The Dreamhouse

by Thorn, Nicole

  We all wrote our speech together, and we knew Adalyn wouldn’t be able to speak. Riley was reading her part for her as well as her own. I had to be brave enough to read mine.

  “We survived,” Riley said, addressing the audience without fear. “I honestly couldn’t tell you how because I don’t think any of us have a clue. Days blended together, and it felt never ending. Everything changed in about five minutes, and our worlds were turned upside down.

  “We’re not all here today.” Her eyes dipped to the paper in her hands, and her fingers trembled. “Four of us got out of that place, but only three of us are standing here. Our sister is gone, and we’re surviving that too.”

  The room stayed quiet as could be as Riley spoke, telling these people about the horrors we lived through and what it was like going day to day, hoping to die. That was her part, and Adalyn’s. Mine, it was about being free.

  “I didn’t really know what to say,” I admitted, my voice falsely calm. I stared at the cards in my hands, unsure if I could go on. Run, run, run, my feet told me. But I promised I would try.

  My eyes found Bennett in the audience, and he half-smiled, nodding his head to me. I nodded back, and I began again. “I didn’t know what I wanted to say here. I was sure of myself up until I met some of you, and I heard the things you lived through, and how you were thriving now. And I realized that I was very wrong about a few things. I don’t always feel like I’m surviving or that I know what I’m doing. I don’t know where I’m going. I just know that I am going. I get up every day, and I can see the sun again. I can feel wind, and grass between my toes, and there were days I forgot what those things felt like. There were days when I didn’t want them anymore, and I would have given anything to not wake up again.

  “I don’t know when I’m supposed to feel normal because I don’t really know what normal is. I’m broken, and my sisters are broken, but I think that that’s not as bad as it sounds. Broken doesn’t mean worthless or unwanted. It just means a little damaged. And we are. We’re all damaged. What happened to us left scars. In our hearts and on our bodies. They’ll be there forever, but it doesn’t mean we can’t look at the sun and see something wonderful. Or look at a person and see good and pure things.”

  I stopped, and I looked at Bennett again. His lips pulled up in the brightest smile I’d ever seen, and I couldn’t remember why I’d been so scared. I took one more glance at my cards before I finished. I was almost out of words, but I had more to say.

  “So, we’re supposed to be here to help people see what surviving looks like. We’re being compared to all of the bravest people I’ve ever met in my entire life, and honestly, it was overwhelming. I didn’t really know what it meant to be strong until I came here, and I guess that was the entire point. So, I want to say thank you to all the people who spoke today and for all those we met. I hope that one day, I could he half as brave as you are.”

  The applause was staggering, and I jumped at it. Riley caught me by the arms, and I realized it was over. I made it through, and I didn’t even throw up.

  Bennett and Wilson got on their feet, cheering us with the crowd. We left the stage, and I could breathe again.

  After all the speakers finished, we moved to the after event. It wasn’t quite a party, but it pretty much was. Drinks were had, and food was served. People mingled, and I huddled up with my friends. I decided that I didn’t want to drink anything. One bad experience was more than enough for me.

  Adalyn sat on the corner of a couch, picking at a plate of food while Bennett and I cuddled up to the other side. Riley and Wilson made the rounds, talking to people and being friendly. I wasn’t brave enough for that.

  I practically crushed Bennett with my body, falling all over him. He was my safe space, and he let me have him. Our hands were clasped, fingers laced, and my head rested on his shoulder as we watched the room come to life.

  “Tired?” Bennett asked me.

  I turned my head, pressing my lips to his shoulder. “A little.”

  “Do you want me to take you to bed?”

  “Not yet.”

  I caught sight of Keen walking with another woman, heading to us. The new woman didn’t look too far off our age, and her dress was all white, starkly contrasting her black hair pinned up to her head. She walked in graceful strides, stopping right in front of Adalyn.

  My sister saw the feet in front of her, and her big eyes slowly moved up. “Umm…” She held a piece of cheese on a toothpick in her fingers, and she’d been a second from having in her mouth.

  My instinct was to shoo the people away from her, but Keen started talking, and I didn’t want to be rude. Adalyn had me here if she needed.

  “Adalyn, this is my friend Pamela Quinn.” Keen gestured to the smiling woman.

  “Hello, Miss Mitchell,” the woman said, holding out a hand to shake Adalyn’s. Reluctantly, my sister shook her hand. “I’ve heard that you have an affinity for children’s books, and I happen to co-own a publishing house up north. Would you mind terribly if we spoke for a bit? I’m very curious to hear about what projects you’re working on.”

  Adalyn blinked, and then she looked at me expectantly like I was supposed to tell her what to do. So I did. “Adalyn would love to talk to you,” I said, smiling at the woman. “She’s amazing at drawing, and I happen to know she’s got a little story almost done.”

  “Fantastic,” the woman said with cheer.

  Adalyn handed her food to me and forced her ass off the couch before she got whisked away by the publisher lady. Huh, if Adalyn got some attention, then maybe Bennett could too. I had to work my puppets. Mwahaha.

  Keen gave us a light wave, and she went to introduce herself to Bennett. “Hi, I’m Keen. I take it you’re Layla’s boyfriend?”

  With a light blush, he cleared his throat. “Umm, no. I’m Bennett. Just a friend.”

  The woman seemed dubious, but she didn’t comment. I mean, we were hanging all over each other, so I knew what she saw. And maybe the way I refused to let go of Bennett’s hand or how I stared at him with longing that made my heart race when he looked back at me.

  “Ah, well, very nice to meet you.” The woman politely smiled and looked back to me. “Layla honey, I told Riley already, but I wanted to let you know I loved your speech. It was very honest, and I appreciate that.”

  “Thank you,” I said as I timidly hid behind Bennett.

  When we were alone again, I went back to people watching. The ones gathered here all chatted so naturally, and every moment that passed made me more frightened that I wouldn’t get there. That I would be afraid forever.

  When I first came above ground again, I thought I was brave. I thought that I could talk to people and be fine or go out in public. Things looked so different from here.

  I tugged on Bennett’s sleeve, and the boy smiled down on me. “Yes, my dear?”

  My heart fluttered. “Can we go up now?”

  He stood, taking my hand, and pulled me to my feet. Without saying goodbye to anyone at the party. Sneaking out was easy. So was Bennett taking some of the food and a bottle of apple cider. We got to the hall, and I walked backward, smirking at Bennett as he hid everything under his jacket. My lips pressed together in a pointless attempt to hold back a giggle.

  I felt genuine excitement as I opened up the door, and we went into the room. Bennett dumped everything on the bed, and I hurried to change into my sleep clothes. I threw on a very big shirt and went back to the bed.

  Bennett lost his clothes for the most part, sticking to his dress shirt and boxers. He was cracking open the bottle of cider when I got under the covers. He handed me the bottle, and I took a drink.

  He grabbed a lot of good stuff, mostly being junky foods that they probably got for the kids. Some of it was real food, like pigs in a blanket, and little bacon things.

  “You’re amazing,” I said to my friend.

  He kissed my cheek. “Thank you.”

  We sat there for hours, talking and eating,
and everything in the world felt so easy. I didn’t know why or how, but I knew that Bennett was all I wanted right now.

  When it was time to go to sleep, no one was back yet. We lay together, and he held me in his arms. I didn’t have nightmares when I was with him. When I dreamt, I dreamt of the two of us.

  woke up happily snuggling with Bennett behind me. His chin rested on my shoulder, and he was almost lying on my back. I didn’t mind it at all. I kind of liked being all smooshed up with him.

  I could hear people around us getting ready for the day, but I was in no mood to move. I was warm and comfortable, and Bennett growled in his sleep. His arm pressed right up against my chest, allowing my face to rest on his hand. This was all glorious.

  “The park doesn’t open till nine, honey,” Riley said, sounding far away. “You don’t have to shove the whole Pop- Tart in your mouth.”

  The response was mumbled, but I understood. “I’m not,” Wilson lied. “I just don’t want to get stuck in the elevator.”

  Riley giggled and didn’t say anything else.

  When it was time to get up, I wiggled under Bennett until his growls turned to whines. I patted the hand he had on me and said, “We need to shower.”

  He grumbled. “Sleep.”

  “Honey.”

  “Sleeeep.”

  “Guys!” Fingers snapped, and I opened my eyes to find Wilson in front of our bed. He snapped again. “We have hardly any time before we have to leave. If you want breakfast, you need to wake up.”

  Riley passed him, already dressed for the day. She turned her head and smirked at her boyfriend and his eagerness. “We’ll be fine,” she said to him. “I know you’re excited.”

  He cut her off. “For you,” he said. “I’m excited for you to get in the park and ride Space Mountain and Haunted Mansion and the railroad… Not me.”

  She kissed his cheek, lifting a foot into the air behind her. “I love you lots.”

  The man was twitchy like I’d ever seen him before. I watched him as I sat up on my elbows, and he scurried from one side of the room to the other, messing with whatever he could get his hands on. Riley was very amused and buried her face in a book so Wilson wouldn’t see.

  I left Bennett in bed while I took first turn at the shower, but Wilson insisted that Bennett go use theirs. Wilson packed up our things and loaded them into the party bus so that we wouldn’t have to do it early in the morning when we headed home and back to reality.

  It was pleasantly warm in this lovely state, so I got to wear shorts and a thin sweater. After I tied my hair up, I left the bathroom in hopes of finding something to eat. Wilson rushed by me, and he slammed a box of mini donuts to my chest on his way out the door.

  I found Bennett on our bed, tying his shoes. I sat beside him and shared my forced-upon breakfast while Riley hurried along to help Wilson. Adalyn laughed to herself, reading her book in the corner floor. She had her hat back on today, and I suspected she would keep it that way. It suited her too well.

  We were rushed through our food and then shoved out the door. Thank God we got our passes the night before, or I was afraid one of us would start crying. Wilson squeezed the life out of Riley’s hand as we entered the park.

  “Space Mountain first?” Riley asked Wilson.

  He shrugged. “I don’t care. Whatever you wanna do.” Wilson combed through his hair with his free hand.

  Riley grinned. “Space Mountain it is.”

  Wilson wanted to go again when we got off, so I headed into the shop with Bennett as Adalyn took more pictures outside. Her dad got her a special camera for the trip. She told me it was crazy expensive, but she was in love with taking pictures.

  “Oh, this has your name on it,” I said, touching the keychain with my fingertips. “I must buy it for you.” Quickly, I snatched it up and brought it to the counter.

  Another keychain was set beside it, and I heard the telltale sound of a zipper as Bennett opened his wallet. “I should get you one too.”

  I stared at the thing that had my name on it and cocked my head as I hummed. Before the woman could ring the first one up, I slid the one with my name to her, and she took it.

  Bennett looked at me questioningly, and I said, “I already know my name. So, you should get the one with mine, and I’ll have the one with yours.”

  A slow but wide smile spread across his face, then he nodded. “I like that.”

  Once we paid for our keychains, we gave them to the corresponding person, and my stomach did that fluttery thing again. I took Bennett’s hand, lacing our fingers together for the walk back to our friends.

  Wilson was wide-eyed and bushy-tailed as we ran to Matterhorn. He made sure that he and Riley got the front of the bobsled. Adalyn got one all her own, and she looked terrified the entire time. She screamed when the yeti popped out at us, but she still took a picture.

  We got off, and it was time to eat. We went to where they had that Star Wars show for kids, and we all got burgers that didn’t fill us up but cost way too much. Even Adalyn looked annoyed at the portions.

  “We’ll fill up on junk,” I decided as we looked at the map. “We can get corndogs later if we need.”

  Wilson snatched the map from my hands and buried his nose in it. “We should go on the carousel. Riley would like the carousel.”

  Yeah… Riley.

  She laughed, and when Wilson looked at her, she cleared her throat to cover it up. “Wrong pipe,” she gasped, pointing to her throat.

  With an arched brow, Wilson looked at the map again. “Oh! We should do the Winnie the Pooh ride then Splash Mountain.”

  I made a face. “I might sit that one out. A little cold to get wet.”

  “Yeah,” Bennett said.

  Wilson scoffed. “Cowards.”

  Kitty’s got claws… I couldn’t wait till we were at home again, so I could remind him how crazy pants he was when we were here. Riley looked so damn happy to watch him being like this.

  “The kids would really like it here,” he sighed, looking up at the Submarines. “We should bring them next time.”

  “Agreed,” Riley said with a solid nod. “And when we have babies, we’ll dress them up like Tigger and Pooh.”

  Wilson’s eyes lit up. No fucking joke. He looked like she made him immortal. “Really?”

  “Totally,” she said. “Our twins will be Winnie and Tigger, and our baby will be Piglet.”

  “Wonderful,” he breathed. “ONWARD!” he declared, taking Riley’s hand, and pulling her along.

  Bennett and I didn’t go with them, so we were all alone together in this big park, and I couldn’t have been happier when he put his arm around my shoulder. “Where to?”

  I bit my lip as I thought about it. “Umm, how about the Fantasyland part? It’s got all those slow kiddie rides.”

  “Lead the way.”

  Guilt poked at the back of my head when the inevitable thoughts of the center came to mind. People were sad and lonely and calling. I was here having a great time, and I felt awful about it. They needed me, and I abandoned them.

  Bennett slipped his arm around my shoulders, and he pulled me right up against him. “Why do you look so damn sad right now?”

  I might have stood a chance if I didn’t choose to look into his eyes. “I was thinking about the people whose calls I’m not taking right now.”

  He sighed in my ear. “Don’t.”

  “Don’t?”

  “Don’t,” he repeated. “Don’t be somewhere else while you’re here.”

  My eyes flickered to my wrist for half a second before I stared out in front of me. “How can I not think about it when I’m with you? If I wasn’t there when you called…”

  He picked up where I left off, not looking all that upset at the stupid thing I said. “Then someone else would have taken the call. I’m not going to tell you that I would have gone through with it if it wasn’t for you because I honestly don’t know. But I believe that the people calling right now are in capable han
ds.”

  I tucked myself against him, reaching out to feel something warm. I found his side, and I held it. “I’m scared for them.”

  He hushed me softly. “I know. Just be here with me. Please.”

  I nodded.

  We all caught up together when the sun began to set, and we got to the Castle in time to see the fireworks start. We sat on the ground, heads turned up to the sky while color exploded. It was so beautiful.

  “Louder than bombs,” Bennett muttered, smiling at the sky.

  “Hmm?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “Never mind.”

  I took his hand and smiled because I couldn’t do anything else.

  Bennett kissed my cheek, lingering a couple more seconds than he normally did. “Thank you for this. For bringing me here.”

  I beamed at him. “Thank you for making me stay. I don’t know where I’d be without you, Benny.”

  I stared at him as he enjoyed the show because he looked so much brighter to me. His eyes reflected the colors of the fire he adored, and my chest swelled with something inexpressible. It was the way he looked at it all. Like literal magic. Like he was a beautiful little boy seeing something beautiful for the first time. Everything about it was pure and wonderful and overwhelming. I was in love with how he looked right now and with how he saw this world.

  Ah, love. So, it wasn’t inexpressible.

  Bennett

  f I closed my eyes tight, I could feel her lips on mine and what she smelled like. A smile spread across my face in the darkness, and I sighed. Her hips in my hands was bliss like I didn’t know I could have. I wanted them there right now, but I didn’t have that. Not at all.

  Layla, Layla, Layla. Everything was her. In my head and my heart and my soul. Like every damn love song and sappy glance between old couples made sense all of the sudden. I saw color, and I tasted sugar on my tongue. I could look at her, and I lost the ability to hurt. Was that love? I honestly didn’t know. It was all-consuming, and I didn’t even care. It was beautiful.