The One I Love to Hate

by Amanda Weaver

  “As if that piece of shit has what it takes to run this company.”

  “He didn’t. But Dad, neither do I.”

  “Of course you do!”

  “Oh, don’t get me wrong, I have the knowledge, the skills, the intellect. I could do it. But, Dad, I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say it would kill me. Maybe slowly, but I’d be dead just the same.”

  His father’s eyes were burning as he stared at Alex. Alex made himself hold still as Dan worked through it. He’d been as honest as he could be. Either way, he was out. But he hoped he could step out of the business without destroying his relationship with his father in the process. That part was up to Dan.

  “Is this about the girl? Jessica?”

  A huff of laughter burst from his lips. “Maybe? A little? She just pressed me to take a hard look at myself. What I found there? It’s all me. Anyway, I told you, we broke up.”

  Although that was starting to shift in his mind, too, along with his future. Why was he walking away from the thing he most wanted in life? Because that wasn’t ClickNews. That was Jess. And if he was standing up to fight for the website, then he would fight for her, too.

  But one thing at a time. First, his father was sitting across the table, coming to terms with the idea that the person he’d counted on above all others was walking away from him. Alex wouldn’t go without making sure he was okay.

  Dan made a noncommittal grunt and fidgeted in his chair. “And...” He stopped, cleared his throat, tugged on his shirt cuff, and started again. “This is what you want to do?”

  “Journalism? Yeah.”

  “Son, when we acquired ClickNews, it wasn’t because it was a hard-hitting news source. This isn’t real journalism.”

  “See, that’s what I’m talking about, Dad. It could be.” He sat forward, outlining what he’d done just this morning, that familiar rush of energy and excitement flooding back in. “And that’s just what we came up with on the fly. I’m thinking big, I’m thinking long-term. We can put together investigative teams to go after the really big stuff, things most papers don’t have the budgets to dig into anymore. We could... Fuck, we could get credentialed, put someone in the White House press pool, report on politics...what’s really going on, not just what the advertisers want us to say.”

  “You’re going after the Pulitzer now?” Dan chuckled.

  “The Peabody. We’re digital media. We’ll win a Peabody Award.” He smiled at his own joke. Peabody had always been the best part of himself. Right now, he felt like he was finally starting to live up to that potential. “Why not? We could be great. I want to make us great.”

  “We already have great media outlets. Two cable news channels and a part-ownership of a network.”

  “Dad, nobody under thirty pays for cable anymore. They get their news from the internet. We could be that news. But not the cheap shit we’ve been turning out. And not the sensational click-bait that’s out there now. I want to produce real news, with high journalistic standards, and present it in a format a younger generation will respond to. All they get right now is celebrity gossip and memes, and because of that, people are growing up uninformed and disengaged. What if we did more, and what if we did it better? We could... Hell, we could change the world, Dad.”

  Dan pressed his lips together as he stared at Alex. “I’ve never seen you like this.”

  “I’ve never felt like this. Because this is it, what I’ve always wanted to do. Doesn’t Drake Media deserve someone running it who feels that way about it?”

  Dan grunted, shrugging one shoulder.

  “Dad, that person is not me.”

  Silence stretched out, and Alex made no move to fill it. He let his father come to terms with the situation in his own way. Finally, Dan cleared his throat and sat forward, mirroring Alex’s pose, elbows on the table, hands threaded together. Alex recognized this moment, too. They were entering the serious negotiations portion of the discussion. “You will still sit on the board of directors, is that clear?”

  Alex’s breath left him in a rush. “Yeah.” He nodded rapidly. “Yes, of course I’ll stay on the board.”

  “And you keep control of your stock, so we still hold the majority share. You can’t sell it off.”

  “Dad, I would never sell off my stock.”

  “And...” Dan blew out a breath, his eyes flashing at the ceiling. “You come to some investor meetings. They know you. They like you. They want to see you around.”

  “But you have to involve the new CEO, Dad. I won’t pretend I’m more involved than I am.”

  “Understood. Fuck.” Dan sat back again, throwing his hands in the air. “This industry is full of assholes. Where am I supposed to find a CEO I can stand?”

  “You’ve got this Brazilian network that needs someone to take it in hand. Seems like that might be an excellent way to try out a job prospect.”

  Dan harrumphed, but he looked thoughtful. “Maybe. Yeah. I’ll put somebody down there and see how they do.”

  “You should take a look at Megan.”

  “Megan Harte?”

  Alex nodded. “She’s a powerhouse.”

  “Huh.” With a lengthy exhale, Dan sat back and examined him once more. “How did I not see this coming?”

  “I did my best to keep it from you, Dad. I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

  “You could never—” Dan broke off, letting out a huff of frustration. “I feel like I’ve been sacrificing my son in favor of my company and I was too blind to see it.”

  “That’s not what you did. If you told me I had to run Drake no matter what...well, then you might have a point. But that’s not what you said.”

  “Because I want you to be happy.”

  His heart, still accustomed to its daily dose of guilt, gave a hard twist. No one, outside of him, ever saw this side of him. Dan hid it from everyone else. Some part of him still wished he could be everything Dan had hoped he’d be, just to make him happy. But that wasn’t good for either one of them. Dan had to learn to stop depending on him, and Alex had to learn to stop being dependable. The only way forward from now on was honesty.

  “I know you do, Dad. I wanted you to be happy, too. That’s why I tried so hard.”

  “Well, aren’t we a fine pair?”

  “I happen to think so. But just as father and son, not owner and CEO.”

  Dan’s legendary grin made a dramatic comeback. “Damned straight.” He pushed to his feet. “You still have time to have lunch with your old man?”

  Alex smiled as he stood, too. “Always, Dad, you know that. But let’s make it quick.” He motioned through the glass wall at the chaos in the reporting pool outside. “I have a big job on my hands.”

  Dan clapped a hand firmly on his shoulder. “Kid, I’m replacing you. I know exactly how you feel.”

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  On her first morning back at work, it took Jess half an hour to make it from the front door of the Fiske building to her desk upstairs. First there was Cliff from security, who hustled out from behind his desk to tell her how happy he was to see her back.

  Then, when she got to the front office, Sally took one look at her and burst into noisy tears of joy. Jess was still patting her back and handing her tissues when Lina found her.

  “Sally, she’s back at work, which means she needs to actually, you know, work.”

  Sally straightened up and sniffed. “Of course, of course! I’m just so happy to see you back.”

  Lina pulled her away before another round of sobs could erupt. When she walked through the door of the newsroom, she was greeted with the sight of every person on the Daily Post’s staff standing and applauding.

  “Oh.” The strangled little gasp was all she could manage as her eyes started to burn. Lina, who was clearly in on it, grinned smugly at her side. One by one, the staff came for
ward to shake her hand or hug her, and welcome her back.

  Natalie was first, bursting into tears, too, apologizing profusely for not having guessed Zoe was an evil, lying snake. Isaiah grimly castigated himself for not sniffing out Zoe’s duplicity himself. “Some investigative journalist I turned out to be.”

  “Welcome back, killer,” Hassan said, forgoing both a hug and a handshake in favor of a fist bump. Dana hugged her fiercely, sniffing back tears as she welcomed her back. Caleb guiltily shook her hand, eyes on the floor. “I was an asshole to you last week, Jess, and you’ve always been awesome to me. You deserved more loyalty.”

  “It’s okay,” she murmured, becoming embarrassed by the show of devotion.

  Griffin was next, awkwardly clapping her on the shoulder. “I knew you didn’t do it.”

  Jess caught his hand and squeezed. “Thanks for proving it.”

  He shrugged. “Anytime.”

  How could she have sat in that meeting and assessed each one of these people for their potential to betray? The same way they’d been led to believe the worst about her, she supposed. Fuck Chase Bennett, and fuck Zoe, for making them doubt each other.

  The last one up was Mariel. “Jess,” she said simply, and then she pulled her into a brief but firm hug. “I’m so glad you’re back.”

  “I’m glad to be back, Mariel.”

  “Well.” Mariel looked at the newsroom, still gathered around Jess. “Since I have everyone’s attention, I’ll take advantage of it to let you know the Daily Post staff has been invited to a New Year’s Eve party tonight.”

  Tonight was New Year’s Eve? Things had been so crazy that Jess had totally lost track of the date. But yes, it was tonight.

  “We’re having a party?” Natalie asked brightly.

  “Not us. We’ve been invited to the Drake Media party.”

  Utter silence greeted Mariel’s announcement.

  “Drake Media?” Marc finally said. “They have some nerve.”

  “Actually,” Mariel said. “It’s Dan Drake’s attempt at an apology for what our staff has gone through at the hands of one of his employees.”

  “Okay, that’s not a shitty thing,” Hassan conceded.

  “He tells me it’s quite the event. It’s at The Standard in SoHo. Catered, cocktail attire, and an open bar...”

  “Open bar?” Caleb echoed.

  “I’m in!” Lina said. “And so is Jess. We can celebrate her return.”

  The rest of the staff was looking for the flimsiest of reasons to accept the invitation, and Jess’s return seemed to do it. In moments, the room had exploded in chatter as everyone debated what to wear.

  Jess wasn’t much interested in the party, but she was interested in Alex, and he wouldn’t miss Drake Media’s big party.

  Last night was not the end. He wanted her, she was sure of that. In her heart of hearts, she was sure he loved her. He’d just convinced himself he couldn’t have her, and that was her fault. But if she was the one who screwed it up, surely she could fix it again. All that stuff he said, about her not compromising, that was her choice to make, not his. Just like his decision to stand by Drake Media.

  She was still terrified at what his choice would do to him in the long run, but walking away and leaving him to face his future alone would only make it harder. If he was really determined, then she’d stand at his side, and somehow—she hoped—figure out how to help him hold on to himself as he did what he felt he had to do.

  If he’d still let her. Tonight, she’d convince him to let her, no matter what.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  “This place is freakin’ noice!” Hassan said as soon as he walked through the entrance to the ultra-exclusive bar at the top of The Standard in the Meatpacking District.

  “Hassan,” Lina warned. “Be chill, please.”

  He spun around to face Lina and Jess, straightening his tie. “How do I look? I look good in here, don’t I?”

  “You look like you’re way too desperate,” Lina hissed.

  “Sorry, but geeky Pakistani boys from Queens don’t get into places like this. Not ever. I am gonna enjoy the hell out of this night.”

  Lina relented and smiled, straightening his tie. “Well, they get in now. And with a hot date.”

  Hassan’s eyes lit up as he smiled at Lina. “So this is a date?”

  She tugged flirtatiously on his tie. “If you play your cards right.”

  Jess’s gaze roamed over the impressive space. It was all deep amber light glinting off glossy wood with gold accents. A huge circular bar dominated the middle of the room, the curving liquor shelves in the middle exploding up toward the ceiling like an umbrella opening. Wherever she looked, the walls were glass, displaying the glittering skyline outside. Clusters of creamy leather couches hugged the edges of the room. Dance music pulsed through the air, the heavy beat underscoring the hum of conversations and laughter.

  Lina leaned closer to Jess. “Dan Drake sure throws a killer party.”

  “I heard the bathrooms are entirely made of glass,” Hassan said.

  “Did you see the appetizers back there?” Lina added. “Almost too pretty to eat.”

  “The DJ produced Flo Rida’s last album.”

  “There’s a hot tub in the other room. With a bar.”

  “I am not getting in the hot tub,” Jess interjected.

  “Lina,” Hassan murmured. “Wanna take a dip later?”

  She lifted one shoulder. “We’ll see how the night progresses.”

  “How much do you think Drake paid to rent out the whole Boom Boom Room?” Hassan marveled, his eyes going wide as a waitress slid past him. She was at least six feet tall in her mile-high heels, in a skimpy white dress with her blond hair slicked back from her face.

  “It’s not called the Boom Boom Room anymore. It’s just the Top of The Standard now.” When they turned around, Griffin had joined them on the small raised entrance overlooking the room, but he was hardly recognizable as Griffin.

  “Dude, you’re wearing a tux?” Hassan said appreciatively.

  Griff tugged on his bowtie. “I thought I could use an upgrade.” He’d left his glasses at home and even the shaggy hair had been tamed.

  “There you guys are!” Natalie materialized out of the crowd, looking stunning in a tight blue minidress, her long brown hair piled up on her head. “Everybody looks great! Wow, Griff, you clean up nice!”

  He gave her a lopsided grin. “Thanks, Nat.”

  She reached out to hook her arm in his. “Griff, I bought this dress at the Miu Miu sample sale and I’ve been saving it up for a special occasion. I think your tux and my dress need to get a drink together.”

  “Your wish is my command,” he said, waving back at Jess, Lina, and Hassan.

  “Well, that was interesting,” Jess said.

  “Very,” Lina agreed.

  “Why are we still standing here like tourists?” Hassan complained.

  “Good question,” Lina replied. “I plan on drinking my body weight in champagne tonight, on Dan Drake’s dime.”

  “Then let’s find the bar.”

  Jess whispered to Lina as they followed Hassan into the crowd. “So you and Hassan?”

  Lina smiled softly at his back before ducking her head. “I don’t know. He’s nothing like the guys I usually date. I mean, he’s such a geek. But he’s so nice. He was so supportive with the Lauren thing.”

  “Well, I think it’s great.”

  Lina shook her hair back over her shoulders. “We’ll see what the night brings.”

  “Speaking of, have you seen Alex anywhere? I need to talk to him.”

  “He’s the boss’s son. You need to find the VIP section. Let’s get a drink and then we’ll make a circuit of the room and scope him out.”

  At the bar, while Lina flagged down the bartender
, Jess fidgeted, running her fingers nervously over the charms on her bracelet, the only jewelry she’d worn tonight. Standing on tiptoe, she struggled to see over the heads of the people surrounding her. Even in heels, she was dwarfed.

  “Jessica, you made it.”

  Something familiar in the timbre of that voice, half-drowned out by the music and chatter around her, sent a little thrill of awareness down her spine. When she spun around, disappointment quickly snuffed out that momentary flare of joy. The father, not the son.

  “Mr. Drake. It’s nice to see you again.”

  “Enjoying the party?”

  “I just got here, but it’s nice. Thank you for inviting the Daily Post staff. You made a lot of people very happy.”

  He waved a dismissive hand. “Least I could do. Are you happy to be back at the paper, Jessica?”

  His question was anything anyone would ask if they were making polite conversation. So why did she feel like she was being circled by a shark as it planned where to take its first bite?

  Don’t let him scare you, she scolded herself.

  Sure, he could buy and sell her entire existence six times over with the spare change in his pockets, but he was just a person. And he was Alex’s dad. Alex loved this man, enough to devote the rest of his life to making him happy. There had to be something in Dan to inspire Alex’s loyalty, and she was determined to discover it.

  The mistake she’d made was seeing Dan as an adversary, someone she had to battle for Alex’s soul, when in reality, they were on the same side. They both loved him; they both wanted what was best for him; they just had different ideas of what that was. If she got what she wanted, she and Dan were going to be in each other’s lives for a long time to come, so she was going to have to figure out how to deal with him, and that meant not letting him intimidate her.

  Lifting her chin, she drew herself up as tall as her five-foot frame would allow. “I’m delighted. All my life I’ve wanted to work for a paper like the Daily Post, for an editor like Mariel Kemper, doing journalism that really matters. It’s a dream come true. The Daily Post could change the world.” Maybe she was laying it on a little thick, but she wasn’t about to give him an opening to take a dig at the paper.