I protest. “But Sir what am I doing here ? I must get back to my hostel.” He strongly disagrees. “Nope. You aren’t going anywhere.” I could see the agony in his creamy eyes. “Then answer a simple question. How did I end up here ? Is this your house if I’m not mistaken ?” “Yes this is my place. Actually, you became senseless in the classroom and I had to take you the hospital. The doctor gave you an injection and prescribed some medicines for a quick recovery. He suggested that you need sufficient rest. I would have taken you to the hostel but it was far away from the hospital and travelling there in this state would have caused a whole lot of stress. So I brought you to my home which was nearby.” He sighed. “Thank you so much Sir. I’m really sorry for troubling you.” He eschewed. “Are you crazy ? Do you know how awful I felt staring at your injured hands ?” He sounded like a protective boyfriend. “I couldn’t sleep the entire night only because you kept murmuring ‘she’s gonna kill me’ , ‘Gustave save me’ & ‘save me Gustave’.” It means he stayed awake in order to pacify me unless I sleep shedding the fear that caught my bones. “After all of this I don’t think you have pestered me instead you made me feel like a normal human being.” (Pause)

  “Sia , I lost my dad in a car accident but me and my mom survived. Mom got remarried and had kids with my stepdad. I felt like a stranger in the house and used to miss my dad deliberately. It wasn’t her fault to be honest but it is my misfortune to have lost a family. I don’t talk to my mom anymore. But I don’t know why I feel an unusual attachment whenever I meet you. You sprung up all my hidden emotions yet again.” Finally , even I feel relieved to witness someone caring for me. I wish I could tell Gustave how madly I love him and crave for his affection. “Will you speak with your mom if given an oppurtunity ?”He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe. Anyway I don’t wanna talk about it.” He puts me to sleep with ease whilst steadily spreading the blanket over my body leaving my face uncovered. He moves his fingers over my hair at a snail’s pace.

  Next morning I felt better post the tumultous affair that made me feeble , incapable and hysterical. I walked downstairs into the flamboyant living room coloured maroon, there were 18th century paintings adding charisma to the walls and silverware inside a showcase made of glass. Gustave had a classic aesthetic sense and his knowledge about interior designing was bang on. “Coffee with milk & sugar.” Even the coffee mug was so trendy. “Nice. You make awesome coffee though.” Smiles. “Thank you. If you want I’ll bring it to the college everyday and you can have it.” “Seriously ? You don’t have to be such a gentleman Sir Gustave de Balzac.” “What’s with Professor Kiara ?” I raise an eyebrow. “Kiara who ?” He utters the name yet again. “Kiara. Kiara Thomas with whom you had an altercation yesterday.” The blonde Macbeth of my life had a lovely name , shit. “She threatened me to stay away from you. She pushed me so hard that I felt tormented.” He was still not convinced. “But will you kindly explain me why did you misbehave with her that day in the staff room ?” “So you still think that I was the culprit. Why do you have to support that Kiara huh ? Don’t you find me attractive ?” I completely lost it. I was babbling like an idiot all through. “What are you saying ? I’m totally confused.” I couldn’t resist anymore. “It’s better if we end the conversation.” I withdraw. “Nope. You will have to tell me why are you acting so impulsive for no reason.” He was desperate to decode my intentions. “You want to know the reason right ? I have gone crazy ever since I met you. You appear in my dreams , thoughts , everywhere.” I break down. “I know that you are my teacher but still how do I stop my feelings from pouring out of my body? I can’t do it.” I squat with both my hands on my forehead. “Sia look I didn’t mean to hurt you. Trust me.” I lift my hand denying him any apology. “You don’t have to Sir. I’m leaving .” I feel dejected. “Sia wait. Please listen to me.” Although he felt guilty about failing to understand my emotions I was adamant that I won’t talk to him for a while. I entered my room and saw Haruka frustrated. She never seemed like a short-tempered girl or someone who would get easily hassled. “Hey ! What happened ? All okay ?” She turned red hot. “The matron yelled at me for your absence. Where were you all night huh ? You don’t understand the word discipline , etiquette , etc ? I had to bear the brunt only because of your reckless behavior.” I felt like a prey at that moment. “Look Haruka just calm down a bit. I didn’t do it intentionally. It’s a long story which I would narrate after some time.”It seemed as if she would kill me if I uttered another word. “No need. I’m disinterested in your fake stories. Better explain it to the matron.” She left the room so fast that I could hear the sound of her boots loud and clear. The last couple of days were horrible. I have had enough of shit in one go. I needed sleep badly to ditch the tension that swept my veins like a virus. I didn’t go to Harvard for a week struggling to erase the bitter memories that always keep bumping into my life.
I received consecutive phone calls and messages from Gustave. Weeks turned into months but I didn’t bother to look at him anymore. My heart turned into an arid land sans love , lust and luck.

  CONFESSION TIME

  Boston flourishes like entrancing orchids on a cloudy day. The shades of violet that embrace all the skyscrapers are marvellous. Its been a month since I had an eye contact with Gustave but needed a detox from romance which created more problems for me than providing a solution. Haruka and I decided to go shopping in the weekend and also if possible catch up with the latest thriller movie. I was huge fan of thriller and action films as a child quite ironical considering my obsession for Gustave. But comparatively , I watched less love stories mainly because I wasn’t so much into sex as much as I relished the plot. I quickly wore navy blue jeans and a cardigan along with comfortable stilettos. I wasn’t a fashionista but the girly chicks always copied my style way back in high school. Haruka looked amusing in a backless yellow gown as if she was attending the Golden Globes. We headed for Copley place located in the Back Bay neighborhood not much far from Prudential Center. It had a magnificent outlook , stores and boutiques of 75 international luxury designers and four office buildings. “This is amazing babe. I feel like stealing all these beautifully expensive items and become invisible.” Obviously. “Well , I ain’t do that because I don’t have any superpower to vanish like Mr.India.” Haruka is surprised. “ Hey who’s Mr. India ?” She made a squeaking sound. “Mr. India is a guy from the movie of the same name who uses an invisibility watch to disappear.” I saw the movie with my Aunt in London and I kinda liked it. “Alright. Invisibility is an unattainable boon.” I nodded. Afterwards we proceeded towards our hostel as we were completely exhausted after a long day of shopping mostly unnecessary stuff. The idea of Gustave sort of evaporated for a while but his magical face still flashes on my mind.