Wildest Dreams

by Blake, Toni

  But maybe it was time to start. “No.”

  Robert blinked, looked mildly displeased. “Tiana.” The tone used on a misbehaving child.

  “No,” she said again.

  He looked disappointed in her—an expression she was too used to, and it made her stomach curl into a tight ball. You’re always letting someone down. Always.

  “Well, darling, there are two ways to go here,” he said. “You can turn around and leave, pretend you didn’t come home at an inopportune time, and we’ll never have to speak of this again. Or you can come have some fun with Amber and me. I’d prefer the second, because I’d prefer for you to understand and respect my wants and needs—but the first will suffice as well.”

  Tina’s mind spun. She just wanted some respect, and she’d thought Robert was the man who would give it to her. Fantasies of her future that, moments before, had been fading now vanished completely.

  But wait. Maybe you can save this. If you stand up for yourself, show him you won’t be kicked around, maybe you can change this into a victory.

  “There’s a third option,” she said, her voice a little stronger now. “I have a cab waiting outside to take me to the spa. You can put Amber in it and send her home. Then you and I can talk this out, get back on track, and make some decisions about our future.”

  “I’m sure I don’t need to remind you who pays your bills, darling,” he said, his tone still bizarrely even and kind.

  “No,” she said, her hope crumbling. He didn’t want her to stand up for herself. He wouldn’t respect her even if she earned it. He wasn’t going to leave Melissa. This wasn’t her home. It all became shockingly clear, and her strength diminished as she spoke from her heart. “I thought you loved me.”

  “I do love you.”

  You’re sitting on our couch snorting coke with a woman wearing lingerie. “I guess you think I’m pretty stupid,” she said on a hard swallow. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

  Robert gave her a long, scrutinizing look. “Stupid? No. But stepping beyond your bounds—yes. There are unwritten rules to the kind of relationship you and I have. You need to understand that, once and for all. You’ve been far too demanding lately. Downright needy, if you want the truth.”

  She girded herself, kept herself from trembling. “Rules? Like that you get to do whatever you want with whoever you want, right under my nose, in the place you told me was my home?”

  He looked unfazed. “Well . . . yes, frankly.” When she didn’t reply, he went on. “I take care of you, Tiana. I give you everything. Every stitch of clothing on your pretty back. Every scrap of food that goes into your pretty mouth. In return, I expect your obedience or, at the very least, your tolerance. Not much to ask for all I’ve given you.”

  From a technical standpoint, she couldn’t argue it. And she supposed most girls in her position would shut up now and accept the situation—go to the spa.

  One problem, though. She couldn’t live like this. If she was with a man, she needed his devotion—that simple. And in that moment, she realized that as much as she loved all the material things Robert had given her, it had been his devotion she’d found most endearing, his devotion that had earned her growing love.

  Now that she no longer had that—and realizing, in fact, that she’d never had it—she had nothing. Less, perhaps, than when she’d found him. “You’re a bastard!” she spat, then reached for the nearest thing—an antique Chinese vase she knew he particularly valued—and flung it at him. It hit the wall above his head and shattered into pieces that rained down on him and Amber.

  Amber gasped, putting her arms up to shield herself as Robert shot to his feet. “Have you lost your fucking mind?”

  “No, you have—if you expect me to live like this! I’m outta here!” She spun, snatched up a couple of the shopping bags, and started to walk through the door.

  But he crossed the room in a flash, grabbing onto her wrist, wrenching one bag free until it dropped to the floor. “Oh no, darling, that’s not how it works. You leave, you leave with nothing.”

  She drew in her breath, then let it back out. “Fine! I don’t need you anyway!”

  She swung the other bag around, hitting him with it, and stormed through the door, thankful she had her purse and what cash was left over from her shopping spree. Not that she had any idea where she would go, what she would do. Oh God.

  She ran back around the house and down the walk; she was shaking when she got back in the cab.

  “To Jardin de Beauté now, miss?” the middle-aged cabbie asked, his eyes meeting hers in the rearview mirror.

  He seemed like a nice man, but she didn’t want him to see her fear, or her sadness. She didn’t want anyone to see it. “Change of plans,” she said, pleased she’d kept her voice from quavering.

  “Where to then?”

  “Um, just a minute—I need to think through the rest of my day.” The rest of her day, and the rest of her life. God, where could she go? What should she do? She knew she could call her mom or Stephanie, and a certain comfort lay in that idea, but . . . Even if her fantasies of life with Robert had just turned to impossibility, she still couldn’t give up and go crawling back with her tail between her legs. Maybe if she’d never told Stephanie she’d become an escort. Maybe if she hadn’t heard Stephanie’s nasty little sounds of disgust over the phone. She just wanted to do something on her own that would make them proud.

  And she didn’t have to give up yet—she just had to think. And right now she needed . . . not to be completely alone in the world—she needed to find Raven. Her only friend since hitting the city, Raven had shown her the ropes of the business. Raven wasn’t happy doing it, either, so maybe together they could figure a way out of their problems.

  So that’s what she would do. She’d head to the CBD and find Raven.

  Only, first, before anything else, she had a stop to make. “Les Couleurs on Royal Street,” she told the driver.

  JAKE STOOD BEHIND the bar at Sophia’s, serving up drinks to the regulars, giving his well-practiced smile, keeping conversation to a minimum, and wishing the night would go faster. He felt like crap inside and wanted to be alone.

  He couldn’t believe what he’d done to Stephanie last night outside her door. He’d simply wanted her with a power he couldn’t push down. And when she’d kissed him back, there’d been no stopping—for either of them.

  Throughout the whole encounter he’d never once thought ahead to how she’d feel afterward. Real nice, Broussard. Dump the girl, then force yourself on her. He knew it had been mutual, but when he’d seen the abject hurt in her eyes afterward, he’d felt like the biggest scum alive.

  The only thing to soften the emotion was the fact that it wasn’t exactly a new one. In fact, it was real familiar. For a guy who’d once liked to think of himself as someone who took care of people, he sure managed to hurt the women in his life. In one way or another. But at least Stephanie’s still alive.

  Damn, the power of that thought hit him hard, nearly had him reeling, making him glad he was leaning on the bar. Just the notion of something happening to Stephanie . . .

  “Whiskey sour.”

  Jake looked up to find none other than Robert Nicholson standing across the bar, an experienced-looking woman he didn’t know at the guy’s side. “And a glass of your best Merlot for Dominique.”

  Jake’s senses went on the alert as he poured the lady’s wine and mixed Nicholson’s drink. He scanned the room for Tina, but didn’t find her. Setting both glasses atop cocktail napkins, he took Nicholson’s money, saying low, “I need to speak to you privately.”

  Nicholson looked flustered at the request, clearly caught off guard, then told Dominique to go mingle and that he’d join her in a minute. Once she was gone, he said, “What is it?”

  “I’m lookin’ for a girl named Tina. You might know her as Tiana. Pretty blonde, last seen w
ith you.”

  The man relaxed a little, looking more comfortable, and slightly smug. “What do you want with Tiana?”

  “She’s got a sister who’s real worried about her ’cause she’s been outta touch. Just tryin’ to hook ’em up, that’s all, and I heard you’d be able to help.”

  Nicholson looked around to make sure nobody was listening before he replied. “I suppose there’s no harm in telling you—I gave Tiana a place to stay for a while. But she’s not with me anymore. She left this morning.”

  Damn it, what timing. “Any idea where she went?”

  Nicholson gave his head a casual shake. “Could be she’s turning tricks in the CBD where I found her. And she’s a clingy little thing, so if I were a betting man, I’d say she’s likely with her friend who introduced us. What was her name?” He peered upward, thinking. “Raven. If I had to guess, I’d say that wherever Raven is, Tiana is.”

  Jake’s stomach somersaulted. If he was lucky, Tina hadn’t yet made it out of the CBD looking for Raven. But if she’d already tracked Raven to the projects—merde.

  “Thanks, man,” he said to Nicholson, even though the guy was a Grade A ass. And he might also be a big player in the drug scene, but Jake would have to explore that later.

  Striding to the end of the bar, he called downstairs to Danny’s office, informing him he had an emergency and had to leave. Next, he called LaRue House.

  “Hello?” God, just her voice was enough to bury him. He felt it in his stomach.

  “Stephanie, get in your car and pick me up outside Sophia’s. I’ve got a lead on Tina and we need to look for her—now.”

  “God—okay,” she said, and they both hung up.

  He didn’t want to scare her, but on the other hand, he had a bad feeling about this.

  TINA PEERED OUT the window as the cab sped up Canal Street toward an address she’d gotten from a girl at the Crescent. “But you don’t want to go up there, girlfriend. Raven’s all strung out, and that’s a badass neighborhood.”

  Yet Tina didn’t care. If Raven was in trouble, she had to find her—then they could both deal with their troubles together. As soon as she located her, they’d grab another taxi and get a cheap hotel room for the night with the leftover money in her purse. Tomorrow, they could both start fresh.

  God, this day hadn’t turned out like she’d expected. It was supposed to be about shopping and spa-ing and then dinner and lovemaking with Robert. Instead, it had been about endings, and new—even if rocky—beginnings.

  Her chest swelled with pride when she remembered her visit to Les Couleurs. Melissa had struck her as a friendly, likable woman, and Tina had actually found herself feeling sorry for her . . . even as she gently told her the truth. “Did you know Robert sleeps with hookers? And that he has an apartment in the Garden District where he puts them up? Did you know he promises he’s going to leave you?”

  Melissa had seemed wholly wounded, but not as surprised as Tina might have expected. She must have suspected there were big secrets between them.

  “I’m not telling you this to hurt you. I’m only telling you because I thought you should know.” And because I want Robert’s perfect little world to come crashing down around him just like mine did today.

  Melissa had thanked her, but then asked her to leave—which was understandable—so she’d headed to the shabby apartment she’d shared with Raven and two other girls for a few weeks. The place was quiet, though, no one home. From there, she’d headed to the Riverwalk mall, where she killed time and tried to think constructively about how to make a change in her life. Only when she’d headed to the Crescent a little while ago had she heard the disheartening news about her friend.

  “Sure you want out here?” the cabdriver asked, pulling to the curb. He was young, kind of cute, and seemed sincerely concerned. She half-considered telling the guy her sad tale, watching for some glimmer of absolution or romance in his eyes, trying to make the miracle of a normal life materialize out of nothing in a New Orleans taxicab. Life didn’t have to be fabulous or glamorous—just normal.

  But even she knew the idea was insane, so she simply smiled and said, “Yeah, I need to find a friend here,” then paid him and got out.

  As the cab slowly drove away, she felt inexorably alone. But you’re going to be a stronger person, starting right now. No more Tiana. She’d just be Tina from this point forward. And she’d help Raven, and together, they’d build a better life.

  She walked briskly, wishing there were more streetlights as she peered behind Dumpsters and into alleyways looking for her girlfriend. Where are you, Raven? Please be here. She willed Raven to appear from somewhere, so they could get in another cab or a passing bus and get the hell out of this creepy place.

  “You too fine to be a white girl.”

  She yanked her gaze from where she’d been searching the shadows and found three young black guys coming toward her. Before her days as an escort, she would have been scared, but she told herself she knew how to handle this. Don’t act afraid—act tough, like you belong here. “You guys know a girl named Raven?”

  One of them laughed. “Yeah, we know Raven. We know her real good.” This elicited a chuckle from the rest.

  “I’m a friend of hers. Do you know where she is?”

  The first guy who’d spoken, wearing a dingy-looking T-shirt, baggy jeans, and a red bandanna over his head, came closer. He smiled at her as if she were prey, something he’d just caught. “Ain’t gonna find no Raven ’round here no more. Done took off, went to some pansy-ass homeless shelter or somethin’.”

  She held her ground, even though he stood too close to her. “Do you know where?”

  One of them shrugged, and the bandanna dude shook his head. “Don’t care, neither. ’Specially now that you’re here.” He lifted his hand, stroking his fingertips down her cheek.

  “Afraid I have to go,” she said. “I have to find Raven. It’s an emergency.” She looked around, up and down the street—but damn it, not a cab or a bus to be seen. Nothing but one beat-up old car cruising past.

  Bandanna leered at her with a grin. “Only emergency I know about’s in my pants.” His friends laughed. “You gonna take care of it for me.”

  Act like he doesn’t repulse you, make a bargain with him, anything. She forced herself to lift her hand to his cheek. “Tell you what. As soon as I find Raven, I’ll come back and we can have some fun.”

  But his smile faded. “Ain’t gonna be no leavin’ or lookin’ for no Raven. You can make it easy on yourself or you can make it hard—don’t make no difference to me. How’s it gonna be? You givin’ it up, or am I takin’ it?”

  Chapter Twenty-five

  “OH GOD, JAKE, that’s her! That’s her!” Stephanie felt ill as she watched Tina struggle against the guys attempting to drag her out of the light. “You have to get to her,” she sobbed. “You have to do something!”

  She’d let Jake drive, and thank God, because she’d have wrecked the car by now. He squealed to the curb and lowered the window, yelling, “Police officer! Step away from the lady!”

  The action on the sidewalk froze and Stephanie nearly fainted when Jake jumped out of the car and pulled a gun from his waistband. “Move away from her!” he commanded. “Now! Against the fence, hands on your head.”

  Finally, the guys let loose of her and Stephanie put down her own window and maneuvered herself up and halfway out of it. “Tina, it’s me, Steph! Come get in the car!”

  Two of Tina’s attackers did as Jake said; the other fled. A second later, when the first two saw that Jake wasn’t going to shoot or give pursuit, they sprinted off as well. It hardly mattered. All Stephanie could see was her baby sister running toward her.

  She flung her door open and met her, arms outstretched, as Tina rounded the fender. As her sister came into her arms, it was as if Tina were a little girl again, running to Stephani
e after a bicycle crash or a bee sting, or later, after a failed cheerleading tryout or a bad breakup. Stephanie held on to her as tight as she could, tears streaming down her cheeks into Tina’s hair. She heard Tina crying, too.

  “My God,” Stephanie murmured. “We finally found you.”

  “How . . . ?” Tina asked, sniffling against her shoulder. “And why? I mean . . .”

  “Ladies, I hate to break this up, but you both need to get in the car so we can get outta here.”

  Stephanie pulled back slightly, making eye contact with Jake over the hood. She loved him and she felt that love wanting to spill from her more now than ever before because he’d saved her sister. Thank you, she mouthed—not because it couldn’t be said aloud, but because her heart was beating so fast and his eyes were so beautiful and dark that she couldn’t get the words out.

  He acknowledged it with a light nod, then said, more softly, “We gotta go. This isn’t a good place to be.”

  ON THE RIDE back to Stephanie’s place, Jake mostly kept his eyes on the road and listened as the two sisters talked and cried and blubbered to one another about how Stephanie had come to New Orleans to find Tina, and it was easy to see how much her concern moved the younger girl.

  So, mission complete. Stephanie would go home now.

  That was what he’d wanted and now it was going to happen.

  And that was a good thing.

  Never mind that it was ripping his guts out just to think about it. To know she’d no longer be a few short blocks away from him, to know he couldn’t see her or talk to her at a moment’s notice if he wanted.

  But he swallowed back those emotions, because that’s what he did, what he was about. And until Stephanie had come along, he’d gotten pretty damn good at it. Good at going through the motions and nothing more.

  He could do that again. Would do that again. He had no other choice.

  He pulled around behind the LaRue to the small lot where the guests parked, and as they all got out, he dropped the keys into Stephanie’s hand.