An Act of Love

by Brooke Hastings

  It was the last time that night that Luke would bother very much with delayed gratification. Time and again he reached out for her, making love to her with all the fiery passion he had shown in Maine but also with a tenderness and caring that hadn't been there before. Randy woke up again early in the morning and stole back to her own room, wanting to avoid the risk of running around in her nightgown once people were up and about. As she snuggled back into bed she wondered how she could possibly have failed to realize how much she loved Luke. Her feelings were so much deeper for Luke than they had ever been for Sean. In addition to physical attraction she felt respect and admiration, and also a selfless concern that was entirely new to her. It seemed impossible for any human being to be as happy as she felt at that moment.

  At first it didn't occur to Randy that Luke's "Good morning", when he phoned the room a few hours later, sounded a little off, but when he invited her to join him for breakfast in his room the strained discomfort in his voice finally penetrated. She refused to panic while she showered and dressed, yet when she walked into his room and saw only regret and guilt in his eyes, anxiety almost got the better of her. It was an effort to smile good morning, to sit down at the table and pretend to calmly sip her juice when she felt like choking on it.

  "I'm crazy about you," he began. "You do realize that."

  A statement like that had to have a "but". Randy resignedly waited for it, and it wasn't long in coming. "But I've been up since you left this morning, trying to figure out what to do, and I'm just not getting anywhere. I wish I could ask you to marry me, Miranda, but I just can't. Not yet."

  "Not yet" were two of the sweetest words in the English language, Randy decided. Things weren't nearly as bad as she'd feared. "I'm not asking for a proposal," she told him. "I realize we don't know each other very well, except, well, physically." She blushed slightly.

  "Exactly. The fact is, I don't know you at all. There was 'Linda' in Maine, 'Miranda' in New York and somebody else here in Philadelphia. Sometimes I wonder if there is a real Miranda Dunne, or only the roles she plays."

  Randy had known that sooner or later they'd have to talk about what she'd done, and was relieved that it was finally out in the open. "Are you very angry that I pretended we'd never met?" she asked.

  Luke shook his head. He wasn't paying any attention to his food, Randy noticed, but then, neither was she. "At first I was, but not anymore. I would like to understand, though."

  Randy studied her plate a moment, then pushed it away. She wasn't going to eat a thing until this was over. "It was just—I'd made such a bad mistake with Sean, and I was so guilty about it. I was afraid of doing it again, of getting involved again. After the way you'd treated me in Maine—sweet half the time, cruel or arrogant the other half—I was confused about what I felt for you. And I thought, if only I had more time I could figure it out. Pretending that we'd never met was actually Lin's idea."

  Randy looked him straight in the eye, her heart racing. "But I'm not confused anymore, Luke. My father was right. I love you very much. I'm willing to wait until you know what you want. And as far as my father goes—"

  "If your father finds out what happened last night he'll lynch me, Miranda," Luke interrupted. He looked downright distraught. "I gave him my word I'd leave you alone. I don't want to hurt you any more than Bill wants me to hurt you, but I can't be sure I won't. And I've told you, the presidency of C & D means a hell of a lot to me."

  Randy urgently explained that her father's common sense would eventually surface, and that her mother had promised to prevent any attempt by her husband to let his personal feelings interfere with business. But her arguments failed to sway him.

  "It would be impossible for me to function effectively without your father's support," he pointed out. "I have this scene that plays through my head all the time. You and I are seeing each other, or even married, and we have a fight. Your father spends the next week scowling at me. I just can't—"

  "That's ridiculous," Randy broke in. "I'm not going to run to my father every time we—"

  "No, wait. Just hear me out, Miranda. I'm thirty-four years old and I'm still single. I've never come close to asking a woman to marry me and it isn't because I haven't met anyone suitable, because I have. Maybe part of the reason has something to do with my father walking out on my mother, or with the man my mother eventually remarried. I think it's scared me off. But it's also true that I've never wanted to take the time out from my career for personal relationships, except of course for my sister. I never starved as a kid, but there were things I never had—lots of things—and I want them now. Let me tell you something that I've learned about myself. If I'd become a doctor the way I'd originally planned to, I wouldn't have practiced selfless family medicine in some small town somewhere. I would have become a New York surgeon and made myself a fortune."

  His explanation, far from clearing anything up, only confused Randy more. Was he saying that he didn't want to get involved with her because that might jeopardize his career? Or that he didn't want to marry at all? "I just don't understand what you want," she said.

  "Neither do I," he admitted. "At first I thought that all I wanted was to sleep with you. Both of us know that if you started to take off your clothes I'd be helping you do it inside of ten seconds. But that isn't getting us anywhere, Miranda."

  Randy stifled an exasperated sigh. Obviously Luke was even more confused than she was. "So what would get us somewhere?" she asked.

  "I don't know, but maybe we should let things ride. Okay?"

  Randy took a drink of water, thinking, Mom, you were so right. Luke isn't going to be easy. Then she stood up to leave. "Knock on my door when you're ready to go, Luke. I would like to attend the meetings today." Without another word she briskly crossed the room and let herself out.

  It wasn't easy to sort out the tangle of emotions she felt, but by the time Luke stopped by half an hour later she'd largely succeeded. She realized that there was no point in being angry. Luke wasn't deliberately being difficult. All the things he'd touched on—how little they really knew each other, the problems with her father, the feelings left over from his childhood—were valid concerns of his. In a way, there was no point even being hurt, except that Randy was human and simply couldn't help it.

  She knew that, given Luke's feelings, continuing to force the issue as she had last night wouldn't accomplish anything. She had no choice but to get on with her life and give him the time he needed. She'd "let things ride".

  But if you don't do the same, Luke Griffin, she thought as she grabbed her suitcase, I'm going to give you the tongue-lashing of your life. If he alternately chased her and put her off she'd go crazy.

  Luke seemed surprised when she opened the door with a friendly smile and asked him to give her thirty seconds. "I'm always leaving things behind. Just one last check."

  She walked back with a pair of pantyhose and saw his fleeting smile. As they drove back to the store she asked him what he hoped to accomplish that day, and learned that his primary goal was for everyone to meet Don Jacoby and start to feel comfortable with him. He hoped to leave the store's employees with renewed confidence in the company and an eagerness to repair C & D's slightly tarnished local image.

  Watching Luke in action that morning, Randy decided that the man could have run for public office. Both he and Don were well-prepared, encouraging honest and creative answers to their questions and stimulating an enthusiasm and excitement that Randy wouldn't have believed possible. She'd planned simply to observe, but became so involved in the discussions that she made a few well-received suggestions and comments on her own.

  Most of all, however, she was fascinated by how Luke skillfully manipulated each of the meetings. Initially everyone in the room would look to him for leadership and guidance. He was the blazing star of Conover-Dunne and no one could fail to feel it. Yet in meeting after meeting he somehow managed to shift the spotlight onto Don Jacoby, so that by mid-afternoon, when everyone gathered to
gether for a final session, the new manager had taken control of the proceedings and Luke was able to laze back and watch, more of an observer than even Randy was.

  Since Don drove back to the city with them there was no opportunity for personal conversation. The two men talked business almost the whole way, scarcely coming up for air even when Luke stopped in front of Randy's building. It seemed impossible for her that the man who opened up the trunk and handed her her suitcase with such a formal smile could have held her and caressed her all night long—and not once, but twice— but he had. And no matter what he wanted to pretend, both of them knew it.

  Chapter Nine

  Randy spent the next week and a half filling in for flu-stricken salespeople in C & D's Manhattan store. For the first three days she worked a summer white sale that was sheer madness, but at least it kept her too busy to think about Luke during the day and left her so tired that she had no energy to lie awake nights.

  When the doorbell rang on Friday night she was sitting at dinner with her parents, eating as much as she could manage to swallow and trying to act cheerful lest Bill Dunne decide that Luke Griffin had broken her heart. Her mother knew a little of what had happened in Philadelphia, but Randy really hadn't felt like talking about it.

  "I'll get it." She was relieved to have an excuse to leave the table. Their visitor had to be someone familiar to the doorman, or else he would have buzzed the apartment by now.

  She opened the door to find her sister and Roger Bennett standing outside, Linda with a large suitcase and Roger laden down with three bulging shopping bags. Somehow everything wound up on the hall floor as Randy embraced first one, then the other.

  "Paris was fabulous," Linda said, picking up the suitcase and striding inside. By now the Dunnes had come into the foyer. "Just wait till you see the stuff I brought back," Linda told her parents as she hugged them hello. Then she seemed to remember Roger, who was still standing near the door with the shopping bags.

  "Darling, you remember my parents from the fashion show," she said. "Mom, Dad, Roger Bennett."

  Roger put down the bags and shook hands with the Dunnes, saying that it was a pleasure to see them again and adding, "You have a captivating daughter."

  "Two of them," Bill said with a smile.

  The older captivating daughter promptly announced that she was hungry, but fortunately for her stomach her mother could always be counted on to rustle up a meal to ward off starvation. As for Randy, between her pleasure in seeing Roger and her sister and her interest in the details of their trip she forgot that she wasn't hungry and finished her veal. After dinner everyone went into the living room for coffee and Linda dumped out the contents of her suitcase and shopping bags.

  Even Bill Dunne was impressed by the treasures she displayed. There were exquisitely beaded handbags at half the New York price, handmade lingerie, bulky, hand-knit sweaters, and a group of clever kitchen gadgets in bright plastic colors that Randy fell in love with. Linda explained that while Roger was tied up in negotiations with his temperamental French director, she'd gotten a little restless and decided to do some traveling. Her notion of "some traveling" encompassed nearly half a dozen European cities, and each of her "finds" seemed to come from some posh but out-of-the-way shop that only the local "in" crowd knew about.

  "Just in case you're interested, I did a little preliminary negotiating on prices," she told her father, taking a piece of paper out of her purse and handing it to him. "You know how rotten I am with figures, so I had Roger translate the local currency into dollars using last week's exchange rates. What do you think?"

  Bill glanced down the list of numbers, then handed it to Emily. "I think that if I don't get you onto my payroll I'm crazy." He paused, frowning at his own enthusiasm. "You understand," he added sternly, "that I expect you to take this seriously, Linda."

  "Of course I will," Linda answered. "I've finally found my true calling in life—becoming a professional shopper."

  But as the evening wore on the woman that Randy had seen glimpses of in Cambridge emerged more fully. Not only did Linda seem serious about a career, she wanted a career in the family business. Randy knew that when Linda put her mind to something she had an ambitiousness and an aggressiveness that she herself couldn't match, but heretofore those qualities had been utilized almost exclusively in the pursuit of either pleasure or men. Should Linda decide to go to business school and pursue an executive position at C & D she would probably give Luke Griffin a real run for his money some day.

  When Randy mentioned that C & D was shorthanded due to a flu epidemic Linda immediately offered to stay in New York and help out. Working in various departments would give her a chance to refamiliarize herself with the merchandise, and remaining in New York for a week or two would give her and her father the opportunity to discuss the details of her future job. Besides, she admitted with a wink at Randy, she'd been looking for an excuse to spend more time with Roger.

  Toward the end of the evening Emily reminded everyone, including her husband, that Thursday was their anniversary, saying that nothing could please her more than to have the family together at dinner. The fact that the invitation included Roger Bennett left Randy jealous of her sister and guilty over the fact. And when Roger and Linda walked out of the apartment arm-in-arm a little later and Bill Dunne said exactly nothing about it, Randy couldn't help but resent his double standard. She didn't bother to hide her feelings when she said goodnight to him. Several times over the next few days she was sorely tempted to argue with him over Luke Griffin, but every time she complained to her mother Emily merely told her to be patient. In the end Randy held her tongue.

  At least having Linda in New York provided partial compensation for not seeing Luke. She and Roger came over for dinner most nights and the two sisters met for lunch on workdays. On Monday they went shopping together for an anniversary present for their parents, finding a small Persian rug in a store specializing in oriental imports and chipping in for it. Randy took Linda's word that even though the rug cost the moon and the stars, it was well worth the price.

  Most other days the weather was so hot and muggy that they stayed in the building and ate at the store restaurant, talking about everything from Linda's trip to Paris to the latest difficult customer. Not surprisingly, however, their primary topic of conversation was their respective men. Although Linda was now completely serious about Roger, she was also very cautious. She pointed out to Randy that she hadn't even met his children yet—they wouldn't be returning to New York until school began in the fall. She wasn't about to rush into another marriage where there might be hostile stepchildren to contend with.

  When it came to Luke Griffin Linda had no advice for Randy beyond the resigned observation that if Bill Dunne would only come to his senses, things would surely proceed in a satisfactory fashion.

  "But it's been over a week," Randy said. "How long am I supposed to humor him for? Another week? A month? A year, for heaven's sake?"

  "Why don't you give it till the end of the week?" Linda suggested. "And then the three of us can gang up on him and make him see reason. He has to have noticed that the women in his family all disagree with him." Linda smiled a little wistfully and laughed softly. "Do you remember the fit Dad had the first time I stayed out all night? I suppose I wasn't the easiest daughter to raise, but at least I paved the way for you."

  "Paved the way?" Randy repeated, laughing herself now. "You wore him down where you were concerned, but what good does that do me?"

  They finished their lunch in increasingly good spirits, laughing and reminiscing over the foibles of fathers.

  Luke knew he'd been acting like an infatuated high school kid ever since returning from Philadelphia, but he couldn't seem to help himself. With the exception of a three-day weekend spent in Dallas he'd been in the store constantly for the last week, and perhaps that was part of the problem. As long as he kept his mind on his job he was fine, but all too often during the day he'd find himself wondering what de
partment Miranda was working in and how she was doing. It wasn't so bad to lie in bed at night and remember how sweetly passionate she was in his arms, because at least no one was around to notice the effect it had on him. But one of these days he was going to allow his attention to wander during a meeting and wind up totally embarrassed.

  Yesterday he'd reached either the high point or the low point of his folly. He'd actually called around to find out where she was and then gone down to house-wares to look at her. Not to speak to her, just to look at her. That in itself was bad enough, but then, when she wasn't around, he'd approached one of the other saleswomen in the department and asked where she was. Upon learning that she was eating lunch in the store restaurant he'd taken the elevator back upstairs again.

  He shook his head in disbelief, thinking that some mysterious virus must have afflicted him, to send him up to the restaurant after her. But virus or not, he had felt like killing her when he finally found her. She was sitting with another woman and laughing about something. What right did she have to laugh, he asked himself, when he was going quietly out of his mind? In his more honest moments he admitted to himself that sooner or later he was going to cave in and confront Bill Dunne about her, but he hadn't quite reached that level of desperation.