My Heart Says Yes

by Ashley Blake

  “I hear you on that. Are you guys studying at school or someone’s apartment?”

  “School, we’re going to be in the room that we have our class in so we can practice and feel comfortable with our set up since it has a huge round table that we all sit around.”

  “I know that room, it’s next to the faculty lounge, right?”

  “Yeah, how did you know that?”

  “I have been a guest speaker at your school a couple of times and that is the only room with such a huge round table.”

  “Wow, how funny, small world.”

  “That’s for sure. Hey, I just realized that I don’t have your phone number. Do you want to give it to me so I can put it in my phone?”

  This is a very good sign.

  I gave Caleb my number and he said he would give me a call soon. I walked him to my door and opened it for him. As he walked out, he stopped and turned to look at me.

  “Thanks for a great day.”

  I smiled at him. “Ditto.”

  After he left, I went to my room, flopped down on my bed and screamed with excitement into my pillow. Then I turned over and lay on my back, staring at the ceiling with a big goofy grin on my face.

  I cannot believe this day! Caleb Morgan likes me? What?! It felt like I was in an alternate universe and it also felt really awesome. I had never been happier in my life.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Kelly came home around 7:30 and her eyes were as wide as saucers when I told her about my day.

  “You are kidding! Emma you guys are so meant to be! So, is he a good kisser?” She was hanging onto my every word like a tabloid reporter would devour a scoop about a celebrity.

  “Kelly, as long as you’ve known me, have I ever done the kiss and tell thing?”

  She pouted like a schoolgirl. “No, you haven’t. But this is special because you never been with a hottie like Caleb.”

  “Okay, well that is true. I’ll just give you a little bit. You know how hot he is to look at? He’s even hotter to kiss.”

  “Oh my gosh, I am so wanting to be you right now! So when are you going to see him again?”

  “I’m not sure, he said he would call me. So maybe I’ll hear from him in a couple of days.”

  “You have to keep me posted, I want all the deets!”

  “You know you’ll be the first to know!”

  “Okay cool. Are you ready to go out?”

  “I thought that we were just going to go out to dinner.”

  “This is your first month in Chicago, it’s the beginning of the semester, and we are two young single women. We’re going out before we both get too swamped with school work this semester, so throw on something fabulous!”

  “Um, I hate to break it to you Kel, but you’re not single. You do remember your boyfriend David, don’t you?”

  She rolled her eyes at me. “I know, but I’m not married, I can still flirt a little bit!”

  I was feeling pretty good about myself so I was totally up for going out. We had a late dinner at Tavern on Rush and then we decided to have drinks at the bar before we went over to Whiskey. It was around 11:00 and we were talking to a couple of guys at Tavern when I felt Kelly nudge me. I thought that meant that she was ready to ditch the guys so I was getting ready to say something when I followed what her eyes were looking at. My stomach dropped into my toes when I saw Caleb sitting at a table, looking very cozy, with Carrie.

  I instantly felt like such a fool for ever believing that a guy like that would be interested in someone like me. I should have listened to the girl at the party who said he has a type and that type is the tall, thin, blonde model type. Suddenly, I didn’t want to be there anymore and I certainly didn’t want them to see me. Kelly could see that I was upset so we made an excuse, ditched the guys we were talking to, and we were going to leave but I had to use the ladies’ room first, so she waited for me near the front door.

  I was touching up my makeup when I heard the door open and looked over to see Carrie standing there, staring at me with her arms crossed.

  “Wow, I’m surprised that you even know about his place.”

  This girl was just plain nasty.

  I wasn’t going to let her get to me as I raised an eyebrow at her. “I could say the same thing to you.”

  She looked shocked and then annoyed that I had deigned to question her cool meter.

  “Um, didn’t you just move here from some small cow town? You wouldn’t know a cool place to hang out from a barnyard dance. Caleb told me how he felt sorry for you and gave you a ride home today with the old people.”

  Wait a second. The old people? That witch had a lot of nerve calling them that, and it pissed me off. And if she called them that then why was she volunteering at Friends of Seniors. I had a huge soft spot for the elderly and I wasn’t going to let this skinny, Blake Lively wannabe disrespect them. I narrowed my eyes at her, my hand on my hip.

  “First of all, we refer to seniors as elderly or senior citizens, so show some damned respect. Second, you need a lesson in sensitivity training so I think I will mention this to Jean at Friends of Seniors. I think the only volunteers that should be allowed there are those who truly love our elderly friends, and from what you just said, clearly that is not you. And finally, third, you said Caleb said he felt sorry for me and that is why he gave me a ride home?” I sneered at her and stepped closer to her so I was right in her face. “Ask him if he felt sorry for me when his tongue was in my mouth this afternoon, you conceited witch.”

  I left a stunned Carrie standing in the bathroom looking pissed and it felt really good to let her have it. I smiled to myself as walked out, proud of myself that I showed her that I was not a pushover. As I walked over to the front door where Kelly was waiting for me, I glanced into the bar and Caleb happened to look up right then. At first he looked confused and then a huge smile spread across his face and he waved at me and got up to walk toward me.

  “Let’s go.” I ushered Kelly out of the bar because I really didn’t want to face him. I saw an even more confused look when he saw me walk away. I know we weren’t exclusive, but after all that stuff he said to me about being under my spell, I couldn’t believe he was out with Carrie. The more I thought about it, the more I started to think that she was his girlfriend. He was probably a little bored with her and since I was fresh meat he probably thought he could have his fun with me until he wanted someone else. Well, I wasn’t that girl that he could do that to, I would never allow him to treat me like that. I was not going to be used by any man, ever.

  We went to Whiskey and I had a gin and tonic to help calm me down, and I told Kelly about my run in with Carrie and what she said to me about Caleb.

  “Emma, you can’t listen to that. She is obviously threatened by you and will say anything to make you lose interest in Caleb. Seriously, there is no way that he gave you a ride because he felt sorry for you. The guy likes you.”

  “Really? Then why is he out on a date with her on a Saturday night? Why is she stuck to his side at the senior center? And they were together at that party a few weeks ago. I think she’s his girlfriend and he just wants me as a little side thing to play with. Oh whatever, I don’t want to think about this anymore. Let’s change the subject and just have fun.”

  Kelly didn’t push me because she knew me well enough to know that when I was done talking about something, I was done. We had another cocktail and then we decided to call it a night.

  When I crawled into bed that night I felt sad about the way the night had turned out. I really thought that Caleb and I had something and that we were going to turn into something more. I decided that I would just have to push him out of my head and return to my previous plan of concentrating on me for the year. Boys always made things too complicated and I didn’t want complicated in my life. I vowed to forget Caleb Morgan and told myself that starting the next day, I would never say his name again. I would be cordial when I saw him at the senior center, but I would not engage in any personal in
teraction with him. I was done with Caleb Morgan and in the history of my life, he wouldn’t even register on the chart.

  The next morning I woke up feeling sad about the way the previous night had ended. I thought about how happy I had been earlier and I wished that I could get that feeling back. Maybe one day the right guy will come along for me. I felt myself falling into a pity party so I hopped out of bed and made breakfast for Kelly and me.

  Kelly came into the kitchen while I was still cooking. “Oooh, something smells good!” I know what she was doing, she always did this whenever I was down about something. She was really good about being happy and positive when I needed it, and you know what? It always worked, I always felt better, and today was no exception.

  “I thought I’d make a big breakfast for us to celebrate me avoiding getting involved with a huge jerk. The pancakes are ready, do you want your eggs scrambled or fried?”

  “Emma…”

  “No, don’t worry, I’m fine. I should have known that a guy like that wouldn’t really be interested in me. Carrie is much more his type, which is fine, because the right guy for me will come along. I just thought I had better instincts, I guess being off the market for two years with Jordan skewed my senses. Anyway, we’re celebrating this morning Kel, scrambled or fried?”

  “For the record a guy like Caleb Morgan would be interested in someone like you because you are an awesome, fabulous girl and he would be lucky to have you even look twice at him. You won’t like me saying this but, I saw the way he looked at you and it seemed to me that he liked you. Maybe what you saw last night wasn’t what you thought.”

  “How could it have been anything but what I thought Kel? He was holding her hand at the table, and he told her he gave me a ride home probably to cover his ass with her so if anyone told her that they saw us leaving together, he could just say that he gave me, Jack and Mary all a ride together. When I told her that he kissed me, she genuinely looked shocked so he was probably fooling around on her. Anyway, he’s a big jerk and I dodged a bullet with that one. I’m just going to go back to the year of me and focusing on myself, and not even think about guys at all this year.”

  "Okay, but if something happens and Mr. Wonderful comes along before this year is over, I won't give you a hard time for breaking your own rule. Now, back to this scrumptious breakfast you have cooked for us, I will have my eggs scrambled please with a little bit of cheddar cheese.”

  “Coming right up!”

  Later that day, I met Marta at school to work on our project for Friday’s class. We were deep into the fifth hour of work when my cell phone rang.

  “Sorry Marta, I’ll be quick.”

  I walked into the hallway and answered my phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Emma.”

  I instantly froze when I heard that deep, familiar voice. Why was Caleb calling me?

  “What do you want Caleb?’

  “Well that’s not a very friendly reception.”

  “I’m busy.” I was annoyed that he even was calling me.

  “Did you see me last night?”

  “I did.”

  “Did you see me wave at you?” He sounded confused.

  “I did.”

  “Are you in the habit of ignoring people when they wave hello to you?” He started to sound annoyed and that pissed me off. Where did he get off thinking that he could be annoyed with me?

  “I’m really not in the habit of acknowledging people that try to use me and pity me,” I snapped.

  “What are you talking about?” His voice was angry now.

  “Ask your girlfriend Carrie. I have to go, goodbye Caleb.” My voice was cold as I hung up on him, and I had to take a minute to calm down before I went back in the room to work with Marta. He had a lot of nerve calling me after I saw him holding Carrie’s hand at the dinner table the night before. Did he really think that he could fool around with me behind closed doors and be with Carrie in the open? I wasn’t that girl that would let a guy treat her like that and I never would be. Any guy who wanted to be with me had to want to be with me in the dark and in the light.

  “Sorry about that Marta.”

  “Oh, no problem Emma, we’re almost done anyway. I think we should get together on Wednesday to go over the final draft. My last class is over at 3:50. Does that work for you?”

  “Yep, I will meet you here after my last class, around 4:00.”

  We worked for a little bit longer and then went home. I thought about my conversation with Caleb all the way home and I tried not to feel sad about things ending the way they did. When I was being honest with myself I was bummed that he didn’t turn out to be the guy that I thought he was. I was so excited about him, especially after that little fooling around session we had at my place, but I had to just move on, he wasn’t the guy for me.

  That night Kelly stayed at her boyfriend’s and I threw myself a mini pity party. I ate a bowl of frozen yogurt (ice cream had been cut out months before), and curled up on the couch to watch some bad reality TV. I went to bed feeling better about things and knowing that each day would get easier, and the memory of Caleb Morgan would fade away.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  The next week of classes things started to get really busy and the course work was intensive, so I was really happy to have that kind of distraction. Caleb texted me every single day but I didn’t respond to him and I wanted nothing to do with him. He could play with the emotions of some other girl because I was not interested in being that for him. By the end of the week, Caleb Morgan was becoming a distant memory.

  On Friday, Marta and I presented our project and I was relieved by our professor’s comments and felt good that we were understanding everything and, creatively, we were heading in the right direction. I chatted with the professor after class and I was the last one to leave the classroom. As I was packing up all of my things, I heard the door open.

  “Did you forget something prof…” I looked up and saw Caleb’s beautiful eyes looking back at me and my heart skipped a beat.

  “You shouldn’t be here Caleb.” I tried to sound annoyed but it was really hard when I looked at his tall, muscular frame, chiseled masculine jaw and that dark, thick gorgeous hair. He was easily the most attractive man I had ever seen in real life, and my mind betrayed me as it quickly shifted back him having me pressed against the door and kissing the back of my neck at my place. I felt goosebumps and had to snap out of it because he was saying something to me.

  He closed the door behind him and crossed his arms as his eyes bore a hole through me. “I didn’t think you were the type of girl who played games Emma.”

  My eyes narrowed at him. “I don’t play games, I just don’t like to be used.”

  He instantly got annoyed and I saw fire flash across his eyes. “That is the second time you’ve said that and I have no idea what you’re talking about! Let me tell you something about me, when I see something I want I go after it, and I don’t give up until I get it, and I want you.” His eyes smoldered as they slowly crawled my body from head to toe. “I don’t like games Emma, I never have, and I won’t play them. We clicked the other day and then somehow things got derailed. What happened to make you change your mind?”

  Dammit these butterflies are getting out of control! Why is my body betraying me like this?

  I looked him boldly in the eye. “I saw you at Tavern on Rush on Saturday night.”

  He looked confused as he furrowed his brow. “Yes, I know that, I saw you and I waved at you and you ignored me. Why did you do that?”

  “I saw you there with Carrie, I saw you holding her hand Caleb. I’m not going to be that girl that you can fool around with whenever you want behind your girlfriend’s back, that will never be me.”

  He looked annoyed as he responded to me. “Emma, Carrie is just a friend. I told you earlier that day that she is not my girlfriend, I did not lie to you.”

  I put my hand on my hip. “Really. Kelly seems to think otherwise, which she s
o graciously shared with me in the ladies’ room that night. She told me that you drove me home because you felt sorry for me. She made it pretty clear that you are off-limits, and I have no interest in jumping in between someone’s relationship. If nothing is going on with you two then only one of you is aware of that! You might want to clear that up.” I slung my bag over my shoulder and walked out the door.

  I walked quickly and Caleb didn’t follow behind me, which made me think that my message was getting through to him. He could go find some other girl to try to manipulate.

  I threw myself into my schoolwork that entire weekend, breaking only to have drinks with Kelly and Rena on Saturday night. We were at Paris Club just catching up on how our semesters were going so far.

  “Rena, since you’re in a different program than Kelly, what’s your work load with grad school?”

  “It’s different because it’s art school so it’s nothing like business school or law school, but we do have a lot of work to do. It’s more project oriented than 40 page paper oriented, you know? It’s probably somewhat similar to portfolio school since some of the courses can overlap in our different industries.”

  “I always wondered about that because Kelly has a lot of projects due this semester alone and I was kind of surprised by that. So it’s interesting to hear that there isn’t much difference in the different types of programs in graduate art school.”

  “Yeah, there really isn’t. Like, for example, I’m getting a masters in art education when I graduate this Spring, and Caleb is getting a master’s in art history but we both have a ton of projects to complete before we graduate. He’s actually opening an art gallery in the Spring, but Emma, you probably already know that. By the way, how are things going with you two?”

  Kelly chimed in. “Oh, that’s a sore subject, I don’t think they are even on speaking terms right now.”