“This is all your shit, yo?” asked James doubtfully when I arrived. “I know you, girl. You had to buy an extra closet to fit all your clothes. Where’s the rest of it?”
“I grabbed only what I could carry, James,” I answered as I unloaded the cab. “Whatever stayed, stayed. I got enough money now to re-up my wardrobe with the latest shit anyway so I am not stressin’ it.” I winked at James teasingly.
“True that, true that. So when you takin’ me shopping?” James asked hopefully.
“Wanna go in a little while? I need a distraction and shopping is just the thing to do that.”
“1-2-5?”
“Nah, too close and too exposed. Let’s head downtown.”
“Sounds good,” James said grabbing the heavier bags.
Right then my phone rang. “Fuck!” I swore as I struggled with the luggage. My body still hurt from the brutal combination of the assault and the miscarriage and I hadn’t really rested despite the doctor ’s orders so I was starting to feel it. I picked up just before the last ring. “Hello.”
“The transaction is done,” informed Mario proudly. “You got my silence but…,” he hesitated uncomfortably. “India, this whole shit sounds suspect. I just want to make sure I’m not in danger or anything,” Mario blurted quickly before he lost the nerve.
“Don’t worry, Mario. Nobody knows you by name or face or anything. Your ass is covered. It’s my ass I’m worried about. Keep quiet and you’ll be rewarded nicely. I gotta go. I’ll call you within the next 48 hours. If you don’t hear from me, worry but worry about me, not about you. Like I said, you’re good.” I hung up and walked into the building simultaneously elated and relieved.
“Phase Three commences now,” I said in a robot-like voice making James look at me strangely and laugh.
“It’s mad late.” I was surprised as I looked at the clock marked 6:30pm.
“Too late to go shopping?” James asked with eyebrows arched.
“I see what’s on your mind.” I giggled. “This is New York, nigga, of course not. We can hit up 8th Street in the Village. Hurry up though. They’re open late but not 24 hours.”
James got ready in record time and we sped out the door. I relished in going from store to store, buying bags and bags of shoes, tops, jeans, dresses and whatever caught my fancy. I spent money on James without hesitation. He enjoyed it but stopped me when I readied to buy him a $500 pair of Gucci shoes.
“Nena, you don’t have to do that. I’m already feeling guilty that you bought me all this.” He gestured to the packed bags he was already holding.
I looked at him in the eye. “Listen, you my boy and I want to do this for you. I don’t know what I’d do without you right now. It’s the least I can do.”
“I’d do it even if you were dead broke and homeless,” James remarked honestly.
“I know.” I gave him a peck on the cheek and took out my debit card. “Ch-ching!” We shopped until our feet throbbed and all the gates were drawn on the boutiques.
“I’m famished,” I said. “You?”
“I could definitely go for some grub.” James rubbed his flat belly. “Chinese?”
“No doubt. Chinatown is right there. Let’s go.”
I plopped into the seat at the restaurant. I’d wanted to go to the Seafood Palace where Fabian used to take me but thought twice about it. The food was off the hook but not worth my neck.
“So …” James said looking at me over the top of the menu. “Have you thought about the consequences of your actions, India? Ain’t no nigga gonna have the bulk of his money taken without reacting.”
“I know, I know.” The truth was I hadn’t really thought it through. All I had focused on was revenge. I wanted that nigga to feel the anguish I’d felt and the best way to do that was to hit him in the pocket.
“Trust me, I didn’t take even half of his money. He has a lot of it stashed in different apartments and spots.”
“You still took a lot of his dough.”
“I know. I just thought I’d hide out for a while and …” My voice trailed off as I realized the enormity of my actions. It hit me like a ton of bricks. My hands began to sweat profusely and my heart flogged my breast. “Oh my God!” I brought my shaking hands to my face.
James grabbed my hands and cradled them. “We’re gonna figure it out together, nena. Chill, I’m here. I got you. We’ll put our heads together and figure it out.”
I became nauseous when I smelled the heaping plates of Lo Mein, garlic shrimp and rice the waiter placed in front of me. I’d completely lost my appetite.
16
“Does he know your schedule of classes?” asked James softly. I had my head on his shoulder and was staring at the bag of food on my lap. I hadn’t eaten anything. I turned to look out the window as the cab sped uptown. The high of shopping and lacing myself had long left me. I was just staring into space wondering how Fabian was going to react, what he was going to do. I shuddered at the thought of what he was capable of.
“India, think!” James raised his voice to get my attention. The cab driver glanced at us apprehensively through the rear view. James’s glare made him look away quickly. “I know this is scary but what’s done is done. Now you have to take action to protect yourself. Does he know your schedule of classes?” I could see in his eyes that James’s logical mind was churning, going through scenarios and possibilities.
“Nah, he never cared enough about my education to know things like that,” I replied truthfully.
“Aight good. Does he know where I live?” There was a tinge of fear in his voice.
“Nah, he doesn’t know that either.”
James sighed uneasily. “You have to lay low, India. You go to class and come straight back to the crib. No hanging out, no more shopping, nothing. If you need anything from outside, I’ll get it for you. Sorry nena but you gotta play hermit for now.”
“I know, James. Thanks.” Before realizing what I was doing, I kissed James on the lips then pulled back quickly, gasping at my loss of composure. “Yo, my bad. I just …”
“Don’t apologize. I understand. You’re scared.” James smiled. “I’ve been wanting to do that for four years,” he added almost inaudibly.
I stared at James. My one consolation right now was that I had him to lean on. I knew he wouldn’t abandon me and didn’t worry that he’d take advantage of my vulnerability. We held one another silently for the remainder of the ride.
17
The glare of the sun shining on my face woke me before 8am. I wiped the sweat off my forehead and glanced around the room. James was standing at the foot of the bed, bare-chested in boxers drying off his back. “You’re looking buff these days,” I said surprised by James’s cuts.
He laughed. “I just got back from the gym 20 minutes ago.
“Damn, why didn’t you wake me up?” I threw him a pillow playfully.
“You were finally sound asleep. You tossed and turned all night. Bad dreams?”
He walked over and sat on the bed next to me. I sat up on the bed and stared at him. I knew James was cute but I hadn’t seen him topless since we’d gone to South Beach for spring break the year before. I squeezed his pec.
“Let me find out. I didn’t know you had all of this.” I traced his newly chiseled bicep and gave him a peck on the cheek. “Somebody’s been hitting the iron. Seriously though, I would have loved to work out. I need the adrenaline but you’re right, I did have nightmares.” I remembered the dream I had with Fabian. He’d found me.
“Breakfast?” James asked as if he knew I needed to be distracted from my thoughts.
“Mmmm, sounds good. Menus?”
“Nah, how about I make you breakfast? How’s egg whites with bacon, toast, OJ and coffee?” James offered.
“Let me find out. I would have moved in sooner if I knew I’d be getting this kind of treatment,” I teased as we walked to the kitchen. We talked while James cooked.
“So, has he called yet?” James ligh
tly buttered the pan for the eggs and stared at me with arched eyebrows.
“I turned off my phone last night and haven’t checked my messages but if he finally woke up, I know there’s a hostile message patiently waiting for me.” I tried to shroud my fears with jest. “I’ll check after breakfast. I don’t want to spoil the mood.” I punched James on the arm playfully.
After eating, James rolled an L for dessert. We smoked silently for a while.
“So, have you thought about what you’re going to do?”
“I’ll think about it after we smoke,” I responded a little annoyed.
“Look, I’m sorry, ma, but you have to think about it now. It’s not going to miraculously go away.” James paused and collected himself when he saw my eyes moisten. “Yo, I don’t mean to lecture you but I’m worried about you. Let’s see where we’re at? If he called, we can proceed from there, aight, nena?”
“We?”
“Yes, we. I told you you’re not in this alone. This is our problem, not just yours.”
For the second time in two days, I wanted to kiss James but I didn’t. I’m buggin, I thought. I picked up the phone and dialed my password.
What the fuck did you put in my drink, bitch? You scheming? Bring it!
The composed tone of Fabian’s voice worried me. I knew this was the calm before the storm. I stared at James blankly as I passed him the phone.
“So he’s onto you,” James said in between totes to the roach he held with tweezers. “That’s no surprise. What now though?”
“I don’t know but I can’t stay hiding here forever,” I said desperately as I paced the room.
“And where are you going, India?” James asked seriously. He stood in front of me. “You gonna go face him? And tell him what? I took your money nigga?!” His breath deepened. “India, you’re strong and all but don’t be stupid. He’ll kill you on the spot.”
“But I have to do something!” I had barely finished my thought before James was in my face pleading.
“Do what, India? You’re gonna get yourself killed! Think about it.”
I backed up when I saw the redness of his eyes. “You’re right. I just don’t know what to do, James.” I teared.
“I know nena, I know.” James reached out, took me into his arms and rocked me. “For now, you can only go to class. As soon as you get out, it’s back to the crib. We don’t know if he knows about the money yet. He’ll probably let you know when he does with one of his friendly messages,” James joked trying to soften the mood. He looked me in the eyes. “Ok?”
“I guess I have no choice. I just have to wait it out.”
“When’s your next class?”
“Noon to two.”
“Okay, I’ll walk you, go to my class, and then pick you up. We can get take-out and come home.” He hugged me and kissed the top of my head.
“So you’re my bodyguard now?” I teased. “How about I make us dinner? Baked chicken with baked sweet plantains and yellow rice with corn. A green leaf and spinach salad lightly sprinkled with olive oil and balsamic vinegar with a dash of salt.” I boasted my cooking skills.
“Damn, if I knew I was going to get this treatment, I would have had you move in earlier,” James kidded. We looked at one another for a moment. I finally broke the awkward silence.
“I need the distraction and want to flex my culinary talents. So is it a date?” I flirted half playfully.
“Is it?”
“Let me go to the gym for a while. My legs could use some squats and lunges.” I saw where the conversation was going and had to nip it in the bud before it went there.
“Gym? Girl, you just had a miscarriage and were beaten up by your ex. You go to the gym and you’re going to pass the fuck out on the treadmill.” James massaged my shoulders while he held me in front of him. “Ma, I know you have crazy nervous energy right now but you have to relax. We have almost two hours before class, how about another L?”
“Sounds good to me but I still could use a workout.”
James patted me on the butt as we walked to the room. He smirked devilishly when I swatted him on the back of the head. “Men!”
18
I became increasingly restless as the unseasonably warm weather held and I remained cooped up in James’s suite. The farthest I went was to class and the library then back I ran to the dorm, looking over my shoulder constantly. Two weeks lapsed and I hadn’t heard from Fabian except for that frighteningly relaxed message. Perhaps I should have been relieved but I was far from reassured by his silence. Fabian was calculating in his malice. I knew firsthand how patient he was when he prepared to dole out his vengeance.
I recalled three years before when a childhood friend of Fabian’s foolishly thought he could trick him into believing he’d been stuck up for a large shipment of kilos of cocaine Fabian had given him on consignment. Carlos’s story was that he’d been accosted when he’d gone to make a sale. Fabian had made his boy think he believed him. Meanwhile, Fabian did some investigating of his own. He found that Carlos had actually sold the keys to some dealers in Washington Heights. The dealers were familiar with Fabian and his work. They knew without a doubt that it was Fabian’s work because no one in the hood could get such pure, uncut coke but him. Fabian let Carlos sleep. One night, months after the alleged theft, they went out on the town. They hit up several clubs, popped mad bottles of Cristal and Moet then went to soak up the alcohol with plates of paella and lobster at Jimmy’s Bronx Café. There, they were involved in a shootout where Carlos was left a paraplegic and Fabian came out miraculously unscathed.
Fabian swore up and down to me that he had not schemed the whole thing. “I was with that nigga the entire night. How could I have been involved?” But I knew Fabian better than that. I felt it in my heart. My gut instinct told me that the shooting was Fabian’s doing. When we discussed it, I saw the disappointment in his eyes, in the frown lines on his forehead and around his mouth; he’d wanted Carlos dead.
I put down the book I’d been reading and walked to the window overlooking Morningside Drive. That was my usual spot now. If I wasn’t in front of the TV, lying on the sofa reading, or on the computer typing a paper, I was sitting by the window staring longingly out at the street.
My heart suddenly skipped a beat. “Hasn’t that car been sitting in the same spot for several days now?” I mulled, staring at the closing sunroof of the black Land Rover, its windows tinted the ebony color of the car. “That car does look familiar,” I thought aloud as I puffed on the cigarette. My nerves had got me smoking, a habit I’d never imagined I’d pick up. I looked down at my quivering hand and shook my head. “You need to fuckin’ relax, India! You’re buggin’ the fuck out. You don’t know that car and it has not been there for days!”
“Talking to yourself now,” James laughed as he closed the front door behind him. I jumped, turned ghostly white, and dropped the ashtray in the process. “Damn nena, you’re mad jumpy. It’s me, James. Remember me. I brought you some food and a fresh bag of herbals.” He proudly pulled out a Ziploc sandwich bag packed with green and purple buds.
“You love me.” I walked to him and planted a firm kiss on his cheek.
“So what’d you see outside that got you screamin’ on yourself?”
I stared at the curl of smoke rising from of James’ mouth. He’s got nice lips, I thought to myself. “Oh, it was nothing, I’m just wilin.” I took the L and inhaled deeply, taking too much smoke into my lungs. I struggled not to choke but lost the battle. I coughed harshly.
“There no such thing as nothing right now. If something makes you suspicious, it’s your instincts telling you something. What’s up?”
I told him about the Land Rover and we walked over to the window together to look. “It was parked right there,” I said pointing at the now empty spot. “I thought I’d seen it there for a couple of days but…I told you I’m just jittery right now.”
“Aight nena. I’m just checking.” James looked at me tenderly. “
How ‘bout we hit the gym?” He pinched my waist playfully. “I see you gettin’ a little soft.”
I punched him on the arm, “Fuck you nigga! But the gym sounds great. I need a break from the monotony that’s been my existence for the past two weeks!”
I went into the room and changed into one of my new Juicy couture sweat suits and a pair of Nike Shox sneakers. “Let’s bounce!” I announced energetically. “I love workin’ out when I’m high. I get into the zone!”
We walked over the bridge spanning Amsterdam Avenue. I looked down at the traffic while we walked. As I turned away, I could swear I’d seen the same black Land Rover out of the corner of my eye but it was gone when I looked again. I’m truly losing my mind, I thought, trying to slow my quickening pulse.
“I need this work out, J. It’ll do wonders to calm me down.”
“Yeah, you’ve been mad tense but that’s understandable.”
I hit the squats hard and did more lunges than I probably should have. I felt a cramp in my abdomen while doing my last set of leg lifts and decided to call it quits on my leg workout. I put on my I-Pod, jumped on the treadmill, and ran to the hard bass of my designated workout music, letting the adrenaline take me soaring.
19
I got out of the shower and stretched my arms. I looked at my naked curves in the mirror and smiled. “Not bad, Ms. Thing.” Winking at my reflection, I wrapped my robe around my body and a towel around my wet hair before walking into the kitchen.
“Damn, it’s about time girl! You were in there for an hour.” James passed me a protein shake. “Having fun with my showerhead?”
“Shut up!” I gulped the drink. “Mmmm, strawberry-banana. Tasty!” I noticed James watching me as I took the towel out of my hair and let it cascade over my shoulders. I grinned as James’s eyes roamed my firm legs.
Woman's Cry Page 6
