Behind the Mask_A Rockstar Romance

by J. L. Ostle

  I am writing down Troy’s and Sam’s orders on the piece of paper Tegan gave me when I feel a nudge to my arm and I turn to Naomi, who isn’t looking at me but straight ahead. I see Nate looking at me. I feel my heart skip a beat and it almost causes me to drop the pen and paper.

  Why do I have to look like a spaz when I’m around him?

  “Hey, Nate,” I mumble. I almost kick myself.

  “Is it okay if you do something for me?” He says a simple thing and my mind goes straight to the gutter, thinking of so many dirty scenarios.

  “Of course.”

  He walks slowly toward me. I hold my breath.

  Say you want me.

  Say you need me.

  Just say you want to be inside me and you can.

  “Can you get me more of that Jean Paul Gaultier?”

  I give him a small smile. I got it for him five years ago for Christmas and he has been wearing it ever since.

  “It will be on top of my list.”

  “Thank you.” He looks at me for a second more before walking away. My eyes are on him until he’s gone. I hold on to my chest, not realizing I was still holding my breath.

  “We are under their thumbs.” Naomi pulls her hair, looking up at the ceiling. “One look, one smile and we are their slaves. We are pathetic.”

  I link my arm to hers. “Least we are pathetic together.” We chuckle, heading out of the building. The limo is gone. The crowd that was here before is also gone. “Right, let’s just get cracking.” We walk to the curb and I hail for a cab.

  “So, getting Nate’s first as he is on top of your list, even though I know you would like to be on top of him.” Naomi waggles her eyebrows at me.

  I push her a little. “You are so funny,” I say sarcastically.

  “I know.” She smiles, showing her white teeth.

  Once we have done everything on the list, we head to Jack’s café and once he spots us his smile lights up his face. He stops what he is doing and comes our way.

  “What are you beautiful ladies doing here?” He hugs each of us.

  “Jack, you flatterer.” Naomi pretends to be shy, but Jack and I both know she is anything but.

  “The guys want more of your delicious food. As I am here I might as well grab something for everyone.” Like hell I want Tegan telling me to come back as she’s hungry after smelling Troy’s and Sam’s food.

  “You got it.” I name what everyone would want, also adding something for me and Naomi as we deserve to eat something awesome too, but I also get us both a nice treat on top of it.

  If I’m not having a nap, I need the sugar to keep me going.

  We take a seat as we wait. Naomi keeps looking at Jack and when she looks back at me, she is giving me a cheeky smile.

  “What?” I ask her.

  “I think Jack has a soft spot for you.”

  I look at her confused, then at Jack. Like he can feel me looking at him, he looks up and smiles at me. No way he can like me. I’m a nobody who works along with the band.

  “You are crazy, if he did he would have asked me out by now. He’s had plenty of opportunities.”

  “Men can be shy. He probably thinks you would turn him down.”

  I look back at Jack. He is attractive. He does have very nice eyes, but then images of Nate and his eyes enter my mind and no one can compare to them.

  “It wouldn’t work.” I slump in my seat.

  “Oh, why not?” Naomi looks disappointed.

  “His name is called Nate. It wouldn’t be fair if I started something up with someone as nice as Jack while I am drooling over someone else.” Jack walks over a few minutes later with a couple of bags of our food and my stomach growls, making my face turn bright red from embarrassment. “I am so sorry; my stomach is dying to eat this.” I laugh it off.

  “I find it a compliment. Enjoy.”

  “I will. Thank you again.” I give him a warm smile, which he returns. I follow Naomi to the door and when I reach it I can’t help but turn around and Jack is smiling, still watching me. I give him a little wave and turn back around and leave.

  Once we are back home Naomi pleads to take Troy his food. I would let her do it, but seeing her offering her first born to me just to give Troy his baguette is the funniest thing to watch.

  I head to Sam’s room, handing him his food, then I go to Tegan’s, hanging up her clothes, then I pass her a chicken salad, which she takes eagerly. I place mine and Naomi’s food in my room, then I head to Nate’s room. I knock on his door but get no answer.

  I knock again. Nothing.

  He could be sleeping, so I open his door, poking my head through, but he isn’t here. I walk in, closing the door behind me. I glide my fingers along the sheets on his bed. I go to his desk, placing his man perfume and his food there.

  He should notice them when he comes in. He must be downstairs somewhere. I am about to leave when I hear a noise coming from his bathroom. I walk slowly toward the bathroom door, seeing it’s ajar.

  I look through the little gap and the place is steamed up. He must have just had a shower, but when I see him my mouth hangs open. I quickly cover my mouth with my hand to stop the gasp. He is standing near the sink, one hand holding the basin, the other holding his dick.

  His head is bowed forward, his eyes closed. I shouldn’t be watching, but I can’t seem to look away. I feel that ache between my legs start to build. I want to touch myself so badly, seeing water dripping droplets from his hair to his chest, teasing me as it slides down his well-toned stomach.

  I watch as he speeds up, pumping himself faster. His hand that was holding the basin goes to the wall next to the mirror. My eyes wander down to his dick once again, and seeing how smooth, how perfect it is, I can just imagine what it would be like for him to be inside me.

  I press my hand against my chest, my heartbeat hammering away. I am about to walk away when I hear Naomi calling out to me. I look at the door, then back at Nate, and he is looking at me through the mirror. His eyes look dazed, but he doesn’t stop.

  His eyes close when I hear him groan out his release. I see his cum covering his hand and the sink. I quickly run out of there, almost banging straight into Naomi.

  “Shit, girl, you look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

  I grab her hand, running down the hall. We keep going until we reach my room, shutting the door behind us, my back pressed against it.

  I’m acting like a murderer is after me.

  I close my eyes and have to quickly open them again as all I see is Nate watching me as he finished himself off.

  Dammit.

  “What the hell is going on?” Naomi demands. “Are you okay?”

  I shake my head. “Yeah.” Oh yeah, that doesn’t look too obvious.

  “What happened?” She pulls me into the room and pushes me to sit on the bed as she sits next to me. “Come on, spill, you’re scaring me.”

  “I kind of just watched Nate jerk himself off.”

  Naomi’s eyes go wide and then she shrieks, almost deafening me.

  “Holy shit, was it hot? Is he big?”

  I place my face into my hands. It was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.

  “He’s perfect,” I whisper.

  “Of course, he is. He screams perfect. You lucky bitch. How much did you see? Was it a little look or did you actually watch?”

  I open my mouth then close it again. I feel like a stalker or a pervert.

  “Oh my God, you watched. You actually watched him.”

  I push her off my bed, but she is laughing on the floor.

  “Naomi, it’s not funny.”

  “It is.” She kneels up. “Did he see you?”

  I look at her and she stops smiling.

  “Oh no, he saw you watching him. What did he do?” She pins concerned eyes on me.

  “He continued, then he came.”

  “He didn’t stop?”

  I shake my head.

  “I don’t know what to say to that. Do y
ou think he liked that you watched? Found it a thrill or something?”

  “I don’t know, but I do know I won’t be able to look him in the eye again. I just fucked up our relationship.” I groan, lying back.

  “Your relationship was you pining after him and him hardly saying two words to you unless it’s an errand or when he’s drunk.”

  “Thanks for sharing all that. Feel more shitty now.”

  Naomi lies next to me, and we both look up to the ceiling.

  “I can’t believe I watched.”

  “I can’t believe you watched. You are the good girl between us both. You’re the angel and I’m the devil. Maybe I’m rubbing off on you.” She pauses. “Maybe rubbing is the wrong word.”

  I grab my pillow, hitting her with it, making us both laugh.

  “Just act like what just happened was no big deal and soon it will be forgotten.”

  “You think so?”

  “He will forget, but doubt you will, though. That shit will probably be in your dreams for a very long time.”

  “You really know how to make me feel better,” I say sarcastically.

  “That’s what best friends are for.” She winks at me. I push her, accidentally making her fall off the bed. I burst out in hysterics.

  Naomi heads to the radio and when Cher’s “Turn Back Time” starts to play, we both shriek, singing along to the words. I love Cher. If I could get away with having her hair she had back in the eighties, I would.

  I grab one of my hairbrushes, singing into it. Naomi quickly grabs one also and we start singing at the top of our lungs when the chorus hits. I feel the music flowing through me. I stand up on top of my desk, pretending I’m on a stage.

  I sway my hips, singing to Naomi, her singing back to me. I do a few dance moves to certain words, then I jump down, walking to my door and opening it quickly, singing out the chorus before the guitar solo plays.

  Shutting the door again, Naomi and I start walking slowly toward one another, singing like we are divas. The song is almost finished. We are still singing when someone turns off the radio. I look to find an angry Tegan glaring at me.

  “What the hell?” Naomi complains.

  “Some people are trying to sleep; do you have no consideration?”

  I shouldn’t have opened the door. I was just so into the music, I couldn’t help myself.

  “Sorry, we weren’t thinking.” I apologize.

  “You don’t need to apologize. This is your home too. If she wants to sing she can.” Naomi stands by my side.

  “I wouldn’t call what you both were doing singing, more than cats screeching, but there are other members who live here too.”

  “Cats?” Naomi screeches. “We are good singers, especially your sister. She sings like a fucking angel.”

  “I think that’s a bit farfetched. I don’t care if you sing but sing more quietly. Anyway, don’t you need to head to the set to make sure everything is taken care of?”

  I check the time and she is right.

  “We are going now.”

  “Good, will see you soon.” She walks out of the room. Naomi stands right in front of me.

  “You shouldn’t let her talk to you like that. I know she is your sister, but she can be such a bitch. I have been around you all day and not one of them has thanked you or me for cleaning up after their mess.”

  “They are on tour. It’s crazy for them. They have a busy three months ahead of them.”

  “Manners don’t cost a thing. This band can be dickheads.” She shakes her head. “Come on, let’s get going. Please don’t tell me they are having another party tonight. I need beauty sleep or I am going to look like Gollum from Lord of the Rings.”

  “No, they are at the Venus Club tonight, so once I know they are there, we can go.”

  She hugs me tightly. “Oh, thank the holy Jesus. I have something to look forward to. I am not waking up until lunchtime tomorrow.”

  I am turning my phone off once I’m in bed. I’m not waking up for anything.

  Leaving my room, I look down the hallway that will lead to Nate’s room and I feel myself blushing. I know every time I look at him, I’m going to look like a tomato.

  Oh, joys.

  I see Max in the limo and I get a crazy idea. I grab Naomi’s arm, pulling her with me as I knock on Max’s window. He steps out of the car, smiling at us both.

  “Hi, ladies, how are you both?”

  “Apart from Tegan being a bitch, we are fine. Tired but fine,” Naomi says first. Max chuckles looking at me.

  “Tegan being all diva on your ass again?”

  “Something like that.”

  “More like a dragon,” Naomi says at the same time as me.

  “What can I do for you, ladies?”

  “Yeah, Blair, we need to hurry and grab a cab.”

  “Well, I was wondering, Max, if you could drive us to the venue, pretty please.” I bat my eyelashes at him and he bursts out laughing. I know my flirting skills are mediocre but didn’t think they were that bad.

  “Get on in.” My eyes bug out. I didn’t think he was going to say yes straight away. I thought I would have to do some begging.

  “Holy shit, really?” Naomi jumps up and down. “Blair, I could kiss you. We are going to be in a limo, just us two.” She jogs around, jumping inside.

  “She’s eager,” Max says, making me giggle.

  “Thanks for doing this. It just popped in my head once I saw you.” Max opens the door wider for me. I look inside, seeing Naomi being nosey at every nook and cranny.

  “It’s nice to have fun moments. Besides, I’m here doing nothing for another hour, so at least you’re keeping me busy.” Max smiles.

  “You are ace,” I say.

  “Tell that to my kid,” he jokes.

  “I will. If I ever see her I will tell her she has one cool dad.”

  “Well, for that, help yourself to a bottle of bubbly.” He winks.

  “Fuck yeah.” Naomi grabs a bottle, pulling the cork and her lips are instantly around the bottle, sucking up the bubbles.

  “You are one classy bird,” Max teases her. She gives him a thumbs-up, her mouth still around the bottle.

  “Have fun.” He shuts the door as Naomi is pouring two glasses.

  “This is the best idea you have ever had. I feel so famous right now.” She kicks up her legs, stretching out, sipping her drink. I take a sip also. I love champagne.

  “I think after today we deserve to be driven in style.”

  “Hell yeah.” She raises her glass. I clink mine with hers. “This has made today worth it.” She pauses. “Well, almost.” We both laugh.

  We giggle and laugh all the way to the venue. It’s only twenty minutes away, but it is the quickest twenty minutes of my life. When Max opens the door helping us out, I give him a huge hug, thanking him over and over.

  Entering the venue, roadies are already setting up the equipment. Naomi and I say hello to each one we walk by. Heading straight to the dressing rooms, I open three huge bags of Skittles, sorting them out by color. I know Tegan only does this to annoy me.

  I make sure there are plenty of chilled bottles of water. I open the mini fridge in the meet and greet room and see bottles of beer placed. I go to the table with plates of food fully wrapped to keep fresh. The place is perfect. I know the staff here and the roadies do their jobs to the best of their abilities, but I am here to double-check so no one gets yelled at.

  Tegan enjoys putting people in their places. Fame has gotten to her head and it has turned her into a monster. I remembered after their first album went platinum and they did their first concert on tour, she made a member of the staff cry. I watched the girl run off, apologizing. The candles in Tegan’s room weren’t vanilla scented and Tegan wanted vanilla scented.

  I chased after the girl, reassuring her my sister is a bitch and not to let it upset her. I spoke to the girl’s manager, explaining what happened as the girl was afraid she was going to get fired and she had a t
hree-month-old baby to support.

  Since then I double-check everything. In that case, the only one who will get yelled at is me. Tegan doesn’t make me cry. Yeah, words hurt like a bitch, but I rather take it than an innocent person who doesn’t meet Tegan’s stupid demands.

  Stepping onto the stage, I see Naomi helping set up the drums. I walk over to Travis, who is talking to someone through a walkie-talkie. When he sees me he finishes up what he’s saying and gives me a hug.

  “Hey, my little star, everything sorted in the back?” Little star is his nickname for me as he thinks I’m going to be the next Madonna.

  “Yes, perfect, just missing the tequila bottles.”

  Travis asks through the talkie. “They are on their way. Will let you know once they arrive.”

  I ruffle up his hair. “You are the best.”

  “I keep telling people this.” He pats down his hair. The radio is on quietly that I make out Christina Aguilera’s song “Fighter” is being played. I start humming to the song as I check the guitar and that the strings are in tune.

  I start playing along to the song, singing along to the words, and I jump when I hear my voice echo around the room. I turn to Naomi and see she plugged in the microphone. She grabs another microphone and sings as backup to the song.

  I strum along the guitar, us both singing, and soon a few of the roadies start singing along, dancing to the rocked-up version of “Fighter.” It’s amazing as most of the roadies grew up singing, playing some sort of instrument or dancing. I watch as a few breakdance in the middle of the stage.

  I sing out louder, playing harder. Hearing myself surround the room is such a rush. I have never played in such a huge space as this. I finish off the song and the roadies applaud, teasing me by shouting out encore.

  Placing the guitar down, I hear a few boos, but they start to get back to work.

  “That was so cool. Felt like I was on Fame or something. You are really good. I think you play better than your sister,” Naomi says.

  “If she heard you say that, she would kill you.” I walk over to the bass guitar and I strum through the strings. I’m not that good on base. I know the guys will adjust all this when they arrive soon, but I like to add the little touches.

  I walk over to the lead microphone. I hold it with both hands. Soon Nate will be holding this. Breathing into it, singing, ruining me with his voice.