Do You Take this Cowboy?

by Vicki Lewis Thompson

  “I still do, but what you want from me... I can’t give you that. There’s nothing wrong with having a plan but you need to find a woman who’s ready for marriage. And kids. I assume you want those, too.”

  “Yes, I’ll admit that I do.”

  “Austin, you’ve fallen for the wrong girl.” Her eyes grew shiny with tears. “And I’m so sorry. I don’t doubt your feelings are sincere. I’m...fond of you, too.”

  “Fond?” His heart cracked right down the middle.

  “More than fond.”

  “Thank God. Drew, we can build on that. I promise not to push you. I’ll—”

  “But see, I already know what you really want. I’ve felt your urgency and even if you could dial it back, I’d wonder if you were mentally tapping your foot. On top of that, waiting around for me keeps you from finding someone ready and willing to fulfill your dreams. That’s not fair to you.”

  “Don’t worry about being fair to me.”

  “Can’t help it.” She smiled and swiped at her damp cheeks. “I really do care about you. I want you to be happy.”

  “Me, too.”

  “Then let me go. I’m not the person you need.”

  “You’re making it sound hopeless.”

  “Because it is. Probably was from the beginning. We want different things.”

  He hit rock bottom. Since he had nothing more to lose, he decided to be blunt. “I still don’t understand. Why are you so against committing to me, or any guy, for that matter?”

  “Because I’d lose myself. It was happening in Billings—constant family obligations were distracting me and taking me away from my work. I felt scattered during a time when I needed to be focused on how to build my business. Moving here was a breath of fresh air, a welcome taste of freedom.”

  “It can still be that!”

  “Not if I keep going out with you. I thought we could just have fun, but I realized fairly soon that you want more, plus you have a huge family, bigger even than mine.” She took a shaky breath.

  “Drew, I promise you they wouldn’t—”

  “If I became seriously involved with you and by association with your family, guaranteed the expectations would start up again.”

  “How can you say that? You’ve known most of them since June. Do they strike you as the kind of people who would do such a thing?” Frustration was a steel band tightening around his chest.

  “I can’t tell because I’m still mostly an outsider. Things change when you become part of the inner circle.”

  “I don’t see it that way.”

  She sighed. “I know you don’t because you love them. I love my family, too, but they’re enough to handle without adding another larger group to the mix.”

  “You’re making some big assumptions about how you’d be treated.”

  “They’re assumptions based on hard-won experience. I’m sorry, Austin. It isn’t going to work.” She choked up on the last part. “I need to get back to filming.” She turned and ran inside.

  Disbelief and shock kept him where he was for several seconds. He hadn’t even managed to open the door for her. All this time he’d thought if he handled things right he’d succeed. But he’d never had a chance.

  When he looked at his family he saw warmth and acceptance, support and love. She saw a situation booby-trapped with obligations. He didn’t have a clue how to fight that perception.

  It seemed that her family had such a dynamic. He couldn’t say because he’d only met Elise. Maybe Drew had felt a duty to bring her down here and cheer her up. But Elise hadn’t pulled Drew away from her work. In fact, she’d rolled up her sleeves and helped.

  Elise might not be typical of the Martinelli clan, though. Again, he couldn’t judge without meeting more of them. But he sure as hell knew that his family didn’t smother anyone with responsibilities that kept them from doing their work. Didn’t matter. He could say that until he was blue in the face and Drew wouldn’t believe him.

  He’d made some mistakes in this deal, but even if he’d slow-played it the way Cade had advised, they would have come to this point eventually. Drew didn’t think the trap would close until she’d officially become family, so she never would have agreed to be his fiancée, let alone his wife.

  He wasn’t good at accepting defeat, but this time he had to. At least there was plenty of beer inside that rec hall. That would be his solution for tonight. Tomorrow he’d work out a solution for getting over Drew. He knew in advance it would be one of the toughest goals he’d ever set for himself. Might even be unattainable, but he wouldn’t know until he tried.

  * * *

  Elise’s crush on Jonah turned out to be more of a blessing than Drew had counted on. Jonah was the big topic of conversation during the drive back to the apartment after the reception and Austin’s name never came up. Jonah had also invited them out to breakfast the next morning but Drew begged off, citing the large amount of editing she had ahead of her.

  She did have a ton of editing and she tackled it the minute Jonah picked up Elise and they took off. Getting through the rehearsal and the prewedding activities wouldn’t be too bad, but she dreaded the footage of the wedding and the reception. Austin would be all through those portions.

  Jonah brought Elise back from breakfast before Drew had made it past the rehearsal dinner, which was fine. No one would expect a finished product right away because there was so much. Monday morning she could work on the painful sections.

  Elise continued to rave about Jonah on the way back to Billings. With her feet propped on the dash, she listed off all his sterling qualities. “I hope you meant what you said about visiting as often as I want because I’d like to take you up on it.”

  “Of course I meant it. You were a huge help this weekend and besides, I love seeing you.”

  “I love seeing you, too. I was sad when you left Billings so this’ll be great.”

  “It will.” So far Elise hadn’t mentioned Austin. Drew wondered if her sister had sensed there was a rift and didn’t want to bring up a touchy subject. That would be a relief.

  “The main thing I like about Jonah is that he has his priorities straight.” She crossed her ankles and wiggled her feet. “Does it distract you when I have my feet up here?”

  “No.” She smiled. “I’m used to it.”

  “Good, because I can relax better this way. Jonah thinks it’s funny I do this.”

  “You put your feet on his dash?”

  “Sure, why not? He says it’s a working truck, anyway. No fancy muscle car or shiny new truck for that cowboy. He’s considering buying a couple of horses, though. Austin asked him if he wanted to be a partner in his trail riding business. Did Austin mention that to you?”

  “No, I didn’t hear about it. Great idea, though.”

  “You should do a promotional video featuring both of those guys. Bet they’d get a lot of business from women if you did.”

  “Possibly, although I’m not sure I’ll have time to make them a video.” She’d forgotten that she’d offered to go on the first trail ride and film that, too. “I might need to recommend someone else.”

  “Why on earth would you do that when you... Uh-oh.” She let her head fall back against the seat. “Wow, I’ve been in my own little world but now that I look back on it, I can see things weren’t right. I thought you were just tired from all that work, but you and Austin had a falling-out, didn’t you?”

  Drew tried to calm her breathing. “Not really. We’ve accepted
that we’re not right for each other but it’s not like we had a fight or anything. It’s just over, which is for the best.” That speech didn’t come out as matter-of-factly as she would have liked.

  “So he’s looking for marriage and kids, after all?”

  “He’s looking for a wife who’ll fit nicely into his big family. That includes having some grandkids for Rosie to spoil and I guarantee there would be a bunch of other expectations I wouldn’t figure out until it was too late.”

  “What kind of expectations?”

  “The same ones we have in our family—last-minute babysitting requests, whipping up an extra dish for the potluck because someone forgot to shop, acting as peacemaker for the family squabbles. You know the drill. I left Billings to get away from all that. Why jump right back into it?”

  “That’s why you left?”

  “Yes.”

  “I thought it was because you got a job at the community college and you’d be closer to the wild horse refuge!”

  “That’s what I told the folks because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings.”

  “Oh, Drew. I hate that you feel you had to leave because the family was stressing you out. I wish you’d told me.”

  “I didn’t know how. You don’t seem to have that problem.”

  “They bug me sometimes, and I’ll probably end up moving somewhere eventually, but not because I have to get away from them.” She fell silent.

  “Look, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention this to Mom and Dad.”

  “I won’t. They’d be crushed.”

  “I know, and I love them both so much. It’s just—I needed some space to figure out who I am and what I want. I don’t know if I would have made that nature video if I hadn’t left, let alone sold it. I really think that’s my future, making more of those.”

  “Could be.”

  “Elise, I’m sorry if I upset you by saying all that. I don’t hate our family or anything.”

  “Of course you don’t. You wouldn’t do all those nice things for them if you hated them. Hey, could we have a little music? I think better with music.”

  “Sure.” Drew switched on the radio and punched the button to bring in a Billings station since they were within range now. She wasn’t clear on what Elise might be thinking about but she’d be quiet and let her do it.

  They were nearly at her parents’ house when Elise spoke again. “Fortunately we’re a couple of hours away from dinner and I have a plan. Dad will be taking his Sunday afternoon snooze and Mom will be catching up on back episodes of that show she likes, the one with zombies.”

  “She likes that?”

  “She started watching it a few months ago and she’s hooked. Go figure. Anyway, let’s tell her we feel like climbing into the tree house to see what shape it’s in.”

  “Why would we do that?”

  “To see if it’s fit for the next generation of kids. She’ll buy it. I want to talk about this some more and that’s the only place we can guarantee she won’t hear us.”

  “I don’t know. If she’s watching zombie shows, anything’s possible. She might decide to join us in the tree house.”

  “She might, but I’m thinking she won’t. She’s never liked heights.”

  Elise was right. Their mother had no interest in climbing up to the tree house and didn’t think it was safe for them, either. But they promised her they’d test each rung of the old rope ladder carefully before going higher.

  Drew insisted on going first. “I’m heavier than you. It’ll be a better test.”

  “Okay, but if there are any cool spiders at the top, don’t you dare kill them.”

  “Wouldn’t dream of it.” They’d both read Charlotte’s Web and had never killed another spider since. Climbing the rope ladder brought back memories of lazy summers when she and Elise would haul a thermos of lemonade and a package of Oreos up here. They’d read sexy books they weren’t supposed to have and talk about the day they’d unlock the mysteries contained in those books.

  At the top of the ladder Drew glanced through the opening to the tree house their dad had built at least twenty years ago. “Lots of leaves and one small spiderweb in the corner,” she called down. “Let me scoop out some leaves before you come up. Stand back.” She climbed in and dumped handfuls of leaves out the door. Finally, she was satisfied. “Come on up.”

  Sitting cross-legged in her usual spot to the right of the opening, she waited for Elise to appear. She must have swung up that rope ladder like a monkey because in no time her head appeared and then she was in, taking her place to the left of the entrance.

  She glanced around. “This is cool. I’m going to come here more often.”

  “We need to watch the time so Mom doesn’t get worried. I forgot my phone.”

  “Then you really must be distracted. I brought mine.” She pulled it out of her pocket and laid it on the dusty floor. “For starters, I want to make sure I understand. You broke it off with Austin because he wants to bring you into the bosom of his family and that freaks you out. Is that the basic idea?”

  “More or less.”

  “What if I were to tell you that you have nothing to fear but fear itself?”

  “I’d say you’re quoting Franklin D. Roosevelt and it doesn’t apply.”

  “Okay, but I need to say something. Don’t get mad at me.”

  Drew laughed. “You always say that before throwing out something that’s going to make me mad.”

  “And it probably will. Here it is. You’re doing this to yourself.”

  “Doing what?”

  “Getting tangled up in our family’s problems, babysitting on short notice, making the extra potluck dish. You don’t have to do any of that unless you truly want to.”

  “What are you talking about? It’s expected!”

  “That’s true in your case because you always say yes. In fact, you usually volunteer. But, sis, you’re allowed to say no. I do that a lot.”

  Drew gazed at her. “And you don’t hear about it?”

  “Sometimes I do. I just smile and say whatever they wanted from me doesn’t fit into my schedule.”

  “I never considered doing that. What a startling concept.”

  “You’re the oldest, so naturally you were conditioned to be the responsible one. I wasn’t. It’s easier for me.”

  “And you didn’t feel you had to run away from home.”

  Elise reached over and wiggled Drew’s foot. “In retrospect, that wasn’t a bad thing. You met Mr. Gorgeous.”

  “You’ve been leading up to him all along, haven’t you?”

  “You know me too well, sis. Look, I was only there for the weekend so I can’t say if his family is as needy or downright manipulative as ours can be. I’m guessing they’re not, but who knows? The point is, you can hang with them and not give up your focus if you remember that you don’t have to do what everyone asks, or suggests, or even intimates that you should.”

  “That would be completely new territory for me.”

  Her sister smiled. “Stick with me, kid. I’ll teach you the ropes.”

  “The more you talk, the more I think my response to Austin was—”

  “Knee-jerk?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Hey, forgive yourself. And by the way, you’re allowed to vote ixnay on the wedding and the babies for now. If he’s not okay with that, then you really don’t belong with him. But unless I missed something, he didn’t give you a ti
metable.”

  She thought back over his little speech after the wedding. “He didn’t, but I have the feeling he might have one. Besides, when I hear someone say I want this, I assume they mean right now.”

  Elise shrugged. “Explore that question with him, but I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I think he’s open to negotiation and you’re in a hell of a spot to strike a bargain that’s good for you.”

  Excitement bubbling inside her, Drew scrambled to her knees. “I have to go back. I have to go back now.”

  “Then do it.”

  “I’ll miss dinner with the folks.” Then she laughed as years of obligation lifted from her shoulders. “But it doesn’t fit into my schedule!”

  “You’re getting the idea, girlfriend!”

  She crawled over to Elise and gave her an awkward hug. “I love you, sis.”

  “I love you, too. Now climb down that ladder. I’ll be right behind you and back you up when you tell Mom you can’t stay for dinner.”

  Drew was on the road to Sheridan in just under ten minutes. After her breakup speech to Austin, she had no idea what he’d be doing tonight. It wasn’t even five o’clock, so maybe he wasn’t drowning in his sorrows yet.

  She tried never to make calls while she was driving, but this was an emergency. She grabbed her phone from the passenger seat and dialed his number.

  He answered on the second ring. “Drew? Are you okay?”

  “I’m very okay. I’m more okay than I’ve been in...forever! Listen, I want to amend some things I said last night. Can we meet?”

  “Just name the time and place.”

  His firm, confident response sent heat spiraling through her. “My apartment.”

  “Give me directions.”

  She rattled them off. “I’ll be there in less than an hour.”

  “See you then.”

  She broke speed limits all the way to Sheridan. She noticed a familiar truck in the parking lot. If she wasn’t mistaken, it was Jonah’s.

  She hurried up the outside stairs and found Austin leaning against the wall next to her doorway. She’d kept her keys out because she didn’t want to have this conversation in public. “I see you haven’t bought a truck.”