Bad Boy: You Are Not Alone

by Kelli Walker

  “Hit me,” I said, putting my wine glass to my lips.

  “Nipple play, bondage, rope play, sensory deprivation, toys, paddling, spanking, teasing in public, daily play, food play, and collaring.”

  “Collaring?” I asked.

  “It’s a ceremony that takes place between two people where a sub declares her dedication to only one dom. Usually involved placing a collar around the sub’s neck,” he said.

  “Subs wear collars. Are you serious?” I asked.

  “It’s a very serious ceremony, and it doesn’t always happen. A dom presenting a collar to his sub would be the equivalent of a BDSM engagement ring. It’s an outward sign of an inward dedication between the two of them from a relationship garnered and grown over time.”

  “Oh,” I said.

  “Would you like any others defined?” he asked.

  “Daily play?” I asked.

  “That’s just the lifestyle BDSM. I call it ‘daily play’ because it’s not something I do 24/7. With my ideal sub, I’d do it one day-- or maybe a weekend-- at a time.”

  “Is that where you like, just strap me down and stick it in me when you want to?” I asked.

  “No, that’s more on the harder end of rope play. I enjoy rope play, but not to that extent.”

  “Oh, shit. That’s actually a thing?” I asked.

  “If you can imagine it, there’s probably someone in the BDSM community who enjoys some spectrum of it.”

  “Damn,” I said, giggling.

  “My version of ‘daily play’ would start out with a note or a text message to let my sub know what was going on. That way, my sub can either get on board or let me know why it can’t happen today. But, the moment my sub agrees to my first command, they’re locked in for the day.”

  “Alright. So, you just tease each other all day until you two cave and have sex?” I asked.

  “Nope. Not all play days include sex. Sometimes it could include discrete toys or simply a day where you do as I ask. Maybe I want you to stay in and walk around in a set of lingerie I purchased you the night before, or maybe I have secretive plans that require you to trust me and let go. Maybe I want you to sit on the couch and take in a movie while I finger you before telling you not to cum, or maybe I wanna grab your hair and shove my cock down your throat while you’re making lunch.”

  I shivered at the thought of it all as I took a long pull from my wine glass. His gaze was steady and his face completely serious, and there was a part of me that wanted one of those days with him. I wanted to know what it would be like to really and truly not know what was happening with my days, but I also realized I was only in town for a little while longer… and all of it required me to work in one way or another.

  “Does any of that pique your interest?” he asked as he grabbed a breadstick.

  “Honestly? The daily play sounds really interesting. But, I’m working everyday while I’m here, so I can’t really indulge in an entire day,” I said.

  “Could you elongate your stay by a day or two? Is there a reason you have to go back once your job is done here?” he asked.

  “You forget I have an employee.”

  “Who is fully capable of taking care of herself while you’re gone.”

  “Kevin, we all just went on vacation a little while ago. I really need to hunker down and work while I can if I’m gonna make the winter one this year,” I said.

  “Alright, that’s fine. I was just asking. But, the offer’s there. If you find another day or two in your schedule you can take, know your room will always be here for you to use, whether or not you indulge in what we’re doing,” he said.

  The two of us ate in relative silence after that while my mind digested everything he had said. I couldn’t lie to myself, all of it sounded phenomenal, but in three days I’d be on a plane back to DC in order to relieve Maddie from fielding the office phone calls and dealing with all the paperwork that came with this case. Did I want to stay with Kevin and experience a ‘daily play’ with him? Of course.

  But, I was an adult and also had responsibilities. I couldn’t just abandon them for some… some adult play time.

  “Whatcha thinkin’ about?” Kevin asked.

  “Hmm?”

  “What’s on that pretty little mind of yours?”

  I blushed underneath his compliment before I spooned another piece of pasta between my lips.

  “Just the work I still gotta get done while I’m here,” I said.

  “Care to think in the tub?” he asked. “I bet you could get some mean thinkin’ done while you’re body is all soaped up and you’re getting a massage from a devilishly handsome man.”

  “What? You ordering me a stripper?” I asked.

  “Oh. It hurts. The pain. I’m bleeding!”

  I giggled with him before I stood up and left my plate of half-eaten food behind me. I grabbed Kevin’s hand and led him away from the kitchen, our stomachs nowhere near full as the two of us walked up the steps. He released my hand before he planted them onto my swaying hips, no doubt watching my ass while I walked up the stairs, and we made our way into his bedroom this time for our bath.

  I could lose myself in a bubble bath with him tonight.

  After all, work wasn’t going to call on me until tomorrow morning.

  Chapter 27

  Tina

  “Hey, Tina! How are things going over there?”

  I called Maddie just to check on things back home, but the cheeriness in her voice settled my nerves. I knew I shouldn’t leave her there alone anymore than I needed to, but Kevin’s offer of me staying and exploring a bit more was incredibly tempting.

  “Finally wrapped up, did you see the interview?” I asked.

  “I did, but I can only imagine the work you had to put in to get that fucking job done,” she said. “Way to go for wrangling that senator.”

  “I need a raise,” I said breathlessly.

  “If I could give it to you, I would,” she said.

  I sighed into the phone before I pinched the bridge of my nose. What would Maddie think of me as a businesswoman if I told her I was staying a few extra days? She’s had to field that office, and with us approaching election year there would be plenty of work for us to do.

  “Alright, Tina. Spit it out. What’s going on? Did Kevin fuck something up? Do I need to come get you? Should I sic Spencer on him?”

  “Christ, Maddie. No. I just-”

  “Look, you’ve been very stressed around here,” she said. “Why don’t you just take the weekend and stay with Kevin? Let him pamper you or whatever the hell he does when you’re there.”

  “I can’t because I gotta get back to work there,” I said.

  “So, you called to sigh in my ear and then tell me you were coming home? I already knew that. You could’ve done that in a text message. Why did you call, Tina?”

  “Who the hell pooped in your coffee?” I asked.

  “No one, but I’m tired of watching you do this to yourself. You get it in your mind that you have to be here to work all the time to prove yourself as a businesswoman when you already have. And then, you don’t even take the time to enjoy the perks of owning your own business, which is working whenever the fuck you want,” she said.

  “I can’t just not work, Maddie,” I said. “You wouldn’t get paid if I didn’t work.”

  “And I wouldn’t get paid if I didn’t work, either. Look, no tragedies have happened while you were gone. I fielded the paperwork and I did set up one meeting, but that shit isn’t until Tuesday,” she said.

  “Meeting? What meeting? What happened?” I asked.

  “Nothing. Not with a senator or a future president or anyone else running for anything. It’s just with the accountant,” she said.

  “Oh. Oh, alright.”

  “Don’t seemed so shocked, bosswoman. I have more talents than just speed reading. I can actually hold down the fort here so you can enjoy a bit of life,” she said. “I’m not incompetent.”

  “
I wouldn’t of hired you if I thought you were,” I said.

  “So, how are things going with Kevin?” she asked. “Are you indulging in all those wicked things you were reading about?”

  “Actually…” I trailed off.

  “Oh. Holy. Fuck. Wait, were we right? Is Kev a dom? Does he do all that nasty shit we looked up? Girl, did he hook you up to a fucking cross again?”

  “Maddie, Maddie, Maddie. Slow down,” I said, giggling. “We’re just… exploring.”

  “Oh, my god. You’re tapping into your submissive side!” she shrieked.

  “How do you know I’m a submissive! Maybe I’m the dom,” I said.

  “Hell no. With the way you repress Kev like you do and the way you control your business, he’s definitely the dom and you're definitely the sub.”

  “I don’t repress Kevin. Do I…?”

  “Woman, I’ve seen that man eyefuck you from across a church hallway. A man like him wouldn’t do that shit if you were layin’ him right,” she said. “But don’t let it make you feel bad, it’s just how you are.”

  “What the hell does that mean?” I asked.

  “You don’t like giving your power over to people. You think they’ll manipulate you with it or lord it over your head for favors or something like that. I used to be the same way. I thought that if someone gave me something I wanted without working for it, then they’d use it as leverage whenever they wanted a favor from me,” she said.

  “But Kev doesn’t give me anything like that,” I said.

  “Because you won’t let him. Girl, that man would give you the fucking world on his dick if it meant you’d be happy. But, you won’t let him because you think he’ll lord it over your head to get you to do all sorts of nasty stuff and shit.”

  I mulled her words over in my head for awhile before I found my voice to speak. She had a very serious point, and I felt a bit backed into a corner. Between the realities Kevin was hitting me with and the reality she had just slapped across my cheek, I felt the breath being knocked from my lungs.

  “Tina, walk me through what’s happening. I can hear your breathing picking up,” she said.

  “Have I been… abusing Kevin?” I asked.

  “Not in the slightest. You’re just holding him at arm's length. But, it sounds like you’re slowly letting him creep into her grasp. Which is a good thing. Which means you should stay through the weekend.”

  “Maddie, I don’t-”

  “For the love of fuck, stay, Tina!”

  I recognized that voice and I heard Maddie shush him in the background. I felt my back stiffen and my blood run cold, wondering how the hell I didn’t hear it before now.

  “Maddie,” I said. “Tell me that’s not Spencer.”

  “Then… it’s not Spencer!” she said.

  “Holy fuck, Spencer’s with you. Am I on speakerphone? Can he hear me!?”

  “Her phone’s just cranked up loud as shit, Tee. No worries,” Spencer said.

  “No worries! Are you nuts!?” I shrieking.

  “Are things going well with you and Kev?” he asked.

  “Give me back to Maddie,” I said.

  “I’m serious. We all know about his dom side. You indulging in it at all?” he asked.

  “Wait a second… you know about Kevin!?”

  “We all do, except for you. Well, not anymore, but it was except for you until you went to stay with him. Maddie told me about the research. What’s he like? I’ve always wondered-”

  “Put your fucking girlfriend back on the phone, Spence,” I said.

  “Look, Tina, don’t be mad. I was just… excited for you! And I just sort of blabbed it to Spencer. But, it’s not a big deal! Apparently, they all knew about this side of him and it was just a matter of time before he showed you.”

  I groaned and lobbed my head back before I sat down onto the edge of my bed. I couldn’t believe how this had so quickly spiraled out of control, and now I didn’t want to go home. I wanted to coop myself up in a bed somewhere far away-- maybe on my island or something-- where no one and nothing could get to me.

  “Holy fuck,” I said, groaning. “Maddie, Spencer’s got a fucking big mouth. Now everyone’s gonna know about this.”

  “Look, they all knew about Kevin’s dominant side and his… sexual preferences. It was just a matter of time once you guys left the island together when he came clean with it. I promise you, nothing’s wrong. No one thinks any less of you, and you really should stay for the weekend. If anything so you can screw your head on straight before you get home.”

  “Sounds like something Kev would wanna try,” Spencer said.

  “Can it, turd,” I said.

  “Look, stay. I’m serious. I’ll lock you out of the office all weekend if you don’t. I’ve got a locksmith on speed dial ready to change those fucking babies if you get on a damn plane,” she said.

  “Plus, I’ll tell Brady and Brit all about him strapping you down and beating you with wet noodles if you don’t,” Spencer said.

  “He didn’t beat me with wet pasta, Spence,” I said.

  “Oh, my god. He tied you down! Tell me all about it!” Maddie squealed.

  “Told you I could make her admit it,” Spencer said.

  I tried to but in, but that’s when I saw Kevin round the corner and step into my room. The look on his face was a bit confused, but when he turned his phone towards me I felt my face grow white.

  “Why is Brady sending me a text message asking about our leather-and-lace tryst?” he asked.

  “Spencer!” I yelled. “I’m gonna fucking kill you!”

  “Not if you don’t come home!” he yelled.

  I heard some shuffling on the other end of the line before Maddie finally got back on the phone. I could feel my blood boiling with embarrassment as I put my head in my free hand, but Kevin was smirking out of the corner of my eye while he typed a message back to Brady.

  “Well, since it’s obviously not a secret anymore,” Maddie said, “you really should stay.”

  “Tina?” Kevin asked.

  “Yeah?”

  “Brady’s calling. You want me to pick it up?” he asked.

  “I don’t give a shit what you do. Our cover’s been blown,” I said.

  “Well, I didn’t really have a cover. It’s sort of you who does. Well, did. I won’t pick it up if you don’t-”

  “Just pick up the damn phone, Kev!” I yelled.

  My mind wafted back to the statement Maddie made a little while ago in our conversation. How I repressed Kevin and kept him at arm’s length, and I felt tears crest my eyes as Kevin walked out of view.

  “Shit,” I breathed.

  “I didn’t think doms listened to their subs,” Spencer said in the background.

  “Shut the fuck up, Spence,” Maddie said, whispering. “Just… get out for a bit. Go. Shoo.”

  I felt my wall crumbling around me. Everything I had been trying to control was being ripped from my grasp, and I didn’t know how to deal with it anymore. The business ran just fine without me, everyone knew about my scandalous sexual trysts with Kevin, they all knew about his dominant side before I did apparently, and I was about to be thrust into the busiest time of the year for my business.

  And I wouldn’t be able to control a damn thing that happened because we weren’t taking on clients right now in order to prepare.

  “I’m gonna kill Spencer,” I said, sniffling.

  “You can kill him after you get back from your weekend. But, Tina?”

  “Yeah?”

  “No one thinks you’re a bad person. You think you’re a bad person, but you’re not. You’re closed off and a loner, yes, but you’re not closed off because you’re an ice queen,” she said.

  “Then why am I closed off, Maddie? Why did I just yell at the one man who’s shown me nothing but kindness and tenderness my entire life?”

  “Because time and time again, you’ve attempted to open yourself up to-- and blend in with-- the world. And, time and
time again, the people you encountered continued to disappoint you. You deal with it in your career all the time: politicians we are supposed to trust are snorting tainted cocaine off homeless strippers assholes and cheating on their spouses and being caught in treasonous acts, and they come to you for help. You see the worst in them every single day, and it makes you withdraw because if you are pulling their strings, who’s to say someone isn’t pulling Kevin’s?”

  “I need to go apologize to him,” I said.

  “Promise me you’ll stay,” she said.

  “Maddie, I-”

  “You don’t have to indulge in sex or explore or anything like that. But, you need to take some time and really digest things. I’ve thrown a lot at you in this conversation, and if you’ve really been exploring with Kevin, then you’ve probably got a lot to think about there, too. Just… take the damn time, Tina. Not because we don’t need you, but because you have needs that we can’t fulfill here. And that’s alright,” she said.

  “See? I knew you weren’t incompetent,” I said, snickering.

  “Now, go run yourself a nice bath or hop on Kevin’s dick or eat a massive cinnamon roll ass naked in your bed and take some time for you,” she said.

  “Or do all three at once!” Spencer shouted in the background.

  “Alright, alright. I’ll stay. But remind Spencer, I’m killing him when he gets back.”

  “Duly noted. I’ll sex him out before you come in here wielding a shotgun,” she said.

  “Talk to you soon,” I said.

  I hung up the phone and wiped at my face before I turned and headed for the door. But, I didn’t have to go far, because by the time I stood to my feet Kevin was already standing in the doorway of my room again.

  “Kevin, I-”

  “No need to apologize,” he said. “Though, I did just get off the phone with a very intrigued and curious Brady.”

  “And how’s our little pukey wine producer?” I asked.

  “Very curious,” he said.

  “So… I have a question,” I said.

  “Yes, you can stay as long as you’d like,” he said.

  “Did you hear-?”

  “No, I just know you well enough to know what you’re battling, and you’re welcome here as long as you’d like to stay,” he said.