Vincent and the Grandest Hotel on Earth

by Lisa Nicol

  So one day when he went to deliver a pair of tightrope shoes to a tightrope walker on the ninth floor, he’d almost forgotten the Mirrors of the Future Room even existed.

  ‘Morning, Zelda,’ said Vincent. He pushed the button for the ninth floor and turned – as he always did – to have a chat. But the person sitting at the piano wasn’t Zelda. The person sitting at the piano was wearing a velvet turquoise suit. He was also bald as a light bulb and had on ridiculously big sunglasses. The elevator doors closed and the lift began to climb.

  ‘Oh, sorry! Where’s Zelda?’

  ‘No idea,’ said the piano man. ‘I just got a call a few weeks back booking me to play today.’ And then he let out a familiar raspy cough. HWER HWER!

  And then it struck Vincent.

  It was him! Not the man with the head where birds slept – although it probably was him. This was the man he saw in the mirror!

  Vincent watched the numbers light up as the elevator climbed towards the ninth floor. What’s going on? What does it mean?

  He remembered the other image. The crouching elephant. There were definitely no sleeping birds in the vision, just an elephant with back legs bent as if trying to kneel.

  Ding! The elevator arrived at the ninth floor.

  Ding! Suddenly the images made sense. It was Winnie! The elephant was Winnie! The elephant was crouching because it was giving birth. Today must be the day Winnie is going to have her baby.

  Vincent almost fell out of the elevator. He sprinted down the corridor to the Huggle Room where the tightrope walker was staying, banged on the door, dropped the shoes and sprinted back to the elevator.

  I’ve got to find Dr Maaboottee!

  Vincent pushed the down button like a human jackhammer. His panic level rose as he watched the light flick slowly from one number to the next as the elevator descended. He hammered the down button some more.

  What am I going to say?

  Then the elevator stopped on the tenth floor. What?

  Someone must be getting in or out. Cripes, I can’t just stand here!

  Vincent heaved open the heavy fire door and flew down the stairs. He burst out of the fire escape, into the lobby and raced over to the front desk – nearly falling over a pony – where Florence was busy checking in new arrivals.

  ‘Excuse me, Florence,’ said Vincent, trying to swallow his huffing and puffing and sound casual. ‘Sorry to interrupt, I was just wondering if you knew where I could find Dr Maaboottee?’

  ‘Oh, it’s Dr Maaboottee and Zelda’s fiftieth wedding anniversary today. I insisted they take the day off. We’ve arranged a picnic for them over in the next valley. And a special choir from Dr Maaboottee’s home town to sing for them. He’s going to love it!’ declared Florence, obviously pleased as punch with the special event she’d planned. ‘Didn’t I tell you? We never miss a chance to celebrate at The Grand! They’re leaving on the next hot air balloon. Oh look, here they come now. Shhh! Don’t breathe a word. It’s a surprise.’

  Vincent turned to see Zelda and Dr Maaboottee dressed to the nines, their arms linked as they walked across the lobby.

  Oh no! This is a disaster! What am I going to do? I can’t let Dr Maaboottee leave. Winnie’s going to give birth. But what am I going to say? Winnie’s not due for weeks. How on earth can I explain that I know what’s going to happen without mentioning the Mirrors of the Future Room? And then what? I might lose my job!

  Panic exploded in Vincent’s chest. Adrenaline surged through his body. A weird metallic taste leaked into his mouth.

  Think, Vincent, THINK!

  But Vincent couldn’t think at all!

  Whatever happens, right now I have to stop Dr Maaboottee leaving!

  Vincent hurried over to Zelda and Dr Maaboottee. He had no idea what he was going to say let alone do.

  ‘Zelda, Dr Maaboottee, Florence told me it’s your wedding anniversary today. Happy anniversary!’

  ‘Thank you, Vincent, thank you!’ said Dr Maaboottee. ‘Today I’ve been married to my African Queen for fifty years!’

  ‘Yes, yes. Your African Queen …’ Think, Vincent, think! ‘Arh … um … Florence tells me you’re off to celebrate.’

  ‘That’s right. Florence has organised a special surprise for us,’ said Zelda.

  ‘I’m sure it’s something wonderful. Please, as a present from me, would you let me polish your shoes before you go? It would be my gift to both of you.’

  ‘That’s a lovely offer, Vincent, but I don’t think we’ve got time,’ said Zelda. ‘Florence said our balloon is about to leave. There’s two llamas waiting out the front now.’ The Maaboottees never travelled by jet pack. Anywhere.

  ‘Please,’ pleaded Vincent. ‘It won’t take long. I promise!’

  Zelda and Dr Maaboottee looked at Vincent and then each other. They could see how much it meant to him.

  ‘Well, all right,’ said Dr Maaboottee, ‘but you’ll have to be quick! We don’t want to miss our balloon.’

  ‘Of course not. I’ll be quick.’

  Vincent led Zelda and Dr Maaboottee over to his chair.

  ‘Ladies first,’ said Vincent. Zelda put her blue shoes on the shoe mounts. ‘Ah, that’s powder-blue with a touch of indigo and a bit of lapis lazuli if I’m not mistaken.’

  Vincent began pulling stuff out of his drawers and wildly mixing polishes as if he was an artist or some mad scientist. ‘They’ll need a bit of this, with a touch of that and just a smidge of this … Hmmm, not quite, perhaps if I add a pinhead of black. Oh yes, that’s getting closer.’

  Vincent stretched out the mixing process as long as he could.

  Dr Maaboottee looked at his watch.

  ‘Got it! Perfect!’ Vincent selected a brush and began painstakingly applying the meticulously matched polish to Zelda’s shoes. Then he buffed and polished and buffed and polished till they shined like new.

  ‘There,’ he declared.

  Zelda looked down at her shoes. ‘Well, I never, Vincent. You are extraordinary! My shoes look as good as the first time I put them on in the shop. That’s fifty years ago! Oh thank you, Vincent, they’re my favourite shoes. I wore them at our wedding. Look at my shoes, dear.’

  Dr Maaboottee looked down at his wife’s shoes. ‘Oh my, Vincent, you have done a wonderful job.’

  Both Zelda and Dr Maaboottee looked as if they were about to cry.

  It was Dr Maaboottee’s turn. He got into the chair. Despite being dressed in his best suit, Dr Maaboottee was wearing the same boots he wore every other day. They were good strong, workboots but more than a little scuffed and dusty.

  ‘Oh my, Vincent, lucky you got a hold of us before we left. Look at my boots. They’re a sight.’

  ‘Don’t worry, Dr Maaboottee,’ said Vincent, plucking bits of baobab bark from the doctor’s socks. ‘I know just what these boots need to make them look as good as new.’

  Vincent dived into his shoe-cleaning kit and dug around. He pulled out a tube of this and a pot of that and began making up a mixture. Then he got out a small rag and began rubbing the mixture onto Dr Maaboottee’s boots. And while he did, Vincent began telling the Maaboottees all about his grandfather and the story of his magic shoe-cleaning kit and how it had brought him here to The Grandest Hotel on Earth. Zelda and Dr Maaboottee were captivated. They completely lost track of time. It was only when Vincent – knowing full well it was too late in the morning for any balloon to take off – declared he was done, did they notice the time.

  ‘Oh no,’ gasped Zelda, covering her mouth with her hands, ‘I think we’ve missed our balloon.’

  Dr Maaboottee looked at his watch. It was almost eleven. By now it would be far too windy for any balloon to take off safely. ‘Oh, my dear wife. You’re right!’

  ‘I feel dreadful,’ cried Zelda. ‘Florence will be so disappointed. She’s gone to so much trouble to arrange a special surprise for us. She’s been talking about it for weeks.’

  Vincent put his head down and busied himself with his polish
es, trying not to look at either of them.

  Just as Dr Maaboottee was pulling on his boots, Florence came racing round the corner.

  ‘ZELDA! DR MAABOOTTEE! Thank goodness you’re still here. Winnie’s gone into labour!’

  Dr Maaboottee leapt out of the chair as fast as a man of his age could do such a thing and ran towards the Elephant House. Zelda ran after him.

  ‘Come on,’ cried Florence, tearing off. ‘You don’t want to miss this, Vincent!’

  Vincent flung his ‘Out to lunch’ sign across his chair and took off after them.

  Vincent thought watching an elephant being born was surely one of the grandest things he would ever have the good fortune to witness. Winnie calmly bent her back legs and crouched so her baby didn’t have far to fall as it entered this world in a gush. Then she gently nudged her newborn calf, who in a bag of blood and goo, lay still on the floor.

  ‘He’s not moving,’ cried Florence. ‘Is he all right, Dr Maaboottee?’

  Standing off to the side, Dr Maaboottee looked concerned, but he didn’t move. Instead he just watched. He understood that no one knew better than Winnie what needed to be done.

  Winnie wrapped her trunk around her baby’s trunk and gave it a pull. The calf slid a short distance across the wet floor.

  Vincent and Florence gasped.

  ‘Don’t worry, Winnie knows what she’s doing,’ assured Dr Maaboottee.

  But still the calf didn’t move.

  Winnie softly kicked it with her foot. She tugged it by the trunk again, lifting its head off the floor a little then letting it go.

  Vincent and Florence gasped again as the newborn elephant’s head hit the floor with a squelching thwack.

  And then something happened. The calf lifted its right shoulder.

  ‘He’s moving!’ cried Florence. ‘He’s alive!’

  Winnie unwrapped her calf from the bag of goo. She nudged him up and onto his wobbly little legs.

  But Dr Maaboottee still looked worried. ‘He’s up, Florry. But he’s too small. He’s not going to be able to drink his mother’s milk.’

  Dr Maaboottee was right. The calf had been born too soon. No matter how hard he tried, he wasn’t tall enough to reach his mother’s teat.

  Winnie let out a distressed roar.

  ‘Oh no!’ cried Florence, who had a soft spot for The Grand’s elephants the size of an elephant itself. She clicked the heels of her boots together nervously.

  Vincent reached across and held her hand.

  ‘It’s all right, Winnie, it’s all right,’ reassured Dr Maaboottee, stroking Winnie’s face. ‘I can make up some milk that will be safe for your boy to drink.’

  Winnie let out another distressed roar.

  ‘Oh hurry, Dr Maaboottee, hurry,’ cried Florence.

  ‘I can’t stand seeing Winnie so upset.’

  Dr Maaboottee headed off to make up a bottle of milk. When he returned, Winnie let him approach her calf and before long he was drinking milk from the bottle. Winnie seemed to know instinctively her baby was now out of danger. She flapped her ears and let out a contented trumpet sound. While Dr Maaboottee held the bottle, Winnie kept touching her baby with her trunk and nudging him with her legs.

  ‘She’s letting him know everything’s all right,’ said Zelda. ‘That Dr Maaboottee is a friend.’

  ‘Thank goodness you hadn’t left yet,’ said Florence, taking off her glasses to wipe away a tear. ‘I don’t know what I would have done if she gave birth and you two weren’t here. She wouldn’t have let anyone else near her baby but you, Dr Maaboottee.’

  Dr Maaboottee agreed. ‘Yes, it could have turned out badly, but we had the luck of The Grand on our side today.’

  Zelda laughed. ‘We got so caught up getting our shoes polished and listening to Vincent’s wonderful story about his grandfather we missed our balloon!’

  ‘Looks like I might have to give them another polish,’ said Vincent, looking at Dr Maaboottee’s freshly polished boots, now covered in blood and goo.

  ‘And while you do, perhaps you can come up with a name for him.’ Dr Maaboottee nodded towards the baby elephant. ‘After all if it wasn’t for you, he might not be here.’

  ‘You mean I get to name him?’ said Vincent. His smiling eyes lit up the whole Elephant House.

  ‘Oh, what a good idea!’ said Florence. ‘What are you going to call him?’

  Vincent looked at the tiny baby elephant. ‘What about Tommy? As in Tom Thumb because he’s so small. And it’s my little brother’s name too.’

  ‘Perfect!’ cried Florence.

  ‘Tommy it is then,’ said Dr Maaboottee.

  After the incredible event, Florence arranged for Dr Maaboottee and Zelda’s anniversary picnic and the choir to be flown back from the next valley and brought to the Elephant House. There was no way Dr Maaboottee was going anywhere. Tommy would need almost ten litres of milk a day. Dr Maaboottee would have to feed him around the clock, just like a new mum.

  ‘Here’s to Tommy!’ toasted Florence with a smoking soda. ‘Welcome to The Grand!’

  ‘To Tommy!’ everyone cheered.

  ‘And Vincent!’ cried Florence.

  ‘To Vincent!’

  Vincent could feel himself blush. If only they knew.

  CHAPTER 14

  UNOPENED GIFTS AND THE SHORTEST STAIRCASE IN TOWN

  ‘Elephant,’ said Vincent, pointing at the picture. ‘Today an elephant was born at the hotel and it’s named after you, Thom. An elephant called Tommy. Just like you! What do you think about THAT?’

  Thom took the picture and without looking at it dropped it on the kitchen floor and walked off.

  ‘Not a lot,’ said Rose. ‘You should have named it after me.’ She got up and began dancing the flamenco around the table as if that somehow proved her point.

  Tap. Tap. Tap. STAMP! Tap. Tap. Tap. STAMP! Tap. Tap. Tap. STAMP!

  ‘It was a boy!’ pointed out Vincent.

  Tap. Tap. Tap. STAMP! Tap. Tap. Tap. STAMP!

  ‘What about Rosendo then?’ Tap. Tap. Tap. STAMP! She flicked her cape in front of Vincent’s face.

  ‘Do you have to do that right now? Anyway, I thought you were Marilyn.’

  Tap. Tap. Tap. STAMP! ‘I am.’

  Vincent shook his head and rolled his eyes.

  ‘But when animals or streets are named after me, people can use my stage name or my real name, I don’t mind.’ Tap. Tap. Tap. STAMP! Tap. Tap. Tap. STAMP! Tap. Tap. Tap. STAMP!

  ‘Well, that’s useful to know.’

  ‘Anyway, I don’t think Thom even knows his name is Thom.’

  ‘Of course he does!’ said Vincent, defensively.

  ‘If you say so.’ Rose tapped and stamped off to her bedroom.

  Vincent picked up his picture off the floor. He felt extra annoyed because he thought Rose was probably right. He wasn’t sure Thom did know his own name. He remembered the time his mum had asked him to mind his brother for two minutes so she could dash to the shops and get some eardrops for Rose. She’d barely been gone three seconds before Thom ran out the front gate and down the street. Vincent ran after him yelling, ‘Thom, Thom, come back, Thom!’ And never once did he turn around. As if he couldn’t hear Vincent’s panicked cries. As if it had never crossed his mind that his big brother would be chasing after him, trying to keep him safe. As if he didn’t know his own name.

  Vincent stared at the picture. He wished he could make his brother understand his elephant story more than anything. He so wanted Thom to know he’d saved a baby elephant and named it after him. How many people have an elephant named after them? And it’s not like it’s going to happen again. Vincent felt like he had the most amazing gift for Thom, but he couldn’t give it to him.

  Lying in bed that night, Vincent listened to Thom’s screeching cries being extinguished by the soothing strains of Erik Satie’s Gymnopédie No.1. It was one of Thom’s favourites. Vincent’s too. It was sad and soothing all at the same time. Vincent thought the music
sounded like how his mum and dad must feel. All the gifts they couldn’t give Thom. All the things they couldn’t teach him. All the stories they couldn’t share. All the hopes and dreams they’d had to let go. And the darkness and not knowing that took their place.

  Vincent steered his mind back to the extraordinary events of the day. If he hadn’t looked in the Mirrors of the Future Room, Winnie’s baby might have died. Despite what Zelda said, nothing bad had happened. In fact, quite the opposite. He’d stopped bad things from happening. He’d helped save a baby elephant’s life! THAT was a good thing. In fact THAT was incredible. And for the very first time Vincent felt like a bit of a hero.

  Now all you modern readers have probably guessed that after the baby elephant incident, Vincent would return to the Mirrors of the Future Room.

  And you’d be right.

  However he didn’t return once.

  He returned several times.

  In fact Vincent made a visit to the Mirrors of the Future Room a regular habit. And to make sure Zelda didn’t become suspicious, he started getting out on the fifteenth floor and taking the fire stairs the rest of the way. Although he wasn’t lying to Zelda, he might as well have been. That was the bad thing about not being entirely honest. It usually involved a web of seemingly insignificant untruths and things you just conveniently forget to mention. And Vincent felt bad about that.

  But not bad enough to stop doing it.

  Vincent even began to wonder if he himself was becoming grand, like the Wainwright-Cunninghams. Surely another word for a grand person might be hero? So why would he stop now? Why should he?

  Each time Vincent visited the Mirrors of the Future Room he experienced the same thing. First his brain felt like it was blowing a fuse. Then his scalp and hair tightened and burned as if they were on fire. And then the flash of blue-white lightning followed by a cryptic vision.