The Marriage Pact: A Baby Romance
Page 70
“You were a crazy bitch.” I laughed.
“Right. So if that is the thought of a non-pregnant person, you can probably assume your obsession is completely based on the chemicals going crazy in your body,” she said. “It sucks. I’m sure when I get to that point you will be talking me off a ledge every five seconds. It’s normal to be that way, or so I’ve heard from everyone over the years. You aren’t going crazy, but you do want to watch yourself so you don’t do or say something you will regret later, especially to the man who obviously loves you so much.”
“You’re right.” I sighed. “I’m so glad I have you to talk to. If I didn’t, I don’t know how I would get through all of this. I would be trapped in my own mind, making enemies out of everyone. I want this stage to pass so I can start to feel normal again.”
“You were never normal to begin with.” Whitney laughed. “Just know that I am always going to be here for you. I will always be right here, waiting for your phone call. Even when I go back to school, I’m not that far away, and I can talk to you about anything.”
“I’m going to miss you when you go back,” I said. “A lot.”
“I’ll miss you too,” she said. “But I will call you every day and make sure you are staying sane.”
“You better.” I looked down at my buzzing phone. “It’s Scott. Give me just one second.”
“Of course,” she said.
“Hello?” I said.
“Hey there, sweetie,” he said. “How is your lunch date with Whitney going?”
“Good.” I smiled. “She is the best therapist on earth.”
“Remind me to send her flowers for being such a good friend to my baby,” he said and laughed. “And for saving the day most days.”
“I know, right? How’s work?”
“It’s good, normal work, just trudging through it,” he said. “I wanted to call you and let you know that I won’t be home for dinner, but I will be home later on. I have something I have to take care of.”
“All right,” I said suspiciously. “I ordered enough Chinese for an army, so I’ll eat some leftovers.”
“I’ll have my phone on me, so if there is anything you need, just send me a text, okay?”
“I’ll be fine,” I said.
“Okay. I’ll see you later, sweetie,” he said.
“Right,” I replied, hanging up the phone.
I sat there tapping my phone against my lips, thinking about what Scott had said. It was strange that he wouldn’t be home for dinner. He always made sure to come right home after work. Whitney looked up at me and tilted her head.
“What’s up?” she asked.
I sighed. “I don’t know. That was Scott. He wanted me to know he wouldn’t be home for dinner and that he would see me later tonight. He didn’t tell me what he was going to be doing either. It’s strange because he never misses dinner.”
“I think you are over thinking it,” she said. “It could be drinks with new friends from work or dinner with the boss. Didn’t you say he was getting ready to open his hardware store?”
“Yeah,” I said.
“Maybe he’s meeting with his best friend for that,” she said. “Just talk to him when he gets home. Find out the answer before you start overthinking everything. Don’t drive yourself crazy with this, okay?”
“Yeah,” I said. “You’re right.”
There was probably a simple explanation for why he was leaving me alone for the evening, but I couldn’t help but be suspicious. In the back of mind, I worried I had made the wrong choice putting all my faith in Scott. Maybe he wasn’t ready to give up his freedom. Maybe all of this was too much for him and he needed to be away. I didn’t know what it was, but I did know that the feeling in my chest was telling me something different than the one in my head.
Chapter 37
Scott
Work ran late, and I rushed to get out of there, not wanting to be late to the meeting with Cassie’s father. He was a stickler for punctuality. I knew that well after working for him for so long. Still, the bar didn’t take long to get to, and even though I was early, I was surprised to see Mark already there, sitting at the bar sipping a glass of whiskey. He didn’t look up at me as I pulled out the stool next to him and took a seat. I was nervous to talk to him, but it was important I stayed and stood my ground with him.
“Thank you for meeting me here,” I said, putting out my hand to shake his.
“What else would I possibly have to do with my time?” he said rudely, looking down at my hand and then back at his glass. “What did you drag me all the way out here for on a Wednesday evening?”
I pulled my hand back and looked up at the bartender, ordering a beer and a shot of Jameson. Mark rolled his eyes and sipped his drink, staring up at the muted television above the bar. I waited until my drinks got there, needing some liquid courage to get out what I wanted to say. I took the shot first and chased it with a swig of my beer. I nodded to the bartender and turned slightly toward Mark, wanting him to take me seriously.
“I know you don’t want to hear this, not from me, but you need to,” I said. “I’m madly in love with Cassie. She is the woman of my dreams. I knew and she knew we were right for each other from the first moment we met, and that hasn’t changed, no matter how much you have tried to keep us away from each other. She is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with, and that has nothing to do with the baby. The baby is an added bonus, the family I’ve always wanted with the woman I love.”
I took a long sip of my beer, gathering my thoughts and giving him ample time to respond. It was obvious this was going to be a one-way conversation, and I was fine with that. In fact, it was probably better that way. I put my beer down and continued.
“We didn’t plan to get pregnant,” I said. “It wasn’t some evil plot hatched to make your life a living hell. It had nothing to do with you. We were as surprised as you were, if not more, and no one in this world can be a bigger critic of himself than me; trust me. But life is funny that way. It throws you curveballs and then sits back and waits to see how you will handle them. I should know this better than most. Life has definitely thrown me some serious curveballs, but you roll with them, and you make the best out of it.”
I chuckled, thinking about all the different ways my life had gone over the last thirty years. I used to think I would be a construction worker like my father for life, never thinking that one day I would grow up and be my own person. This was another change, but I welcomed it with open arms.
“As far as Cassie and that baby go,” I said, “I will always be there for them, for both of them. It might all be new to me, but it was once new to you, too.”
“What was?” he said in a grumble.
“Being a father,” I said. “And I know in the very pit of my soul that I will be a damn good father to this child. I know I will do everything I can to give them the opportunities I never had growing up. They will not become a child of their environment, whether it’s my environment or yours. And I know Cassie is going to be an amazing mother. There is no question in my mind. She is the most caring and wonderful woman I have ever met, and that will translate back to the baby.”
“Cassie has no idea what she is doing,” he said. “She is just a girl.”
“That’s where you are wrong,” I said. “Cassie is a strong, beautiful woman, the kind of woman any man would die to have by his side. She is strong-willed, caring, smart, and when she wants something, she doesn’t hesitate to go after it. She is capable of making her own decisions and making the best out of any situation. She isn’t a little girl anymore, Mark. She is a grown woman, and you have got to stop treating her like she is a child. You need to understand that she has grown up, and she is going to live her life whether you participate or not.”
I ordered another shot and sat there thinking about my next words. I wanted him to know that we weren’t just some young kids hanging out there in the wind, flying by the seat of our pants, that we had a plan an
d we were moving on with our lives. The bartender handed me the shot, and I took a sip.
“I have been saving up since I was sixteen years old,” I said. “I have been saving up so that I could start my own business, and it’s finally come to fruition. I will be the owner of a hardware store very soon, and after that, a chain of hardware stores. Cassie has decided that she is going to transfer to a college in Denver and finish her engineering degree, but she doesn’t want to be in construction, just like I don’t. We both are making something out of our lives, and with the company, and with my other job that I will work as long as I can, we will be financially okay. I can’t give her a mansion, not yet at least, but I can give her a good, comfortable life. I will have enough money to see her through college, to take care of our child, to buy a small home somewhere, and to settle down as a family. I know that in your world money is king. It means everything to you and to your friends, but we have something else that keeps us going, and that’s love. It might be foreign to you, but I promise it is definitely more important than any amount of money.”
I took another sip of my shot and watched his face, knowing he was hearing me but not sure if it was getting through to him. I knew there was a good chance I would leave the bar having not changed his mind in the least, but I had to try. I had to try for Cassie, and I had to try for our child. Cassie hadn’t been the same since he’d kicked us out, and I wanted her to be happy.
“Look,” I said. “I can’t make you be okay with all of this. I really can’t. I wish I could, but I know you are your own man. My hope is that you will hear me, that you will think of your daughter and your grandchild, and that you will see that being without them is not the right choice. I hope you will forgive Cassie for whatever you think she did that was so wrong. I hope you will repair your relationship with her so that you can be the grandfather our child deserves to have. I hope that you do it for them and you do it for yourself, because I know deep down, you don’t want to stay angry over this. Deep down, you want to be there for Cassie and that child.”
“Just stop,” he whispered. “That’s more than enough of a lecture from you. I’ve sat here listening to you for over twenty minutes now tell me a whole lot of things, and I have sat back and watched you fight for my daughter, pulling her into your life. You don’t need to say anything else.”
He looked up and nodded his head at the bartender, who poured him a shot and sat it in front of him. Mark asked to close out his tab and looked down at the whiskey. He picked it up and threw his head back, taking the shot and turning the glass over on the bar. He signed the credit card slip and put his card back into his pocket. I was sure he was going to get up and leave, but instead, he turned toward me and looked me straight in the eyes.
“Scott, I applaud you,” he said.
“For what?” I asked carefully.
“For not being afraid, for coming to me like a man, for telling me how it is and how it is going to be,” he said. “For standing up for Cassie and that baby.”
“That’s how it is supposed to be,” I said. “I am their protector now. It’s my job to do what is best for them.”
“You’re right.” He smiled. “The other day when the two of you came to the house, I was in shock. The last thing I expected was for my daughter to tell me she was pregnant. Flashes of my memories of her as a little girl flew through my mind, and I got scared. I got scared that she was going to make the same mistakes I made, that she would fall in love, have a family, and, in the end, watch it fall apart. As a parent, you want what is best for your child, no matter how old they are. And when you see them going down another path, you scramble, clawing to pull them out of it. I have made some serious mistakes recently, ones that have affected her, you, and my relationship with her, and I am sorry for that. You’re right. Cassie is a grown woman, capable of making her own choices in life, and I need to start treating her like the adult she is.”
My mouth hung open slightly, and I didn’t know what to say. I had been fully prepared for him to say something terrible and then leave me sitting there alone. Instead, he surprised the shit out of me and actually listened to what I had to say. He smiled at the look on my face.
“You know, I’m not as bad as you might think I am.” He laughed. “I am capable of seeing the truth when it is right in front of me.”
“Yes, sir,” I said, nodding my head.
“I am not going to cut Cassie and the baby out of my life, or you for that matter. But I will tell you that if you do wrong by my daughter and my grandchild, I will make your life a living hell,” he said with a smile.
“I don’t doubt that, sir.” I chuckled. “And if that were to happen, I would hope you would make my life hell because I would deserve every second of it.”
“Well, I will reach out to Cassie,” he said. “For now, get home to my daughter and make sure she is cared for.”
“I will do that, sir,” I said, nodding to the bartender and handing him a twenty. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he said, shaking my hand. “And thank you.”
I nodded and headed out, feeling like I had won the lottery. I drove straight home, excited to see Cassie. When I got there, though, she was already asleep. I pulled the covers over her and kissed her forehead, knowing I would go to the ends of the earth for her.
Chapter 38
Cassie
When I woke up on Thursday morning, I lay there for a moment, staring out the window at the sun starting to come up. I felt a weight in the pit of my stomach and a fluttering in my chest. I crawled out of bed and hopped in the shower, trying to wash away the bad feeling inside me. When I was done, I got out and looked in the mirror, and I noticed that my belly was starting to grow. So far it looked like I’d had a big dinner, but I knew it was coming. I sighed and pulled on my clothes, hearing Scott up and moving around the house. I walked out into the bedroom and grabbed some socks and shoes.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he said, leaning down to kiss me, but I turned my head.
“Morning,” I said with a wisp of coldness in my tone.
“Do you want me to take you to work today? We have more than enough time,” he said.
“No,” I replied. “I’d rather grab an Uber. You shouldn’t really be near the site. I don’t want any trouble from my father if he happens to be there when I get there.”
“I don’t think there would be any trouble.” He smiled.
“Right.” I scoffed and stood up, buttoning my shirt collar.
He could tell I was being short with him, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t in the mood to play nice that morning. I hadn’t been asleep like he’d thought when he got home the night before. I had smelled the liquor on his breath and decided it was best that I stayed pretending. I didn’t want to get into an argument with a drunk guy or hear his excuses. They would have only made me feel even worse. I was tired anyway, having eaten a shit-ton of Chinese and worried myself into an almost full-on anxiety attack. I wasn’t used to living with him. Nor was I aware of any habits he might have that he wasn’t going to break for the baby and me. In reality, I had no idea where he had gone the night before or what he had done while he was there, but it made me upset.
My hormones were wreaking havoc on my brain, and the only thing I could think about was him doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing with a pregnant girlfriend waiting for him at home. I didn’t go through all of this to get stuck with a man who couldn’t let his single-guy tendencies go. And God help him if he was stupid enough to talk to any other women. The town was small, and I would know about it in a heartbeat. I tried to tell myself that he was not that kind of guy, that he had proven he wasn’t that kind of guy, but my chemical imbalance was playing tricks on my normally non-jealous mind.
I came into the relationship with the understanding that he and I had some of the same goals. We didn’t want to live how everyone else did. We didn’t want a generation of construction workers or a generation of spoiled rich children. We wan
ted to show our child that life could be different, that real love was out there, and that they could be anything he or she wanted to be. The last thing I needed was to have him out all night drinking all the time when the baby was born. If I wanted to do this myself, I wouldn’t have fought myself so hard to accept Scott back into my life.
I moved around the house, gathering my things and waiting for the coffee to be ready. I tried to stay out of Scott’s reach, as physical affection was not what I wanted that morning. He walked over and stood next to me, our hands almost touching. I looked down and moved my hand, turning and walking away. He watched me walk through the living room and sit down for a moment to tie my shoes.
“Cassie,” he said, “I’m taking the bait.”
“What?” I said, not even looking up at him.
“What is wrong with you?” he asked. “You are obviously upset. You are not even looking at me, and you are incredibly distant. What is going on?”
“Nothing,” I said, not wanting to fight with him. “I’m just tired.”
“Right,” he said, walking over and standing in front of me so that I couldn’t go anywhere. “I know we haven’t known each other for decades, but I know when there is something wrong with you. I know when that little brain is running overtime and you are holding back from me. We are in a relationship now, Cassie. That means we talk to each other when things are wrong. We will never survive a lifetime together if we can’t talk to each other about what is going through our heads.”
I stayed quiet, staring at his shirt. He reached forward and lifted my chin, looking deep into my eyes. I knew he was right, but I didn’t want to sound like I was crazy.
“Come on,” he said. “Let it out.”
“I wasn’t asleep when you got home last night,” I said. “I could smell the liquor on your breath. You were out all night drinking, which I understand is a normal Wednesday thing for you and Landon, but you told me a few days ago that you weren’t going out this week because he was out of town. I don’t want a man who is going to be out all the time drinking at bars and coming home smelling like a bottle of whiskey. I can’t deal with that when the baby gets here. It wouldn’t be fair to our child or to me. So if that is something you can’t handle, then you need to tell me now. I won’t spend my life like that, and I thought that was how you felt about it too.”