Third Chances

by Smoak, Ivy

  "We can totally play that, if that's what you want, James," Kristen said way too seductively for normal conversation.

  Rob leaned toward me. "Has everyone at this table lost their minds, or is it just me?"

  I laughed. "I was just thinking the same thing. Your friends are very interesting."

  "My friends? What about your friends?"

  I laughed again. My eyes wandered to his mouth. His smile was so charming. And I couldn't help but think about how his lips felt on mine. The kisses we had shared had been some of the best of my life. Maybe Rob was right. Maybe there should be more passion in a relationship than I realized. His smile broadened when he noticed I was staring at his mouth. I cleared my throat and looked away from him. Kristen gave me a not so subtle thumbs up from across the table.

  "I'll go first," James said. "Let me think. No! Actually someone else go first. I can't think of anything right now." He wiped a bead of sweat off his forehead.

  Something was definitely off with him. It was almost like he had taken something to make him all hyper. I frowned. Was he on cocaine? The thought made my stomach twist into knots.

  "James, are you feeling okay?" I asked.

  "I'm swell. You go first!"

  "Oh, um..." I tried to think of some funny facts about myself. All I wanted to do was tell him that I felt it too. That I loved the feeling of rain on my skin and his hand in mine. But I couldn't do that in front of all these people. Everything else that popped into my head was just super lame.

  "I'll go first," Alina said, saving me. She gave me a small smile. Alina was never very outgoing either, so I appreciated the gesture more than she even knew. "I'm about to get married to the love of my life. I can play guitar. And I only have one major regret."

  "You're definitely lying about getting married to the love of your life," Matt said.

  Alina laughed awkwardly. "No, that's true. It's really, really true."

  "It is," Kristen said. "Just mentioning Bryce's name makes her giddy like a school girl. See, look at her face right now."

  Alina was smiling. She grabbed her drink and took a sip, clearly embarrassed.

  I glanced at Rob out of the corner of my eye, but immediately looked away. He was staring right at me. We had both just talked about what love meant to us and how neither of us had experienced it yet. Was that why he was looking at me? Was that why I had looked at him?

  "Cheers to that," James said and lifted up his glass. "And this guy right here is about to be in the same boat as us. He's proposing to his girlfriend soon." He slapped Mason on the back.

  "What the fuck, man?" Mason said. "You promised you wouldn't tell anyone."

  "I haven't told anyone. I haven't even told Penny. Which has been really hard, because we don't keep secrets from each other. Besides, we don't know these people."

  I was pretty sure he meant to whisper the last line. He had said it a little quieter, but his normal speaking voice seemed strangely loud tonight.

  "Layla knows her." Matt gestured to Layla who was sitting beside him.

  Layla put her hands up. "I swear I won't tell Bee. Your secret is safe with me."

  "Still," Mason said. "Stop trying to ruin the surprise." He laughed and lightly pushed James' shoulder.

  James shrugged. "Anyway, Alina, you're lying about only having one regret. We all saw that it was more than that."

  Alina's eyes got wide. If the restaurant wasn't busy around us, we would have been able to hear crickets chirping. "No," she said quietly. "I, um, lump that all together as one bad decision."

  "Oh, sorry. You're lying about the guitar thing then?"

  Alina nodded her head. "Yeah. I'm terrible with musical instruments."

  "Really?" Matt asked. "I would have guessed you'd know your way around, say, a flute or a clarinet pretty well."

  Alina choked on the sip she had just taken.

  Rob laughed. "Did you seriously just compare your dick to a flute? Is it like super thin or something?"

  "No," Matt said. "Shut up, you've seen my dick. It's normal. It's not thin."

  "Wait." I laughed and looked up at Rob. "Why have you seen his penis?"

  Rob shrugged. "I don't know. We all grew up together."

  "Now I just have to know," Kristen said, staring directly at James. "Who is the biggest?"

  James looked away from her and downed the rest of his beer. He picked his straw up from the table and put it in his other drink. He swirled it around, seemingly transfixed.

  "We weren't erect around each other or anything," Rob said. "But everyone knows that the Hunters have huge dicks."

  "Oh, really?" Kristen winked at me.

  Don't fucking wink at me!

  "So," she continued, "how big are we talking?" She stared directly at James who made a weird face.

  "Not as big as the Caldwells'," Mason said.

  James laughed.

  "Why are you laughing?" Mason said.

  "I just feel like I'm probably bigger than you are."

  "Prove it," Kristen said.

  "As much as I know you'd like that, I'm not going to whip my dick out in the middle of a restaurant. I'll keep public nudity off my rap sheet."

  "I definitely wouldn't mind you doing that." She batted her eyelashes at him.

  Oh my God, Kristen.

  "Don't you have a boyfriend?" James asked. "I'm pretty sure you literally just mentioned your boyfriend."

  "Yeah, but you're on my list."

  "Your list?"

  "Yeah, my list. You know, like a list of people we're allowed to have sex with outside of our relationship. You're at the very top of mine, Professor Hunter."

  Oh my God.

  James lowered his eyebrows slightly. He looked pissed. "Please call me James. And as flattering as that is, I'm getting married. And I don't have a list because I don't want one. I would never cheat on my fiancée. She's everything that I need."

  "Right, but maybe...ow!"

  Layla had just elbowed Kristen in the ribs. Kristen glared at her.

  "You're up, Matt," Rob said.

  I silently thanked him. It was nice of him to intervene to help his brother out. If I had been sitting next to Kristen, I would have elbowed her a few minutes ago.

  "I'm kind of liking this conversation," Matt said and looked back and forth between Kristen and James. "You know, Kristen," he said, putting his arm behind her on the chair. "You could always add me to your list. I promise my dick is much thicker than a flute."

  She laughed. "I'm not prepared to kick James off quite yet. But I'll keep that in mind."

  "Please kick me off," James grumbled beside me.

  I laughed.

  He looked over at me and smiled. His smile was just as charming as his brothers, but I was too busy staring at his eyes to focus on it. His pupils were dilated. It wasn't dark in the restaurant. His pupils shouldn't have been that big.

  "Hey, are you sure you're okay?" I whispered.

  He gave me a small smile. "I'm good. Just a little overheated." He rolled up his sleeves even more. "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"

  "It's a little warm, I guess." If he was on drugs, he was trying to hide it. Or maybe he didn't know. Maybe someone had slipped him something. I had a fleeting thought that it was Kristen. But she hadn't been alone with him. And even though she was acting completely inappropriate, I couldn't imagine her drugging James. That would be crazy. Kristen wasn't crazy. Was she? I looked over at her. She was staring down at the table. She looked a little embarrassed about her onslaught. It definitely wasn't her. Or maybe she was just planning how to proposition him next.

  "Okay," Matt said, removing his arm from the back of Kristen's chair. "My dick is thicker than a flute, even when it's flaccid." Everyone laughed. "Stop laughing," he mumbled. "I can break dance. And I'm really into working out."

  Rob laughed. "You're lying about working out."

  "Yup. Working out is the worst."

  "So, you can actually break dance?" Alina asked.

>   "Yeah, I'm a great break dancer."

  "Really?"

  "Maybe I can show you a few moves later."

  She laughed. "Bryce would love it if I came home knowing how to break dance."

  Matt shook his head, clearly defeated by the women on either side of him.

  "Well," Kristen said. "I hate Justin Bieber so much that it hurts. I love Disney movies. And I have a crush on my professor."

  "Jesus Christ," James said under his breath. "Does she ever let up?"

  I laughed. "No. She's been obsessed with you ever since you walked onto campus."

  "Yeah. I had my suspicions. How do I make her stop?"

  "Seduce her?"

  James frowned. "I'm not going to..."

  "I'm just kidding," I said, cutting him off. "I know you wouldn't do that. Just try to ignore her." I was actually really impressed about how nice of a guy James was. He clearly would never cheat on Penny even when a girl was throwing herself at him. And it wasn't like Kristen wasn't attractive. She was gorgeous. Guys would kill to sleep with her. But James was so sweet. Even when he was clearly on drugs. I looked over at Rob. Was Rob that good of a guy? Was he sweet? If we started dating, would he cheat on me?

  "Are you lying about Disney movies?" Layla asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

  "No. I really do love Disney movies."

  "You're lying about the Biebs," Matt said.

  "Yeah, I actually love him. He's on my list too." She winked at James, who looked the other way.

  "How the fuck do I get on this list?" Matt said.

  Kristen laughed.

  "Well, I love the Biebs too," Layla said. "I've eaten an entire medium sized pizza by myself. And when I was little, I wanted to grow up and be an actress."

  "You're lying about the pizza," Mason said.

  "Nope. You'd be surprised by how much I can eat."

  Mason laughed. "I do know how much you enjoy things in your mouth, Layla. That's kind of how we were introduced in the first place." He smiled.

  She laughed. "You're so bad."

  "Speaking of Ethan, how is he doing?"

  "Really? That's you're segue? He's great, though. Thanks for asking."

  "Good. Then you're lying about wanting to be an actress?"

  "Yup. I always wanted to be a meteorologist."

  "Such a serious little kid."

  Layla laughed. "I guess so."

  "Okay, well I don't love Justin Bieber like you ladies, but I do like the idea of him," Mason said.

  "What does that even mean?" Rob asked.

  Mason shrugged. "That's up to you guys to determine. I also got a perfect score on the SATs. And I like to nap after sex."

  "You're lying about the weird loving the idea of the Biebs thing," Rob said.

  "Nope. I really do love the idea of him."

  "You're so weird."

  "No, I think it makes sense," I said. "I don't really love his music, but he has a few catchy songs. And he was discovered on YouTube right? That's pretty cool. He went from nothing to stardom like that," I said and snapped my fingers. "And little girls swoon all over him. It's a pretty awesome life."

  "You totally get me, Daphne," Mason said with a smirk.

  I laughed. I liked Rob's friends. And I really liked Rob. All the red flags were starting to disappear. None of that mattered. The more I thought about it, the more I thought Rob was right. I had been putting passion on the backburner. But I liked this feeling. I wanted to indulge in it. I smiled at him.

  "That makes you weird too," Rob whispered.

  "Then apparently you like weird girls."

  "I guess so. I certainly like you." He put his arm behind me on the chair again, this time resting his hand on my shoulder. The feeling of his skin against mine sent chills down my spine. He started slowly making circles with his thumb.

  "You're lying about the napping after sex thing," James said.

  "Precisely," Mason said. "After sex, I just have more sex."

  James groaned. "Ugh, I miss Penny."

  "Don't mind him, ladies, he's just incredibly horny."

  James' eyes got huge. "Why the fuck would you tell them that? Especially her," he unsubtly nodded his head toward Kristen.

  I tried to hide my laugh.

  "Me?" Mason asked. "You just groaned about missing Penny after I talked about sex and a few minutes ago you went on and on about how she won't have sex with you before the wedding."

  "I did not. I would never talk about my private life in public."

  "Um...you kind of did, man. Sorry."

  James folded his arms across his chest. "Shit, is it my turn?"

  "You chose the game," Mason said with a laugh. "You must have had something in mind to say."

  "Not really."

  "I don't mind hearing about your private life at all, James," Kristen said. "Tell us some truths about that."

  "Do you mind going, Daphne?" James said. "And you can come back to me at the end?" His face was starting to get red and he looked even sweatier.

  "Yeah, no problem." I looked over at Rob, but immediately looked away. His eyes on me made me nervous. His fingers on my shoulder were distracting enough. "I was my high school valedictorian."

  Kristen groaned.

  Apparently I hadn't thought of anything exciting during my extra time to think. I bit my lip. I wanted something sexy to say. "I have never dyed my hair." Why did I think that was sexy to say? "And I'm looking for a serious relationship because I feel like I'm missing something in my life." Well, that definitely wasn't sexy to say. I'm so bad at this game.

  Rob stopped making circles on my shoulder with his thumb.

  Crap, I freaked him out.

  "Well," he said. "You seem very intelligent, so I don't doubt that you were valedictorian. And I wouldn't blame you at all for feeling like something is missing in your life. Especially with all your friends in relationships. I'm kind of feeling the same way myself. So, what color did you dye your hair?" He smiled at me.

  I didn't need to wonder anymore if Rob was as sweet as James. He was so nice. And such a gentleman. At least when he wasn't trying to finger me under the table. "I dyed it red so that I could be Poison Ivy for Halloween a few years ago. It was just temporary dye."

  James groaned again.

  "What, did Penny dress up as Poison Ivy for Halloween one year?" Rob asked. "She'd kill that outfit too."

  James looked down at his hands. "Yeah. Not for me, though. I mean, I think she bought the outfit for me. But we had broken up. She wore it for Tyler. She looked so beautiful."

  I almost wanted to cry at the expression of agony on his face. I hadn't meant to upset him. Every part of me wanted to reach out and hug him. But he was a stranger to me. I couldn't just do that. Really, I should be getting him a glass of water from the bar to get out whatever was in his system. It was making him a mess. He was happy and loud one second and then depressed and quiet the next. What the hell was he on?

  "Her friend Tyler?" Mason asked. "Tyler Stevens? The one Bee and her hang out with all the time?"

  "Yeah, that one."

  "Wait, have they ever been together?"

  "I don't want to talk about it."

  "James, have they slept together?"

  "What difference does it make?"

  "It makes a huge difference," Mason said. "How can you let her hang out with him if they've slept together?"

  "Because I trust her."

  "Do you trust him?"

  "Tyler is a good guy. I don't know. He wouldn't hurt her. It was just one time a few years ago. He wouldn't hurt her," he repeated. His words were slightly slurred now.

  "But..."

  Rob cleared his throat. "It's my turn, right? Let's see." He looked down at me and smiled. "I'm sick of having one night stands. I spend more time in hotels, hostels, and friends' couches than I do in my apartment. And I've visited almost 20 countries."

  I looked up at him. That pretty much summed up the difference between us. Rob Hunter lived. He trave
led. He had fun. And I just let life pass me by each day. My routine was rarely ever broken. I was envious of his life. I wanted to grab his hand and never let go. I wanted him to teach me how to live.

  "Take a guess, Daphne," he said with a smile.

  "I hope that you're sick of one night stands. And I know you travel a lot. So I'm going to guess that you're lying about the number of countries you've been to. It's probably way more than 20."

  "Yeah, it's closer to double that."

  I just stared at him in disbelief. I had never left the country until this trip. My grand total was now two. "You're kind of amazing."

  "I will take that adjective any day."

  "So back to you, James," Kristen said. "Let's hear some more personal facts about you."

  "Fine," he sighed. "You want to hear some of my private confessions?" He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. It didn't look like he had improved from the conversation about one of Penny's exes at all. "Sometimes I have a hard time falling asleep at night because I'm worried I'll wake up and Penny will be gone, as if I just imagined being this happy, and my life will be dark again. And I can't go back to what I was. That fear consumes me. I need her. I need her so much that it scares me." He ran his hand through his hair. "And at the same time...sometimes I feel guilty for seducing Penny in the first place. It was my responsibility as her professor to keep her safe and I crossed the line. And I feel like I shouldn't be allowed to be happy when I broke the rules. Like I cheated fate. That guilt eats at me too. That I should have been better. She deserves the best. And what if that is Tyler? What if I ruined her life?" He looked down at the table.

  "James." Rob's voice sounded pained. "You know that isn't true. Penny wants to be with you."

  "No, that's one of my truths. Oh crap, I need a third thing, right? I don't know...I hate dirty dishes in the sink."

  Everyone was silent.

  "No one has a guess? I don't care about dirty dishes. That was my lie. My wonderful maid takes care of them. And Penny sometimes. Because she's still not used to having a maid and she feels bad making her do anything. She's so sweet." He loosened his tie. "Why is it so fucking hot in here?"

  Matt started laughing. I glanced at him and then back at James. Matt winked at me. Of course it was Matt. They had walked off together to the bar. I leaned over to Rob and put my hand on his thigh. I hadn't meant it to be sexual, but I could almost feel the heat in the stare he gave me. I immediately removed my hand. "Sorry. I just...this is going to sound strange," I whispered. "And I don't know your brother very well, but he seems different tonight than he did earlier. Kind of all over the place actually. He's slurring his words. His pupils are dilated. He's overheated. I think that maybe someone slipped something in his drink? And I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be presumptuous at all, but by the way Matt is laughing, I feel like maybe he did it? They walked over to the bar together and..."