I spent the car ride with Riley’s head on my lap, quietly singing to her. It was Come on Eileen, and I knew she was obsessed with that song. I pet her hair, and I sang to her over her mumbles and pleas. Wilson sped, his hands white knuckling the wheel. I wouldn’t be all that shocked if we got pulled over or hit a tree.
We got to the hospital, and Wilson rushed Riley away from me, not stopping to say a word. He left his door and hers open, so I took care of it before I hurried after them. He was just getting to the counter, holding my sister in his arms.
“Can I help you?” the bored looking nurse asked us.
“She needs a doctor,” I said. “She hurt her leg.” God, I wished my mom worked today. She would see her immediately.
The woman looked up at Wilson with accusation in her eyes. “And how did the young lady get hurt?” She took in the cries and the mumbling. The begging, really. Begging him not to hurt her.
Fuck.
I cut in front of Wilson and snapped at the bitch. “She slipped in water and fell. She’s mentally ill, not that that’s any of your goddamn business. If she doesn’t stop hurting soon, she’s going to need to be sedated.”
The slag slammed a clipboard in front of me. “Check in, and we’ll get her a doctor as soon as we can,” she deadpanned then faked a smile. Oh, there was a special place in Hell for cows like her. And not the nice side with castles and cake.
I took the clipboard. “Have a nice day.” When I turned, I mumbled, “And don’t choke on a ham sandwich, asshole.”
I sat down and crossed my legs hard enough to cause pain to my lady parts. I harshly scrawled on the paper, scratching with purpose as Wilson sat down with Riley. Her head tucked under his chin, and her eyes shut as she begged him and promised to be a good girl. Every word out of her mouth was like a stab to my chest.
“I promise,” Riley whispered as she clutched Wilson. “I won’t do anything bad. Just don’t put me in the dark.”
Wilson swallowed dryly, and his eyes were like two voids. “You’re okay, baby. I’m right here, and you’re going to be fine. We’ll fix you up, and then I’ll take you home and put you in bed. I’ll make you something nice to eat.”
Riley whimpered, and he hushed her.
I filled out as much of the stupid form as I could, but so much of it I didn’t know. Riley wouldn’t know either, even if she was aware of her surroundings. “Fuck,” I hissed, locking my fingers in my hair.
“What?” Wilson asked.
“I can’t fill this out. If I call her parents, then they’ll freak out and never let her leave the house again. They should probably know…”
He shrugged, unable to offer more help.
Okay, then, I would do the best I could. I filled it in and returned it to the lady up front. I didn’t look at her.
“Oh my goodness,” someone said, and I knew that tone. Dammit. Not here.
It was an older lady, maybe in her fifties or something. She looked at Riley, and I recognized that expression on her stupid face. She began to approach her, and I intercepted.
“Not right now,” I said, not bothering with nice.
The hag blinked at me. “Oh, you too. Where’s the other one? Do you little Paperdoll girls travel together? That’s so cute.” She beamed at me. Fucking beamed.
That was when I lost it and started screaming at a woman in the middle of the emergency room waiting area. She looked awfully surprised, and Wilson didn’t even notice.
The security people noticed…
I was picked up by the arms and hauled out of the room, kicking and screaming for them to set me down. I couldn’t leave Riley. She needed me. Wilson needed me. I couldn’t go.
The security people all but threw me out of the building. One of them stayed with me, making sure I didn’t try and get back in. I was stuck. Stuck here while my sister was inside. The man didn’t care. He didn’t care that she needed me or that that bitch was probably harassing her right now. I was completely and utterly… helpless. Right back to where I started.
I stood there, staring up at the sky as it opened up, beginning to sprinkle rain down on me.
Bennett
er skin was warm under my hand as she lay beside me on her back. I stayed on my side because I wanted to look at her. She was stunning, even with bloodshot eyes. They’d faded a little since last night. She cried her eyes out then pushed me into bed. I couldn’t tell her no.
I ran my fingers up and down her torso, starting at her heart and stopping at her belly button each time. She watched me, smiling. I didn’t think she was aware of how happy I felt right now.
“That feels very pleasant,” she said softly. Layla covered my hand with hers on her stomach and wrapped her fingers around it. She pulled my hand up and rested it on her cheek. “I don’t wanna go home.”
I leaned down to her, and I left a kiss under her ear. “Then don’t.”
“Benny,” she sighed, but I heard the smile. “If your mom catches me in here…”
“She won’t,” I promised.
I pulled my hand from hers, and I let it slide down her body as I gave her earlobe attention. Her hips moved up in anticipation, and I slowed down, enjoying her eagerness too much. When my hand was finally between her legs, she gasped, and her eyes shut as her lips fell open.
Layla pulled my face until our lips met, and I was given weak kisses while her body moved with my rhythm. I went until she had to stifle a moan, and she went slack on the bed, staring at me with mostly closed eyes.
I kissed her cheek, and she giggled happily. “Hmm. Not normally so… assertive.”
I froze, and I arched an eyebrow down at her. “Assertive?”
She shrugged. “You normally ask before you touch me at all.” There was an even wider smile on her face when she blinked. “I liked it though.”
I’d have to keep that one in mind. Layla told me last time we did this that we wouldn’t do it again. In fact, she said that every time. I had enough faith to believe that this wouldn’t be the last time I found her in my bed. We needed each other. She’d figure it out eventually. For now, I was happy with any moment she wanted to spend with me.
She showed up at my window, soaked to the bone, and coming off of what looked like a crying fit. She filled me in on what happened with Riley, and I held Layla until she decided she needed another form of comfort. I wanted to give her anything she asked for. If she needed me to distract her, I would.
“I need to check on Riley,” Layla sighed, putting her head on my chest. “I’m sure Wilson had a hard night.”
I stroked her hair, trying to compose myself from the mild panic at the thought of her leaving. “Yeah, he probably did. I can only imagine how scary that was. I’d give you a ride home if I wasn’t stuck in the house.”
Layla grimaced at me. “Oh, yeah, grounded… I really hope she lets you off soon.”
I shrugged.
I watched Layla look at me, eyes getting sad again. I thought she was going to say something to me, but she smirked instead and ducked under the blanket.
Holy fucking fuck.
Just… no warning at all before she was going to town on me. I groaned obnoxiously when I felt her mouth around me. I was dead, right? I died in my sleep, and now I was in Heaven. That was fine with me. I could handle death if this was it. How… how could something feel that wonderful when I thought I already found bliss with Layla?
It didn’t take very long at all, and Layla came back up, flipping her hair over her head and smiling. “I guess I’ll see you later.”
I sat up and blinked. “Are you kidding me?” She was gonna leave me after that?
She kissed my cheek. “Sorry, honey, but I don’t wanna get caught in here. I promise I’ll see you again as soon as I can.”
Layla got off of the bed, and I watched her dress in her now dry clothes. Oh, I was going to have a difficult time getting through the rest of the day without her here.
She snuck out the window, and I lay on my bed, staring at th
e ceiling. I guess I was supposed to go try and be a person now. Meant to be able to function in real life when I knew what the best part of it was. Layla was a cruel, cruel girl. I loved her more for it.
I managed a shower without collapsing from wonderful memories, and I dressed in new clothes. I went back to my room and sat on the bed, trying to slip into a world in my head where Layla didn’t leave me. She had very good reasons to go, but it didn’t make me miss her any less.
I almost fell asleep again when Mom knocked on my door. I sat up when she walked in with a tray of food. All my breakfast favorites.
“Morning, hon,” she said. “You’re up early. I heard you in the shower.”
I shrugged. “I went to bed early.” Not totally a lie…
Mom handed me the tray, and I thanked her for it. I couldn’t remember the last time she made me breakfast in bed. I think it was my birthday.
“About that bedtime thing,” she said. “I imagine you’re quite bored without your phone and things, so I figured I should lift your grounding. You’ve been good about getting your chores done these last few days.” She reached into her pocket and retrieved my phone before handing it to me. “Maybe you can spend some time with Layla. Get out of the house and take her to lunch or something. Do you need a little money?”
I shook my head. “No, but thanks,” I said with a smile. Sweet freedom.
Mom nodded and slipped her hands in her back pockets. “Have fun. Don’t be back too late. Okay?”
I agreed, and she left the house. I started in on my eggs, pushing the scrambled cheesy goodness onto toast to make a sandwich. I ate with one hand and texted Layla with the other. She caught me up on Riley, saying she broke a little bone in her ankle, and that she was doing much better. Riley stayed the night with Adalyn and Wilson, and she snapped out of that horrible trance thing she had been in.
That guy who took them when they were kids… Layla didn’t like talking about him, but I knew enough. She told me he used to hurt them all, but she got it a little worse than the other girls did. I couldn’t get too much information from Layla, though Riley had told me a little more. Layla liked putting up a fight because that was who she was. Never one to bow her head and go with it. Not to dig on the other girls, but Layla was louder in her fight. She spent more time in that healing room than any of them did. Beatings a couple times a week on occasion. Or at least what they thought was a week. She knew what it felt like to be me, and I thought that was what gave her that miserable look in her eyes sometimes.
I hated what happened to her, and I hated how she didn’t let herself feel it. Ignoring it was her way of coping, I guess, but I worried for the day she snapped like Riley did.
I finished my breakfast and did all my chores before I started for Layla’s house. She said that she wanted to go see Riley later, so I was going with her. I would be the odd man out, but at least I would get to be with her.
Layla let me into her house, and she looked so damn happy as we went up her stairs. The dog followed us into her bedroom, where she had been putting away her clothes while waiting for me. Something felt a little off about the room, but I couldn’t quite place it, so I ignored it and sat on her bed.
“You can catch up on sleep if you want to,” Layla said, smirking as she folded a dress. “I know you’re worn out.”
I smiled back at her, matching the smug look she had. “If I recall, you were worn out too.”
She tossed a shirt on the bed, and her eyebrows both went up. “You think so?”
“I do.”
She laughed. “I think we both know who gives it better, sweetheart. It’s okay if you wanna admit that I rock your world.”
We went on like that as she started putting her clothes in her closet. I most certainly looked at her bottom as she did it because she couldn’t stop me. She reached up to put something in a cubby, and I got a very nice angle of what she was working with.
Wait…
“What happened to your dresser?” I asked.
It was normally in the corner, and most of the drawers would hang open. She liked to use it to toss stuff she didn’t want to put away.
Layla looked over her shoulder casually, but her face told me something was up. She looked at the shirt in her hands, and her throat worked as she tried to come up with something that only sounded shaky to me. “Got rid of it,” she spat out and jammed a hanger into the sleeves.
Huh. “Why?”
Layla turned her body, making it so I couldn’t see even a trace of her expression. She lifted up on her toes to hang the shirt high. “I didn’t want it anymore.”
I would have dropped it if she didn’t sound so odd. It was a rare time when she didn’t speak with the confidence of a smug bastard. She sounded like a little girl right now, afraid her father was going to find out she swept dirt under the rug.
Something made me feel like getting off of the bed. Maybe it was the unease I felt at this whole thing or the little gash I saw on her wall just a few inches from where her dresser used to be.
I was halfway to the wall from her bed when Layla grabbed me by the arm. I didn’t even hear her come up. “What are you doing?” She pulled me back, and I went in that direction with ease.
I stopped only because she asked me to, but I didn’t let her off that easy. “What happened to your dresser, Layla?” I wasn’t aggressive like she’d been. I met her with calm because she could only respond in like.
She let go of me and crossed her arms, looking at the floor again. “I broke it, okay?” Layla looked back up at me. “I broke it. I was pissed off, and I took it out on wood. Are you happy?”
My eyebrows pushed together, and my tongue touched the roof of my mouth as I tried to comprehend how she said that like it wasn’t a big deal. “You broke it? How?”
“With a bat,” she added.
“A bat? You smashed it with a bat?”
Her foot tapped on the floor like she was irritated. Really? I wasn’t the one going nuts on furniture. “A bat,” she repeated, snippier than before.
I shook my head, trying to clear the picture out of it where Layla destroyed a dresser. Being so angry that she wanted to cause harm to something. She was so quick to anger, and it was dangerous. I doubted she cared that much.
“Do you do that a lot?” I asked.
She blinked. “Do what? Destroy dressers? What do you think?”
I sighed. “No, I mean, how often do you freak out and start smashing things?”
Layla looked away. “I stopped. I got all woozy and I stopped, okay?”
“What?” I asked, my voice louder. “You got woozy? What the hell? Did you go see a doctor? Are you okay?”
I put my hands on her face, tilting it up so that I could inspect her for damage. She pulled my hands off. “I didn’t pass out for that long, Bennett. Calm down.”
Pass out. She passed out, and she didn’t tell me. How could she not tell me that? Worse was that she didn’t think this mattered at all. “You could have an injury,” I told her.
She scoffed at me and moved farther back. “Do you get taken to the hospital?
“We’re not talking about me,” I said. “We’re taking about you and your anger issues.”
She laughed and sneered at me. “Because somehow I’m the one with issues here. Not you.”
“Not right now.”
Her arms flailed in the air. “Why do you care if I get mad once in a while? I’m not hurting myself. Not like you are.”
“I can handle it,” I said, raising my voice when I didn’t mean to. “I can’t stand the thought of you so upset that you think you have to be violent. We’ve had so much violence in our lives already, Layla. Can’t we let it stop here?”
She stepped to me and stared with fire in her eyes. “Big talk from a boy who lets his mother hurt him and doesn’t do a goddamn thing about it. Why the fuck do I matter more to you than you do to yourself?”
It was so obvious to me that I didn’t even think before I said it. “B
ecause I love you and I don’t want you hurting.”
I watched the words hit her, and her eyes opened wide. “What?” she whispered.
Fuck. I scared her. What did I do now? Lie and take it back? That would only hurt her more, but I didn’t want her thinking I was using this as a weapon. Someone as broken as she was wouldn’t see the forest for the trees. She couldn’t see me now, and I didn’t know what that meant for us.
I took her hands, and I didn’t let her pull them away from me.
“Layla,” I spoke softly, examining the fear in her eyes. “I care because I love you. You scare me sometimes. All of this scares me,” I said, smiling. “When you touch me, I’m scared, and when you look at me like I’m a life raft. I’m scared, but it’s not making me run away from you. Is it too much to ask that you do the same?”
I kept staring at her, waiting while I held my breath. Layla blinked, and she parted her lips. “You’re in love with me?”
I nodded.
She closed her eyes for longer, maybe ten seconds this time. “I don’t really know what to say to that.” She got her hands back and crossed her arms once more.
I knew she would do this to me, and I was fine with it. I would take all I could get from her because I didn’t even deserve this much.
I shrugged. “You don’t have to say anything to me. Just please, come to me if you’re feeling bad again. We can comfort each other.”
It took her a few more seconds, but she moved forward and wrapped her arms around me. “Okay. I promise.”
I couldn’t tell if she was lying. It would have to do for now, and I would make sure she was safe as long as I was with her. The only way I could win this was if I fought it from the inside.
ell that car ride was awkward as fuck. What was I supposed to do now? Bennett thought he was in love with me, and he seemed very, very convinced. Maybe that wasn’t so crazy. I was his first, and we had a bond that no one else had with each other. I mean… I could probably convince myself I was in love with him too. Like when he smiled at me or the way he looked at my lips and back up to my eyes when he was about to kiss me. And I could have believed that I was in love with him for the way he made me feel less broken than I knew I was. Because I knew. As much as I hated to admit it, I knew that there was a lot wrong with me.
The Dreamhouse Page 20
