My Clarity

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My Clarity Page 2

by M. Clarke


  “You better. And you better keep in touch and not forget about me,” Emma started to tear up again.

  It was difficult to say goodbye to the best friend I’ve had since kindergarten. Being an only child, she was like a sister to me. We did all sorts of crazy stuff together and we knew each other’s deepest secrets—which wasn’t much, since we weren’t the rebel types. The only bad thing we did together was sneak out of the house to go to parties.

  “Now who’s the one crying,” I said as my lips quivered.

  “I’m going to be jealous of your new roommate. What was her name again?”

  “Jimmy told me her name is Ellie. Well, he texted me. I was lucky I even got a text from my cousin, let alone a phone call. You know how he is.”

  “I can’t believe Jimmy had a female roommate. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but personally, I would prefer to live with the same gender.”

  “I know, right? But I’m sure they worked it out. Who’s to say opposite sexes can’t be roommates?”

  “True. But you better not like her more than me,” she scowled playfully, trying to lighten the mood.

  “I could never. I’m only three hours away. Maybe you can visit.”

  Emma’s eyes lit up and shifted to her car. “I would love to, but I don’t think this clunker could make the long drive. And don’t let Liam visit you.”

  “Emma,” I said her name a bit too loud. “He’s not as bad as you think.”

  “That’s right. He’s actually worse. If he really cared, he would be driving you to your new place.”

  “He’s busy. And he lives too freakin’ far. I’m lucky to even get a visit from him.”

  “It still isn’t a good excuse. If he cared enough to try to get into your pants, he should care enough to drive you there instead of making you take the bus. Your dad wouldn’t have liked him.”

  When my eyes widened in surprise, she spoke again. “I’m sorry. I only want the best for you, and I don’t think he’s it.”

  “You can’t help whom you fall in love with,” I commented, but what I really wanted to say was that I didn’t know if I loved Liam. It was too much to think about…too much to admit on top of my already broken heart.

  Liam and I started dating several months before Dad passed away. Dad never got to meet him. I wanted to wait until things got serious, because I knew no matter whom I brought home, he wouldn’t have been good enough for his sunshine. “I’m a big girl. I’ll be the judge, but I thank you for caring,” I stated with a smile.

  Not wanting to be the type of girl who needed a guy to take care of her, it had never crossed my mind to have Liam drive me. I didn’t want to be like my mom. I could tell my stepdad took good care of her. Perhaps it’s the reason why she left Dad.

  With a heavy sigh, Emma turned to the sound of the bus slowing down. “Next stop is to begin your new adventure.”

  “I’ll come back for Christmas, and I’ll text you as often as I can.” My tone was full of promise, but we both knew that the distance was going to be a killer. I already felt it with Liam. I was hoping it would be different between us.

  “Go…before I don’t let you,” she said when the door to the bus opened. A few passengers already placed their bags inside the storage compartment. I decided I should do the same. After Emma helped me, she gave me another hug and backed away.

  Giving her my pouty face, I headed up the bus steps.

  “If you ever want something from a guy, make sure to pout. You have one hell of a sexy pout.”

  “Yeah, right,” I laughed, waving to her as I handed the driver my ticket. The air-conditioned bus immediately cooled me down, giving me shivers. I found a window seat and sat down. I looked out the window and saw Emma still standing there, so I gave her a reassuring smile and waved. She appeared smaller and smaller until she was nothing but a tiny blur.

  I turned to face the front, but kept my eyes staring out the window. I couldn’t believe I was actually doing this. I was going to live out on my own and create my own adventure. I was an open book, blank pages yet to be written on. How cool was that!

  Well Dad, I thought to myself. I’m really doing this. I’m really excited and nervous, but I know you’re with me. You’re always with me. Then somehow, I felt a sense of ease trickle through me, slowly releasing the tension I’d felt since getting on the bus. Talking to my dad, even though he wasn’t here, always helped me through whatever I was facing.

  Chapter 2

  Alexandria

  As the party music rang in my ears, I couldn’t help but sway a little to the rhythm of the melody as I headed to my destination. Wheeling a suitcase behind me, a small duffel bag in my other hand and a purse strap over my shoulder, I searched for 48 Dartmouth Court. I prayed that the party was not at the condo I would be staying at.

  The exterior of the buildings all looked the same, with the same beige paint. You couldn’t tell them apart, except for the address. It looked to be a single-level condo with each unit attached side by side. As long as it was in a livable condition, I didn’t care.

  The streetlights provided enough light, and the numbers getting higher indicated I was getting closer. Finding a place to live near the college was not an easy thing to do. Lucky for me, my cousin Jimmy graduated and told me I could take his old room. I was hesitant, but I had no other choice since my funds were limited.

  One of the perks was that the furniture and basic appliances were already provided and all I had to do was move in. There was only one condition; I had to live with a roommate. From what my cousin said in his text, she seemed like a really nice person. No biggie. I could handle a roommate, I hoped.

  Looking at the address on my text again just to confirm, I knew today wasn’t my lucky day. The music was blasting out of 48. Great! Approaching the doorway, there were two guys and a girl with their backs to me.

  When the first guy turned, my heart skipped a beat and our eyes locked for who knew how long. With dark brown hair and piercing, beautiful eyes that twinkled just underneath the light, he was attractive. I could even tell he had a nice, toned body from the gray tank top he was wearing.

  I didn’t know what to do. I lost my words. His stare became intense. I waited for any type of greeting, but he continued to stare in silence. With a fast sweep of his eyes from my head to my toes, he finally shifted them away from me. Maybe he didn’t like what he saw, but I didn’t care.

  “Lookie here,” the second guy said, breaking my trance. “Hello, sweetheart. How can I help you?” His words came out too playful.

  “I…umm. Is this 48 Dartmouth Court?” I asked shyly, wringing a strand of my hair around my index finger, then quickly dropped it when I saw his eyes widen with amusement.

  “It sure is. Are you here to party or spend the night?” His eyes fell to my suitcase.

  “Oh…I’m Jimmy’s cousin. I’m taking over his room. I’m Alexandria, but he calls me Alex.”

  “You’re Alex?” the second guy said too excitedly, laughing out loud. “I thought Alex was a guy. How about that?” He nudged the first guy, but he didn’t bother to reply.

  “Oh My God! You’re Alex? I should’ve known.” The pretty brunette’s tone rose with elation. With beautiful green eyes, her soft curls passed her shoulders. Wearing shorts and a black tank top, I didn’t blame her. We were dressed similar. The blistering heat was unbearable today and it carried over into the night.

  “I’m Lexy,” she said, extending her hand to shake mine. “Jimmy is a good friend of mine. Actually, a good friend to all of us.” She gestured to the guys.

  “Lexy,” I repeated, returning the heartfelt smile, releasing her hand. “Jimmy told me to get in touch with you. He spoke highly of you.”

  “I don’t know about that,” the second guy teased, chuckling. “Unless you want a good time.” He got a good smack from Lexy. “I’m Seth. If I knew you were Alex, I would have told Jimmy to send you my way. I have a spare room if you change your mind about this place, or if yo
u don’t like your roommate,” he winked.

  Seth had that kind of baby face that would make you trust him easily. The look you could warm up to, because he had a sweet smile. But knowing him for only a couple of minutes, he was obviously a big flirt.

  “I…um…thanks,” I said quickly, feeling my face warm up. I didn’t want to be rude, but I wasn’t sure if I should have said that since he was flirting.

  The first guy hadn’t said a word. I glanced up to see if he would introduce himself, but he wasn’t even looking my way. He just lit a cigarette and puffed away. Only when I started coughing from the horrid smell, he looked at me with a short, irritated sigh. It was a fast glance, and then he turned his back to me. Great! I just got here and I already met someone who doesn’t like me.

  “Let me take you to your room,” Seth said, taking my suitcase.

  “I’ll see you inside,” Lexy muttered. “Say hi to your roommate, Ellie, for me.” Lexy let out a hearty laugh as she accentuated the word “Ellie.”

  It only made me wonder if this Ellie was going to be a friend or a nightmare. “I will,” I said, and then followed behind Seth. I turned when I heard a low grumble sound from the smoker. He looked surprised when my eyes caught his, most likely thinking I wouldn’t have turned. I just hoped I didn’t have to see him around any time soon.

  It was difficult to follow Seth through the mass of people inside, but I couldn’t miss him. He was taller than most of the people in the crowd, so I could see the tips of his blond hair. There were several small groups of guests talking and holding red plastic cups. Someone was behind the dining table making drinks. Several couples were making out on the couch. They seriously needed to get a room. Others were near the DJ and on the balcony, shaking and grinding their bodies against each other to the music.

  Pushing through while bumping into bodies, I managed to catch up to Seth, who looked over his shoulder to see if I was following.

  “Here’s your room,” he said, opening the door.

  “Oh God!” I yelped, covering my mouth from saying anything else. A couple was having sex.

  Seth slammed the door. “I’m sorry. I’ll be right back.”

  He went inside and shut the door behind him. Cursing and shouting penetrated through the door, even with the loud music. He was kicking the two naked people out of my room. I guess I’m shopping for new sheets…or better yet, a brand new bed. Gross! The couple was still making out as they chuckled and left the room without showing any hint of embarrassment. At least they had put their clothes on.

  “Let’s try this again.” Seth gestured for me to go in first. “Ellie kept this part of the condo pretty clean.”

  Seth was right, but I couldn’t tell from his tone if it was a question or a comment. There was a bed, a dresser, and a desk. It was pretty empty, so I didn’t know what Seth was talking about. How could you make a mess when there is nothing to make a mess with? I was more than happy to see that this room was in good condition. The white walls and the carpet met my standards.

  “Did you drive here?” he asked, breaking my observation.

  “No. I took the bus and walked the rest of the way. It wasn’t too far from the bus stop.”

  “You should’ve called one of us. Did Jimmy give you our numbers?”

  “He gave me Lexy’s, but I didn’t want to bother her.”

  “Give me your phone,” he demanded, but his tone was polite.

  So I did. Seth punched the keys away and gave it back to me. “I’ve set my number. Call me if you need anything. Jimmy and I are fraternity brothers. Actually, he’s my big bro, so that makes you like my little sis.” He lit a quick grin, a way of confirming I would be fine, and then continued. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call.”

  “Thanks, Seth. I appreciate it.”

  “Do you want to come out and meet my friends? Actually, I only know a few of them. I have no idea who the rest of these people are,” he chuckled. “If I introduce you as Jimmy’s cousin, they won’t try to hit on you. And please don’t walk alone on campus at night. Pretty girls such as yourself can get into a whole lot of trouble around here. Crazy people come out at night.”

  “Okay,” I replied, blushing from him calling me pretty. He was very forward. “Let me wash up first. I feel all sticky.”

  “I’ll wait for you by the kitchen.”

  “Thanks.”

  “By the way. There is only one bathroom so make sure to lock the doors on either side. I know this because I practically live here,” he informed with a shrug.

  “I’ll remember to do that.” Before Seth could step out of the room, I asked him a question. “Do you know where Ellie is?”

  “Oh.” He seemed a bit nervous or amused. I couldn’t tell. “I’m sure Ellie is around here, somewhere. Don’t worry about it. You’ll meet Ellie soon.”

  “Okay.” It was all I could say, but I did worry about it. Why wouldn’t she be at her own party? I hoped she didn’t like to throw parties on a regular basis. From what Jimmy texted me, she seemed really nice. I was actually looking forward to getting to know her. I prayed we would get along.

  Chapter 3

  Alexandria

  After I texted my mom, Emma, and Liam that I had arrived safely, I took a quick shower. I didn’t even bother to dry my hair or put on makeup. What was the point? I wasn’t trying to impress anyone. Slipping on another pair of shorts and the white tank top with the pretty little designs, I was refreshed and ready.

  Not wanting anyone else to come and look through my stuff, I shoved my belongings inside the empty closet. Who knew who else would come in here when I left the room? Suddenly, nervousness settled through me. I dragged in a deep breath as I wondered if I would fit in. It was always difficult being the new person.

  Since I didn’t want Seth waiting for me too long, I rushed out the door, making sure to close it behind me. Feeling the bass of the music drumming against my chest, I headed to the kitchen. On the way, I got comments like, “Hey baby, come drink with me.” Seth was right. Standing alone, I was being hit on left and right; most of them were drunk and probably looking to get laid.

  “Alex…here.” Seth waved his beer bottle, yelling over the music. He was standing near the dining area.

  I waved back letting him know I saw him.

  “This is Dean.” He pointed to his friend, standing next to him. Dean was shorter than Seth with warm hazel eyes.

  “Hi,” I smiled.

  “Hey,” he grinned, taking my hand to shake. “You’re Jimmy’s cousin. I’ve heard so much about you.”

  My eyes were wide with curiosity. Had Jimmy been talking about me?

  “Shut up,” Seth chuckled. “I just told him that you were a minute ago.” He rolled his eyes. “Would you like anything to drink?”

  “No thanks. I mean…not beer. But could I have some water?” I replied, observing the hard-core party that was happening right in front of my eyes.

  “I’ll be right back.” When Seth left, I suddenly felt alone, even with Dean beside me. Knowing Seth was a good friend of Jimmy gave me a sense of security and comfort since I was new here.

  Jimmy must have been a partier, but at least he had a good head on his shoulders. He got into UC Berkeley Business Graduate School. That made me wonder about the people around me though.

  I was stunned into silence by the number of wasted girls. I didn’t want to judge, but why would they do that? Although, I did give them some credit for not giving a damn. Sometimes I wish I didn’t care so much. I’d like to be a little more adventurous and do something I wouldn’t normally do, live a little more on the daring side.

  “Where did you come from?” Dean asked, breaking me away from the uncomfortable setting.

  “I’m from a small town about three hours from here.”

  “Seth tells me you’re a freshman.”

  “Yes.” My answer was short. I didn’t want him to ask me questions. I didn’t want to share.

  “So, did you leave a boy
friend behind?”

  “Yes, sort of.” I didn’t know why I hesitated.

  “Oh, one of those situations.” He took a sip from his red cup.

  “What do you mean ‘one of those’?” Though I was a bit offended, I hoped my tone didn’t give him that impression.

  “It just sounded like you weren’t sure. You know, like I’m with someone, but I don’t know if it will last.”

  I smiled in understanding. “Actually, it’s more like I’m in a relationship with this guy, but don’t know what’s going on. So, I guess you’re right on the spot.” I’m an idiot.

  “Here you go. Sorry, I had to step out for a sec,” Seth said, thankfully breaking up our conversation, handing me a bottle of water. I was beginning to wonder if he was ever coming back.

  “Thanks.” Unscrewing the cap, I took a sip. It felt refreshing going down my throat, cooling me from this wretched heat. With so many people in the condo, the air-conditioner did little to cool the place down.

  “When do your parties usually end?” I asked, trying not to sound like a party pooper.

  “Sometimes they go all night,” Seth answered. “But I’ll shoo them out earlier since tonight is your first time here.”

  “No, it’s okay.” I was thankful that he would do such a thing, but at the same time, I didn’t want him to change anything because of me. “I’ll just close my door and turn off the lights. I’m so tired, I’m sure I’ll just fall asleep.” I hoped.

  “Hey! You washed up and changed,” Lexy cheered, appearing suddenly, pushing aside the people in her way. “Sorry about the party. We didn’t know you were coming today.”

  When I turned to her, I saw the smoker. My eyes had a mind of their own. I didn’t mean to glance his way, but his presence demanded attention. I thought the first time my heart fluttered mercilessly was due to heat, but it did it again when I looked at him. His eyes met mine longer than I wanted them to, but he broke away first. That’s when I saw the beautiful black dragon tattoo on his right arm, enclosed by a circular shape. The body of the dragon swirled, like a snake. The design was exquisite, etched on the curve of his tanned, toned bicep. It made him appear dangerous, badass; my curiosity kicked in. It was way too sexy for my eyes.

 

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