Sleepless

by Cara Dee

  And what had I done for our anniversary? I’d had his car fixed…

  Zach’s kid brother was good with cars and fixed up rusty wheels for kicks, so he’d only charged for the parts and a new paint job. The blue paint with the orange, shitty graffiti and rust spots was now metallic black, there was a new battery, and Thea had a new car seat.

  “You didn’t fuck that up,” Zach told me. Then he looked over his shoulder again. “Baby, what did you say about Dominic’s anniversary gift? You called it something.”

  Henry squinted in thought. “Ah—practical romance.” He looked at me. “I hope you’re not doubting yourself, dear. We’re thoughtful in different ways, and you’re a practical young man.”

  “That’s the thing, though.” I turned in my seat and scratched my forehead. “I wanna do this his way. That’s why I keep going back and forth. I can’t decide what to do.”

  “I realize this will go in one ear and out the other,” Henry answered with wry amusement, “but Adrian will love any proposal coming from you.”

  I smirked, gesturing how that went in one ear, and I whistled as it went out the other. Didn’t matter that Adrian had told me he’d loved the surprise. It wasn’t romantic the way he was.

  “Okay, so let’s toss ideas at each other,” Zach suggested, only to let out a whoop and fist-pump the air. “I did it!” He checked the mirror and batted his eyes with new, insanely long lashes. He looked too fucking funny in sweats, bed head, and fake eyelashes. “Now I just gotta do it all over again, and this time with makeup on.”

  Henry laughed softly. “Darling, may I suggest you wait until your eyes don’t make you look like you’ve smoked pot all night?”

  “Not the worst idea you’ve had,” Zach conceded. “All right, Dominic, I’m all yours. How about a night in the city? Henry and I aren’t going back to LA for a couple weeks, so we could watch Thea.”

  “We’d love to have her,” Henry said.

  I hesitated. “Teach’s not the biggest fan of Seattle. I thought of it, but I don’t know.”

  Zach made a rolling motion to keep the ideas coming. “You wanna include Thea?”

  I shook my head. Thea was already a part of the gift I was planning on giving Adrian: I wanted the proposal to be just ours. Well…oh, fucking hell. “Here’s my problem. I feel like an idiot sometimes, so I want it to be just for us. No one else around to watch me fumble, but he’s different there. He prefers quiet evenings at home and won’t hesitate to cancel plans if he’s not feelin’ it, no bones about it. But at the same time, he loves to be surrounded by family and friends for special occasions.”

  “Hmm.” Zach chewed on a thumbnail, absently eyeing the coffee table. “What if you made a day of it? A proposal doesn’t have to be all about the question. You could take a trip down memory lane.”

  “I’m listenin’.” I sat forward a bit.

  There was no napping for me that day. Zach had inspired me to go in another direction, not really following what he’d suggested, but yeah, something different. We lost hours on the couch, then had a late lunch before I had a bunch of errands to run. First, I had to go back home and change clothes and grab my savings. Then I went to the store and picked up what Adrian had put on the list. Next was Thea. After school, we went to McDonald’s before I had to go all the way back up to Westslope to drop her off at Willow’s.

  My li’l gangsta was still chewing on her last nugget as Willow opened the door. She lived in the part of Westslope that was mildly populated. It was a street of red-painted two-story homes, and she shared one with her aunt. Her grandmother was there all the time too, and today, so were two of Willow’s brothers.

  Thea had met them all by now, so she just skipped inside and waved to everyone.

  “We’ll pick her up tonight.”

  Willow nodded.

  I cocked my head. “You aight, hon?”

  She hadn’t been nonverbal around me for months.

  She nodded again, only to shake her head. “Lias and his ex are fucking up my plans.” Lias would be the youngest of her older brothers. “I picked out Evelina as my sister-in-law when I was twelve, and now she’s decided to date some Englishman who may or may not make her move to fucking England. Fucking England, Dominic. I gotta fix this somehow. She and Lias were together forever, and they broke up because they’re fucking dumb and insecure.”

  I pursed my lips to kill my smirk, and I handed over Thea’s backpack. “People, huh? They’re such cunts.”

  She huffed and nodded. “Cunts, yeah. Okay, go. We’re having broccoli soup for supper. Bye.”

  I laughed to myself as the door was closed in my face.

  For the record, this was the second month Willow had been on her broccoli soup obsession. She had it for dinner every fucking day.

  I dug the shit outta the little emo chick, but if Thea took after Willow, Adrian was gonna suffer. He managed well with leftovers; last night’s dinner was always the next day’s lunch, but the man craved variety. So with food obsessions being so common among autistic people, shit was bound to get more interesting.

  Getting back in the car, I crossed the river once more to return to Zach and Henry. But this time, it was only to drop off my savings. Since Teach and I sat down and went through our bank statements together every month, a withdrawal for two rings would look suspect. That was why I’d saved cash, sometimes from tips, sometimes spare change and small withdrawals, in a shoebox at the back of our closet.

  When Zach opened the door for the second time that day, I held out a brown paper bag filled with dough.

  His bloodshot eyes flashed with amusement. “I feel like I’m supposed to hand over a couple bags of cocaine or something.”

  “You’d be a shit hustler,” I chuckled. “Nine hundred and forty-five dollars.” For two rings, engraving, shipping, and tax. It left me with approximately two hundred bucks for the other expenses on the day I proposed.

  He nodded and accepted the bag. “The rings are still in the cart. I’ll order them right away.”

  “Aight, thanks.” It put nerves in my stomach. I was actually gonna ask Teach to marry me; he’d be trapped. Zach had helped me plan most of the proposal stuff, and he’d offered his advice when we looked on rings online. Two were picked out. Soon, they’d be here. Rings—fucking engagement rings. Holy fuck.

  A year and a half ago, I lived on the streets.

  “He’ll say yes, man,” Zach assured me.

  “He fucking better.” I swallowed hard.

  I needed that inked, bearded nerd to be mine for as long as I lived. I just hoped he didn’t wonder why he should say yes, ’cause fuck if I knew.

  Chapter 2

  Adrian Dalton

  “Oh, come on, Mr. D!” Gabe turned around and kicked at a trash can, and I sidestepped to let two girls into the Quad. “What, so I can’t go in now?”

  “Of course you can, but you need to fork over the pills.” I returned to leaning against the doorway, and I folded my arms over my chest. “I’m not backing down on this, Gabe.”

  Across the little courtyard, Dominic was pulling into the parking lot. Watching him park was always a treat; my temperamental New Yorker believed yelling at the nearby cars would help. This time he got lucky, and he parked somewhat straight.

  I slid my gaze back to my student. “What’s it going to be, Gabe? Maggie brought those banana chips you like, and I could help you study for your test.”

  He didn’t answer me, standing there stewing in his anger, and side-eyed Dominic as he came closer.

  Thursday wasn’t my favorite day. Late afternoon was the first chance I had to speak to Dominic, and we were surrounded by children. It made for a lukewarm hello.

  “Sup.” He eyed Gabe before stepping close to me. He slipped his hand into mine, and I dipped down for a quick kiss.

  “I missed you today,” I said quietly.

  “You don’t know half of it, Teach.” He looked tired, which didn’t surprise me. Releasing my hand, he focused on
Gabe. “Yo. Quit whinin’. You know the drill. Hand over the goods to Adrian and go inside. It’s fuckin’ brick out hea’.”

  Gabe glared at him. “I got fifty bucks worth!”

  Dominic scratched his nose, then pointed at him. “You bitching about not being paid doin’ a felony? For real? Get the fuck out.” He approached Gabe and made a gimme motion. I merely watched him work his magic. His approach with these teenagers never failed. “What’chu got?”

  Gabe was surrendering, reluctance and frustration rolling off of him. “Same old. You fucking owe me.”

  We ignored that, and Dominic handed over a Ziploc bag to me. Same old, indeed. My life had been invaded by Adderall lately, and Camas High and the Quad had joined forces to get the drugs out of our classrooms. Two parents’ meetings and a minor search party for parents who hadn’t shown up had given us enough signatures to get cracking on all juniors and seniors. While the number of students who’d been questionably diagnosed with ADD or ADHD was staggering, it had nothing on the number of students who took the stimulants.

  Gabe had no business walking around with twenty Adderalls in his pocket.

  He walked past me with a huff and made a beeline for his buddies over by the pool table.

  Dominic prevented me from following by hooking two fingers into the belt loops of my jeans, and he pulled me down for a better kiss. A thorough, deep, needy one. I shuddered and stroked his jaw.

  “Maybe I can survive the next few hours now,” he muttered, out of breath, and adjusted my glasses for me.

  I smiled and took another kiss. I kept telling him Wednesday was too much for him, first a full eight hours at the Quad, then several hours throughout the night as security at a nightclub in the Valley, and did he listen to me? Not one bit.

  We went our separate ways for a while, Dominic always focusing on the rowdiest boys who came here. He wanted to know what was going on out there on the streets, and I loved him even more for his dedication to intervene before other things could. It was a never-ending battle against drugs, theft, and other petty crimes that eventually led to far worse.

  In the little café corner of the Quad, I helped teenagers study, some of them my own students.

  “Adrian?”

  I looked up from the book I was helping a girl with and found Maggie by the first set of doors leading outside. “Yes?”

  She nodded toward the exit, and I took the hint.

  “You can read this, Tina.” I tapped a finger to the next section in her book. “We’ll be discussing it in class tomorrow.” Then I left my seat and followed Maggie outside.

  I was pleasantly surprised to see Jon, Gabe’s older brother. He stood right outside, shoulders bunched up in his leather jacket, smoking a cigarette. It’d started raining a little in the last hour.

  “Jon, come inside.” I opened the door wider for him.

  Maggie returned to the others.

  “Nah, it’s cool.” Jon took a last drag from his smoke and flicked it away. “Is Gabe here?”

  I nodded. “I’m sure he’d like to see you. How’re you doing?”

  A lot had changed since he was my student a few years ago. Most importantly, he was clean and slowly but surely patching together his relationships with his mother and younger brother. It was that younger brother who needed Jon right now—and his guidance.

  “I’m okay, I guess.” Jon shrugged with one shoulder. “I’m staying at a friend’s in Vancouver. There’s no jobs in this shitty town. Unless, um, you’ve heard anything?”

  I smiled faintly and retrieved my wallet from my back pocket. “I keep a list for you. Some of these positions have probably been filled by now—it’s been a while since you came around.” I handed him a note with a dozen or so numbers to call. “Give them my name when you call, and go with Casey Teague first. I talked to him last week, and he’s looking for a group leader to help with the volunteers on the park project.”

  “Thanks, Mr. D. I appreciate it.” He scanned the list, his fingers trembling from the cold.

  “You sure you don’t want to come in? There’s food.”

  He shook his head and pocketed the list. “I’m good. I wanna get my shit together before I see Gabe again. I don’t want him to be embarrassed.”

  These young men and women knew pain, neglect, and suffering, of which I only felt a phantom stab in the chest, and considering how much that hurt, I couldn’t begin to imagine what they went through.

  “I don’t think embarrassment is even on his radar,” I murmured. “He’s at the age where he feels the need to provide more at home, and you remember what it was like to choose between school and helping your mother.”

  I’d never sat in on Gabe’s counseling sessions, but it was common knowledge around here that the boys’ father had left their mother with a lot of debt to pay off.

  “Soon as I get a local job, I’ll be around so much he gets sick of me.” He tested a smirk, albeit weakly. I felt for the boy. “Did I tell you last time I’ve been clean nine months now? Well, almost ten.”

  “That’s incredible, Jonathan,” I told him, giving his shoulder a squeeze. “I’m very proud of you. And, all the more reason to let us help you in any way we can. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help, especially not when you’re working this hard to get back on track.”

  He cracked a grin and laughed a little through his nose. “You haven’t changed one bit. Always lecturing.”

  I gave him a light smack upside the head and failed to hide my amusement. “I may have heard that once or twice before.”

  At the end of the night, as always, we divvied up the leftovers and sent the kids home with soup, snacks, and bread. The stragglers were usually those who remained for that reason. Most kids tended to head home earlier.

  I packed an extra container for Gabe, and Dominic handed him a slip he’d taken from the bulletin board outside the grocery store. Someone was looking for help to mow their lawn.

  Gabe grimaced and pocketed the slip. “It’s always shit pay at those gigs.”

  “The upside is it won’t add to your criminal record,” I replied mildly. “Let’s stay out of juvie, shall we?”

  “And don’t be late on Sunday,” Dominic told him. “I know where you live.”

  I had nearly forgotten about Sunday. It was going to be…interesting.

  “We’ll see if I can afford to go there,” Gabe said, annoyed. “Someone took my stash.”

  Dominic was undeterred. “Nice try. You’ll get free food for a couple days, and you can come to my office tomorrow and get a bus pass. You’ll be there on Sunday, end’a fuckin’ story.”

  I half sat on the picnic table behind us in the café area and pinched my lips together. Dominic was taking on his role here splendidly—if only he could see the difference he made. Maggie’s husband had given him a trial run at first, for which I couldn’t fault him. It’d been a risk to hire Dominic. But two months of part-time work was all it’d taken for everyone to see the incredible asset he was and what he contributed to our community.

  Twenty minutes later, as we were walking toward our car, I picked his brain about Sunday, this idea of his still seeming quite uncharacteristic for my city boy.

  “It’s fishing, not Amish butter churning,” he chuckled. “We used to go fishing in Brooklyn all the time when I was a kid.”

  “Really?” That was surprising.

  “Well…” He made a face and tossed me the car key. “For the most part, we’d hit up the fishermen when they came in, steal some stripers, and take our bikes over to Brighton Beach and sell the fish to the Russians.”

  See, that was plausible. I coughed around a laugh and got in behind the wheel.

  “We went fishing a few times too,” he defended. “The way I see it, the kids will get outta the house for a minute, make themselves useful, and bring somethin’ home.”

  “It’s a fantastic idea, sweetheart.” I didn’t want him to think otherwise, and this was only one of the activities he’d su
ggested at the last staff meeting. Before each one, he researched his proposals thoroughly and did the math to make sure it went along with the modest budget he’d been given.

  There was a savvy businessman lurking underneath the surface in Dominic. He’d once joked that the Quad was an ass he was happy to whore out, and though the joke had fallen flat for the dull audience I’d provided, I understood where he was coming from. Growing up, if he didn’t find the solutions, he didn’t eat. Now he was adapting that way of thinking to our community, and it was working.

  I could watch him for hours to see how his mind worked, and it was making me self-conscious lately. I had to remind myself constantly that this was all very new to him—and would be for quite some time—and I’d be best to pace myself so I didn’t lose him. As long as I practiced patience, I believed we’d be on the same page in life sooner rather than later.

  In a few years, maybe we could expand our family. Maybe we could get married. There were some lovely fixer-uppers on the outskirts of Camas… I shook my head and refocused on the road. Passing Downtown, I took the exit toward Westslope and sent Dominic a sideways glance.

  He was drumming his fingers absently along the door handle, and his eyes were closed.

  So rough around the edges, yet so vulnerable. A man of contradictions. A hard shell to crack, even as he wore his heart on his sleeve. All that attitude and a strong mind, despite the fact that his insecurities shone brightly. It was no wonder I’d fallen for him so fast. I hadn’t stood a damn chance. Everything he did and said called to me in the most visceral ways.

  “By the way, we’re goin’ on a hike with Calvert and his man on Saturday,” Dominic murmured sleepily. “They gotta check so wheelchairs can go on the trail or whatever.”

  “All right.” I nodded slowly, passing the strip mall and sad little church in Westslope. “What time? Are we bringing anything?”