Friend (With Benefits) Zone

by Laura Brown

  “I’m going to the couch.” Otherwise she’d be naked on my bed in five minutes.

  Jas took deep breaths, her body all but shaking. “No.”

  “You do realize my control is ready to snap, right?”

  “Mine too. I want to sleep next to you.”

  I ran my hands through my hair. “I can’t promise I won’t touch you.”

  “I’m not asking you not to touch me.”

  Dammit. I collected her into my arms. Brain powered down, dick now in control. We stumbled through the hall and into my room. Mouths clung together as I backed her up to my bed, then followed her over. She broke the kiss, and I licked my way down to her neck.

  Her body arched underneath me. My fingers gripped her hips, fabric bunching in my hands. She made me crazy. Everything about her fueled me like no one else ever had. I ground into her, unable to help myself. She wrapped one leg around my ass, grinding right back.

  Jesus. She was hot as hell. I wanted to burn with her.

  But her nails dug into my back, and I realized she wasn’t just doing that out of enjoyment. My hand was halfway up her stomach, and even though I wanted it higher, I stopped. When I picked up my head and met her eyes, I knew I’d read her right, even with my eyes closed.

  She shifted until she could sign. “Slow down. We should sleep.”

  I dropped my head, trying to get some blood flow back up. “I told you I couldn’t promise.”

  She wiggled against me, and I had to clamp a hand on her hip before she blew my last thread of control. “I like this. But we should stop. You’re Devon Walker; you won’t be an asshole.”

  I rolled off her and stared at my ceiling. “Maybe I am.”

  She leaned over me. “You’re not.” She scrunched her nose and tilted her head. “Remember, my father was well over six feet. I’m sure his ghost would love to maim you.”

  I laughed and thought of Eddie Helmsman. I could almost picture him watching his daughter leave for a date. He’d stand to his full height, cross his arms, and give the glare, the same glare he gave to unruly customers. Eddie would have scared the crap out of Jas’s dates.

  Maybe not me, since he’d also let me taste test a few beers and help Jas wipe down tables. He’d given me one big secret to life: the most important ingredient was the happiness of the ones we loved.

  He had looked at Jas when he signed that. I always assumed he meant her happiness was important to him. Now I wondered if he’d known, if he’d be happy.

  I hoped so.

  Which meant I had to do him good. And keeping my hands off his daughter was the right way to go.

  I sat up and did my best not to notice how Jas’s nipples pointed against the red fabric. “Sleep. But if you don’t wear pants, I can’t stay here.”

  Jas laughed, gave me a kiss, then collected some clothes and headed to the bathroom.

  I changed into sweatpants and a tee shirt while she was gone, then stared at my wood pointing toward the door. I adjusted myself, but it refused to get the hint. Fuck it, not like Jas hadn’t rubbed herself against me already. My hearing aids remained powered down, so I popped them out and set them to rest. I had a long night ahead of me. At least I’d be able to hold her.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Jasmine

  MOST MORNINGS I woke up alone, even if I fell asleep with Dev. This morning I woke to find Dev sitting on the bed and Blake, dressed for work, standing with a phone to his ear.

  My phone.

  An uneasy feeling churned in my stomach and forced me into instant awake status. I sat up and touched Dev on his tee-shirt-clad shoulder, the same shirt he’d slept in. “Blake heard a phone ringing, turned out it was yours. No clue what’s going on,” he signed.

  Blake noticed I was up and cushioned the phone between his shoulder and ear. “You know a woman named Tanya?”

  I shook my head.

  “She claims she’s your mother’s neighbor.”

  My heart leaped into my throat. “Unit 4B?”

  Blake spoke into the phone, then nodded.

  I scrambled out of bed to a standing position. I couldn’t take the phone from him, but I had to do something. “What happened? What’s wrong?” How did she even know my number?

  Blake held up a hand, listened, then started signing. “An ambulance showed up early this morning. Your mom fell. She’s being taken to the hospital.”

  Given how weak she was, a fall couldn’t have been good. “Which hospital?”

  Blake spoke, then interpreted. “I don’t know. They just took her. She barely had the time to tell me to call Jasmine. I’m so grateful you answered; I had no idea how I was supposed to call a deaf person.”

  Dev squeezed my shoulders, and Blake rolled his eyes. He spoke to Tanya for a few more minutes but wasn’t able to gather any new information. They hung up, and he handed me back my phone.

  I paced, shoved my hands in my hair. I had to find my mother. Why hadn’t whatever hospital she’d gone to called me? “How do I find her?”

  Dev collected me into his arms and held me tight before signing. “We call around and ask for her.” He eyed his brother.

  Blake held up a hand and darted out of the room. He returned with his cell in hand and Bluetooth device in his ear. “Look up numbers. I’m ready.”

  They both turned to me. I wasn’t alone, because I had the Walkers. “Don’t you have to leave for work? And class?”

  “Emergency,” they signed simultaneously.

  Dev sat on his bed, thumbing his phone. “I’ve got the closest hospital to her up. You want to talk, or should I?”

  Blake waved. “They may only talk if Jasmine’s signing.”

  Dev grinned. “They won’t know the difference.”

  Again, both of them waited on me. I looked at Dev. This was what he did. He handled crises, figured out how to solve problems. He knew what to ask for more than I did. I just wanted to find my mother. “Go for it.”

  Dev rubbed his hands together. Blake handed over his phone, and Dev typed in the first number. The brothers worked as a well-oiled machine, neither needing to prep or explain anything to understand one another. Each place they called, Dev asked for Constance Helmsman. Each hospital informed us that no one by that name had been admitted.

  He wanted to keep going after we finished with all the local hospitals. I stopped him. It made no sense that she would be transported that far away from her home or her doctors.

  Blake took off his headset. “The information must be too new.”

  Dev nodded. “We can try again in a half hour. She’s bound to show up somewhere by then.”

  I forced a smile I didn’t feel. “Tonight. We’ll call tonight. You two have to get going.”

  Blake collected his phone from Dev. “If you need me, text me. Tax season or not, I’ll come running to help.”

  I gave him a hug, emotion clogging me. He left, and I knew the real trouble was about to start. “Go to class,” I signed before Dev could.

  He shook his head and pulled me to him. I wanted to push back. Instead I clutched onto him. My mother wasn’t much of a mother, but she was still my family. Now she was MIA.

  “I can stay. We can call again, track her down.”

  “No. We don’t know how long it will take for her to show up in their system. Go.”

  He tangled one hand with mine. “I’m not leaving you.”

  “No. Go. I’ll text you if I need you. Right now, you do me no good if you stay.”

  He wanted to fight me; the set to his jaw made that clear. But he knew I’d fight worse. We’d been at this impasse before. We’d be here again. Only instead of leaving, he moved to me, kissed me long and deep. Then he collected clothes for the day and left.

  I collapsed on his bed, fiddled with my phone in my hands. I didn’t know if Mom had hers or if Tanya had it in her possession. Reason stated if no hospital could claim her, Mom wouldn’t be texting.

  Still, I couldn’t resist.

  Me: Tanya called. Bl
ake answered. Where are you? You OK?

  The message sent, and I watched my words until my screen went black. My mind traveled to the phone call that had changed our lives, the one reporting Dad was in the hospital. The bar was on the same street as our home, yet no one notified us until he was already there.

  By the time we arrived, it was too late.

  I dropped my head into my hands. Would it be too late again? My mother checked out that day, but she was still my mother. If she died, I was truly on my own.

  And since my residency consisted of sharing Dev’s room, I belonged nowhere. A speck of dust floating in the wind—that was me.

  Mom could be dead. If so, I prayed Dad had her smiling again. I had grown tired of trying years ago.

  I wiped my cheeks. My hands came away wet. I hadn’t cried since Dad died.

  The tears spilled, and I had a very bad feeling in my gut. I had to find her. Surely even if she was dead, some hospital would claim her body? Right? I mean, Mom had to do all this shit to identify and take care of Dad.

  All that would fall on me.

  I wasn’t ready to deal with that at twenty-one. Twenty-one, homeless, orphaned. Yeah, that sounded like a real catch.

  I picked up my phone, searched for the hospital I suspected Mom would go to if she had a choice. Only I didn’t want to connect to the interpreter relay service. I wasn’t sure what to say, how to prove who I was.

  I needed Dev.

  My phone told me that somehow two hours had passed since Tanya called. Which meant I’d been sitting here like a lump for two hours.

  Me: What’s your schedule? I want to call around for Mom again but need your help.

  Dev: You really think I left you alone?

  I threw my phone on the bed and headed into the living room. Dev looked up from his spot at the kitchen table, books spread out. “You stayed?” I signed.

  He crossed the room to me. “Of course I stayed. Blake almost did too, but I convinced him you’d kick both our asses.”

  I flung myself at him, burying my head into his chest. He held me tight, the way he always had.

  When I pulled back, he brushed my cheeks. “Ready to call?”

  I nodded.

  “Good. Go get dressed.”

  “What?”

  “Blake insisted he help. Get dressed. We’re going into the office. I’ll let him know we’re on our way.”

  I blinked as the full impact hit me. They treated me like family. Even when I felt alone, they proved I wasn’t. I flung my arms around Dev, kissed his cheek, then hurried off to get dressed.

  Chapter Twenty

  Devon

  BLAKE CLOSED THE door behind us and settled in behind his desk. “How you holding up?” he asked Jas.

  She had her flyaway curls pulled back in a ponytail, no makeup, and bloodshot eyes for the first time in eleven years. Worse, she didn’t even attempt to placate him; instead she raised a noncommittal shoulder. Her spark was gone, and it killed me to see her like this and know there was nothing I could do. Except find her mother. I had to do something beyond that, anything, even make her crack a smile. Wrong time to try, though it didn’t stop ideas from floating around in my head. The devastation on her face stopped me cold each time.

  Blake popped in his Bluetooth and handed me his phone. I scrolled through the hospital listings on mine and began typing in one when Jas stopped me.

  She shook her head and pointed to another on the list. I deleted what I had typed and reentered the number she chose.

  This time, I had Blake start with the emergency department—a suggestion Katherine had sent me after I emailed her for advice. When someone answered, Blake explained we were trying to find out if a Constance Helmsman had been taken there.

  “May I ask who’s calling?”

  I turned to Jas, who straightened in her chair. Without any prompting, she began signing. “Jasmine Helmsman, I’m her daughter.”

  “Yes, Constance arrived a short while ago. I don’t have an update on her condition, but she’s here.”

  Jas reached out and clutched my hand, eyes still on Blake for communication. “Thank you.”

  Blake disconnected, and Jas released her bone-crushing grip.

  “We know where she is. We know she’s alive—” I signed.

  “We don’t have an update.” Jas bit her lip, blinked her watery eyes. “They didn’t have an update when we called with my dad.”

  Shit. I pulled her to me, held her trembling body. Over her head, I caught Blake’s eyes. “Go to the hospital. I can’t leave to interpret, but maybe we can figure out who works with that hospital?”

  I let go of Jas. “No, I’ll write. It’s faster. We’ll be fine.”

  Jas scrunched up her face. “What’s going on?”

  “We’re going to the hospital.”

  Eyes wide, she nodded.

  I heard a bang and turned to Blake. “Dad’s expecting you here today, better update him.”

  I rubbed my neck and contemplated asking Blake to handle my shit, but I knew better. “Give me five minutes.” I left Jas with Blake and prayed five minutes would be accurate.

  I found Dad in his office alone. No client. No interpreter. Small miracle. I toggled the light switch until he looked up. When he pulled off his glasses, I worried my five minutes didn’t have a chance in hell. “You gave your work to Blake yesterday.”

  I all but saw the five minutes go up in smoke. “No, Blake volunteered. I had a date.”

  Dad’s eyebrows raised. “A date is more important than your work?”

  Yes. A date was more important than a job I really didn’t give a damn about. And even if I had cared, Jas needed the date, deserved it, more than work needed me. But that wouldn’t get me anywhere but stuck in his office for another hour. This conversation was going to shit quickly anyways, might as well toss another log on the fire with my real reason for being here. “I’m leaving now and won’t be in later on today.”

  Dad steepled his pointer fingers, tapped them to his mouth, used those fingers to propel his sign. “Really?”

  “Jasmine’s mom is in the hospital. I’m going with her to help.” Like I want to do for a living.

  “Won’t your new girlfriend think that’s funny?”

  I angled my head, trying to figure out what had happened to my father. If I ever dated anyone who put themselves before a hospital visit, that wasn’t going to fly. “Jasmine’s who I’m dating.”

  Dad’s eyes opened wide. Part surprise, part preparation for attack. I intercepted before he had a chance. “We don’t know if Constance is dead or alive. I have to go and help her. We can finish this conversation later.”

  “Yes, we’ll finish this later.”

  I turned to leave, fighting the overwhelming urge to punch a wall or yell. We shouldn’t even be having this conversation, not if Dad respected my actual wants. I faced him again, ready for battle.

  He beat me to it. “You be careful with Jasmine.”

  That knocked me out. Battle won with one punch. “What do you mean?”

  “She’s had a lot of hurt in her short life, possibly more with her mom in the hospital. You’ve been there for her, helped her through those dark days. If dating doesn’t work out, you could hurt her.”

  “I have no plans for dating not working out.”

  Dad cracked a smile, one filled with older wisdom and cynicism. “Dating can be wonderful or make things really sticky. And Blake said Jasmine’s staying with you for the time being. I’m not naïve enough to not know what that means.”

  I rubbed my neck. We hadn’t had sex yet, but I didn’t dare sign that. Dad would focus on the yet.

  “Make sure you always put her needs first. Nothing matters if she’s not happy.”

  “Which means I should get her to the hospital to check on her mom.”

  “You like helping. Help her.”

  I nearly signed I’d help a lot more than her but curbed my hands. We’d have this conversation another day. Today wa
s about Jas.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Jasmine

  I FOLLOWED DEV into the emergency room, past the many full chairs and somber faces, to the desk where two women in scrubs shuffled back and forth. Dev had the forethought to swipe a pad of paper from work. While we stood there, ignored, he bent over and wrote a message—We’re looking for Constance Helmsman—before turning it in their direction.

  It took another two minutes for them to pay attention to us. If it wasn’t for the clock on the wall, I would have easily guessed ten. I focused on the second hand, noting how each shift took an eternity. A minute was always a minute. Sixty seconds. So why did it take so damn long for the black hand to make it all the way back to twelve again? I tried to look down the hall, where the patients would be, but no answers awaited me. The only patients visible were an older dude and a young female—not Mom.

  A woman in light blue scrubs read Dev’s note, then looked up and spoke to us. Dev leaned forward, clearly trying to hear, but he shook his head and pointed to his ear. Then he picked up the pen and paper and handed it to the nurse.

  She gave us a look, like we’d bluff about this for fun, but picked up the pen and wrote. Who are you to Constance?

  Dev gestured for me, and I took the pen. I’m her daughter, Jasmine.

  The nurse nodded and held up a finger. She clicked on her computer before responding. Let me call back, see if she can have visitors.

  Dev grasped my hand as the nurse picked up a phone and spoke to someone. After another really long period that was probably only thirty seconds, she nodded. Dev collected the paper and pen, and we followed the visual directions from the nurse.

  I had to identify myself again at a nursing station before being allowed through an automatic set of double doors. We found Mom two rooms down on the right, blocked off by a flimsy curtain closure.

  Mom lay in a hospital bed, wearing a blue and white hospital gown, a white blanket covering her. An IV had been hooked up. Her distant blue eyes stared at the corner of the room. She was alive. She breathed. I had no clue what was wrong, but she lived.