Marks on My Skin (Love & Ink #1)

by J. A. Howell

  I glanced at the girls in question as they let out another round of giggles. “They don’t look easily frightened.”

  “Frightened, distracted. Either way, I’m workin’. It needs ta stay a professional environment.”

  The petite blonde of the group came up, hanging an arm over Niall’s shoulder and whispering something in his ear that made his mouth twitch in a rather devious manner.

  “Right. Professional environment. I’ll leave ya ta yer work.”

  In the back bedroom I tossed my bag on the floor, and turned on my phone. Kendall had sent several more texts. Apparently, “I need time to think”, didn’t mean the same thing to her. With a sigh I messaged her back.

  :I told you I needed time.:

  The phone buzzed a few minutes later.

  :But I love you. I want to make this better. I want to make this work.:

  :I don’t think you can make this better. I don’t think I want to make this work anymore.:

  :What are you saying, Kier?:

  A knot twisted in my chest as I stared down at my phone. Even with all she’d put me through, I still didn’t want to hurt her. My fingers twitched over the screen of my phone and my heart sank. But no, I had to do this.

  :I’m saying I want a divorce.:

  I swallowed hard and pressed the send button. I should have felt relieved but I felt sick to my stomach. The phone rang a minute later but I turned it off.

  “Feckin’ hell.” I groaned and laid my head back against the pillow. Thoughts of Shayne made their way back into my mind and I ached to be lying next to her right now, all of this shite with Kendall forgotten—if only momentarily. It wouldn’t fix anything, I knew that. Shayne didn’t want anything more and I was a bloody feckin’ mess as it was.

  Still, as my eyes drifted close, I thought of her. Visions of her stretched out against her bedspread and smiling up at me pushed away the painful visions of Kendall. The ones that reminded me that my marriage was over, and had in fact been over for quite some time now.

  Things between Liam and I had been incredibly awkward the entire day and I took extra pains to avoid him. My last client left and after I’d cleaned up my station, I made a beeline for the restroom to splash cool water on my face. A couple times Liam had tried to talk to me, but I didn’t want to talk. I wanted to get out of here. I needed to put some space between us so both of us could cool down. Unfortunately, as things always go, I ran right into his broad chest the moment I stumbled out into the hall.

  “Shayne,” he said softly.

  “I need to get going.” I kept my eyes down and attempted to step around him, but he stepped closer and blocked my path.

  “Wait, please.” Liam’s hand gently grasped my arm and my resolve melted. I looked up at him to see his blue eyes intent on me. They were a similar blue to Kieran’s, just a few shades darker.

  “Fine. What else do you have to say?”

  He frowned at my cold tone, but didn’t falter.

  “What I said earlier, about ya and my brother, I shouldn’t have said it like I did. It’s just…ya deserve more than that. More than being someone’s rebound.”

  With a sigh I tried to pull out of his grasp but his grip on my arm tightened. I fixed him with a sharp, exasperated look.

  “I’m a big girl, Liam. I can take care of myself.” I growled and pulled against his strong hold on me.

  “I know ya can. It’s not that. But this thing with Kieran, ya say ya two are just having fun and that’s all ya want, but I know ya. I know ya need more. Ya need someone that really cares about ya.” His features softened with the last words and a lump swelled in my throat. Surely he wasn’t talking about what I thought he was talking about.

  I stilled for a moment, staring at him. His hand came up and brushed my cheek.

  “Liam, I don’t think that’s—”

  Liam closed the gap between us and backed me against the wall. His lips pressed against mine before I could pull away and a soft, yearning groan shook through him. He tasted like Dr. Pepper and his stubble scraped against my chin as he urged my lips apart. I tried to protest and instead our front teeth scraped together, making both of us wince.

  “Feck, I didn’t mean ta do that. I didn’t break yer tooth did I?” He rasped, holding a hand to his mouth to check his teeth.

  “Liam…” I started, forcing myself to hold his gaze. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s fine. I guess I was just a little too eager.” He joked, but I saw the broken look in his eyes.

  “You’re my best friend…I just don’t feel that way about you.”

  Liam’s hand dropped off my arm, and he turned away. “Right,” he said with a dry laugh. “Of course ya don’t.”

  I reached for him but he shrugged away without even looking at me.

  “Liam, wait.”

  “I need ta go. Lock up before ya leave.”

  The door slammed behind him, jarring me. I stared at it, listening to Liam storm to his car, rev the engine, and peel out of the alley behind the shop. Life would be so much easier if I could have just kissed him back, could have just felt something. But when his lips touched mine, all I could think about was Kieran. Kieran, who had obviously been avoiding me since everything had happened this morning.

  Wasting no time, I snatched my purse out of the office, locked up the shop, and headed to Finley’s Pub. I needed a drink.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Popcorn & Drive Ins

  A bang on the door awoke me and I glanced toward the window. The sky outside was a deep blue-black. Had I really slept that long?

  “Kier, ya plannin’ ta sleep all day or what?”

  “Maybe,” I grunted and rubbed a hand over my face. Niall walked into the room and appraised me with a look of disapproval.

  “Get yer lazy arse up. I want ta go fer a drink, maybe look fer some new models.” His lips curled up at the corners with his last words.

  “Fine…I could use a drink. I told Kendall.”

  Niall’s eyes widened. “Be ready in five. First round’s on me in that case.”

  I nodded and pulled myself out of bed as he disappeared into the hall. The icy water from the tap helped to wake me up and calm the thoughts of Shayne and Kendall that swam through my head. I had no idea what to say to Shayne after letting Liam drag me out of her apartment with my tail between my legs. For now, I’d try not to think about it. Try not to think about anything. I dressed and met Niall in the living room five minutes later and we headed to Finley’s pub to grab a drink and a couple rounds of pool.

  “So what did Kendall say when ya dropped the bomb?” Niall asked after he’d parked the car.

  “I don’t know. I turned off my phone.”

  He snorted next to me and pulled the door open. “Please tell me ya didn’t tell yer wife ya want a divorce via text.”

  I gave him a wry grin. “I might have. Not like she didn’t deserve it.”

  He didn’t argue with that. Instead he went toward the redhead behind the bar, flashing her a grin that had little effect on her. I started to follow, but slowed my steps when I spotted Shayne at the far end of the bar. She sat alone, which seemed unusual. A couple empty glasses littered the bar in front of her. I glanced toward Niall but he was still busy trying to flirt with the bartender.

  “Looks like ya started the party without me.” I said and slid onto the empty barstool beside Shayne. She swung her head around with a scouring look, but it softened into a simple frown when she saw it was me.

  “Oh…yeah it’s been a long day.”

  “Yeah. Liam kicked me out after this morning. Niall was kind enough ta take me in.”

  Shayne’s frown deepened at the mention of Liam and she took a long draw from her drink, successfully draining the glass.

  “I take it things didn’t go so well fer ya either.”

  “Not exactly. No.”

  She waved the bartender over and I glance back toward Niall. A sly grin crossed his lips and he disappeared into the crowd, mos
t likely in search of “models.”

  “Two more of whatever she’s been drinking,” I told the redhead. She pulled two glasses from behind the bar, and with a well-practiced flourish, poured our drinks and slid them over to us. I took a sip to find she’d been drinking whiskey sours. After the bartender disappeared I returned my attention to Shayne.

  “Listen, about this morning—”

  “It’s fine. You don’t need to explain anything. I get it.” She quickly cut me off. I frowned down at my drink.

  “Get what? I just wanted ta tell ya that I like ya too.”

  Her gaze widened, caught in the headlights. “Oh.”

  “I mean. I like…whatever this is with ya. That’s all.” I flashed her a warm smile and the tenseness eased out of her.

  “I just thought…I mean, it doesn’t matter.”

  She smiled, pulling up that wall once more. Had she thought she’d frightened me this morning? Surely admitting ya enjoy someone’s company wasn’t that much of a confession…then again, maybe with her it was.

  Shayne twisted the glass in her hand, frowning down at it. I caught the sadness in her eyes, though I knew she hadn’t meant for me to see it.

  Sidling closer, I put my hand on her back, pulling her attention back to me.

  “Look, we both had a shite day…it’s still early. Why don’t we go out and have some fun? I’ll drive since I doubt ya should be. Just tell me where ya want ta go.”

  Shayne tilted her head, then decisively slid off the barstool and headed for the door. I looked around the room for Niall. He was busy talking to a couple girls over by the pool tables. I gave him a quick nod and followed after Shayne.

  “Where we headed, milady?”

  She snorted, fumbling with her keys and handing them over. “Milady? We’re going to the movies. I’ll tell you how to get there.”

  I climbed into the driver’s side of her Thunderbird, stealing a glance at her pale thighs as she settled herself in the passenger seat. On her left thigh she had a white rabbit tattoo. He was falling, his coat tails flailed out behind him and his pocket watch trailing in the air above him. I’d noticed it before, but hadn’t really thought about what it meant. At first glance, you just think of tattoos as pretty, or cool, or interesting. But just like the marks Shayne had tattooed over on her arms, this one also seemed to hold some meaning. Without thinking, I traced a finger over it. Shayne tugged at her skirt and I pulled my hand away.

  “Sorry.”

  “It’s okay.” Her own fingers were tracing the image, a thoughtful look on her face.

  “Was that…from before?”

  “Yeah, I got him after I was clean. A reminder.”

  “I like it.”

  We drove out of Midtown for twenty minutes, not saying much else until I saw a sign for a drive-in theater.

  “Here?”

  “Yeah. I used to come here a lot when I was younger. One of my favorite places.” A wistful look moved through her eyes as we drove under the lit sign displaying two movie titles.

  I pulled the car up to one of the windows and got us tickets to the more comedic movie. I figured both of us could use a laugh after today. When I parked the car and turned the engine off, she smiled at me, and for the first time since I’d seen her tonight, she looked genuinely happy.

  “So ya used ta come out here, eh?”’

  “I’d sneak out and take the bus out here most weekends. Sometimes during the week too. My mother wasn’t usually home anyway, so it wasn’t hard to do and nobody paid attention to the skinny kid watching from the playground over there. Probably thought I was here with my parents so they never asked me to pay.”

  A pang of sympathy hit me in the gut. After seeing her mother, I could only imagine how coming here and escaping reality for a couple hours at a time could be solace for her.

  “My parents took me a few times. Not to a drive-in though.”

  Shayne looked up at me, pursing her lips. “Liam told me they were killed.”

  “Yeah. I was nine at the time. Niall was seven.”

  Just the mention of my brother brought guilt. He had raised me and Niall after our parents’ murder. He’d given up a lot for us…and here I was with his best friend. Was it wrong of me? It wasn’t like people could help who they were attracted to. Then again if Kendall wanted to, she could use that same excuse for her indiscretions.

  “Sometimes I wonder if it would have been easier if she’d just died.” Shayne glanced at me apologetically. “I mean…given how she is. I can’t imagine what you guys went through.”

  “No, I get it. My parents were great. I miss them every day. But if I’d gone through what you had, I can’t say how I’d feel.”

  My jaw tightened at the thought of my parents, the thoughts of our old home and our old life back in Ireland, but I forced them away. Shayne’s lips thinned into a straight line and she nodded, but I was relieved she didn’t push the subject of my parents any further. No doubt, she already heard the story from Liam at some point. She sighed, tilting her head thoughtfully at the screen. I wondered what she was thinking. Perhaps her life would have been better if her mother had just died, or perhaps not. I found my mind wandering as well, thinking about what my life would have been like if my parents had lived. Would I have come to America eventually? Stayed in Ireland? I might not have met Kendall…then again I might not have met Shayne either.

  “Ya want anything ta drink? Any popcorn?” I asked after several minutes in an attempt to pull both of us from our thoughts.

  Her eyes lit up. “Popcorn would be nice. I usually didn’t have money for it when I came out here.”

  “Comin’ right up.” I winked at her then climbed out of the car and headed for the concession. The previews were just finishing up by the time I made it back to the car and her gaze was on the movie screen. Sitting there unaware of me, she looked blissful, and innocent. I could imagine her as a girl sitting on the nearby playground, engrossed in the latest film. A little sliver of happiness in a life that had been filled with heartache. She noticed me finally and gave me a curious sideways glance.

  “You just going to stand there?”

  I wiped the wistful grin off my lips and got in the car, handing her the popcorn. Shayne tossed a couple pieces into her mouth then held the bag out for me.

  “No, I’m good.”

  She watched me with a discerning look, determining whether or not to accept that as a suitable answer. I grinned at her and her eyebrow ticked up before she popped another kernel into her mouth and licked her lips. No, I don’t want popcorn, I thought, doing my best to refocus my attention from her lips to the movie screen.

  She caught my attempt to subtly re-adjust myself, but kept quiet. A small grin crossed her lips as she popped more popcorn into her mouth.

  “Adam Sandler, eh?” I nodded at the screen. Shayne giggled but returned her attention to the movie and relaxed against her seat, continuing her industrious munching. I watched her from the corner of my eye, her rapt attention on the movie. Not that it was all that good. Still, coming out here had lifted her mood, and for that I was happy. Something stupid happened on screen and she giggled, missing her mouth entirely and dumping a couple pieces down her shirt. She put the bag between her thighs and pulled her shirt forward, peering in for the stowaway kernels.

  “Ya need help over there?”

  “I can get it. Not the first time it’s happened.” She said, sticking her fingers into her cleavage. My lips twitched with mischief and I leaned over.

  “No really, allow me.”

  I grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand away, dipping my tongue between her breasts and coming up with the two pieces on the first try. Even that surprised me. I bit down, chewing them with a loud crunch then grinned at her. Shayne only blinked, equally surprised, before her mouth eased into an amused grin.

  Spurred on by her reaction, I said, “Mmm, this popcorn is pretty good. Maybe I’ll have some after all,” and dipped my head down, fishing out a few m
ore pieces from the bag still between her thighs in a very suggestive manner.

  “Kieran!”

  “Wherth? I warsh jhush gerring merrr popcern!” I tried to say through a mouthful.

  Shayne shook her head at me and ran a finger across my jaw. “And now you’re covered in butter.”

  “Mmm.” I flicked my tongue out and swiped it over her finger. I meant it to be playful, but her eyes widened, and I caught the flicker of her tongue brushing her own lip. She wiped more butter and salt from my chin and I grabbed her wrist, pulling her fingers to my mouth.

  The mood in the car shifted and the air thickened. Neither of us paid any more attention to the movie on the screen. She kept her gaze intent on me and I slid her fingers between my lips, slowly swirling my tongue around them and emitting a throaty groan. A gleam moved through her eyes and she shifted against the seat, squeezing her thighs together, completely forgetting the bag of popcorn—which promptly exploded across the passenger side and the dashboard.

  “Oh shit!”

  “Well I’ve certainly never made a girl do that before.” I sniggered.

  Her cheeks flushed and she reached out to clean up the pieces on the dashboard, but I stopped her.

  “C’mere.” I tugged her arm and pulled her against my chest. Her mouth found mine and I caught her bottom lip, flicking my tongue across it and tasting the leftover saltiness there. Her body relaxed against me, and her lips parted, her tongue searching for mine. Shayne moaned and wisps of arousal ran through me at the sound. Despite the crap with Kendall and Liam, or whether this was right or wrong, I wanted Shayne. Her lips pulled at mine, hungry and wanting and I slid my hand between her thighs.

  “Take off yer knickers.” I whispered, my voice thick and gruff. Shayne nodded, not pulling her lips away from me. She wriggled out of them and tossed them into the backseat. “Now touch herself.” I told her. “Let me watch.”

  I had no idea where the words or where the commanding tone it came out in came from, but Shayne pulled away from me, laid back against her side of the car, and spread her legs. Her fingertips trailed her already moist folds up to their peak and she traced little circles around the swollen pink nub. She mewled softly, moving her hips with her delicate strokes. My breath caught and blood rushed down to my cock at the sight.