The Valkyrie

by Charlotte Vassell

  “Good morning madam, and greetings from Olympus.” Apollo said as he entered Avalon all smiles and cordiality. He made warm eye contact with Britannia as he bowed. He couldn’t steady his nerves enough to look at Glory.

  “Good morrow Apollo. It is a pleasure to see you as ever. What brings you to our humble hall?” Britannia wondered what on earth this errant Olympian could want with them. It wasn’t news as Hermes, the messenger, would have delivered it. It must be something else. Perhaps her chance had come at last to make use of her daughter on Olympus. She could break the betrothal to Thor no problem or even play Asgard off against Olympus for some concessions to her sovereignty. Britannia had had her eye on Gaul for some time.

  “Well I realised that it had been quite some time since we met last and then I realised that I had been remiss in not introducing myself to your daughter.” Apollo finally smiled at Glory. Glory was not particularly responsive. She was of course getting married in a week and was distracted by this thought. He sat next to her on a bench.

  “How very kind of you to call upon us. I’m frightfully sorry though. I’ve got to dash I’ve got a meeting with Odin over these bloody Saxons.” Britannia said. This was the first time an Olympian had acknowledged Glory as one of their own. She wasn’t going to waste the opportunity of leaving the pair alone. “Excuse me. It was a pleasure to see you again.”

  “Have a pleasant journey to Asgard.” Apollo bowed to Britannia as she exited the hall. He then turned and stared at Glory expectantly until the poor girl felt the need to speak and put an end to the awkward silence. She couldn’t fathom why he was in her mother’s hall or why her mother invented a meeting in Asgard before leaving them improperly alone together.

  “Would you like something to drink? We have ale and some mead if you would like either?” Glory was nothing if not polite.

  “Ale would be lovely thank you.” Apollo tried to steady himself and not jump ahead to the sex part as his beloved went in search of refreshment. This was a delicate situation. Glory came back from fetching the ale, their fingers grazed as Glory handed one goblet to him and they both felt the pleasant jolt of physical attraction shoot through their veins.

  “So what keeps you busy?” Apollo wanted to know what she did with her day, what she dreamt about, what small thoughts preoccupied her. He wanted to know everything about her and he wanted to embrace and make them his too.

  “Well mostly I’ve been preparing for the wedding next week.” Glory said as she picked up the sewing that had been absorbing her earlier.

  “Who’s wedding?” His heart was in his mouth. This girl was enchanting. Her words glamoured him and when he looked into her eyes all he could see were starry nights wrapped in her arms.

  “Mine.” Glory still hadn’t fathomed the reason for Apollo’s interest in her. In those days she was charmingly naïve. The dream world that Apollo had concocted for the pair just burnt like a paraffin bitch.

  “Oh, who’s the lucky god?” Apollo was trying to calculate the odds of him challenging them to a fight for Glory and winning.

  “To Thor, Odin’s son,” Glory had noticed that her half-brother had flinched for a nanosecond.

  “He is a nice guy.” Apollo reined in the rage. He didn’t fancy his odds in hand to hand combat with that brute.

  “He is yes.” Glory said. Apollo moved closer to her on the bench.

  “You don’t seem that bothered.” Apollo seized his opening.

  “Well I’ve only met him twice. My mother arranged it so I have no real choice in the matter.” She started to feel a little sleepy and she yawned. “Goodness I am sorry, I don’t know what’s come over me.”

  “No not at all. Do you like music?”

  “Yes, I love music. Excuse me, I think I’m gg…” Glory tailed off as she fell asleep on Apollo’s arm. When in doubt abduct the girl.

  Apollo picked Glory up and carried her in his arms. He always had a little bit of something on him which eases sleep. As he took her to his chariot she snuggled into his shoulder. He could hardly bear it she was that adorable. He drove off with her at speed, setting down in his sanctuary of Delos. No one would dare interrupt them there. There was a great precedent of abducting girls: their uncle Hades had abducted Persephone to be his wife after all. Plus their father had been known to do it for mere one night stands, let alone for the big one. Apollo carried Glory over to the shade of a tree beside the ruins of his temple. He settled down with her and held her for hours, waiting for her to awaken. Her hair smelled of flowers.

  ***

  Glory woke to strange surroundings: unlike home the sun shone and it caressed her cheek. She could smell the sea, not the bitter North Sea or cold Atlantic that she was used to, but the warm Mediterranean. She felt a pair of strong arms around her and her face was pressed into the torso of a god. She breathed in his scent and felt the true jolt of love. Unbeknownst to Glory sly Eros had shot her in the heart.

  “Where am I?” She asked looking up in to those bright blue eyes.

  “Delos.” Apollo leaned in and kissed her neck. She lost it under that tree.

  ***

  Zeus hadn’t seen Apollo for a good five days. This meant one of two things he was shagging someone or he was rebelling. There had been reports coming out of Asgard of some sort of kerfuffle but as of yet nothing had confirmed the nature of the disagreement apart from the involvement of Britannia. Zeus thought little of that scheming sea nymph, every now and then and he thought perhaps he should have taken in the daughter what’s-her-name that they had together but he had concluded that between Britannia and Hera the girl would be more trouble than she was worth. Zeus decided that he had best send Hermes to investigate. Poor Hermes was essentially his dogsbody. Off Hermes flew to return with upsetting intelligence: Asgard was all aflame because Thor’s intended bride, who was none other than Zeus and Britannia’s daughter Glory, had disappeared a week before the wedding and had not been seen since. The most upsetting element was Britannia’s blasé attitude towards her daughter’s disappearance. She clearly knew where she was but Britannia was more than happy to renege on the promise of her daughter’s hand. Zeus had a pretty good idea of where Glory was too.

  “Hermes, where is Apollo?” Zeus asked his son. Hermes had the ability to locate anyone at any time.

  “He’s in Delos.”

  “And Britannia’s daughter, where is she?”

  “Oh, she’s in Delos also. I guess that solves that then.” Hermes smirked. “The old fox.”

  “It does indeed. Hermes, you know nothing of this. Someone, anyone, prepare my chariot.” Zeus dismissed Hermes with a wave of his hand before setting off for Delos.

  ***

  Setting foot on that once floating hunk of rock Zeus scanned the surroundings for his roguish son. It was not long before he found the couple.

  “What do you think you’re playing at?” Zeus asked, interrupting their happiness. He hadn’t planned to lose it but there was something about the two of them as a couple that unnerved him deeply. They just looked too damned good together and he already distrusted Apollo.

  “Ah there you are. I wondered how long it would be before someone rocked up.” Apollo said, the two gods squaring up to each other.

  “If the Asgardians were to know what you had done then you would throw us into the midst of a war that we are woefully unprepared for and enormously unlikely to win, and all because you can’t put your cock away.” Zeus invented a pretty sound explanation for his irrational anger. The skies above the island began to turn. The clouds were tumultuous and the wind howled like a mad wolf.

  “Because you’re the one to talk about being a functional sex addict?” Apollo said.

  “You little shit.” Zeus punched Apollo in the lip, splitting it. Immortal blood dripped down his chin.

  “You” Zeus said pointing at Glory “Get in my fucking chariot now, you’re grounded. This never happened you understand, you have never had a relationship with Apollo. There is no way on this
earth I am going to let my daughter marry into Asgard, no grandson of mine shall call those halls home. You are going to go to Odin to beg forgiveness and tell him that you can’t possibly marry his disgusting son. In all likelihood he’ll demand that you become a handmaiden there or something in penance which you will do and you will never fucking moan about having to do it. If I ever hear anything about the two of you like this again I will slit your little throats, do you understand?” Zeus knew to watch Apollo. Apollo was wilful and strong. Of his children he had thought that Apollo along with Athena and Ares were the ones who were more likely to try and depose him. This daughter of his, on the other hand, he had never considered but something in his gut told him that Apollo and Glory were a bad combination. He couldn’t put his finger on it. He knew now that he needed to watch Glory also.

  ***

  Eros turned up for his clandestine meeting five minutes early. He had to promise Hermes a love arrow of his choosing to get him to swear on Styx that he wouldn’t tell anyone where he was that dusk. Eros was waiting outside the city walls of what used to be Londinium for Glory. He saw her approach from a distance: a tall elegant figure wearing a cloak moving towards him.

  “Thank you for agreeing to meet me.” Glory said. It was obvious to everyone that the girl was broken with heart sickened grief.

  “Not at all. What can I help you with?” Eros asked.

  “Rip out my heart and take my feelings away. Let them blow in the wind like tree blossom in breezy May.”

  “That was very poetic” Eros said “I wonder who you learnt that from. That is not innate to you.”

  “You know full well. Take my feelings.”

  “What’s in it for me?”

  “I won’t fucking kill you.” Glory drew out this metal thing that Eros had never seen before.

  “What is that?”

  “It’s a gun.” Glory said “They have much the same effect as an arrow but they are far more efficient. The mortals won’t widely use them for centuries. So what do you say?”

  “You’re a mad bitch.” Eros was trying to buy himself time.

  “Yes I am.”

  “That’s a pretty hard thing to achieve. You can’t destroy emotions from your being. You can forget events perhaps, but I doubt you want to forget him? You just want to be detached. Aphrodite would notice if I took your memories.”

  Glory cocked the trigger. “That isn’t a good enough answer.”

  “I can put them in a box though.” Eros said, this girl meant it. If she couldn’t stop loving then she’d kill love.

  “Perfect. Now I trust that I need to pay recompense. I owe you one.”

  “I swear that I will keep your feelings for Apollo hidden and out of sight from all. It won’t stop you from loving Apollo or anyone else for that matter but you won’t feel any pain when you reflect back on this period of your life. You will most likely feel like a part of you is missing which might make you drink or something to fill the void. It could cause you emotional problems further down the line. You may even come to despise Apollo. I also swear on Styx that no one but us shall know of this agreement.” Eros said looking Glory squarely in the eyes. Who was this girl really? He had considered her to be meek before, but she had changed into something more, more, more cool. “He’ll always love you, you know. For Apollo you were it.”

  Eros took out a small box with a mother of pearl inlay and in they flew, all of Glory’s feelings for Apollo. The lid snapped shut and Eros gave it to Glory for safe keeping. All the pain that she was feeling fell away and she felt detached from the world. Eros didn’t bother to warn her about the health implications of opening the box all in one go but hey, there was a warning sticker on the bottom.

  PART III: THE RUN UP

  Battle Report: Day One, Valhalla

  Glory had been summoned by Odin to give a quick briefing before the Battle of Seoul got underway. She left Hackney promptly at 4.30am and arrived in Valhalla ten minutes early for the meeting with a lovely little booklet explaining the conflict in such basic language that even Freya would understand what was going on. Glory was dressed in her uniform and she palpably felt her own cold blood as the action began. She waited outside the meeting room that she’d booked; it was down the hallway from her cubicle so if she needed it there was her ‘secret’ stash of coke. She swigged from the bottle of ambrosia she had brought with her and waited patiently for Odin to rock up, he was usually fifteen minutes late. Glory quickly rang Valour again but it went straight to voicemail. She was staring at her boots and trying to figure out whether to ring Valour’s parents if she couldn’t get through to her this afternoon when a voice startled her.

  “I’m sorry but my father is hung over this morning so he asked me to step in. I hope you don’t mind.” Thor said holding open the door to the drab little meeting room.

  “No not at all” Glory picked up her ambrosia bottle and the booklets. The room had a scandi-chic grey table and an ergonomic yet stylish chair either side. Glory took the seat closest to the door in case she needed a quick exit.

  “Right now where do you want to start?” Thor asked.

  “From the beginning is usually best.” Glory said with a smile. “So from the top, our core aim in planning this war was to put an end to the relatively peaceful period following on from World War Two. Now we chose to begin it in Asia Pacific as the region is pretty rich, it’s densely populated and there are a lot of egos thus it has the greatest potential to escalate. Plus I think we’re all a bit bored with the Middle East now. Another war in the Korean peninsula would permit the Buddhist, Dao and Shinto pantheons to flex their muscles which would eventually embroil the Olympians through America and thus my mother’s dominions. Next thing you know we’ve got the world’s largest economies geared towards total war. Do you have any questions?”

  “So far so good.” Thor said.

  “Brilliant, in terms of weaponry we expect it to start off along cyber warfare lines but the situation will intensify quite quickly into standardised warfare. Although, considering the technological developments of the last 60 years it won’t be a slow burn so we expect some interesting atrocities.”

  “What level of casualties are we to expect?”

  “1,983,214, of course not all of them will be eligible for us to reap due to the death agreements that dictate the proportion of the dead that each pantheon receives.”

  “That’s a quite respectable number and Valhalla needs more men.” Thor said flicking through the leaflet.

  “Why?”

  “What?”

  “Why does Valhalla need the numbers?”

  “Well for the Ragnarok of course.” Thor looked at Glory rather confusedly.

  “Right, I see. I’ve always wondered whether you believe all that or whether you put up with because your old man is so fervent about it.”

  “If you think it’s nonsense then how do you do your job so well?”

  “Because I’m hiding from any real responsibility and this job allows me to continue maintaining the delicate balance between existence and my alcohol and drug dependencies mostly in peace; that and the fact that I’m sort of doing penance for blowing you off on our wedding day.” Glory said twiddling her hair.

  “That was candid of you.”

  “As you’re skirting around my line of enquiry, I am inclined to believe you think the Ragnarok is bollocks too.”

  “Well you seem to be all over this Second Korean War, well done. It’s a shame we never got married. My wife bores me.”

  “Am I supposed to say something to that?” Glory asked “You’re looking at me hopefully.”

  Thor breathed in deeply “Why did you do it?”

  “Do what?”

  “Break it off. Why did you break it off?”

  “Because I was in love with someone else.”

  “Who was it?” Thor asked, pausing “Even now it would seem. I regret not abducting you when I had the chance. How different things would have been.”

 
“And then I could have developed Stockholm Syndrome.”

  “I see what you did there.”

  “You don’t understand women at all do you?”

  “No, of course not.” Thor said and with that he got up, shook Glory’s hand and left the room.

  Evangelicals

  Glory, Honour and Bea all traipsed into their house in Hackney at 1am after a long day valkyring. Honour sat on the stairs and took off her boots with a groan – she couldn’t remember the last time she had worked so hard – before going up the stairs and running a long bath. Glory and Bea walked into the kitchen. Glory was going to raid one of the fun draws for a decent narcotic. There they found Liberty sitting at the table surrounded by hundreds of invitations. That Daphne vase from Save The Children was still sitting in the middle of the table creepily.

  “Hello, how did it go? I’ve got to get all these invitations finished tonight.” Liberty said not looking up from the stack of envelopes she was addressing to deities the world over.

  “Not bad.” Glory rifled through a few of the drawers looking for the right combination of pills. She was still all het up from being so close to the conflict. Today she had smelt blood.

  “How did you like your first taste of open warfare Bea?” Liberty asked placing her calligraphy pen down and stretching the cramp out of her hand.

  “It was most enlightening even if it was only a small border skirmish. I’m enjoying all this war planning.” Bea said pulling up a chair.

  “I’m going to go for a run.” Glory said.

  “Are you actually?” Liberty asked.