Consort of Rebels

by Sadie Moss

  When I felt his heart start to beat on its own beneath my hands, my skin went numb with relief. I blew out a shaky breath and looked up at the men gathered around me. “I can heal him, I think. But it’s going to take a while.”

  “Fen, help me.” Corin slipped an arm around Jae while Fen—back in human form—took his other side.

  They carried him over to a bed in the corner and lay him down gently. I followed close on their heels, eager to resume my ministrations. Now that I could breathe again, I spared a glance at my surroundings. We were in a sparsely decorated bedroom in what looked like a rundown house. It reminded me of my apartment in the Outskirts, but older and bigger. A dusty smell hung in the air, and the room was empty except for the bed and several large boxes in the corner.

  The sheets were clean though, and wherever we were, it seemed safe.

  As I sat down on the bed and rested my hands on Jae’s chest again, I picked up whispered voices behind us. They were too low for me to hear everything they murmured, but I was certain I heard “The Crow” mentioned several times.

  This must be a Resistance cell in the Outskirts, separate from the main base I’d visited every other time. Fen had said they were branching out as they gained new recruits, and Jae must’ve decided it was safer for us to come here than risk leading his father to the Resistance headquarters.

  Fenris broke away from the small group and came to stand behind me, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of my head. He spoke into my hair. “We need to tell Noble what happened right away and find out what he knows. Will you be all right without us for a bit?”

  I nodded mutely, never taking my eyes off Jae’s elegant, too-still features.

  Fen drew in another long breath, the warmth of his lips making my scalp tingle, and murmured, “We’ll take care of this. You just take care of Jae. I know you can, killer."

  Corin pressed a kiss to my temple, and Akio ran a finger lightly down my cheek, and then the three of them left with the Blighted resistance members who’d rushed in to meet us.

  The door shut softly behind them, and silence swallowed the room. While I was glad for the chance to concentrate on healing Jae, the quiet also gave me too much space to think.

  And I didn’t want to think.

  Didn’t want to think about how Rain was one step closer to his goal.

  Didn’t want to think every semi-decent member of the Representatives was likely dead by now.

  Didn’t want to think that Jae’s own father had sided with Rain, and that he’d tried to kill not just me, but his only son.

  I’d never considered myself naïve. In fact, the word I would’ve more likely used to describe my personality was “jaded.” So why did I keep finding myself surprised by the depths people would sink to in their pursuit of power?

  I didn’t want to consider the odds we were up against, or how small a force fought on our side.

  I didn’t want to contemplate our odds of success.

  So I shut all those thoughts out. Instead, I poured my focus into healing Jae. His chest moved softly beneath my fingertips as I worked, rising and falling with deepening breaths. I gazed at his face, entranced by his fine features—the long nose and high cheekbones above a strong jaw and slightly pointed chin.

  His thick eyelashes fanned over his cheeks, and even with the lids lowered, I could picture the exact emerald green shade of his irises.

  Jae couldn’t fucking die. He was one of the best men I knew. Someone who hadn’t let his upbringing or the world he was born into define him. A man who had questioned everything he was told and shaped himself based on his own beliefs.

  I loved him.

  The realization calmed my heart, and the magic began to flow through me more easily, almost rushing from my body into his.

  I love him.

  I’d probably loved them all on some level since that first day I woke up and found myself tied to Akio’s bed. But this was more than that. I loved him. And it didn’t matter to me anymore whether my feelings originated from the bond or not, because in this moment, I knew beyond a doubt they belonged to me.

  Running one hand along the side of his face, I gently brushed his hair back. A moment later, those green eyes I knew so well blinked open slowly, and a sigh fell from my lips like a prayer.

  “Lana… are you all right?” he asked weakly.

  I snorted. “Why do you always ask me that after your dad does something awful to you?” And then, because I didn't want him to feel bad for worrying about me, I added more softly, “Yes, I’m fine. Are you okay?”

  Jae sat up gingerly, scooting up on the bed to lean against the headboard. “I will be.” He rubbed at his chest, as if still feeling the after-effects of his heart lurching back into motion. “I knew opening a portal that fast was dangerous. I haven’t done something that foolish in years.”

  I moved up to sit beside him, clasping his hand and continuing to feed the healing spell into his body. I wasn’t sure if my sudden wave of emotion earlier was the cause, or if Jae was sending magic back into me, but I could feel my own injuries repairing themselves. The bruises from Jonas’s attack faded slowly from my body.

  We sat in silence for a few moments while Jae regained his strength and I tried to think of what to say.

  For some kinds of grief, there were no adequate words.

  “It doesn't make any sense, but I’m almost relieved.”

  Jae’s soft words brought me out of my reverie, and I glanced at him. “What do you mean?”

  “I’ve always seen the kind of man my father was. From as early as I can remember. But still, despite every piece of evidence he gave me, I still held out some hope. That I was wrong—that he would change.”

  “And now?”

  He closed his eyes briefly. “And now I know. I wasn’t wrong. He’ll never change.”

  “I’m so sorry, Jae.”

  “You have nothing to be sorry for,” Jae said bluntly. “He does.”

  My stomach tightened. “You know we’re going to have to fight him.”

  “I am looking forward to it.” His normally calm voice held an edge I’d never heard before.

  I looked over at him, a lump forming in my throat. “It shouldn’t be like this. You shouldn’t have to fight your own father.”

  Jae’s chest rose and fell erratically, making me worry for his heart all over again. “Maybe it shouldn’t be, but it is. This is my fault. I’ve known what he’s capable of, what he’s truly like, my whole life. I should’ve stopped him a long time ago.”

  Squeezing his hand tighter, I pulled it to my chest. “Don't put that on yourself! His actions are his alone. You are not your father, Jae. You’re everything he isn’t—honest and empathetic and brave as hell. He doesn’t deserve to have a son like you. And if you don’t want to fight him, just say the word. Because I’m dying to.”

  I broke off then, pressing my lips into a thin line. I probably shouldn’t have run my mouth like that, but my wildly fluctuating emotions were getting the better of me.

  Gods. How fucked up is it to realize you love someone and offer to kill their father in the space of five minutes?

  There was a pause as Jae regarded me, and for the first time, no part of his expression was unreadable. He looked younger and wilder with his calm facade stripped away, nothing but naked emotion on his face.

  It was breathtaking.

  But before I was done looking my fill, his lips were on mine.

  He kissed like a starving man—like every pent-up emotion he’d held in for so long was finally spilling out into the connection between us. He wrapped his arm around me, and a moment later I was straddling his legs, our lips still locked in a hot, wet kiss. My hands framed his face as he sat up straighter, tasting my teeth with his tongue.

  I moaned against his mouth, running my hands down his lean chest to his firm waist. I tugged up his shirt and slipped my hands under it, seeking the warm skin underneath and—

  Jae’s body stiffened.


  He shoved me roughly away from him as he scrambled off the bed.

  I thought for a second he was going to run out the door, but he paused a few steps from it, his breath coming in sharp bursts. A pair of bare light bulbs gleamed from an old fixture in the ceiling, and in their dim light, he looked like a trapped, wounded animal.

  Embarrassment flooded my body. Shit. Had I been wrong? I knew Jae cared for me, but there were different kinds of love. Maybe the sparks that danced across my skin at even the most casual touch from him were mine alone.

  I cleared my throat, my mouth suddenly dry. “Jae, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

  “No. It’s not you.” His voice was harsh, his shoulders shaking from whatever emotion he was holding back.

  I wasn’t sure what was going on in his head. But I knew we stood at a precipice. He’d opened himself up to me in so many ways, but there was a part of him that had always remained closed off.

  I’d given up hope of ever seeing it, considering the vice-like control he had over his emotions.

  But I’d finally caught a glimpse of that hidden part of him.

  And even though the intensity of it scared me, I wasn’t going to let him push it back down.

  Chapter 14

  Jae’s body was taut, poised to run or fight, like a fox caught in the open on a desert plain. He looked like he was on the verge of breaking down entirely, and part of me wanted to back away, to give us both an out.

  But sometimes, the only way out was through.

  I stood slowly, keeping my eyes glued to his back. He tensed as I approached, and when I reached out to lay a gentle hand on his shoulder, his whole body jerked.

  “What, Jae? Please tell me. I want to help if I can.”

  “I don’t… I don’t want you to see.” His voice was rough, almost unrecognizable.

  “See what?”

  “Me.” His shoulders slumped, and my heart broke.

  “I want to see you, Jae. I want to know all of you.” My words were soft, and he shuddered under my touch.

  Slowly, I walked around to face him. He looked lost and pained; it was the same expression he’d worn at the Grand Ball after I met his father for the first time.

  Deciding it was a better to ask forgiveness than permission, I pushed him slowly toward the bed. His movements were stiff, but he responded to my gentle guidance, stepping backward until he hit the edge of the mattress.

  He sank down slowly. Keeping my eyes locked on his, almost drowning in the bright green of his irises, I deliberately moved my hands across his chest toward the first button of his shirt.

  Jae seemed drunk, hypnotized by my gaze, and though he shifted uncomfortably, he didn’t pull away as I undid the first button.

  I continued that way, working my fingers down without ever breaking eye contact. When the shirt hung open loosely, revealing a small sliver of his chest and abdomen, I moved to push the fabric off his shoulders.

  He stiffened again, reaching up to clamp one long-fingered hand around my wrist.

  “Please, Jae.”

  I didn’t push but held perfectly still until his grip on my wrist loosened. When it finally did, I slipped the white shirt down his arms.

  A pained gasp fell from my lips before I could contain it.

  This was what he hadn’t wanted me to see.

  Thick, pinkish lines streaked across his chest and shoulders—old wounds long ago healed over. What had caused these? A knife? A lash? Some kind of magic?

  My gaze traced the lines across his body as I crawled up onto the bed with him. I followed one that disappeared over his shoulder, and when I saw his back, I had to force myself to keep breathing.

  “Holy gods….”

  His chest had borne a few scars, but his back was a patchwork of violence.

  Unable to stop myself, I reached out a trembling hand and traced the lines of overlapping scars. Jae swallowed, holding perfectly still under my light touch. There was no deliberate pattern to them, just an array of slashes cutting across his back. They were thick, the reformed skin stretched over time. These wounds had been received when he was young, no more than a boy.

  “Your father?” I whispered.

  He swallowed thickly. “Yes.”

  “This was what you meant when you said you knew what kind of man he was.” My voice was strained as fury and pity fought for dominance in my mind.

  Jae didn’t answer this time, just nodded slowly.

  I wanted to scream. Wanted to hit something. Wanted to tear open another portal so I could go back to the palace and stab Jonas twenty more times—consequences be damned.

  But my rage wouldn't help Jae.

  From the looks of it, he’d had more than enough of that in his life. I didn’t want to be the bearer of any more.

  So instead, I leaned down and pressed my lips softly to a thick scar over his spine. His breath hitched, but I continued working my way across his back, pressing kisses of love and desire to all the places where his father had tried to break him.

  As my lips worshipped him, his breathing slowly deepened and evened out. When I brushed them across the strong muscles of his shoulder, he let out a low groan.

  The atmosphere shifted, the painful tension that had melted away earlier returning as something else entirely. Something that made my skin prickle with awareness and warmth spread low in my belly.

  My heart pounded out a heavy beat as I sat back and climbed off the bed. Jae’s deep green eyes watched my every movement, still a bit dazed. I crossed to the door and flicked the lock on the knob. It wouldn’t keep out determined intruders, but it would grant us all the privacy we needed for the moment.

  When I turned back toward Jae, butterflies took flight in my stomach as nerves unaccountably raced through me. The man before me had become one of my best friends, a guiding force in my life. His beauty and goodness were almost inhuman.

  Actually, maybe that was why I was nervous. The things I wanted to do to him right now were very, very human.

  But if we crossed this line, we could never go back.

  I couldn’t go back to being the thing he yearned for from a distance.

  He couldn’t go back to being someone I idolized from afar.

  We’d each tumble from the pedestal the other had placed us on and meet on solid ground, our flaws and fears no longer safely hidden away.

  Jae was the one currently shirtless, but his intense eyes made me feel completely exposed. My skin warmed everywhere his gaze roamed, as if it penetrated right through my clothes.

  I approached him slowly and rested my hands on his bare shoulders, feeling the scarred texture of his skin under my fingertips. His hands came up to clasp my hips in a surprisingly possessive grip as he stared at me.

  “Lana, are you sure…?”

  I bit my lip. “How’s your heart feeling?”

  One corner of his lip twitched up, and his green eyes lightened for a moment. “Good. Your healing skills are improving fast.”

  “Then yes, I’m sure.”

  Bending down, I pressed my lips to his. It was softer than our first kiss, gentler. An invitation and a reassurance all at once. The hands on my hips became almost bruising, and I felt the muscles of his shoulders bunch, but his mouth moved soft and slow against mine.

  This was what I wanted, what I’d wanted for so long. Whatever pleasure there was in loving the idea of Jae, it was nowhere near as good as loving the man himself—scars and all.

  As I explored his mouth with mine, I slid my hands down over the lean planes of his chest and stomach to his thighs. The muscles felt like steel as he tensed beneath my fingertips, but I didn’t let that stop me.

  Breaking our kiss, I licked and bit a path down his neck. Jae leaned back, bracing his hands on the bed, and when I showered kisses over the scars on his chest, his head lolled, his eyes falling half-closed. A bulge strained against the fabric of his pants as I dropped to my knees between his parted legs. He was already hard for me. I ran my hand over his
cock through the fabric then gave a gentle squeeze, and Jae’s head jerked up.

  I could see him trying to wrest back control of his emotions, to put a lid on all the feelings coursing through him. To bottle them up like he always did.

  But I didn’t let him. I squeezed him through his pants again, stroking up and down his hard length, making his green eyes spark with desire.

  Then I reached for his button and fly, inching them open to give me access to what I wanted. He lifted his hips to help me work his pants down a little, and a soft smile played across my lips. He wanted this as much as I did.

  When his cock sprang free, the velvety softness in my hand made heat pool in my core. I stroked the warm, smooth skin gently, taking my time as I explored him.

  This was Jae. My Jae. The man who had taught me, talked with me, and comforted me when I felt lost in a new world I didn’t understand.

  But now he was also the man who looked at me with fire in his eyes, who murmured soft groans and words of approval as I caressed his thick length. And I wanted this side of him as much as I wanted the cool, calm mage I’d come to love.

  I dipped my head, exhaling hot breaths along his cock before running my tongue over the tip. He tensed and fisted my hair tightly but didn’t try to control my movements.

  The pull on my scalp sent another zing of pleasure through me, and I took him in my mouth, unable to hold back any longer. I wanted to feel him, to taste him. To make him lose control.

  “Lana….” Jae dragged out my name as I swirled my tongue around him, his hips shifting in time to my rhythm.

  I hummed in response, wrapping my hand around his base as I worked my lips up and down, loving the way I could feel him pulse in my mouth, growing even harder in response to my touch.

  My gaze flicked upward, and the tempo of my strokes faltered.

  Good gods. He’s fucking beautiful.

  Jae’s head was tilted down, the muscles of his neck corded. His nostrils flared as he watched me, and his mouth dropped open slightly. But it was the expression on his face that undid me. The cool mask was gone, along with the doubt and pain that had broken through earlier. All that was left was raw, unfiltered desire.