“I’m always there with the Officers. What do you mean together? I’m pretty good at getting myself from point A to point B.”
I have to laugh. “You’re probably a better rider than me. I meant us as a couple, together. You can ride yourself, with me, or take your Jeep. I don’t give a fuck how you get there.” I’d prefer riding with me, but I’m not asking her to give up that control. Yet.
She has a serious look on her face. “Look, you know no one has come near me. This statement you’re making is all on you. Are you sure you want to advertise an us right now? I’m a fuckin’ hot mess trying to clean up my shit. I don’t know how long it will take and any blowback from you being with anyone else is going to hit you hard. They’re all protective of me.”
If she only knew. “I’m not a kid going on his first date darlin’. There is no one else and won’t be. I told you – I’m done waiting. You thinking it’s all on me means you’re ready. I’ll take it. Go get changed. I’ll meet you at your house.”
She stands up and puts her cup in the sink. I smile looking straight ahead then I’m surprised. Her hand is on my shoulder. “I went right back to sleep. It was good. Thanks and I don’t like darlin’.” She walks out. I let my breath out and want to cheer. It’s the first time she’s touched me.
***
Sheila
I run my regular circuit and hit the beach. Lily is turning for her house and throws me chin. I smile as we pass her. I can’t help but smile. He kept my pace and hasn’t said a word. I like running with Jax. I’m relieved he wants to let the Brothers know. Lily had a problem with Little Ben always saying she’s his. I can see her point. Tonight is Jax saying he’s mine more than I’m his. I get to the end of the beach and start walking back wondering if I should do something for him. I really like him and he’s working for something I never seriously thought about. Well I did fantasize, but never thought it would actually happen – especially after the rape. Who the hell wants a hot mess like me?
He takes my hand. “Where are you today?” He’s not even breathing heavy. He's got sweat on his chest and his shorts are hanging low. I have another fantasy.
I look at him trying to remember the question. “Court, the Center, and kids’ house.”
“What are you doing at the kids’ house?”
I look at him. What’s he surprised by? “I’m on baby watch while the kids do something with the Brothers. We may go along, but Lily wants Drake to get comfortable with someone else handling the baby's care. He’s smart. She thinks he could go to school.”
He nods. “I’m there for fishing and an early dinner. We’re just doing a get to know you thing to get a better idea of what Brother or Vet pairs best with the kids. I need to meet with them at the Club later, it’s just a couple of minutes. I send it by email.”
That’s sweet. “You mentoring them too?” He has Trapper, Alex and his program and now the kids.
“No, my plate is full. I help do the pairing, but that’s it for me unless someone needs something I have. I got Tim at the garage now.”
“I forgot about Tim. How is he doing?” Taylor was worried about him. He has a mom that spends all her time working at the strip club and forgets she has a kid for days on end.
He smiles as we make it to my yard. “He’s doing good. He decided to go back to school for graphic engineering. He worships Jared.”
“He’s a good Brother to worship.”
“I’ll see you at the house.” He bends and kisses my cheek.
I squeeze his hand and walk up the stairs hoping I don’t fall on my face. For years I had a crush on him and he just kissed my cheek. Definitely a dweeb. In the house I text Diego telling him I’m a dweeb. He texts back. ‘Told ya.’
***
“Go.” He looks at me as if I’m nuts. “Go. We’ll meet you for dinner so we can hear how big the one that got away was.”
Jax sticks his head around the corner. “She watches Prez and Jessie’s twins. They’d kill her if she hurt the boys. Nothing’s going to happen. Let’s go.” Drake gives me one last look and walks out. I throw chin to Jax. He's in a tight T-shirt and faded jeans. I watch that ass fill them as he walks away. Fuck there's another good fantasy.
Me and Stella take a walk around the neighborhood, then play in the backyard. When I get the text they’re headed to the restaurant, I get her cleaned up and changed. She likes the car seat, she’s rubbing the side cushions and smiling. I talk to her, but she never says a word. I know Nick has seen her; I make a mental note to ask him about her not talking or making any sound.
Drake is watching me like a hawk as we pull up. When I take Stella out he smiles and looks back at Run saying something. I go right in and see they already have a seat for her. We settle and I listen to a couple of kids tell me about their big fish. I just smile. All fish stories are exaggerated and these kids aren’t any different. The Brothers don’t ever correct them. Jax sits by me and nods to a Brother to take the opposite seat. This leaves Drake sitting away from Stella.
When he comes in he doesn’t look happy, but he doesn’t ask anyone to move. I order her two kid’s plates and me a turkey plate. There’s got to be something she likes in all that.
Jax orders then leans close to my ear. “You think she’s going to eat all that?”
I laugh to cover the chill that runs through me then look at him. “No, but she has choices if she doesn’t like something. I’m pretty sure she hasn’t had food like this or been out to eat.”
He nods and hands me his placemat. I get the crayons out of the little pack and draw her a Mickey Mouse head. She smiles and I use her hand to draw another then put a bow on it. She’s cute. She claps, kicks her feet, and starts scribbling. Crayons are the way to go with this kid. When I look down the table Drake is watching her with a smile.
The Brothers talk and I feed Stella a little off all the plates then give her a spoon and let her choose. She goes right for the mashed potatoes on my plate. I show her how to pick them up and she gets some in her mouth on the third try. She likes mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, green beans, carrots and turkey. I eat some of her fries and whatever she’s not touching. She tasted everything so I tell her she can get ice cream showing her the picture. I get clapping again. She knows what ice cream is.
When we’re done I take her into the bathroom and clean her up. She’s funny, trying to wash her face, she splashes water everywhere making me laugh.
Jax is waiting when I come out. “Should we ask about her not making sounds?”
I nod, glad he noticed too. “I was going to ask. Nick saw her yesterday.” He nods and guides me out with his hand on my back. I don’t say a word, but I like his hand there.
When I bring Stella into the house Drake is waiting. I give him a big smile. “She likes just about everything, but mashed potatoes and mac and cheese are her favorites.” He nods with tears in his eyes.
“Thank you for taking care of her. She’s happy here.” He walks away. He’s got some tough choices to make. I hope we make that easier for him.
Jax is waiting at my Jeep. “I’ll drop it at Security. If you follow me, I’ll ride up with you.” I look anywhere but at him. Why does this feel so weird?
He turns my face toward him and kisses my lips. “I’ll follow you anywhere you want to go doll.”
I keep the smile off my face and climb in. “Hate doll.” I close my door to his laughing. When he walks away I smile. The men I've been with never act like he's acting. They always wait for me to do or decide everything. I like this, I decide smiling.
I haven’t ridden behind anyone in a long time. I’m trying to think who that was. Tiny. It comes to me and I smile. He took me to dinner then to Little Brothers for a meeting about respecting women.
I park and run in for a lid. When I climb on behind him I realize I didn’t think this through. I’ve seen him with no shirt but I haven’t felt those abs. I feel them now and do everything I can not to make a sound. Hard body is all I can think. He pulls
out fast and I hold tighter feeling him laugh. Ass. I smile.
At the Club he backs in and puts his hand out for me. I almost scoff at it, but put my hand in his and slide off. I like him always touching me, I don’t feel like a leper anymore. He holds my hand until we’re inside. When he lets it go I look at him. Did he change his mind? I can’t blame him, but fuck, this was his idea. “I need to meet with the Brothers. I’ll be back in a few.” I nod. “Nick is at the bar.” I nod again. He bends and kisses my lips.
Okay. He didn’t change his mind. Ramsey starts my way with a smile. “I don’t need him to beat the fuck out of you. Stay the fuck away, Ramsey.”
“If you’re ready for the Brothers again come give me a ride, She Dog.” Brothers are laughing. I judge the distance and space around him. I use one of Eliza’s moves and pivot sideways kicking his chest. He doesn’t expect it and falls flat on his back. Now the Brothers are really laughing. What an ass.
I walk to Nick. “Hey Brother. I’m glad you’re here.”
He puts his hands up. “Just saw you with Jax and I’m not looking to get beat by either one of you.”
I laugh. “Stella, baby from the homeless teens, she doesn’t make a sound. I had her for a few hours today and the entire time she didn’t make a sound, not happy, no cry, nothing.”
He looks concerned. “Yeah. I want tests run, but the uncle is nervous about her getting caught up with shots. I see her again next week. I thought I’d ask Lily to step in, but if he let her go with you maybe you can.”
“What kind of tests?” I’ll make sure she gets what she needs.
“Hearing. She’s smart but didn’t react to me clapping. It’s not normal for her to not make any noise. Maybe something else is wrong. I’m not a pediatrician, but I can call Sam and ask her what she thinks.” He pulls his phone making me smile.
I let him text then talk. He touches my arm surprising me. “Will you help if Sam makes the appointment in Providence?”
“Yeah. I’ll get her there.” I look away while he talks and roll my eyes when Strapper comes in and walks toward me. He’s got something on his mind and his eyes narrow when Nick touches my arm again. I turn toward Nick before I shoot the dumbass Brother.
“She’s going to try for the end of the week. Do I need to let Jessie know so you’re off the schedule?”
“Yeah. He’ll need someone with Eliza once you get a day and time.” He nods and types something on his phone.
“So it’s Nick?”
I turn wondering what I thought was decent about him. “Again. Does it matter? It isn’t you.”
When I turn his hand is squeezing my arm. I turn back and he’s in the air. Fuck. Jax is pissed. I don’t remember seeing him this pissed before and we went through some shit in the MC. Strapper hits a table and Brothers scatter. Jax walks over to him and grabs his hair moving his face so he’s looking in his eyes. “It’s me. You ever put your hands on her in anger again, I will make sure it’s the last time you touch anyone.”
Taylor yells, “He put hands on you?” Oh fuck. “Did he? A fuckin’ Brother?”
I put my hands out. “He grabbed my arm. That was it.”
“You held a gun on him at the PD and now he grabs you. That’s not fuckin’ it!”
Eliza, Jessie, Dakota and Jax all yell, “What!” I look down. Fuckin’ Taylor.
I start walking toward the kitchen. I’ll sit out back until they finish this humiliating show. Eliza stops me. “Don’t run. I know what that’s like. Face it and him. No one has the right to take anything from you. You give what you want, when you want to. You don’t have to explain it either. Don’t run and let him think what he’s doing is right.”
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“Then why are you running? You pull your gun all the time, but not ever in the PD. Jax isn’t a showy guy, but he threw him across the room. It’s bad enough for you to make a stand here Sheila.”
I look back. He just grabbed my arm. He did set bells off in my head earlier. I nod and walk back as he’s getting to his feet.
“I waited for her to get over her little thing. Waste of fuckin’ time. She’s lousy anyway.” What the fuck?
Dakota lays him out. I’m shocked. “So bad he is this pissed he does not get another shot?” The Brothers laugh and I’m relieved. What a fuckin’ thing to say in the middle of the common room.
Dakota walks to me and guides me out to the back where I was headed anyway. “Never is it okay because he, ‘just grabbed your arm’. It is an escalation from what happened at the PD. Next would have been worse. I do not think the Brothers know Jax’s background. They will soon, but that is not today.” I nod not knowing what to say. “You have nightmares that I may be able to help you with. Sit, we will try to clean the mess I made. I did not know you still had the nightmares or I would have done this sooner.”
“You can take them away?” This is the best fuckin’ thing I’ve heard all year.
He smiles. “I can dull what you have. I do not think it is all connected to Eliza, but we can try to dull her part of your nightmares.”
He puts his hand on my arm and I feel heat running through me. I close my eyes hoping he’s wrong and the nightmares are all about Eliza. They did get worse after the rape, but I want it to be a simple fix.
I open my eyes when Jax sits and holds my hand. I close them again liking that he’s right here with me.
***
Jax
“She is only sleeping. She will wake in a few minutes. I have taken what I can. She hoped it would be a simple fix, but life is never that easy. She will have less nightmares, but they are not Eliza – they are her. I think it is easier for her to see Eliza’s face. That too will fade in time. She does well with her help and you.”
I swallow hard. Thank fuck. “Thank you.”
“You are all in with her. This is good Brother. She is not easy, but she is worth it.”
I look at him. Jesus we’ve been together for a fuckin’ day. Moving her down a little lower on my arm I look at her face. She’s relaxed. I hope I don’t ever hear that scream again. “She’s worth it.”
He walks away with a smile. Shit.
I’m willing to work to see what us is like, but all in is fuckin’ serious. I’ve thought about us together since she was seventeen. Watching her over the years, nothing changed but how much I admire who she’s become. She’s hard as nails with a smart mouth and deadly aim, but under that she’s soft, funny and full of love. I want that. I have wanted it forever. She was so good with Diego. The day she cried for what he went through at Little Brothers I saw that soft side for the first time. I watched for it from then on.
She moves her head and I loosen my hold. “We need to stop meeting like this.”
Her husky voice runs right through me. I laugh and kiss her head. “You like sleeping in my lap, I’m not doing a fuckin’ thing to stop that Greta.”
She smiles. “Okay and I hate fuckin’ Greta.”
I smile. “Dakota said what he did worked to a point. The help you get makes it better.” She nods. I’m not telling her about me. I guess we’ll see soon enough if what he says is true. “You good?”
She smiles. “That’s what Darren, Taylor and Prez ask. Yeah I’m good.”
I stand her up and walk her back to the bar. I need to talk to Darren about a problem for the Maine run. She talks to Jess and Brantley while I do. This works well. When she’s done she stands by me, but is looking out at the room. I pull her in and I’m fighting a smile as she leans her back against me.
Darren has me going up for the meet. The problem seems to be storage and he’s already talked to their VP. I need to make sure the new building is accessible to the trucks and see why the guns aren’t moving. This is not a good time for me, but we need this straight before Laconia. We’re dropping a truck and need a clean transition for whoever picks it up. I think it will be Connecticut, but keep that to myself.
I put my beer down and turn to Sheila. “You want to ride?�
�� I bend asking at her ear.
“Yeah.” She gives me a shy look that I’ve never seen on her. I don’t throw in a name so that look stays right there.
I put her beer on the bar and take her hand. Prez slaps my back as I walk by. I throw him chin glad to be getting out of there. Every Brother watches every move I make with her. I knew they were protective, but fuck.
Chapter Five
Three days
Sheila
I open my eyes and smile. I slept again. Dakota is the man. I hear Jax in the shower and know it's his morning with Trapper. I get up quick and get in the other bathroom. When I come out I make coffee and have his cup ready just as he walks out. “Morning sunshine.”
I smile. “Sunshine isn't going to work for me. Morning.”
He sits and pulls me down on his lap. “You slept straight through.”
“Yeah.”
“I'm meeting Trapper then I'm on the run to Maine. I'm glad you're sleeping all night. It throws relief knowing you're not drinking yourself into a stupor to sleep while I'm gone.”
I laugh. I drank for more than a year and no one noticed. “No stupors.”
“Good to know sweet cheeks.”
I crack up. “Fuckin’ sweet cheeks better not stick.” He smiles with his eyes shining and I want to sigh. Him holding me all night puts ideas in my head, but I'm not sure how this will all play out. I like that he treats me like a woman and it’s not just for sex. Brothers never do this shit with me. They treat me like one of the boys, with sex as a bonus. Just a release, then we're back to Brothers.
***
Jax
“I need to go, I have to shower and get Stella up to Providence again.” She stands up and I just barely hold the groan in. She's in those fuckin’ jeans again, at least in cargos I'm not seeing the perfect shape of her ass.
Enforcer: Book Four (Princes of Prophecy) Page 6
