by Sarah Morgan
Excitement bubbled up inside her and she tried desperately to squash it down.
* * *
‘How does it stay in the sky? Where are all the other passengers?’ Max bounced in his seat, so excited that he was finding it impossible to sit still. ‘Are we in Italy yet?’
Stefano watched him with amusement. ‘There are no other passengers because this plane is owned by my family, we’re not in Italy yet and we stay in the sky because—’ He broke off and exhaled slowly. ‘I don’t know what level of explanation is suitable for a seven-year-old.’
‘Just tell me,’ Max said earnestly. ‘If it’s too complicated, I’ll say so.’
Listening to Stefano talk about thrust and lift, Liv smiled to herself. It was utter bliss to allow someone else the privilege of delivering simple answers to complicated questions.
Max was transfixed. ‘And what happens if—?’
‘That’s enough, Max.’ Liv intervened finally. ‘You’ve been firing questions at Stefano since we took off from the airport. Aren’t you tired? Wouldn’t you like a nap?’
‘Babies nap. I’m seven, Mum.’ Max gave her a pitying look and then slipped his hand into Stefano’s. ‘What are we going to do when we land? Are we going to the mountains straight away? Will there be enough snow to build a snowman? Can I go sledging?’
‘You can do all those things.’ Stefano glanced at his watch. ‘Providing that we are not delayed.’ He stretched his legs out in front of him and Liv quickly looked away, wishing that every movement he made didn’t remind her of the night of the ball.
She really needed to get herself under control before she met his family, otherwise she was going to embarrass both of them.
* * *
As Stefano drove the last few kilometres towards the chalet, Max was bouncing in his seat.
‘I didn’t know this much snow existed anywhere. In London we just have a tiny bit, never enough for a snowman. It’s all over the roads and the roofs and it’s higher than me.’ His tone was awed as he gazed around him. ‘Now I see why you had to use a four-wheel drive.’
‘The Ferrari is not designed for winter in the mountains.’ Stefano took another hairpin bend and slowed down. ‘We’re here.’
In her mind, Liv had imagined a tiny log cabin but the home in front of her was something entirely different. A traditional wooden chalet with a sloping roof buried under at least a foot of snow, it was sheltered to one side by tall fir trees and surrounded by a beautifully carved wooden balcony. Beneath them in the valley she could see the sparkling lights of the village and a church.
‘It’s stunning.’
‘The village is pretty crowded at this time of year, so being up here away from the hordes is a good thing. But we’ll go down tomorrow and I’ll show you around.’ He parked the car and switched off the engine. ‘Max will like it. Horse-drawn sleighs, ice skating—pretty much a child’s heaven.’
And an adult’s heaven too, Liv thought wistfully as she jumped down from the car. It was easily the most beautiful, peaceful place she’d ever seen. There was no sound apart from the soft crunch as their feet broke through the fragile crust of snow and the occasional muffled thud as lumps of snow fell from the heavily laden trees onto the ground below.
She breathed in, loving the smell of woodsmoke and pine trees. The cold air stung her cheeks and Liv gave a little shiver as she reached out her arms to lift Max down from the car.
‘Mum, have you seen the snow?’ Max was almost incoherent with excitement and Liv smiled.
‘I’ve seen it. In fact I’m standing in it and my feet are cold. Hurry up.’
Stefano swung two of the cases out of the boot. ‘Most of these snowdrifts are probably deeper than you are tall so don’t wander off.’
For a man who didn’t have children he was remarkably in tune with the way children thought. And then she remembered that he worked in the emergency department and was constantly exposed to the consequences of a child’s need to explore and push the boundaries.
‘Can we build a snowman now?’ Max bent down and started to scoop snow into his palms. ‘This is awesome.’ He straightened and Liv caught the mischievous look in his eye too late to avoid the inevitable snowball.
She gasped and closed her eyes as a freezing shower of snow smacked into her hair and trickled down her neck. ‘Oh my goodness, that’s freezing! Max you are in serious trouble now!’ Her eyes glinted and she stooped and gathered her own ball of snow while Max squealed in delighted terror.
Giggling like a child, Liv carefully lobbed the snowball into the middle of his back, where she knew it would cause the least damage in terms of wet and cold. Then she caught Stefano’s gaze and smiled. ‘Sorry. I’m as bad as he is, I know. It’s just that neither of us have seen snow like this before. It’s like waking up in the middle of a fairy-tale.’
But the best part of the fairy-tale was being here with him.
The door of the chalet suddenly opened sending shafts of bright light across the snow. There was a chorus of welcome and then suddenly there were people everywhere and they were engulfed by hugging, kissing, laughter and lots of unintelligible Italian.
Overwhelmed, Max dropped the snow he’d been holding and shrank against Liv. She slid an arm round him, feeling equally daunted by the noisy exuberance of Stefano’s extremely large family. Two big dogs bounded towards them and Stefano spoke a sharp command in Italian. Both of them skidded to a halt, sending soft snow showering everywhere. Then they whimpered and sat, watching him expectantly.
‘Are they friendly?’ Still holding onto Liv, Max gazed at the dogs in fascination and Stefano dropped to his haunches next to him.
‘Sì, they are friendly. Put your hand out and let them smell you.’
Max stuck his hand out and both dogs sidled towards him and licked him frantically, their tails sending more snow flying in all directions. ‘Ew!’ Giggling and cringing at the same time, Max jerked his hand away. ‘That’s so wet. It’s gross.’ But he was enchanted by the dogs, and the animals were enough to break the ice.
‘This is all a bit much for you, I’m so sorry.’ A dark-haired woman with a warm smile pulled Liv towards her and kissed her on both cheeks. ‘It’s just that we don’t see enough of Stefano. You’re very welcome. I’m his sister, Isabella.’ She smiled at Max. ‘The dogs are Leo and Angelo. Everyone else can be introduced at some other point. It’s freezing out here. Let’s go inside.’
* * *
Dinner was a noisy, lengthy affair with simultaneous conversations and much friendly argument and disagreement.
Stefano’s father, Bernardo, sat at the head of the table watching over the proceedings like a benign monarch. Occasionally Liv caught his warm, approving gaze and she wondered exactly what Stefano had said about their relationship.
‘In Italy we have a saying,’ Stefano told her dryly as he handed her a plate of food, ‘Natale con i tuoi, Pasqua con i vuoi—which roughly translated means, Christmas with the family, Easter with who you like. Food is an important part of the Lucarelli family Christmas. I hope your appetite is healthy.’
But she wasn’t part of his family, was she?
Feeling slightly awkward, Liv smiled at his father. ‘I hope we’re not intruding too much on your celebrations.’
‘The biggest celebration is that my son has brought a lovely woman home for Christmas.’ He lifted his glass and Stefano said something soft in Italian but the older man simply smiled and drank deeply.
Captivated by his warm, demonstrative family, Liv ate and watched the family dynamics.
Stefano’s grandmother was in charge of the kitchen with Isabella and two of the female cousins were also roped in to help.
Liv noticed that one of them—was her name Donatella?—kept casting shy, dreamy looks in Stefano’s direction but he didn’t seem to notice because he was occupied in an argument with his father which seemed to be about whether or not they should buy an ailing local company.
‘No business at the tabl
e,’ Isabella said sharply, putting plates laden with food in front of them, ‘this is Christmas. We don’t talk business at Christmas.’
The meal was spectacular and Liv was fascinated by the interaction between everyone at the table. It felt good to be part of a large noisy group. And it was good for Max.
He was seated between Stefano’s twin nephews and was happily occupied improving their English.
‘We have Father Christmas,’ he said solemnly. ‘What do you have?’
‘Babo Natale,’ one of the boys said. ‘And La Befana, she brings us presents in January.’
Suddenly horrified, Max looked at Liv. ‘How will Father Christmas know I’m here? What if he takes my presents to our old flat?’
Visibly moved, Isabella put her hand on her heart, murmured something in Italian and then shot out of her seat and hugged Max tightly. ‘He will know you are here,’ she said firmly. ‘We will hang up a sock, yes? And write him a note—in English and Italian just to be sure. Why don’t you go and play now? My boys will show you their toys.’ Isabella stood up, waved the children away from the table and then glanced at the fire. ‘We need another log and that’s man’s work.’ She looked pointedly at her brother and he gave a faint smile and rose to his feet.
‘I’ll go then, shall I?.’ He held out a hand to Liv. ‘Come with me. I’ll show you the rest of the chalet.’
Liv followed him down two flights of stairs to a basement and then out into the crisp night air. ‘I love the smell of woodsmoke. And I love your family. You’re very lucky.’
‘I thought you might be feeling completely overwhelmed.’ He hauled her into his arms and curved his hands over her bottom. ‘They are noisy and interfering.’
‘I think they’re lovely. And they love you.’ It was exciting, being on her own with him, even if only for a moment. The air was electric and she knew from the glitter in his eyes that he was as aroused as she was. Trying to keep herself in check, she chose a neutral subject. ‘Donatella is sweet. She adores you, that’s obvious.’
He stilled. ‘She’s very young,’ he said carefully. ‘And I’m hoping that she will soon get the message.’
What message? Liv was about to question him further when he brought his mouth down on hers and kissed her hard.
Forgetting everything except the way he made her feel, she kissed him back, oblivious to the cold and the peal of church bells from the village below.
He cared, she thought to herself, her head swimming dizzily. Surely he cared?
* * *
Liv woke on Christmas Eve to bright blue skies. Fresh snow had fallen overnight and there was no longer any sign of their footprints of the night before. Branches sagged under the weight of the snow and the valley below them looked as though it had been covered by a thick layer of icing.
Hearing squeals from outside, Liv dressed quickly, relieved that she’d followed Stefano’s instructions and purchased some suitable clothes. At some point she was going to have to think about paying him back, but for now she was determined to enjoy the moment.
Pulling on her boots, she stepped outside and saw Max stretching up to put a hat on a large, fat snowman. Isabella and the twins were helping and snow flew through the air with predictable regularity, covering all three boys in soft white clumps.
‘Mum, come and see!’ Max stamped his boots in the snow and pressed two dark glossy pebbles into the snowman’s ‘face’. ‘Isn’t he amazing?’
‘We think he looks like Stefano,’ Isabella said cheerfully, winking at Liv. ‘He always looks grumpy in the mornings.’ Leaving the children to finish off the snowman, she wrapped her scarf more firmly round her throat and walked over to Liv. ‘Did you sleep?’
‘Oh yes.’ Liv pushed her hands into her pockets. ‘Better than ever before.’
‘I always sleep well in the mountains.’ Isabella breathed in the cold air and smiled. ‘Can I interest you in some serious shopping? Cortina is a shopaholic’s paradise, I can assure you.’
Liv shook her head. ‘I’d love to see the village but my budget won’t stretch to shopping.’
‘Stefano will pay,’ Isabella said dismissively, knocking snow from the toe of her soft leather boot. ‘It’s the least he can do given that you’ve come all this way just to solve his problems.’
Liv looked at her. ‘His problems?’
‘You must have noticed Donatella.’ Isabella rolled her eyes. ‘I mean, she can’t take her eyes off him. I warned Stefano three weeks ago that she is as much in love with him as ever. To be honest, I even wondered whether he might not come this year, because he hates being cornered by women, but Stefano always finds a solution to everything. Clearly, he decided that bringing you would solve everyone’s problems.’
‘Really?’ Liv’s mouth was dry.
‘Yes, well…’ Isabella looked awkward. ‘He did tell me that you’d lost your home. I hope you don’t mind. We weren’t gossiping or anything—Stefano never gossips. Clearly you’ve done each other a favour.’
‘Yes.’ Somehow Liv managed to form the words. ‘We have.’
‘You’re shivering.’ Isabella frowned. ‘Should we go inside?’
‘No. In fact I might go for a walk,’ Liv said quickly, buttoning up her coat. ‘It’s so pretty and I haven’t had a chance to take a proper look yet.’
Was it true?
Had he really invited her to spend Christmas with his family just to keep Donatella at a distance?
Isabella seemed about to say something else but there was another snowball fight starting between the children and she hurried across to sort them out.
Taking advantage of the opportunity to escape, Liv walked as quickly as she could up the snow-covered road, suddenly feeling terribly, terribly cold. Although the air was freezing she knew that the chill inside her had more to do with Stefano than the weather.
Why hadn’t he told her the truth?
Why had he let her believe that he’d actually wanted her to join him for Christmas?
Why had he let her hope and dream?
She remembered the way Donatella had looked at him and the way that he’d suddenly stilled when she’d mentioned the fact that Donatella clearly liked him.
Oh dear God—she’d been a fool. She’d done it again, taken her dreams and somehow managed to entangle them with reality. She’d turned the world into what she wanted it to be, rather than what it really was.
She’d seen what she’d wanted to see.
Stefano was a man, wasn’t he? They’d shared amazing sex and for him their relationship was nothing more than that. And it wasn’t really his fault. She was the one who had turned amazing sex into something warmer and deeper. She’d been stupid and careless and—
Blinded by tears, she stumbled into the deep snow at the side of the road and suddenly she just wanted to sink into the cold, white powder and sob. She felt as though she was dying inside and realised that the loss of her dream was much, much more devastating than anything else that had ever happened to her.
‘Liv!’ Stefano’s strong voice carried through the frozen air and Liv stood still, wanting to run but knowing that there was nowhere to run to.
He was wearing sturdy boots, his strong legs were encased in soft fleece trousers and a thick jumper brushed against his darkened jaw. Liv’s heart bumped frantically as she watched him approach because he was impossibly, shockingly good-looking and one glance at his face turned her limbs to liquid.
But she shouldn’t feel that way, should she?
Not any more.
She felt a flash of desperation. If he came any closer he might see how she felt because she was hopeless at hiding her feelings. She couldn’t face him.
But where was she going to go?
With no choice but to wait for him to catch up with her, she took a few deep breaths and told herself that she’d coped with rejection before and she would do it again.
‘What are you doing?’ His tone was forceful. ‘Where are you going?’
Liv co
ncentrated on the snow at her feet. ‘For a walk. I needed to be on my own for a while.’
‘Why?’ His hand closed over hers like a vice. ‘Accidenti, you are as white as a sheet. What has happened?’
‘Nothing.’
‘Nothing doesn’t send you stumbling into a snowdrift,’ he said grimly, pulling her towards him with firm hands. ‘You’re upset and I want to know why.’
She felt like too much of a fool to admit the truth. He’d laugh, wouldn’t he? He’d laugh if she admitted that she’d thought they shared something more than hot sex. He’d tell her that she was foolish and old-fashioned and that the world just wasn’t like that any more.
‘I’m just—Nothing.’
Stefano muttered something under his breath in Italian and then took her face in his hands. ‘One of the things I love about you is that you are so straightforward and honest. You say what you think and I like that. Don’t change now. Tell me what’s wrong.’
Perhaps if he hadn’t used the word ‘love’ she might have managed to hold it all in, but something pinged inside her and she pulled away, engulfed by an emotion that she couldn’t control.
‘All right, I’ll tell you.’ Her breath was coming in rapid pants, as if she’d been running instead of standing still. ‘I just—I can’t do this. I can’t do this any more. The sex was amazing, yes. But I just can’t have sex without wanting…more. And I know that’s my fault, not yours, but I still think you could have been a little bit more honest with me about the reason you invited me here.’
His eyes narrowed. ‘Why do you think I invited you here?’
Liv blinked rapidly to clear her vision. ‘I thought you wanted me to meet your family and then I discover that actually you invited me here because you need to keep Donatella at a distance.’
Stefano stilled and his hands dropped to his sides. ‘Who told you that?’
‘It doesn’t matter.’ Liv felt a stab of pain that he hadn’t denied it. ‘And do you know what? The reason we’re here shouldn’t matter either. It’s a beautiful, magical place and Max is having a wonderful time and he’s so, so happy playing with your nephews in the snow. I should be relieved and delighted and I am, but…’ Her words tangled and her emotions raw, she took a breath. ‘None of this is your fault. It’s me. It’s all me. I mean, it should have been obvious to me from the start that our relationship was just about sex, I mean you have…’ she waved her hand despairingly ‘…all this money, and what do I have? I live in a tiny flat in a grotty part of London with my son and you live in this flashy apartment with more security than a palace and a lifestyle that makes me drool with envy.’
