The Valkyrie

by Charlotte Vassell

  “Are you a student love? You sound like you study an ology or something.” he said, again.

  ***

  Glory returned to the house in Hackney. She opened the front door. The invitation for tea from her mother was sitting on the hallway table as of yet untouched. She rushed up the stairs to Valour’s room. It was an utter shit tip. Her clothes were strewn across the floor, there were empty cans of Strongbow all over the bed and it smelt strongly of weed. She closed the door and went to her room, dumped her bag and lay on the bed staring at the artex swirls on the ceiling. What the Hell was going on? The box, that evil bloody thing, how could she forget about the box? She ran over to her knicker draw and picked up the squashed fragments of her emotional immaturity from its hiding place amongst the lace. Splinters had mingled with softest silk. It had dawned on her in the taxi that she felt normal. Glory never felt normal, but there in her hands was her balanced mental state.

  Glory’s phone rang, it was Liberty. “Hey, I wanted to double check that we had already hit our quota this year and now we’re only scoring extra brownie points right?”

  “Yes, that’s right.” Glory paused and took a breath “Did you all make it out on time?”

  “Yeah we’re all here. Valour’s in a bit of a state mind. She threw up in Honour’s helmet as we were passing over the Bosporus.”

  “That’s pretty grim.”

  “Yeah well, standard Thursday morning. Honour hasn’t spoken to her for an hour. She keeps muttering about people having the common courtesy to throw up in their own uniform. Are we still catching up on the Second Korean War later?”

  “No let’s shelve it for the moment.”

  “Sure no problem. Hope your meeting with Athena goes alright. I can’t imagine why she wants to talk about Kashmiri border skirmishes all of a sudden.”

  “Well if I don’t come back, send out a search party.”

  “Ha, with Athena I doubt the search party would ever find the bits.”

  “On that cheerful note, I’ll see you later.” Glory looked around her room. Could she have dreamt it all? How many pills did she swallow last night? She checked the calendar on her phone and Liberty was right, she was supposed to be meeting Athena at 9am in Olympus. Glory could still smell Loki on her hair. She needed a soak and some war paint if she was going to Olympus.

  ***

  Glory was waiting in Athena’s war room. There was a map on the big table in the middle atop of which sat little ships, airplanes and missiles. These were being shuffled around by a gaggle of khaki clad dryads with those long poles. It looked like a control room from a Nazi movie.

  “So Kashmir?” Glory asked. She needed to say something to smash through the ice with a pick axe. Athena’s demeanour was particularly chilling that morning.

  “Indeed Kashmir. Would you like to come through to my private study to discuss it more freely? I believe there is some tea waiting for us.” Athena directed Glory towards a solid oak door. Athena’s office was surprisingly Spartan. Glory had assumed that there would be jars of pickled creatures and stuffed owls. There was very little in it bar two chairs, a desk and phone. Athena shut the door behind Glory.

  “What the fuck is going on? I’ve jumped backwards by two weeks. Not that I mind because that future was fucking awful.” Glory asked, noting that there was no ambrosian tea present. That was a very cruel thing for Athena to have said. After everything that had happened she could have done with a cuppa. She sat cross legged on one of the chairs.

  “I believe my brother is running scenarios. I remember those weeks too. Although I think we’re the only ones who do by the looks of Olympus this morning. You know, I always thought Apollo was a bit of a bellend but even then I didn’t realise that he was that much of a monster. Do you know how I died?”

  “What’s your brother trying to pull?” Glory leaned across the desk and dropped the splintered remains of the box down.

  “Interesting that he didn’t reverse that. He must be messing with variables.”

  “My life isn’t a variable.”

  “I’m afraid it is.” Nonchalant Gravitas leaned against the door “Very few things are fixed points in time, bar myself of course. That however was the last scenario I needed to run through and all the variables are now optimum. The game is afoot.”

  “What are you playing at?” Glory didn’t know whether to fear Gravitas or embrace him. He was petrifyingly tranquil.

  “Universal domination my girl, universal domination. You should thank me really; I’ve liberated you from the tedium of a broken heart. I’m looking forward to your next move.” He said, and with that he was gone.

  Athena stared out of the window.

  “Did you actually want to talk about Kashmir?” Glory asked her despondent companion. The real question Glory wanted answered was why she could remember what had happened but none of the other Valkyries could. What did Gravitas have in store for her this time? How many times had he done something like this before? Actually, the more immediate question was how she would get off Olympus without being noticed by any of the crazy that lived there.

  Athena opened her desk draw, pulled out a bottle of sloe gin and shook it at Glory.

  “No thanks.” Glory said resolutely “I’ve given it up.”

  Glory left Athena’s quarters abruptly and headed back to her car at a pace. She regretted having put on a pair of suede black court shoes with her dress but she had felt the need to stand taller than usual. She was sauntering towards her car when she noticed a blond and sculpted figure leaning against the driver’s side looking the man James Dean had tried to be. It was Apollo. They made eye contact as she strode forwards. Glory braced herself.

  “Morning Glory.” he said.

  “Good morning, you’re up early.”

  “I rise with the dawn.”

  “I can’t get in my car.”

  “Have you lost your keys?”

  “No you’re standing in the way.”

  “You’re still funny.”

  “Funny haha or funny odd?”

  “We need to talk about us.”

  “There’s no ‘us’ to talk about.”

  “Of course there is, look at us right now. This is definitely an ‘us’ moment.”

  “That ship sailed. No, that ship sailed, crashed into the rocks, captain and crew all perished and the cargo lost. Now the driftwood has rotted and the ship, the ship is remembered merely in the dusty ledgers of obscurity.”

  “That was an agreeable metaphor, although I view us more as a picturesque ruin.”

  “What? A spectacle, an antiquated curiosity, the subject of an iffy watercolour? Do tourists buy postcards of us?”

  “Something to be preserved for posterity and built upon.”

  “This” Glory said gesturing to her torso “is not a UNESCO site and you are insane. Never deign to speak to me again. Go and fuck some other nymph. Heaven knows there are enough us and we all look the same to you lot anyway. Squint and you won’t even know the difference.”

  “I love you.”

  “Fuck off.”

  “I am in love with you still!”

  “And I am definitely a lesbian.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, yes I am a lesbian.”

  “Oh, alright, well, um, I should um yes” Apollo said backing off in confusion. Glory could see him trying to work it out. His head tilted from side to side as he wandered off into the depths of deepest darkest Olympus. Glory got in her car and sped off. How had she never played that card before? She wondered whether he would ever check up on that whole being gay thing but she’d cross that bridge when she came to it. She mentally apologised to all the lesbians in the world for taking their name in vain.

  ***

  The house was calm as Glory finished packing up her things. Surprisingly she had fitted most of it into the back of her car on the first trip. She was packing up the last of her ballistics when she heard the latch go and the sonorous rumble of her three former hou
semates resounded around the house.

  “Glozza, why are there are fuck tonne of bags by the door. Are you binning all of Honour’s crap? She’s a pathological hoarder you know.” Valour said poking her head round the bannister.

  “You’re sounding cheerful Chunderella.” Glory said coming down the stairs following the others into the kitchen. Liberty looked solemn, she knew what was coming. Of course she knew.

  “That’s because it’s all over and up and in my uniform.” Honour said pulling up a chair at the kitchen table.

  “I have some news.” Glory said.

  “You’re a lesbian?” Valour asked.

  “You know what I am. I am a lesbian.” Glory said knowing full well that that would be all around Valhalla by tea time if Valour thought so.

  “That’s not the news.” Liberty said arms crossed.

  “No it’s not, although I would appreciate a minor rumour around my sexual ambiguity or that ilk early next week, if you would be so kind as to oblige me my dear Valour. Make sure Astrid hears about it, she’s a tattle tale.”

  “Sure no problem.” Valour set a reminder in her phone.

  “No, the real news is that I’ve resigned.” Glory said.

  “What?” Honour shot up.

  “Yes, I handed my notice in this morning and as I am no longer a Valkyrie I am obliged to vacate the premises. You’ll all do perfectly fine without me. Liberty’s in charge of the unit now and I have every confidence that she will lead you into an exciting new era.”

  “What are you going to do with yourself?” Honour asked.

  “I don’t know yet, I may take up tennis. I’ve always fancied being the sort who plays tennis.” Glory said pondering where she could get one of those white pleated skirts from. “I’ve got to be out of here by 3pm so I’d appreciate some help moving my armour if you wouldn’t mind Valour and Honour.”

  “Of course I mind.” Honour said schlepping over to a breastplate near the door to the hallway and carrying it out of the front door. Valour picked up a box of gauntlets and threw them down.

  “That’s not funny.” Liberty said as Valour followed Honour out to Glory’s car. “What’s actually going on? I don’t want the press release, I want the truth.”

  “I honestly don’t know.” Glory shuffled about “It just felt like the right thing to do. I won’t be far away. I bought a house in Highgate a century ago. It’s got a nice lawn, we could play croquet in the summer and drink gin.”

  “Croquet?”

  “Yes I know what you mean, it’s just not cricket.”

  “And you’re not compus mentis.”

  “I am the sanest I’ve been for a long time. I feel unburdened, liberated even if you will.”

  “What aren’t you telling me?”

  “Have you ever doubted my judgement?”

  “Constantly, you’re a terrible judge of men for example.”

  “Alright that was fair. I’m done with this Liberty. I’m done with hiding behind a job and a uniform. I’m done with finding joy in mundane routine. I’m done with being hit on by Odin in Valhalla. I’m done with picking up Freya’s slack. I’m done acting like an adolescent.”

  “An adolescent?”

  “I’m not saying that you act like a juvenile, but we kind of do. The drinking, the drugs, the boys all of it feels so puerile. I’m not an anxious teenager overcompensating any more. Don’t be mad with me. I can’t be a Valkyrie, but I can be your friend.”

  “Of course you can be.” Liberty and Glory hugged.

  ***

  Glory shut the door of the Highgate house behind her. She cradled the last of the boxes from the car and took them into the kitchen. This was a kitchen with neither a narcotics nor an opiates draw. It was however a kitchen with Gravitas in. He was leaning against the island with a bottle of champagne in hand, concentrating on removing the fiddly golden foil. Besides him were two champagne coupes.

  “Aha, there you are. My congratulations.” Gravitas popped the cork “What? Oh I see, you feel that I am intruding. I just thought it would be nice to celebrate.”

  “Celebrate what?”

  “Moving on. You finally moved on. I had hoped you’d do it on your own but alas I had to nudge you along. I apologise if you feel that I was heavy handed. We’re going to have so much fun you and I.”

  “Doing what?”

  “Universal domination, my girl. Universal domination.”

  “What’s in it for me?”

  “Well everything. Don’t worry I’m not a raging homicidal psychopath.”

  “That’s reassuring.” Glory said taking the glasses from Gravitas’s hand and sipping the champagne. “This is a nice vintage. How can I trust you?”

  “You can’t, not really, but now you’ve seen Apollo and Ares in action I doubt you would choose any of the alternatives.”

  “Were you really in love with Liberty?”

  “Cheers” Gravitas clinked Glory's glass.

  ###

  Thank you for reading The Valkyrie. I hope you enjoyed it. You made it to the end so you can't have hated it that much. Or maybe you did and you carried on reading out of anger at the cold blooded murder of the English tongue? That way you could be an eye witness of my crime and give a highly reliable statement at the High Court of Literary Nonsense...

  Either way if you want to find out more and for 'bonus content' please visit thevalkyrie.co or follow me on Facebook and Twitter.

  Cheers, Charlotte xoxo