Into the Madness

by A. K. Koonce

  What in the twisted fuck is wrong with me? This guy’s screwed up in the head from too many years of isolation, and instead of running from his threats, I’m considering slipping my tongue against his just to taste the nasty words he constantly spews to everyone.

  He pauses for a single moment with a real look of concern flashing in his features. “Don’t believe everything Kais pretends to be either.” He speaks carefully. Not hesitantly but precisely. “He’s not as innocent as his controlled exterior seems. He’s a dangerous man, Alice.”

  After all my threats, I’m not sure what to say to that. I don’t know who to trust and who to believe in this place.

  Maybe I shouldn’t trust any of them.

  Seconds pass during the few moments we test one another with our glaring gazes. His wings ruffle quietly, straightening themselves before pulling in tight against his back. His hand lifts, and he pulls the door open with a quiet screech of the hinges.

  “After you, sweet Alice.” He gestures toward the open door, his chest still pressing to mine, his gaze searching very carefully over my face.

  I side step out of his space, keeping my gaze locked with his until I slowly descend the stone stairs to the prison dungeon. Darkness wraps around me, making my echoed footsteps seem more pronounced the farther and farther I stumble down.

  Fire erupts in blooming brightness on the side of the wall. It flashes so fast it hurts my eyes at first to see it. Torches light of their own accord, one after the other along the wall. The light chases down into the darkness. I turn back to see Alixx pulling his hand away from the first fiery flame. He gives another of his easy manic smiles, pushing his chest against my shoulder as he passes, and leads the way down the long brick staircase. For several minutes, all that can be heard is Alixx’s even steps and the hesitant clicking of my heels following after him.

  It feels odd to be trailing down after a psychopath to the dungeon of doom. My recent decisions in life have become even more questionable at best. I’m so focused on the uneven concrete steps, carefully placing my foot on each jagged brick, that I don’t notice when Alixx turns abruptly, stopping dead in his tracks.

  Worst of all, he notices me not noticing. He’s ready. Literally welcoming me with open arms.

  My face smooshes unattractively into something smooth yet hard. My fingers splay across said hard surface, spreading wide against soft cotton over perfectly chiseled abs just as his big hands slip low on my back, holding me to him in the most ridiculously romantic embrace.

  That raspy breathy tone of his fans across my neck and ear in a way he seems to enjoy doing, sending tingling goosebumps all across my skin. “If you wanted to get me alone, all you had to do was say so, my sweet Alice.”

  I shove off of him hard, making me stumble back until my ass hits the bottom step.

  I suddenly feel very much like Konstance: thrown down on the floor simply because I can’t stand to touch him. Will he ridicule me the way he ridiculed her?

  Tension in my chest presses to get out as I stare up at the careless man to see if I’m another mockery in his life.

  That fucking smile stays pulled across his sneering lips while he looks down on me poised at his feet. Seconds slip by between us, covered in our strangled silence.

  And then he lowers his hand to me. Without a word, he offers me the smallest minuscule of kindness that I didn’t even know he was capable of.

  My fingers slip into his rough palm, the warmth of his touch is firm against my hand as he heaves me up, pulling me right back up to the place I pushed so hard to get away from. He keeps my hand in his while his eyes shine like flames in the firelight.

  “Come along, sweet Alice,” is all he says just before he releases me and leads the way into the large open dungeon.

  Warm golden color blooms out from the center of the room. It flickers and dances with each candle that burns from the shining chandelier above. A small romantic dinner table sits in the center of the room. It’s prepared for two, and each chair is set with a large cup of wafting hot tea. One more lone candle stick is there on the small table, and I have to admit, for a torture dungeon, this place has some serious mood lighting.

  “Hello, Alice.”

  Every muscle in my body tenses from the mysterious voice. My eyes dart around the shadows of the brick room. Not a single person can be seen.

  Alixx pulls out a chair, letting it scrape harshly against the dark brick before he plops down and kicks his feet up hard enough to shake the table and slop the tea over the brim of the cups. His wings spread out wider around the chair in the most casual way. He lounges there with his hands held arrogantly behind his dark hair, getting comfortable like he knows he’ll be here for a while.

  “Over here, girl.”

  My eyes widen when I stare at where the voice is coming from. A solid wooden door, curved at the top with gleaming metallic embellishments is there.

  No one else.

  The silver infinity symbol in the center of the wood narrows, glaring at me, and the wood above the symbol furrows like a low brow. My heart hammers while I stare at it, but I can’t get a word to force up my throat.

  The silver knocker thins together, pursing tightly while that peculiar infinity symbol continues to glare hard at me.

  “Well, I haven’t got all night,” the knocker says, my shoulders stiffening harder with every word the metallic mouth says. “Either drink the tea or don’t, but don’t stand there gawking. It’s rude.”

  “For once, I’m not the rude one.” Alixx looks back at me with his half-smile in place. “Morrison, this is Madison. Madison, may I present, Morrison, the door.”

  The way he says my name pulls at my attention, but the oddness of the situation demands all of my attention. I blink at Morrison. I blink for so long the door sighs at my stupidity.

  “Well?” Morrison the door eyes me, making me shift on my feet from the bizarrely human way his metal symbols moves.

  “You’re a door, and your name’s Morrison?” I arch an eyebrow and wonder if the door himself realizes he’s been named after a rock star.

  “She’s not the brightest I’ve ever met,” Morrison mutters.

  Nope. He doesn’t realize it. Shame.

  I shuffle a little closer, letting my heels click slowly against the brick.

  “Can I get through here?” I point to him, and the door levels me with a bored expression.

  “There’s a toll fee, of course.” Morrison arches that metal brow at me.

  A toll fee. I’m finding there are a lot of toll fees in Wanderlust.

  “Take a seat, drink some tea,” the door says.

  I pull out the chair across from Alixx and lower myself slowly into it. The metal wiring backrest gives me the most proper posture.

  “So I’ll drink the tea, and then I’ll be small enough to crawl through your key hole?” I lift a confused hand at all of this, trying to remember what it was that Alice did to get through the Wonderland door.

  “I beg your pardon?” Morrison gives a disgusted, unhinged look. That’s right, a door is giving an unhinged look. What the fuck is going on with my life? “Who is this girl you brought me, Rotter? Never in all my years has a woman had the nerve to suggest she go mucking around in my hole.”

  “You know, she suggested the same thing to me when we first met. I couldn’t turn her down though,” Alixx whispers to the door, adding a hinting wink in the most obnoxious way.

  Oh my God. He’s the worst. The absolute worst person I could have brought to help me in all of this. I glare across the romantic table at my date, and he has the fucking audacity to smirk at me. Okay, so the sexy, obnoxious smirk was already there; it never really left, but fuck him for turning it my way.

  “That’s not—never mind. What do I do with the tea?”

  Morrison takes a bit longer to finally address me, “Drink the Sinceri Tea, and then we’ll carry on with the next step.”

  “What’s the next step?”

  Alixx’s amusement
slips, growing serious with concern as he listens closely, and the somber look on his face only puts me that much more on edge.

  “We will get to the next step once you complete the first step.” Morrison’s tone never wavers, he doesn’t press, and he and I both know I’m not in the position to fight him.

  My hands clasp over the large white cup. The words Drink Me are scrawled in delicate letters across the front. The warmth of the steam hits my lips just before I press the large mug to my mouth. My eyes lift, meeting Alixx’s stern gaze as the tea meets my tongue. I focus on him as I drink every last drop down. I thought it would comfort me to remind myself that I’m not alone right now, to keep my attention on him instead of the nervousness that’s crawling up my stomach.

  But the uneasy look in his eyes isn’t comforting at all.

  I feel it the moment the Sinceri Tea takes effect. Everything feels slower. The way my eyes blink, the turn of my head, even the breaths I take feel slow and delayed. It’s like I barely even need air to survive right now.

  “Time for step two.” Morrison’s metal mouth curves into the smallest smile. “Sinceri Tea forces honesty. The Wanderlust that I’m crafted from reacts to secrets. I’m a door starved for secrets, Alice. Feed me your truths, and see if they’re enough to gain you entrance to what lies on the other side.”

  Secrets. Shit.

  I stand, my feet moving as if they’re lodged in thick mud. I take the few steps toward Morrison. His door handle shines against the candle light. I don’t want whatever wonders are on the other side. I just need to pull a lever for wanderfuck’s sake.

  My secrets are mine. They’re the things I wanted to keep in my old life. Not the things I wanted to drag with me into my new life.

  I won’t give them up. Especially not in front of someone as malicious as Alixx Stone.

  With as much speed as my sluggish mind can manage, I grip his handle and turn, attempting to force the thing to open.

  A horrified shriek leaves the knocker’s mouth, his knob wiggles under my touch, not turning in the least. There’s a moment of struggle, my hand twisting, his knob jerking. A big hand claps around my hips and pulls me away from the door. I reluctantly release it.

  “How dare you!” Morrison bellows.

  Alixx keeps me in place, holding me back from the anger in Morrison’s silver eyes.

  “You just go around grabbing knobs now, do you?” Morrison shakes his silver door handle as if he’s adjusting himself, and it hits me hard what he associates his knob with. Vomit stings the back of my throat as he continues to shake it once, twice, yep, three times. My lips part, but not one word gurgles from my mortified mouth.

  I swear my right hand has never felt so damn dirty in its entire life.

  “I’m so, so sorry, Morrison. I didn’t realize…” I continue to hold my hands awkwardly up in front of myself so his dick-knob germs don’t touch anything. I can’t think clearly enough to say any more.

  Morrison gives another stiff shake of his handle, his thin lips finally parting to speak to me again.

  “Secrets. Let’s get this unfortunate meeting over with.”

  I nod, and I don’t shove out of Alixx’s hold on me this time. His hands against my hips, his chest pressing to my back feel strong and grounding as my stomach knots nervously around itself. If I don’t look at him, if I don’t meet his watchful eyes, I might be able to say all the things I never wanted anyone else to hear about me.

  It’s a terrible feeling to think about the things you try to hide from everyone. It’s unexplainably worse when you go to confess those things.

  “Just start small,” Alixx whispers against my hair.

  I nod, swallowing down the thick nervousness that’s filling my throat.

  “I’m a virgin.” I lick my lips and see if that little confession unlocks and sends Morrison wide open.

  It. Does. Not.

  “It’s not really a secret if it’s something even The Rotter knows, girl.”

  I can almost feel the smug smile pulling against Alixx’s lips.

  “Right.” I blink a few times, stalling and thinking through the weakest secrets I own. “I-I hated my life before I came here.”

  “Now we’re getting somewhere,” Morrison says in a humming voice.

  It’s weird but, once a few little secrets slip out, the rest start to push and shove to climb up my throat. That’s the tea kicking in, I guess.

  “I missed my mother’s funeral, and I’ll never admit how a part of me was relieved because I didn’t want the image of her in a casket to taint my memories of her just as she was.” I close my eyes and keep them closed, letting a long breath exit my lungs, taking a small amount of building ache with it.

  Alixx pulls me closer to him, holding me harder to his body until the nervousness in me is replaced by the sudden realization that I like the feel of his body against mine.

  More words press painfully against my chest, demanding to come out. I take a smaller intake of air, my hands lowering, shaking slightly before gripping Alixx’s with more force than I realize. His fingers intertwine through mine in the most soothing way.

  And then I say the one thing I never wanted anyone here to know.

  “I was diagnosed with leukemia a month before I came here. A reoccurrence. I was ready to give up. I was miserable. I was tired of being tired.” At the quiet sound of my words, strong arms wrap fully around me, hugging me and holding me and making me believe they’ll never let me go. “Wanderlust cured me. This world gave me a second chance—it gave me a first chance. A first real chance at a real life. At happiness. And I’ll pretend to be whatever they want me to be as long as they let me stay.” My breath catches, shuddering out in the weakest gasp.

  I’m terrified that Alixx will use what I just said against me in some way. But for now, I’ll let myself pretend he’s every bit the friend he appears to be in this moment.

  Hinges crawl on a squeaking sound, drawing that sound out until it echoes around the dimly lit room.

  “You did it,” Alixx whispers.

  My lashes lift to find the big wooden door open. Morrison’s face is to the wall, and he doesn’t say another word while I stare up at what lies beyond.

  A blue and white surface ripples before me. It appears as if a layer of water veils the entryway. It looks like a portal of some kind. Beautiful and mysterious.

  “What’s on the other side?” I can’t steady my voice no matter how hard I try.

  “I have no fucking idea.” The low tone of Alixx’s words is gentle but doesn’t relax me at all. What he says next doesn’t help either. “No one comes down here. The few people who have, never came back.”

  Fear drills into me with the hard pounding of my heart.

  Alixx knows everything about everyone. It’s terrifying to think he doesn’t know what’s beyond this door.

  I blink hard, trying to clear my mind from the Sinceri Tea. This is all such a terrible fucking idea. Why would they drug you and throw you into something that’s clearly dangerous?

  I force an even breath from my lungs, pleading with my own senses to calm and return to a cognitive state as if I can simply demand it.

  I open my eyes as far as they’ll go. Close them. Squint a little. Open them again.

  I’m a stupid drunk. I’m “that girl,” apparently. That one who fakes alertness by simply widening her eyes to a raccoon state.

  Fuck my life right now.

  I take a timid step forward, and the strong arms wrapped around my stomach loosen but don’t fall away.

  He’s still holding me.

  I turn, stumbling just slightly, and he keeps his palms low on my back like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

  I won’t admit how much I like it.

  “This might be goodbye, sweet Alice.” His lips pull up at the corner, but the smile doesn’t feel as easy and genuine as it normally does. It’s tinged with just a bit of sadness that hurts my chest deep at the center.

  In the time
that I’ve been here, I’ve heard a few things about The Rotter. They say he’s deadly. A killer. An assassin.

  I don’t know if I believe that. When I look into the depths of his eyes, I don’t see something evil.

  When he’s not making me crazy, I see something good within all the bad that is Alixx Stone.

  After tonight, he’s only made me believe that even more.

  He’s been so patient during all of this.

  Such an ally. Such a friend.

  “If you want me to take your virtue, now’s the time to ask.” At that, the sneer does curve his lips fully.

  Such an asshole.

  Even when I think that he might not be, he still fucking is.

  I push his arms down, stepping fully out of his disgustingly sweet embrace.

  “I think I’ll pass. No need to be completely disappointed just before I die.”

  His palm presses to his heart like I just fatally wounded him.

  I turn, taking another step closer to that rippling, illuminating veil. Mere inches separate me from whatever is on the other side.

  I could leap. Right now. Throw logic aside and leap into what I have to do.

  A deep breath hits my lungs. My body tenses. I’m ready.

  Right. Now.

  A hand pulls at mine, breaking down every ounce of confidence I’d just built up.

  My teeth clench together, and I meet those deep green eyes. The nasty glint of amusement that always shines in his gaze isn’t there.

  “Why’d you kiss me, Madison?” His big hand lingers in mine. The sincerest look of curiosity is in his striking features.

  And for the second time since I’ve been here, someone’s asking me why I kissed Alixx Stone, The Rotter, Outcast, and Assassin Extraordinaire.

  “I’m about to leap to my death right now, but you’d like me to pause to stroke your ego?” My lip tilts at the corner, and his mouth twitches until he’s biting back a smile as well.

  “I mean, it couldn’t hurt. Spare just a few seconds for my poor lack of confidence, please.” His thumb brushes back and forth against my knuckles, his gaze holding hard on mine. So hard that I think he might kiss me all over again.