I look at my phone and see Lily’s text. She’ll call me at nine. Eliza and Sheila are her Security this morning and she’s in meetings in the afternoon. I have an hour. I pull in a Security bike and start changing the parts out. The new bullet proof skin works on the HS bikes and we started switching the regular Security last month. After this one I just have their spares. Running the garage has been good for me, but I’m not thrilled with the repetitive shit like this. Trapper and Tim help, but they get bored too. This is my week on the shit work so I take it like they do and just get it done.
At nine I call Lily, too impatient to wait for her call. After hellos I get right to it. “I finally talked to her last night and have some concerns. Sheila is never touched. Alex doesn’t even hug her. She drinks to sleep and her nightmares are of Eliza, but the flashback was the rape.”
She takes a minute then answers. “I’m glad you talked and it was a real conversation. She isn’t opening up to anyone but Taylor, and he’s got his own shit to get through.” I nod like she can see me. “I never noticed her not being touched. I’ll watch for that now. She’s always been Badass but the rape may have given people the idea that she doesn’t need their hands on her. It should be just the opposite. Simple touch would give her reassurances that she’s still the same Sheila that everyone loves. This could be the reason she isn’t moving forward from the rape. From what Little Ben said, she was hit with a flashback. The noise from the range is crazy loud so someone coming from behind her, without warning, would scare the shit out of her.”
I’m waiting for the rest. “The nightmares are a little harder. Eliza’s story is hers to share. If Sheila told you about it still causing her nightmares I’m concerned, but I can’t go into those details. It’s been a long time for her to still have the nightmares and drinking to sleep will catch up with her. I’ll ask Dakota about the nightmares. Jeremy dulled memories for Aubrey, maybe Dakota can help with Sheila.”
“I can ask him when I see him today.”
“Okay. All of your concerns are valid Jax. Keep touching her and maybe it will spark a signal for everyone else. I’ll talk with Eliza and Jess to do the same. If you can get her to sleep without drinking do that. You talk to Dakota about the nightmares and I’ll talk to the therapist about the flashback. Just making them aware may give them enough to get something going for her. She’s unraveling right now and I don’t want to see her fall.”
“Yeah. Is there anything I need to stay away from or do besides touching her?”
“Keep talking to her and don’t come up behind her. Keep her from connecting that memory to you. This isn’t going to be easy for her, and pulling those memories forward in therapy may make it worse before it gets better. Watch that you aren’t giving her reason to see you when she’s scared. If you ever say I put her in a conversation with the word scared, I’ll deny it.”
I smile. “Thanks Lily.”
“Call if you have questions or need help. We all love Sheila, she’s been taking care of us forever, it’s nice to have her back for a change.”
I’m glad her girls are with her. “I will. Thanks.”
I sit thinking about what she said. She doesn't know about the no contact order and really, it’s not much more than I had, but it’s something and she’ll get word to the therapist. She doesn’t let shit slide. I think about Dakota. We’re together at the house with dogs today. I text him asking for a few minutes before the dogs. He answers right back. He’ll be there at quarter of. I call Patches and tell him what’s happening and ask what I should do. He’ll email me a list. I’m actually excited I finally get to see this list he’s been sending everyone for years. I’ll take any help I can get.
I take care of a customer and get back to the bays pulling his bike in. Jared comes in and helps making me smile. He’s a fuckin’ wiz at anything he touches. I’m glad he likes touching the bikes.
***
Sheila
“He’s cute,” Nancy says as he walks out.
He’s fuckin’ gorgeous with his golden hair and almost golden colored eyes, but I don’t correct her. He thought I wouldn’t feel the weight difference with no bullets in my gun. I’m sure he would. Something else to think about. Right now my head is swimming and I don’t want to think. It feels good to have Nancy here making breakfast. She squeezes my arm and I smile. “I’m glad you finally got the chance to talk last night.” She’s making breakfast for me. I love her. I love anyone that cooks me food, but she’s special – her food is always the best.
“We did. He said he left because I was too young. Now he wants me to know he’s here when I get my shit cleaned up.”
She smiles at me then turns back to the eggs. “That’s good. I like him looking out for you. Jax is a good man.”
I nod. He is trusted by the MC Brothers and the Princes. I know he runs the guns but it’s never talked about. It’s not a job I’d do, but it’s always been part of the MC and now the Princes.
Tiny comes in and sits beside me. I smile when his arm goes over my shoulder. I lean into him before he pulls me over. “I miss you Little Shooter. Don’t go finding any more kids for us. I’ve got enough of them to worry about.”
I laugh. “I didn’t go looking for Judy, she found us. I’m glad you’re taking her. She needs someone looking out for her and teaching her about family. From what she says, she wasn’t treated good – even by her mother. Is Jason going back with you?” I’m going to miss him if he does.
“No. He’ll be coming up more often and we’ll come down, but he doesn’t want to leave you and the Club.” I’m relieved and he notices. “You’re going to do fine Sheila. Little Ben isn’t worried and Dakota smiles so it will be good.” He’s such a worry wart for someone so big and scary looking, it's funny he's reassuring me.
“Yeah. How is Sandy doing with riding?” She’s cute, she called me the other day to say she made her first jump.
He laughs. “She isn’t you, but she’s learning. I got her riding gear to keep her from getting all scraped up. She picked fuckin’ pink.” He’s disgusted, making me laugh. “All the kids are doing good. Diego and José are getting ready to move out. Diego says he’s too old to live at home. Pres got a house for the older kids. It’s like LB did here for Jason, Aaron and José when he’s down. It will be good for them.”
“It will. Jason loves having his own space.” Nancy puts plates in front of us. “Thank you. I love when you’re here.”
She laughs. “You love anyone that cooks for you.”
“But I love you more.” Tiny squeezes my shoulder then lets me eat.
***
At the Center, I’m ready when our relief shows. Everyone is being weird. I don’t know what happened, but I’m good with being off everyone’s radar today.
We’re on PD and patrol until we’re called to a domestic dispute. Eliza throws her lights on and we jet over to the next town. At the scene an officer is in the doorway with her gun drawn. Eliza moves fast onto the porch. I go to the back and walk right in. Making my way to the yelling I see a little boy hiding under the table. I tell him to go to his room and hide until I come get him. He moves against the wall toward the back and I see red. Knowing how to move like that is learned. I aim my gun forward and walk right up behind the pussy not stopping until my gun meets his head.
“One fuckin’ move and you're never a fuckin’ problem for her again.”
His head turns and Eliza kicks the gun out of his hand. She’s got wicked good aim with her feet. I’m always surprised by it. She pulls the woman away and points her gun at the pussy.
The woman begs her not to shoot him. Fuckin’ weak ass women. I shake my head and cuff him. “It was okay for your son to see him shoot you?” I pull his arms back and walk him out the door. The fuckin’ jerk is laughing. Eliza gives me a look.
When he’s in the PD truck I go back in and look for the boy while Eliza tries to get the woman to file a report. The kid is in his closet. “Hey little man, you can come out now.” He
jumps on me. I hold him for a second feeling his whole body shaking then carry him to the kitchen. “You want a drink?” While I pour him some milk, I see they don’t have much and I’m listening to Eliza hoping the woman takes the help. This kid is cute and too young to live in fear.
I hear Eliza talking about the Center and bring the boy out. “I made a friend,” I tell her so she knows we have ears listening.
“No better reason to take the hand than that.” Eliza looks at the woman and hands her a card. “Call Deirdre, she’ll get you squared and help with training or a job. They have a daycare set up special for women in need. They’re good and you can get what you need done.”
The woman takes the card and I know she isn’t calling. She takes her boy from me and says thanks in a way that tells us we’re dismissed.
As we’re walking out I look back at her. “Who called it in?” The little boy smiles, but the woman doesn’t say a word. Shit.
Eliza touches my arm as I reach to start my bike. “She isn’t going to take the hand, but she still needs help.”
“Yeah. They don’t have much food and are about out of milk.”
She nods and calls into dispatch. They’ll have someone meet us at the grocer. I smile heading into the town center. We shop quickly splitting the store in half. With a full cart we walk out to a group of Brothers. I expected a PD truck. Each bike takes a bag and they’re gone. Eliza laughs touching my arm again.
I smile at her. “Maybe they can change the woman’s mind.” I’ve done this run before so I know only one person talks while the others put the food away and leave something for the kid. She nods and we head back to the PD.
Eliza does the report while I go and watch the boards. This is bigger than Ops at Security. Each town has a set of boards controlled by one console. PD watches inner towns while Princes Surveillance watches the outside. Ops watches everything. I like Ops best. It’s hard to watch them all when they are split like this. Driscoll has two empty consoles. It used to be three were empty.
Strapper comes in smiling. “Hey She Dog. Good job with the pussy earlier. I like when they call you and Eliza. They should have named you Quick and Easy.”
I roll my eyes. “Thanks as long as I’m not Easy.”
He laughs hard, but it wasn’t that funny. “You coming to the Club tomorrow?”
I’m usually there when the Officers show so I nod.
“Have a beer with me.” He looks up at the boards. He’s a decent guy and we’ve ended up together a couple of times, but not since the rape. I hate even thinking the word.
“I have something going on.”
He looks at me surprised. “Who?”
“Does it matter?”
His eyes narrow setting off a bell in my head. “Who is it?” he demands.
I turn around and walk out. Who the fuck is he? He hasn’t said anything but hi to me in forever and now I owe him explanations? I hear him right behind me and spin pointing my gun at him. “Step it back and think Brother. I haven’t heard from you and owe you nothing.”
His hands go up and everyone is watching. Fuck. He nods. “You’re right, I was waiting for you to get over your little thing.”
I clench my jaw and stretch my finger. I want to shoot him for being an ass. “Consider me over it. Your compassion astounds me.”
I walk out putting my gun away. Fuckin’ jerk. ‘My little thing’.
I check out and find Eliza talking to Margie, the officer at the scene today. “I checked out. I have the Vets later; I’m getting an early dinner.”
She nods. “I’ll call in for Security.” Margie offers to partner with her. “I need Security either way,” Eliza tells her. I don't think she likes the idea of partnering with Margie, but she's never said why.
I start to walk away and she touches my arm. “Is everything okay?”
I look at Margie then back at her. “Yeah. I’m just getting dinner then heading to the house.” I keep walking.
I can’t get fuckin’ Strapper’s words out of my head. ‘My little thing’. It almost crushed me. It still has the power to wreck my fuckin’ life and he sweeps it all into ‘my little thing’ like it was an inconvenience for him. I ride to Security and switch out the bike for the Jeep then hit a drive thru and drive to the bluffs.
The fact that he was waiting for me to get over it pisses me off. With the Women’s Center right here and all the work we do there, you’d think he would have asked. If he was serious he would have done something, anything. Only the inner circle and my family ever show me concern. Even now. I smile thinking of Judy. I guess she’s my new sister. She hugs me like Alex used to. They don’t let go until they get their fill. It’s nice.
Then there’s Jax. He asked. Jason said he gave him information to help understand where Judy’s coming from. He wants to know where my head is so he can help. It took him forever, but he thought I was with Taylor. He still got information and is willing to wait until I clean up my act. He doesn’t hide the rape word. As much as I hate it, I can’t gloss over it. He didn’t. Look at what I did at the range. Jesus I could have killed the pussy and he didn’t run from the fuckin’ mess I made with that, he wanted to help.
Feeling calmer I throw my wrapper in the bag and drive to the house. The RA is in the kitchen with some of the women. They’re laughing about his need to clean every surface at least once a day.
When the therapist comes in we all sit. She talks then asks everyone to introduce themselves. When it’s my turn I tell them I’m not military but HS for the Princes and an officer for the Princes PD. The therapist is the only one that doesn’t know me, so no one says anything and we move on. Some of the women were in combat and have PTSD. That’s what Taylor has. The therapist suggests meeting them one on one or in a group for PTSD. They go for the group. She looks at me and asks me to join with that group. What?
“Why would I join that group? I don’t have PTSD.”
One woman asks if I’m in denial and they all laugh. I smile. The therapist isn’t letting it drop. “You don’t have flashbacks, moments you can’t account for? Reactions that are unreasonable?”
Fuck. That’s PTSD. “Just once. I have nightmares all the time, but it’s not of me.”
She looks at me and I want to crawl under a rock. Fuck this isn’t fun. She thinks I should talk to her about the PTSD meeting and the women tell me it will be fun. They all laugh about it, but I don’t think this is fuckin’ funny. I’m glad when we’re done. I walk out, but the therapist catches up to me.
“Sheila. Wait!”
I stop and wait but don’t turn around. “I want to make sure you’re not going to meetings that you don’t need to be in. Having a flashback once isn’t a PTSD diagnosis. I’m sorry if I made it sound that way, but I didn’t want to diminish the other women’s issues. I’m sorry if that was at your expense. A flashback is usually about something that happened to you not someone else.”
Feeling better I nod and look at her. “The flashback was about me; I was gang raped. The nightmares are about a friend and aren’t as easy to explain.”
She nods. “I see. It may be better if you meet separately. I think you’d benefit from the group, but you aren’t going through the same type of issues they are. You have a job, family, friends and are confident in who you are. They don’t have that.”
“I am here on behalf of the Princes and the Women’s Center. Lily asked me to help with an activity and to build a team like atmosphere for the women. I need to be here. I don’t have to talk. I’m not taking away from what they need and I’m not going to make them feel less because of what I do have.” She nods. “Maybe alone would be good. I have an order to get my life together and Prez will want progress reports. If I can’t do that in there, I need to do it some other way.”
She smiles. “Good. What times work for you?” We get times settled so I can see her twice a week and I drive home feeling pretty good. I do have a job, family, friends and I’m confident most of the time. It’s been a dec
ent day.
When the garage door opens I don’t see Jason’s bike. I’m surprised at the feeling it brings me. I shake it off and bring my trash in with my backpack.
Nancy cleaned the house before she left. I smile pulling my phone as I walk to Judy’s room. Yep she even changed the sheets. I talk to her getting the low down on everyone meeting Judy. I talk to Sandy then Judy and Diego. He’s excited about our new sister. He was the last to come into our house so this must feel good for him. I tell him he’s still ‘ours dweeb’ making him laugh then hang up.
I don’t even put it down and it rings. “Yeah.” I’m still smiling thinking its Diego telling me I’m a dweeb.
“Glad you’re smiling. You want me to come over there or are you coming here?”
“I’m on my way.” I pull my gun and change into jeans and a T-shirt. I brush my hair and see that I’m smiling. I didn’t know I was, but seeing it makes me laugh. I am a dweeb.
Chapter Four
Jax
She woke up screaming last night. It’s a sound I never want to hear again. Whatever happened to Eliza is bad. Dakota is seeing her today. Lily said Jeremy dulled Aubrey’s memories. I hope Dakota can do something with Sheila’s.
I get another cup as she comes into the kitchen. “You’re up early.”
“You running today?” I ask handing her a coffee.
I love that little half smile. “Yeah.”
“I’ll meet you at your house.”
She sits and watches me walk to the table. “Why are you running?”
“That’s where you’ll be.”
“If you’re not a runner it won’t be a fun time.” She’s cute.
I look at her eyes, she doesn’t have that haunted look. “I have a gym here. I run the treadmill every other day.”
“Thank God. I hate having to slow down for someone that doesn’t run.”
I don’t see her running with anyone. Who the fuck does she have to slow down for? I don’t ask for an answer. “Tonight I’m at the Club with the Officers. This will be the first time we go up together. Is that going to be a problem for you?”
Enforcer: Book Four (Princes of Prophecy) Page 5
