Officer Daddy

by Jacqueline Diamond

  From the way he ground out the words, Nora gathered the wounds had never fully healed. Instinctively, she yearned to soothe away the pain. But they were talking about their own baby, their own family, not the past.

  “You don’t have to live the way your parents did,” she pointed out. “Look at your brother.”

  “That’s what you expect from me?” His gaze was sharp. “The nine-to-five job, the house on the bluffs?”

  Nora blinked in surprise. “I was talking about the way he and Kate work together. Raising their kids. Supporting each other.”

  “I’m not Tony. Never will be.”

  “That’s not what I’m asking.” She longed to brush the tension from his jaw. She wished she could restore the sweetness she’d seen in him earlier. “Forget I mentioned him. You said we had a lot to discuss.”

  Cool air replaced the warmth as Leo got to his feet. “I’ve been turning things over in my mind, trying to figure out how to get a handle on this. You and I—well, we both knew this was temporary, but suddenly it isn’t. Because of the baby. On the other hand, I’m still the same person as always.”

  “Fundamentally, sure.” The same person with as much capacity to love as his brother or anyone else. Nora hoped he could see that.

  “I can deal with being an uncle. More than an uncle, I suppose, since there’d be financial support and more one-on-one time and all that. But I can be like an uncle.” He took a firm stance, legs apart, as if bracing for attack. “The kid will have as much of a dad as a lot of children in divorce situations.”

  Divorce situations? An uncle? Pain twisted through Nora. “I thought you refused to hold your child at arm’s length. I thought…” You idiot. You thought he was falling in love with you.

  “That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m proposing a reasonable compromise.” In his gaze, she saw an odd mix of stubbornness and offended innocence.

  Unexpectedly, she felt a burst of anger. Anger at him for ducking his feelings and retreating into his tough-guy protective shell. Anger at herself for falling in love with yet another man who couldn’t love her back.

  Unlike Reese, who was too self-absorbed to truly care for others, Leo had everything she’d dreamed of. He just wasn’t willing to share it with her.

  Tears burned her eyes, but Nora refused to yield. Unlike earlier this evening when she’d feared a miscarriage, she wasn’t helpless. This time, she had a choice. “I’m not interested in my child having an uncle. If you can’t be a father, then—well, I don’t know what you are.”

  “That’s unfair.”

  “Maybe to you. Not to me.” She felt like jumping up and shaking him, and that scared her. She wasn’t used to lashing out, didn’t know the boundaries of her own rage. “You should leave.”

  “You won’t even talk to me?” He remained planted by the door.

  “What else is there to say? This isn’t a discussion, it’s a take-it-or-leave-it. Well, I refuse to raise a child around the edges of your life. I might find someone else who wants to be a husband and a full-time father, and if not, I’m better off alone.” Nora bit back a flood of furious words, none of which would convey what she felt, anyway. Which was hurt. Just…hurt.

  What he should have done was crossed the room and hugged her. What he did was draw back. “This is exactly what I mean. All this drama. I don’t know what kind of man you’re looking for, but it isn’t me.”

  If only she had the power to rewind to an hour ago. To return to Paige’s office, to that moment when happiness hovered within grasp. But even if she could, events would play out just as they had, because she was Nora and he was Leo. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

  “Sleep on it.” He spoke gruffly. “Maybe tomorrow…”

  She refused to go through this wringer again so soon. “I need longer.”

  “How much longer?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Fine.” Coldness, with a side of sarcasm. “Call me when you’re ready.” Out he went.

  An urge to yell after him seized Nora. Don’t go! Except, if he turned around, she had no idea what she’d say.

  She heard his footsteps as he crossed the living room and the sound of the front door closing. Then the knob jiggled as he made sure it was locked.

  Taking care of her, even as he left.

  That failed to soften her rage. For heaven’s sake, he’d basically expected her to spend the next twenty years tied to him, with no real obligation on his part other than a financial one.

  Nora tried to retreat into the idea that had comforted her, marginally, as she’d fought through her divorce. The belief that eventually she would find the right guy. That there had to be a man out there worthy of her love and ready to love her back.

  But she wasn’t going to fall for some other man. She’d fallen too hard for Leo.

  The only solution was to give him up entirely. Later, they could deal with the whole legal parenthood issue, but for now, she had to protect her heart.

  HALF A DOZEN TIMES THAT week, Leo nearly pressed Nora’s number on his phone. But he’d gone that route after their initial encounter, and she’d cut him off. This time, let her make the first move.

  He’d proposed a perfectly reasonable compromise. One way or another, he planned to remain involved with his child. As involved as he could be.

  Living alone suited Leo. He liked grabbing leftover pizza out of the refrigerator and eating over the sink. In the middle of the night, when he awoke feeling irritable, he enjoyed knocking billiard balls around with satisfying thunks, and no worries about disturbing a wife or roommate.

  He wasn’t fond of the discolored paint at the front of the house, though. On his day off, he slogged to the paint store to match the color of the shutters, prepped the surface and touched them up. He also mixed some concrete and filled the crack in the porch. When his neighbor’s gardener, noticing the improvement, proposed to weed and reseed the lawn, Leo forked over the cash.

  Wouldn’t want his kid to grow up thinking Daddy lived in a dump.

  The atmosphere at work didn’t exactly thrill him, either. Trent Horner’s self-satisfied grin proved a constant reminder that the two-week evaluation period was drawing to a close. Trent had progressed from running errands for the sergeant to cozying up to Chief Walters. With the public information officer out on maternity leave, there always seemed to be some community group touring the department or school requesting a friendly officer for career day. And Trent popped up like a plastic figure in an arcade game of Whac-A-Mole.

  “Everybody knows he’s nothing but a suck-up. The captain sees right through him,” Patty commented on Saturday as Leo steered the cruiser past a park. On a mild April afternoon, it teemed with families and kids.

  “Maybe so, but it bothers me. The brass shouldn’t be handling promotions in such a subjective manner.” Most police departments at least gave the appearance of objectivity in the way they tested, interviewed and scored candidates, although Leo suspected there was plenty of behind-the-scenes bias at work. “One day some disgruntled candidate’s going to sue them.”

  “Safe Harbor’s a small town,” Patty pointed out. “They do a lot of things the old-fashioned way.”

  Leo shrugged. “Not that it matters. As far as I’m concerned, you’ve earned the promotion. Congratulations.”

  He meant it, more or less. She’d focused hard on working with Mike, while Leo hadn’t done much of anything except get distracted by his love life. Sure, he’d investigated his cases thoroughly and gone into careful detail in his reports, but that episode with the Hightowers and the chief had put him in a bad light.

  “Mike’s a good teacher,” his partner said. “Goes out of his way to clue me in. I’m not sure why.”

  “Maybe he likes you.” Leo scanned a parked car that resembled one sought in a bank robbery in Huntington Beach. Right make and model. Green instead of blue, though.

  “You mean, personally?”

  “Naw, I bet he likes you impersonall
y.”

  “Funny thing is, he keeps asking about my long-term plans. Where do I see myself in ten years, ever get tired of the bureaucracy, that kind of thing.” She drummed a rhythm on the dashboard.

  “He’s suggesting you join his agency?” Leo hadn’t realized Mike was seeking anyone else to work with him and his partner. “He must be nuts.”

  “Why?”

  “You, strike out on your own? No regular paycheck, no pension? It’s not your style.” He studied a man sitting on a park bench. Suspicious, a lone guy in a park full of children, but the fellow appeared absorbed in his newspaper. Plus he’d chosen a seat facing away from the playground.

  “I don’t want to turn into some fat, middle-aged bureaucrat,” she retorted. “Because that’s what can happen in this job if you don’t look out for yourself.”

  She had a point. If Leo lost the promotion, perhaps he should consider joining the agency himself.

  No way. In spite of the frustrations that came with being a cop, he enjoyed the camaraderie of the force and the sense of making a difference in the community. Guess he wasn’t such a rebel, after all.

  “Sounds like you’re considering his offer,” he said, and signaled a turn.

  “Nothing to consider,” she shot back. “He hasn’t offered. Hey, no circling back.”

  “Why not?”

  “We’ve been sticking to this side of town since lunch.”

  “It isn’t intentional.” Their patrols deliberately resisted any predictable pattern.

  “You’re avoiding the Civic Center,” Patty observed. “You and Blondie on the outs?”

  Leo gritted his teeth. Usually, he appreciated her bluntness. Today, it grated. “Going our separate ways. As you’d expect, knowing me.”

  “She seemed different from your other girlfriends.”

  “Different how?”

  “She’s got guts,” Patty said.

  To prove he had nothing to hide, Leo swung in the opposite direction, toward the community center. “Since you’re so crazy about her, let’s see what she’s up to.”

  “She’s counseling today?”

  He shrugged. To admit he knew about her plans with Suzy meant explaining the events of Monday night, which were none of Patty’s concern. Besides, Leo didn’t really expect to see Nora except from a distance.

  Just enough to remind her that he existed. And that they had unfinished business.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Nora took Tuesday off work, but spent most of her time reviewing charts in the computer and consulting by phone. On Wednesday, glad to have no further spotting, she returned to the office.

  Still, although she was at work, she didn’t feel back to normal. Being pregnant changed everything. So did loving Leo, and missing him. Well, she would adjust—if only to the fact that becoming a single parent meant she had to keep right on adjusting.

  To her relief, the office gossip had moved on to the subject of Bailey’s surrogacy. The nurse announced that she’d come through her workup with flying colors and planned to start inseminations next month. Her sister, she reported, was already decorating the nursery.

  Risking disappointment, but why not? Life didn’t come with guarantees. Nora figured they should all enjoy the moment.

  To pass her time, after work she got started on transforming her condo from a bachelorette pad into a real home. Buoyed by the ultrasound photo, she bought a teddy-bear mobile to put in the spare bedroom for baby Muffin—its temporary name, until she learned the gender—along with a portable crib to use on the patio while Nora leafed through medical journals, or in the kitchen while she cooked. She wanted to mull over the nursery decor a little longer before buying any more furniture.

  As for calling Leo, she postponed that touchy topic to focus on the other phone calls she needed to make, to her patients who’d decided to adopt. The first woman she reached, Lucy Arrigo, happily informed her that attorney Fergus Bridger had produced a newborn much sooner than they’d expected.

  Her voice shimmered with excitement. “We did pay him a lot, but it’s worth it. Oh, he’s so cute! Not Mr. Bridger—the baby. We’re naming him Hernando, after my dad. My family’s throwing us a huge party next weekend!”

  Fergus Bridger. That was the lawyer Leo had mentioned. Still, in a small town, it wasn’t unusual for a particular adoption attorney’s name to turn up more than once. “Congratulations,” Nora said. “If you don’t mind my asking, how exactly did you find Mr. Bridger?”

  “We got a call from a lady on his staff,” Lucy replied. “She said someone had referred them to us. Whoever it was, they did us a huge favor.”

  “Did you sign up on a fertility website?”

  “It’s possible. Although I doubt I’d have put down my phone number.”

  No sense interrogating her further. This was a happy ending, after all. “I’m glad everything worked out.”

  On Friday, Nora got a call back from Una, who confirmed that her attorney was Fergus Bridger, too. Another mysterious, unspecified referral.

  The patients seemed pleased, but if someone was leaking private information, Nora ought to tell the administrator and the hospital’s attorney. It didn’t feel right to share this with Tony, though, until she’d informed Leo.

  Which meant she’d have to see him, or at least talk to him.

  On Saturday, she met with both Suzy and Ralph at the picnic table outside the community center, since another counselor was seeing a client indoors. The young couple seemed sad, but resigned to their loss. They were working through the grief together, encouraging each other and facing the future with slowly building optimism.

  “I’m sorry we lost our baby,” Ralph confided, “but I can kind of see Suzy’s point about how hard it would be right now. Becoming parents and all that.”

  His girlfriend nudged him. “Like we discussed, you can take business courses even if you aren’t ready to pursue a degree.”

  “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that,” the young man conceded.

  A question occurred to Nora. Reluctant as she was to poke into a sensitive issue, she had to bring it up. “Suzy, you said you found an adoption attorney here in Safe Harbor. Mind telling me who it was?”

  “Mr. Bridger.”

  This had to be more than a coincidence. “Where’d you find his name?”

  The girl’s forehead creased. “Umm…I got a call from his office. They said someone referred me. It wasn’t you, was it?”

  “I would never give out your name or other information,” Nora assured her.

  “Anyway, he can go stuff his referral,” Ralph said passionately.

  Suzy chuckled, and the moment passed.

  Nora had hoped Leo might stop by to see Ralph, but he hadn’t arrived by the time the couple left. Inside the counseling center, she found May Chong straightening the array of brochures about family and medical services.

  “Oh, you’re finished,” the secretary said.

  “I hope you didn’t stay on my behalf.” The center’s new security policies required at least two staffers to be on the premises at all times.

  “No, no.” May indicated the closed door to the inner room, from which came the faint murmur of voices. “We’re busy today. I’ve been updating the schedule.”

  “Is Ted here? I need to buy a new printer and I’d appreciate his opinion.” Realizing she might be taking advantage of the young man’s good nature, Nora added, “I’ll pay for his time as a consultant. I realize he has a business to run.”

  May’s nose wrinkled. “Ha! He doesn’t do much with that. Too busy on the internet.”

  Nora didn’t understand. “Doing what on the internet?”

  “Buying and selling things. And—” she lowered her voice “—gambling. I wish he’d quit. He says it’s a hobby, but he loses money.”

  “You mean, a lot of money?” Nora didn’t see how he could afford it.

  The secretary’s shoulders slumped. “He won’t tell me exactly. But I think so.”

&
nbsp; Nora caught her breath at the implication. If Ted was addicted to gambling, he might have leaped at the chance to earn referral fees from the attorney. He had access to the computers. He also interacted with the girls who came here seeking help. That could explain how Bridger seemed able to come up with so many young moms.

  Don’t go off making half-cocked accusations. If she was wrong, she could hurt innocent people. Besides, now that Nora thought about it, Ted only worked on the counseling center’s computers. They didn’t contain her patients’ records, and as far as she knew, neither Una nor Lucy was a client here.

  The whole thing might be a coincidence. But she didn’t really believe that.

  Troubled, Nora picked up her purse, said goodbye to May and went out. She was nearing her car when she spotted the police cruiser with Leo at the wheel.

  The sudden brightness in his expression when he glimpsed her mirrored her own rush of relief. They had to talk. She could trust Leo.

  LEO WONDERED IF HE’D EVER be prepared for the sheer visceral impact of seeing Nora, her face glowing in the sunshine, her full lips parting as she waved at him. It took all his control to slow the car gradually and ease to one side instead of hitting the brakes.

  “You’re totally going your separate ways,” Patty murmured. “You’re totally not gawking at her like a smitten teenager and she’s totally not hopping up and down in the parking lot. Hmm. Reminds me of high school.”

  “You drove around in a cop car in high school?”

  “I drove around with guys who gawked at pretty girls,” Patty grumbled. “That’s why I took up target practice.”

  Leo double-parked—it saved time if they needed to pull away in a hurry—and got out. From long practice, he surveyed the area for anything amiss, which saved him from pulling Nora into his arms like an idiot.

  All the same, as she drew near, he registered her vibrant restlessness and the rise and fall of her chest. “Anything wrong?” he asked.