Helmut Saves the World

by Matt Sheehan

  “Ramón De Arca. Now that’s a name from the past. He was one of the instructors at the academy when I first joined the service. He taught advanced hand-to-hand combat.”

  Nero added, “He was gone by the time I went through, but we had all heard stories about him from the instructors that had worked with him. I know the boxing coach hated him.”

  Alek laughed but didn’t say anything, so I asked what was so funny.

  Alek filled me in. “They were having an exhibition bout, just working hands with thick gloves. By the fourth round, Jimmy had his timing pretty good and was starting to showboat a little. As you know, Ramón is an eight-weapon fighter and so was at a bit of a disadvantage with this style. So they came out to the middle of the ring to start round five and Ramón kicked him upside his head with a round kick. Knocked him out cold.”

  That gave me a good chuckle. “He always told me, ‘If you can’t win clean, win dirty.’”

  “Did he ever tell you why he left the service?”

  “I never even knew he had been in the military. He didn’t really talk about his past, and I didn’t ask.”

  “The official report was insubordination. The unofficial version was that he threw his commanding officer out a window.” He saw the alarm on my face and continued. “It was a second-story window, so he did survive. The bad news for him was that the window wasn’t open at the time.”

  “He must have had a good reason.” I was trying to give the benefit of the doubt, but knowing Ramón he could have just been having a bad day.

  “The interesting thing is, it had to do with a man he captured during a mission. I wonder if that was the same man he followed through your town. The man had escaped and the officer who had the unfortunate run-in with the window had something to do with it. Captain Bustani I believe. I was never clear on what that part was, and Bustani was transferred after he recovered.”

  “So Ramón was what...court-martialed?”

  “He would have been if anyone could have caught him. Ramón just took to ground and blended in to the scenery. He would have been almost impossible to catch even if the other Special Forces instructors were trying to catch him, but they weren’t really. They just went through the motions. The MPs did their best, but they had no chance. They could have walked right past him in the dark and not even seen him.”

  “That makes me think of you guys just appearing in that alley. I was on the look-out for trouble, and I never saw you.”

  Alek just smiled.

  Nero spoke up. “The fog trick today was cute, but things like that take too much energy. We just pull any bit of shadow or darkness around us and wear it like a cloak. Then we just step out of it when the need arises.”

  We were playing nice, but I had a feeling Nero wouldn’t have minded another shot at the champ. He was drinking a little too much and staring at me a little too often for my taste, and when he called Sha’s weather manipulation “cute” I almost broke my coffee cup over his head. But I decided to be the better man. And earlier I had choked him out in front of his friends, so really I had already proved that I was.

  Alek started in with a story that I’m sure was incredible, but for me time had stopped and nothing else in the world existed—except the girl across the room. Not just any girl. The girl I will marry someday, if I ever decide to take that leap. I have felt lust at first sight many times, but love at first sight? I am very cynical and can’t say that I truly believe in true love, though I’m a sucker for the idea of it, but I definitely felt something more than localized blood flow and cuddle hormones the first time I laid eyes on Katina. For the briefest of seconds I might have glimpsed a future with white picket fences and crumb makers playing in the front yard.

  Her skin was fair with a light dusting of freckles, and her hair was dark and silky and reached to her midback. She was wearing a grey form-fitting sweater dress with black leggings and black boots. Her makeup was light and simply accentuated her natural beauty. As for her measurements? They were ample and proportioned appropriately. She was sitting alone at a pub table with a book in her hand and a glass of red wine beside her. She looked over at me and our eyes met for a moment, then she went back to her book.

  Alek or Nero may have been talking to me. They also may have been talking to each other. Or not talking at all. I really have no idea. In a trance and oblivious to my surroundings I made my way over to her. As I reached the table, she looked up at me with big brown eyes and a bemused smile.

  “I really don’t want company. That’s why I brought the book.”

  “If you didn’t want company, you would be reading that book at home. You’re just looking for the right company.” I gave her my best hundred-watt smile.

  “But you’re here with your friends. I don’t want to take you away from them.”

  “Those bastards aren’t my friends. We were fighting in an alley just a few hours ago. Except the skinny one at the bar drinking out of the pitcher. And he won’t miss me.”

  “Well, then by all means have a seat.” She gestured to the seat opposite hers.

  “Happy to. I’m Helmut, by the way.”

  “Pleased to meet you, Helmut. I’m Katina.”

  “So, what are you reading?”

  “It’s a collection of criminal case law. I was just studying up for a trial. This stuff is really dry, but if I read it in here the steady stream of inebriated men that come and pester me helps keep me awake.”

  “I’m not inebriated.”

  “I noticed that.”

  “And I think you like my pestering.” That got me a smile. “Do you put the bad guys away or set them free?” I held my breath after asking. This one was a deal breaker.

  “Well, I put them away, of course. You seem to have a bias. Are you in law enforcement?”

  “I’m a private investigator, but I do work with the cops quite a bit—usually the guys and gals at the twelfth precinct.”

  “You’re not Helmut Haase are you?”

  “The one and only.”

  “You have quite a reputation over there.” I was worried until she gave me a sly smile. “If you ever get a shot with me, you definitely won’t be the one breaking it off.”

  “If?” I returned the smile.

  “We’ll see. Here’s my number. Call me next week and I will let you buy me dinner.” She looked at me with those big brown eyes as she gave me the napkin with her digits. My knees didn’t buckle only because I was sitting. “Now go away. I need to get back to my reading.”

  She picked up her book and started reading, so I did what I was told. The boys were duly impressed with me getting her number, and as it was approaching closing time, we decided to meet at the office the next afternoon and “chart out our next course of action.” Alek’s words, not mine. As far as I was concerned, we were done; but there was still the matter of our fee, so I agreed we would meet with them.

  I have to admit, I was a little disappointed to be going home alone, but also a little intrigued with the prospect of the chase. Something in the back of my mind was telling me that this girl could really cramp my style, and there’re days I honestly wish I would have listened.

  Chapter Sixteen

  I slept horribly that night, both because I was sore from the fight and because the other half of the bed was empty. I didn’t actually drag myself out of bed ’til 10:00 a.m. What I wanted to do was call Katina as soon as I woke up, but I knew I had to wait a few days. It never pays to appear needy. Instead I showered and dressed and headed over to the office.

  I called ahead to wake Shamus up. He wasn’t happy at first, but I promised free food and lots of it if he got the coffee going. I stopped at Sophia’s Deli and picked up a couple of gyros and a cheese pie for us and a cooked lamb chop for Willie. I was resigned to the fact that neither one of them would appreciate it. I wasn�
��t sure if Alek was actually going to pay us or not, but I kept the receipt for expenses just in case.

  As I pulled up to the office, Willie the Wonder Dog was once again there to greet me. I pulled out his chop and he sat in front of me. When I handed it to him, he licked my hand before taking it, and for that one fleeting moment I thought that perhaps we were finally friends. Then he went and peed on all four of my tires, looking me in the eye before watering each one.

  The only good thing about Willie being outside to greet me was it meant that Shamus was up and about. The smell of strong coffee that hit me as I walked in the door confirmed it. He was sitting at the table with a cup of said coffee, reading the newspaper. He got up when I came in, to relieve me of my burden, and proceeded to cut the pie and divvy up the gyros. Breakfast was mostly silent, Shamus reading the sports page and me the business section.

  We were able to get through breakfast and clear the dishes before our guests arrived. Alek and Nero were dressed in business apparel and carried large duffle bags in each hand. I asked Alek what was in the bags.

  “Combat armor and blades. We brought extras. The boys and I don’t go into battle unprepared.” He shook his head in frustration. “What I wouldn’t give for some firearms. We didn’t have time to get them smuggled in.” He scrunched up his face. “What kind of country doesn’t let its citizens bear arms?”

  “New regime, new rules,” I said, shaking my head. “I didn’t vote for them. It’s almost impossible to get them even on the black market nowadays. If I had a week or two...”

  Shamus cut in. “Wait a minute. Did he say battle? I thought we were going to find out who was pulling your strings.”

  Nero piped up. “No one’s pulling our strings, pal.”

  Alek stepped in front of Nero. “To be fair, we were duped. As to Shamus’s question—yes, we are going to confront the man who fooled us. If he is who I believe he is, it will get ugly and we will need every advantage we can get.”

  “And the extra equipment?”

  “As you can see, Hector isn’t with us. He woke up this morning with a bad case of vertigo, likely from the head butt.” He looked at me, but I felt no shame. “So we are a man down. Helmut, you handle yourself well in a scrap, and I would be honored if you would accompany us. And I am a fair truth-sayer, but nowhere near your class, Shamus. I want to know if the man really is a double agent before I stab him in the heart.”

  The way he buttered us up was masterful. But I wanted to make him work for it a little harder.

  “I don’t know, Alek. This really isn’t our fight. Anyway, we’ve already solved the case for you. All you have to do is bring the perp in.”

  “Well, I brought this in hopes it would persuade you to hear me out.” He pulled from his coat pocket a small pouch and handed it to me. It felt heavy and made a clinking sound. “It’s yours whether you agree to help or not. But there is much more if you do.”

  Inside the pouch were gold coins. I thought about biting one to see if it was genuine, then realized I didn’t know why anyone would bite gold in the first place and simply cinched the bag back up.

  “Well, come on in and have a seat. I for one am excited about the sales pitch.” I led them back to the conference room, and then Shamus and I went to the kitchen to get refreshments. I figured for a bag of gold it was the least I could do. We came back with a pitcher of iced tea, a pot of coffee and a tray of baklava. When everyone had what they wanted, Alek began his spiel.

  “Let me start off by once again apologizing for deceiving you gentlemen in the beginning of this affair. Mr. Singh was just much too important to the balance of power for us to take any chances. You haven’t said—where is he right now?”

  Shamus answered. “With the way Jason drives, they’re probably to the Temple Canyons by now.”

  I added, “He’s on his way back to his research facility. We thought he would be more incognito by land than by air.”

  “It’s for the best. I commend you on your detective skills and your decisiveness under pressure.” I wanted to commend him on his ass-kissing skills, but I refrained. “Without your...help as it was, Johnny would probably be in an unmarked grave, and the Alliance’s nuclear program would have been set back decades.”

  Shamus was smiling. He always likes being praised. He was absolutely right, but I didn’t need to hear Alek tell me what I already knew. He probably saw it in my expression and cut to the chase.

  “On to the business at hand. As you experienced firsthand, we are skilled at the act of camouflage and subterfuge. And as we saw, someone with Shamus’s skills can at least partially see through the veil. Our source’s name is Dante, and he is a deep-cover operative, trusted absolutely by the upper echelon of the Trojan special ops. We’ve since corroborated Mr. Singh’s story, so we know that Dante’s intel was bad. Now we need to know if his sources are suspect, or if Dante is a double agent. That’s where you come in, Shamus.”

  “Wow, no pressure. Just determine if a man lives or dies.”

  “It’s what you were trained for.”

  “You do realize I walked away from that career. Wanna know why? I really don’t want to make life-or-death decisions based on feelings.”

  The possibility of a heavier bag of gold was weighing on my mind, and if I let this go on much longer, that possibility would evaporate. “It’s not like Alek will just kill him on the spot if you say Dante’s lying.”

  “Well, that’s pretty much—”

  I didn’t let Nero finish the sentence. “You can talk with him as long as you need, and if you’re not sure, then he walks.”

  Alek seemed to get the hint and put a hand on Nero’s shoulder to keep him quiet.

  “You know you’ll owe me for this.”

  “Oh, I’m well aware.” I turned to Alek. “Why do Trojan agents have such a good working knowledge about a Hesperan weapons program?”

  He paused for a second, then sighed. “Let me just give you the short answer. You’re being naïve.”

  I waited for more but didn’t get any. “Fine. Why all the tactical gear then? I’m not sure that’s the fashion this season.”

  “Dante is here with his crew. He’s the one who tracked Mr. Singh to your fair city. Unfortunately, or so we thought at the time at least, he was unable to narrow the search. By now they must have heard from one of their sources that the whole operation was botched due to their bad intel, and they likely will be getting out of town soon. I could get close to him without too much of a problem, but not all of us. I would rather handle this quietly, but we may not be able to.”

  “You’re not suggesting we kill our way in, are you? That kind of defeats the purpose of determining innocence or guilt.”

  “No, but we may have to kill our way out. Like I said, we would like to do it quietly. There may be no need for any killing.”

  I certainly didn’t believe that, but I let it go. Shamus, however, had a question for Alek that opened a whole other can of worms.

  “Where did the lighter come from?”

  “Apparently it was Mr. Singh’s. Dante used it to track Johnny here but was unable to pinpoint his exact location. That’s when we came to you.”

  Shamus and I looked at each other, and he blurted out, “He’s the Devil! I knew there was something you were hiding.”

  Alek said, “I certainly hope you don’t mean me.”

  “No, not you. Dante. When Shamus first tried to use the lighter—”

  “I didn’t try to use it, you jerk.”

  “When I helped Shamus use the lighter, he had a vision or something about a guy who had—” I gestured vaguely in the air, “—devil-like qualities.” My attempt to make it sound a little less insane failed.

  “It also left a burn on my arm that will probably leave a scar.”

  Nero quipped, “No worries my
friend, chicks dig scars.”

  Shamus perked up. “See, Helmut? That’s just what I was saying.” I just rolled my eyes.

  Willie must have sensed his presence was required, because he chose that moment to enter the room. He sat protectively in front of Shamus and growled generally at all of us. Nero touched the hilt of his dagger, but Alek ignored him and instead asked Shamus, “You must have taken readings off hundreds of items in the past. Have you ever had an experience like this?”

  “Nope. Usually I see static images. I’ve had vivid visions in the past, but even then it was like watching actors from afar. This guy saw me looking at him and didn’t like it.”

  Alek seemed very concerned. He got up and walked around the table to where Shamus was sitting. “What else can you tell me about the experience?” Willie bristled at the loss of personal space, but Alek just made a sharp sound with his mouth and touched Willie on the neck. Willie immediately rolled over on his back submissively. Alek proceeded to rub his belly as Shamus told him about his initial experience with the lighter.

  “I got a weird vibe from the lighter the second Helmut showed it to me. I didn’t even want to touch it, and when I did it burned me. When Helmut—” he narrowed his eyes and gave me a dirty look before continuing, “—helped me get a reading off the lighter, I saw a large, copper-skinned man with wings. He was wearing a black business suit and sitting at a desk, reading a book. He saw me looking at him, got up and came toward me. It freaked me out and I lost the connection.”

  “Well, Dante is pale and average height and weight.” Alek paused and looked slightly sheepish. “But I guess with those such as us appearance doesn’t mean much. The copper skin and size obviously make one think Cretan, but wings are certainly an unexpected touch.” He got a strange look on his face. “Tell me about the book. Are you sure he was reading it?”