by Tia Siren
It was that domineering personality that made me want to swoon. I stepped away from him, needing to get control of my racing libido. He stepped toward me. I ended up with the wall against my back and his chest pressed against my breasts.
His blue eyes were the color of steel as he gazed down at me. “I’m going to prove to you that we are meant for each other. I know what I want, Mia, and it’s you. I’m not so easily defeated. You can’t chase me away with a few harsh words. When I want something, I take it. You want me too; I know it, and I’m going to show you how bad. It may take some time, but I’ll wait.”
He stepped away from me, leaving me panting. I watched as he picked up his bag, then stopped at the small table in the entryway. He reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a key, held it up, and put it on the table.
“What’s that?” I asked, suddenly worried he had somehow managed to get a copy of my house key.
“It’s the key to my apartment. I’ll text you my address. You are free to visit me anytime you like. I hope you will come out and see me sometime,” he said. Then he walked out the door.
I stared at his back and watched him walk out of my life for a second time. I had an urge to stop him, to tell him I had changed my mind, but I stopped myself. I hadn’t really changed my mind. I was a rational person, and I knew deep down that no matter how good the sex was or how much I enjoyed hanging out with him, his proposal would never work. We were two different people.
Despite my declaration that I would never see him again, I walked over and picked up the key before sliding it into the side pocket of my purse.
I packed up my laptop and headed for work. I was glad I had a packed schedule today. I had to keep my mind off Brad. The cab driver tried to make conversation. I couldn’t. I wasn’t in the mood. When we finally made it to my office building, I crawled out of the cab with a serious lack of enthusiasm. I dragged my ass to the elevator, dreading the day.
The receptionist at the front desk looked at me and grinned. “How was your long weekend?”
“Fine,” I snapped before walking through the double doors that led to my office.
I hoped to God no one else asked me about the weekend. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to even think about it, and I hoped I could simply erase it from my memory. I flopped down at my desk and looked at the clock. He would be boarding his flight right now.
I stared out the window, having no energy to open my laptop and start working. I grabbed the schedule sheet off my desk and read it, groaning at all the things I had to do today. All I wanted to do was curl up on my couch and pout.
There was no reason for being in such a mood. I had brought it all on myself. It had been my choice to send him off like I had. It had been my choice to sleep alone on his last night in town. A commotion outside my door drew my attention. I stood, walked to my door, and looked at the area where a number of cubicles were situated.
“Shit,” I mumbled when I saw a bouquet of pink and blue balloons. That could only mean one thing.
“What’s going on?” I asked one of the women walking down the hallway.
“Jordan just announced she’s pregnant,” she answered.
I didn’t know Jordan, but I hated her. I hated that she was happy. I hated her for being pregnant. I walked to the cubicle that had been decorated with a variety of baby gear and did my best to appear happy for her.
“Congratulations,” I said with forced cheerfulness. “When are you due?”
The young woman, Jordan, was absolutely beaming when she looked at me. “In five months, October.”
I nodded as if that meant something to me. “That’s great,” I said with a smile.
I looked at Jordan and decided she had to be in her early twenties. She was the same age I had been when Brad had walked away from me. Someone else appeared out of nowhere carrying a cake with pink and blue icing.
I wanted to smash the cake against the wall. Instead, I politely stood around the cubicle with the rest of the office staff and pretended to be happy for the expecting mom as I ate the dry white cake. Once I felt I had stayed long enough to be polite, I made my excuses and left the little gathering.
Once I got back to my office, I closed the door and flopped down in my chair. I rested my forehead on my desk, wishing I had never come in to work. I could have gone the rest of my life without having seen Jordan’s joy and excitement.
I was nearly thirty-five. My biological clock was beating against a gong inside my head. I had never meant to not have children, but life had other plans. My career and a serious lack of good men in the city had teamed up with fate and left me alone and childless. I thought back to the man who had been in my apartment that morning. He was probably my last chance at having children, and I had blown it. I had sent him packing with a firm denial.
I could practically feel my ovaries shriveling as I thought about the things I had said to Brad. There was no way he was going to come back to me. I had made certain of that.
Chapter Twenty-One
Brad
My day at the beach was supposed to help me forget about New York. It didn’t work. I was cranky as hell, and everything and everyone was pissing me off. Mia had thrown a serious wrench into my life plans. Every time I thought about her kicking me out of her bed, my mind jumped right to the part where I was in her bed, inside her. I knew she wanted me. Maybe I could settle for some cross-country affair. Jump on a plane, jump on her, then jump back home.
“Dammit!” I groaned as the elevator doors slid open. The older woman riding up with me glared. “Sorry. I, uh, just remembered I left the stove on,” I mumbled.
Being back home wasn’t what I’d planned it to be. I’d had the idea I was going to be coming home an engaged man, but I wasn’t. Not even close. Mia was one stubborn woman. I could tell she cared about me, and I had apologized about a hundred times for what had happened in the past. It just wasn’t enough. I thought I had adequately groveled. Apparently not, considering I was sitting in LA all alone. She’d been so pissed. I hadn’t expected that at all. I had thought I might have to convince her, but I hadn’t expected a flat-out no without a discussion, especially after we’d had such a great time together.
I checked my phone, but there was still no message from her. I had sent her several, hoping to get a response. She had cut me out of her life, but my mind refused to accept defeat. I felt like shit as I walked into the station. I wasn’t in the mood to do my usual show. I just didn’t have it in me. I didn’t have a guest today, which meant it was all me. I had a show all planned, but it did not appeal to me now, not in my current mood.
Normally, that wouldn’t be a problem. It was easy to fake a good mood when no one could see you. I didn’t have to smile or look like I gave a shit. I was a practiced smooth talker. But despite all my training and experience, I couldn’t seem to find the enthusiasm to go through with my normal routine. Tonight, all I wanted to talk about was Mia.
An idea sprang to mind. I could do exactly that. I needed some sound advice. My listeners would tell me what I should do. It would be putting myself out there, but I didn’t care. I was desperate. There was a chance Mia would catch the show as well. It was slim, but it was a chance, and that was all I could hope for.
I settled into the booth, looked at my producer, and grinned. A look of fear cross his face. He knew I was about to go way off script. He shook his head. I winked, telling him it would be okay by giving him a thumbs-up.
“Good evening, listeners. We’re going to do something a little different tonight. We’re turning the tables. Instead of me spewing my words of wisdom, I need some input from all of you. It’s like this, folks: I’ve got girl problems,” I said to start the show.
The producer was shaking his head on the other side of the glass, telling me to stop. But I couldn’t—not now. I had a feeling my loyal listeners would like the chance to know me a little better anyway. I talked a lot about my fitness and health. Why not talk to them about s
omething a bit more personal? Still, that persistent niggle of doubt in the back of my mind was telling me to shut my mouth and stick with the program. I ignored it.
“I need some help, guys. There’s a woman. No, let me clarify. Not a woman, the woman. She just happens to be the most stubborn woman in the world. She loves me. I know that without a doubt. The problem is, she doesn’t know it.”
Within seconds, the switchboard was lighting up, and I hoped it was some good advice coming in. I was grasping at straws at this point and was willing to do just about anything.
The first call was patched through.
“What do you have for me?” I asked, hopeful I was about to be given the key to Mia’s heart.
“She’s just not that into you,” a man’s voice said.
I burst into laughter. “Well, that was blunt.”
The guy had already hung up.
When I looked up at my producer, he was smiling broadly. This was payback. Of all the calls, he had deliberately chosen that one to give me. I flipped him the bird.
“Help me out, guys,” I begged my listeners.
When given the signal to take another call, I steeled myself for more harsh words.
“Be nice,” I said, answering the call.
“Woo her. Show her how much you love her. Guys always think they can steamroll their way into everything,” a woman said on the other end of the phone.
“What do you mean woo?” I asked, genuinely curious.
She laughed. “That’s the problem. You don’t know how to woo.”
“I’m at your mercy,” I said.
My producer was laughing. The switchboard was completely lit up, so clearly my love troubles were very exciting.
The calls ranged from offers to soothe my broken heart to some rather rude suggestions about what I should do. By the end of the show, I wasn’t feeling like I had any really good ideas about how to convince Mia she loved me, but I’d had a lot of good laughs, which had helped lift my mood somewhat. I hoped I had provided some comic relief for the rest of the country. It was only a little embarrassing that they were laughing at me.
I was sitting in my office still thinking about Mia when Jaxon pushed open my door.
“What the hell?” he growled.
“What?” I asked.
“That was embarrassing for me,” he said. “You must be feeling like a complete idiot. Are you drunk?”
I laughed. “I’m desperate, man, not drunk. Maybe I need to be drunk.”
“No shit. That came across loud and clear. You sounded like a lovesick teenager.”
I shrugged a shoulder. I didn’t care that I had lost all my dignity and self-respect. “I’m a lovesick adult. Same thing.”
“You’ll be happy to hear there are about a hundred women who left their names and numbers, all offering to help heal your broken heart. More than one said she would love to accept your proposal,” he said. “How is it you make a fool out of yourself and you still come out smelling like a rose? It’s like you can do no wrong. I think I hate you.”
“Thanks. Unlike you, I’m not going to be satisfied just jumping into bed with some random woman. I want her.”
“That isn’t going to happen, so get over it. You know what I always say: the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”
“You’re an idiot.”
He grinned. “Why her? Why can’t you let her go? Seriously, let’s go out. We’ll have some drinks and I’ll make sure you get laid. You won’t think about Lola at all.”
“Mia,” I corrected.
“Lola, Mia, who cares? You just need a good woman. Then you won’t care anymore either.”
I rubbed my eyes. “I don’t suppose you actually have anything helpful to offer?” I asked, not all that amused.
“No. I don’t think there’s any help for your problem. It’s a problem of your own making. Let it go. Seriously, it’s painful. Like, you woke up one day and decided you wanted to make your life hell. Why? Why can’t you go back to being the old Brad? You had a minor midlife crisis. It’s over. End of story.”
I shrugged. “I don’t like the old Brad. I want to be different. I’m bored, and I need more. It wasn’t a crisis—it was an epiphany.”
“Fine. Let me give you some advice. You’re trying too hard. You came on too strong. Back off a bit. You’ve got to play hard to get. You just put it all out there and you didn’t leave her anything to chase,” he said.
I groaned. “I don’t want to do the whole cat-and-mouse thing. I don’t have time for that. I want her. She’s mine. She’s got to know that,” I insisted.
Jaxon laughed. “This isn’t the dark ages. You can’t call in a pact or offer a dowry or whatever. Let her feel wanted, but, Lord, slow down, man.”
I took a deep breath. He was right. It was a character flaw. When I wanted something, I got it. There was no waiting or negotiating.
“Fine. I’ll back off for now,” I grumbled.
“Good. I’ve got to go. Unlike you, I’m still spreading myself around.” He winked.
Sitting back in my chair, I thought about what Jaxon had said. I would back off, but I wanted to remind her I was still waiting. I decided to go old school. I sent a box of fancy chocolates to her condo with a note apologizing for being so pushy.
I hoped it would be enough to convince her to accept my wooing. I would try a more traditional approach. Obviously, the heavy-handed approach wasn’t going to work.
“You good?” Tina said, stopping by my office on her way out.
“I am.”
“You sure?” she asked with genuine concern.
I laughed. “Geez, I must have sounded pretty rough. Jaxon was concerned as well.”
She shrugged. “You aren’t one to be so open with your private life. I think you really connected with a lot of people tonight. It wasn’t a publicity stunt and wasn’t seen as such. I think you proved you are human, and that makes people feel invested in you. I hope it works out, Brad. I really do.”
“Thanks, Tina. Have a good night.”
By the time I got home, I had come up with a new plan. Mia and I had said a lot the other day, and it was only now that one of her reasons for rejecting me actually sank in. She thought I wanted her to give up her job and move to LA. She didn’t think I would move for her, so I was going to prove her wrong.
I fired up my laptop and did a search for homes in New York. I liked Mia’s condo, but I was serious about settling down and putting down roots. I quickly realized it wasn’t a house I needed to be looking for, though—it was a job. I could technically stay with Mia until we could pick out a place together. Assuming she was going to fall in love with me and my wooing, that was.
I couldn’t move there without a job, and I would go out of my mind without my career. It wasn’t easy to pick up and just move to another station on the other side of the country. I had a decent following in Los Angeles and along the West Coast, but that didn’t mean I would have the same following in New York. It was a cutthroat world. One wrong word and it could all blow up in my face. Showbiz was no joke.
For the first time, I seriously mulled over the satellite offer. It was risky. I wouldn’t have a guaranteed audience. I closed the laptop and leaned back against the couch. I was being irrational, but at least I could admit it. I was willing to give up everything I had for her, and she wouldn’t even give me the time of day.
Was I making a huge mistake? For the first time since I’d remembered the pact, I had doubts. I could be giving up everything, and all for nothing. All I needed was a little hope. If she could give me some kind of sign that she was at least considering my proposal, I would throw caution to the wind and move in at a minute’s notice. It was the rational side of me that kept me from doing just that.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Mia
“Thank you again for the chocolates. They were amazing. I’ll have to find me a rich boyfriend who will buy me expensive chocolates,” one of the girls said wi
th a giggle as she stopped me.
“You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed them,” I said with a forced smile.
Brad’s little gift had been received. It was sweet, but I couldn’t bring myself to accept it at face value. I was jaded. I kept looking for the real meaning, waiting for the other shoe to drop. The old Brad would have sent chocolates because he was a good guy. This new Brad, I wasn’t so sure of. I felt like it was a bribe, but it was going to take a lot more than chocolates to buy my hand in marriage.
The entire week had been miserable. I missed him terribly, yet I hated him at the same time. I hated that he made me crazy and hated he had ever walked back into my life. Not hated, really. That was a stretch. But I didn’t like that he had messed things up and turned my safe and predictable world into chaos.
But I wanted him. How could I despise him and want him so badly at the same time? I was a hot mess and needed to forget about him. If only it were that easy. The truth was, I couldn’t get him off my mind.
“Good morning,” I said without enthusiasm as I walked through Helga’s door.
“Oh, hey! I was just thinking about you. How could I not while I ate one of these delicious chocolates? These things should be illegal. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if they are.”
I smiled and sat down in the chair across from her desk. “I’m glad you like them.”
She shook her head. “So, you don’t like him why?”
“Because he wants to get married.”
She threw her head back and laughed. “Oh yes, that is a terrible thing. How dare he?”
I cocked my head to the side and rolled my eyes. “It’s not that easy. He can’t expect me to just run off and marry him after we’ve barely even talked in eleven years.”
“But you did talk, and I imagine there was more than talking over the weekend. You like him, right?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“I do, and you do like him. In fact, I think you may love him.”
