The Hand That Holds Me ((The Forever Mine Series) Book 1)

by H. J. Marshall

  The size of this man and his is scent were enough for me to look at him and I was not prepared for the handsome man in front of me. He had dark brown hair that was long enough to run your fingers through and a beard that made me think dirty thoughts.

  His tight jeans, white Henley t-shirt and leather jacket he just removed showed off his hard body. Dirty thoughts swirl in my head. I tried to be discreet in my observation of his beautiful body but when I turned his way, all I could do was gawk at him.

  Real cool, Maddie.

  “Can I buy you another?” the deepest voice I had ever heard, pouring over me like warm molasses.

  “No thank you. I can buy my own drinks. I appreciate the offer though.” I declared, without relaying my nervousness. Just looking at this man had my walls crumbling and my insides vibrating.

  “It would be my pleasure, Miss…”

  “Maddie Johnson, no Miss, just Maddie. And you are?”

  “Lucas Walters” he rumbled, gently grasping my hand and slowly kissing the back.

  My panties just spontaneously combusted. Lightening ran through my body. I pulled my hand away, cradling it in my lap. One touch from this man had my body lighting up but I needed to get control of myself.

  Get it together Maddie. This guy is looking for a good time, just like the rest. No way do those tingles mean anything more than you need to get laid. Even though I am pretty sure that Mr. Lucas Walters know his way around a bedroom, I’m here for Caroline.

  “I…thank you, Lucas. I would love another glass of wine”

  Damn my southern upbringing. Please. Thank you, Ma’am and Sir. Always show respect and never be rude. Those were my mothers’ rules and I lived by them.

  “What brings such a beautiful lady out alone on a Friday night?” he inquired without it sounding bad. Most guys made it sound like there is something wrong if you were alone on the weekends. Like being alone must mean you are hiding a sixth toe or a third nipple.

  “I’m here with a friend. She had a drink date with a new guy so I’m sitting here to make sure she is okay. When she lets me know all is good, I am headed home to curl up in bed with a good book”

  The groan he released is almost inaudible, but I felt the vibrations deep in my chest. What I wouldn’t give to curl up with him tonight.

  “Giving up your Friday night with your…” His eyes flicked toward my ring finger for the barest second, “…boyfriend, to make sure your friend is safe is a really generous thing to do.”

  “No boyfriend.” I answered, wondering why I felt the need to add that. I could have let him assume there was someone waiting for me and he would leave me alone to find someone else to flirt with.

  The thought of him touching someone else made me momentarily see red. What the hell was that? I never got territorial about a guy, definitely not someone that I just me.

  “Good!” is voice cracked and he cleared his throat and repeated in his deep, molasses voice. “Good.”

  I smiled up at him, knowing that if nothing else, I could get laid tonight. He could scratch that itch and I’d be on my way.

  “So, what brings you to this little corner of Atlanta?” trying to keep the conversation neutral.

  “I had a meeting few blocks from here and I needed a drink after the week I had. I’ve heard good things about his place and decided to stop in. I’m really glad that I did.” He smiled a huge smile down at me.

  I took a good look at him as I sipped my wine. He was truly the most attractive man I have ever seen: dark brown hair cut short on the sides and long enough on the top to run my hands through, green eyes the color of jade, a well-kept beard, strong, sharp features and a perfect smile.

  “Your girlfriend doesn’t mind you having a drink before you come home? I’m sure she misses you,” slyly hinting about his current relationship status.

  A sexy smirk is what I saw when I meet his eyes, trying to gauge his interest in me. He knows the exact reason for my question.

  “No wife and no girlfriend.” He reveals, eyes twinkling at me, somehow knowing their effect on me.

  I felt my phone vibrate in my lap and I glanced down to see a text from Caroline.

  Meet me in the bathroom. ;)

  “Excuse me. I’ll be right back.” I slid off my barstool and headed toward the back hallway.

  I gripped the sink and looked at myself deeply in the mirror, giving myself a pep talk.

  “You can do this. Yes, he looks like a GQ cover model, but you aren’t looking for anything more than tonight. Get it together.” I say to the image in the mirror, not realizing that Caroline had entered the room.

  “One night, huh? That would be a first.” She leaned against the door with a knowing smile on her face.

  “How’s the date going” I asked her, trying to deflect back to her and off the ridiculously sexy man waiting for me at the bar.

  “Oh no! Don’t you dare ask me about my date when I saw the hunk of man-meat you were visiting with at the bar. And stop with this ‘no relationship’ crap, Maddie. You deserve so much love and affection and all you do is keep guys at arms’ length. You date but won’t allow yourself to really be open and vulnerable”

  “Like I am going to find my forever love at a bar. Get real, Caroline. He and I just met and, while there are sparks, I’ll never allow it to get to a flame. Someone like him is only looking for one night and I won’t let feelings get in the way of good sex”

  “There is more to life than good sex. You have never slept with a man you weren’t in some kind of relationship with. Even if it was friends with benefits. What you are missing is love, commitment, marriage, babies. You know, life! You need to get past the crap you have rattling around your head and open yourself up to love, or just the possibility of love. I mean, look at Josh…”

  I held my hand up to stop her before she says any more, “I will not lose Josh as a friend just to see if the chemistry we have in the sheets correlates to the rest of our lives. He means too much as a friend for to me to take that chance. Besides, he knows how much I care for him and hopefully, one day, he will find his one. It is just not me. It was never me”

  “Time for a subject change. Now how is your date going? Is Mr. Harmless being a gentleman?” I giggle to her, knowing his name is Spencer and he is a really nice guy.

  “He is so nice and we have decided to grab dinner. That’s what I was going to tell you when I saw you with Mr. Hottie.” Sticking her tongue out at me like when we were ten.

  “I’m so glad the date is going well. Have fun at dinner. I’ll just head back to the apartment and start that new book I just downloaded.

  “What about your night with Mr. Hottie? You know I’ll be out for a few hours and I don’t plan to invite Spencer back tonight.” She looked at me with sad eyes now.

  I knew she was feeling bad about ditching me, but I wanted her to have fun on her date.

  “Me being here was about you being safe, not about me meeting someone. Besides, Mr. Hottie has probably moved on to another girl at the bar while we’ve been in here. Don’t worry about me. I’ve got a bottle of wine, my Kindle is charged, and I going to reread Falling Down by Anne Mercier. I’ll have my night in bed with Jesse Kingston and I’ll be waiting up to hear all the juicy details of your night when you get home. Now, go! Have fun!” I hugged her as I was opening the door to ger her moving.

  When I got back to the bar to grab my coat, I saw that Lucas was still waiting for me and looked almost relieved when I rejoined him.

  “I took the liberty of having the bartender move your wine behind the counter when you got up so that it was safe to drink when you got back,” motioning to the bartender.

  “I saw you leave and your drink has not been touched at all.” The bartender explained as he sat my drink back down.

  Nice service and safe too. I will definitely be back for a drink.

  “Thanks, but I’m going to head home now. I would like to settle my tab, please” I replied as I set my credit card down. I needed
to leave before Lucas gave my raging libido any more reason to stay.

  “You can’t stay for a little while? I saw that your friend and her date just left and I was hoping you would have time for another drink or maybe dinner,” he asked me casually as I signed the receipt and put on my coat to begin the lonely walk back home.

  “Not tonight, but I really appreciate the offer. Maybe I’ll see you around. Atlanta can’t be that big of a city, right?” I tried to use my most seductive voice but I’m afraid he heard the nervousness in my words.

  I wished I could extend my new care-free feelings to my sex life. It’s not often that a man like this walk into your life and a night with him would definitely be memorable. I’m just not capable of having sex with a stranger. No matter how dirty my thoughts are, the person in them is always someone I know. Someone safe.

  Maybe Caroline’s right. These short intense relationships and friends with benefits situations I had going aren’t getting me anywhere.

  Is it possible I’m ready to give love a chance?

  “Do you believe in fate, Maddie?” Lucas asked when I was starting to walk away.

  “No, Lucas, I don’t believe in fate,” I smiled at him, winking. “I believe that chance favors the prepared mind”

  I looked back one time when I was exiting the bar and he was standing tall, his hands tucked into his pocket, staring at me with a heat in his eyes unlike anything I have ever seen. It was almost like he wanted to eat me alive.

  “I’ll remember that for our next meeting, Sweet Maddie,” he growled, loud enough that a few heads in the bar turned toward him. Somehow, I knew he meant it.

  I hoped I’d be ready if I ever ran into Lucas Walters again. Not likely though, this is a town of six million people.

  What are the odds that I would see Maddie walking into that bar with Caroline, just as I was leaving a meeting with Jason? I’m glad they didn’t run into each other. The paperwork and legal mess trying to fold Maddie into the company like Jason wants is taking longer than expected.

  He wanted to rush the paperwork so when he met her he could give her the world. His lawyer and I explained a few harsh truths to Jason over the last week and, finally, he agreed to slow down and let me take the lead.

  There were some things that I discovered once I made a trip down to her hometown and had a meeting with her aunt and uncle. Lisa and Joe were very protective of Maddie but once I told them who I was and why I was disturbing their peaceful life, they reluctantly agreed to a talk to me.

  During our conversation, Lisa was hesitant to speak with me about Sara and Jason or how she and Joe came to have Maddie. I gave her the version of the story I had heard from Jason and it was only then that Lisa began to talk. Sara was more aware about the threats against her and the baby than Jason or I even could contemplate. Her trip to see Jason when Maddie was an infant completely altered Sara’s path to reconciliation. Jason was flaunting beautiful women around the city, splashing his face across all the newspapers, and throwing extravagant parties, while Sara was struggling to come to terms with being a single mother.

  It was only when Sara was so ill she knew the end was near did she try to reach out to Jason. Her hope was that Jason would be able to protect Maddie, but Jason was still dealing with enemies and threats. His actions that night are what had Maddie so broken and feeling unlovable. After listening to Lisa and Joe, I told them of my intentions with Maddie. Joe seemed to be on my side more than Lisa. It took him reminding her of their own love story for Lisa to agree that sometimes love at first sight exists. They made me promise to never hurt her. There may have been threats of physical violence to my person.

  I had to fix this mess with her and Jason and I needed to make sure that I am the one she runs to when confronted with the truth, that may hurt her beyond reason, and pray that she is still by my side, holding my hand, when it is over.

  I’m not giving up until I give her the family and love she deserves and I refused to live my life without her.

  All I wanted to do when I sat down next to her was draw her into my arms and kiss her until she was breathless. I felt like I have loved this woman for my entire life, only she has no idea who I am. Fate was working on my side.

  Our conversation allowed me to see Maddie deeper than the investigative reports and personal conversations would ever have allow. I was able to smell her perfume, with hints of gardenia and something that was fuzzing my brain with dopamine.

  I could look into her blue eyes all day and get lost in the changing colors. Sometimes the color of the sky and other times, bordering on grey. They actually sparkled when she spoke and I was in awe at her beauty.

  When I found out she was giving up her Friday so Caroline was safe on a date, I knew the truth she was about to face would make her stronger person. She would be able to help more people and lead a life that would have made Sara proud.

  I caught myself starring at the hallway, almost willing her to reappear.

  I wondered if she could feel the energy between us when I kissed her hand. Lightning is the only way to describe it. A sudden and sharp bolt of lightning that went straight to my heart.

  I exhaled the breath I had been holding when I saw her and Caroline come walking down the hallway.

  Coming up to get her coat, I glanced to see Caroline and her date walking out. I guessed they were headed to dinner or a movie. Fantastic! Now I would have some time to get to know Maddie without feeling like she had to be on alert for Caroline.

  Even though Lisa and Joe explained how close those two really are, I was amazed the depth of love they expressed for each other.

  “I took the liberty of having the bartender move your wine behind the counter when you got up so that it was safe to drink when you got back.” I motioned for the bartender to return the drink I’d had him safely tuck behind the bar.

  Even though this is a nicer place, I didn’t want anyone to try and slip anything in her drink. I would do everything in my power to protect her from those who wish to bring harm upon her.

  “I saw you leave and your drink has not been touched at all.” The bartender explains as he sets my drink back down in front of her.

  She looks up at me with a bright smile.

  “Thank you but I’m going to head home now. I’d like to settle my tab, please” she said to the bartender, setting her credit card down.

  She looked flushed and almost nervous.

  “You can’t stay for a little while? I saw that your friend and her date just left and I was hoping you would have time for another drink or maybe dinner.” I asked her, rushing the words out, trying to get her to stay.

  “Not tonight, but I really appreciate the offer.” As she put her coat on and began to walk toward the exit.

  “Do you believe in fate, Maddie?” I asked her retreating back.

  “No, Lucas, I don’t believe in fate.” She said with a twinkle in her eye. “I believe that chance favors the prepared mind”

  I stood shocked for a nanosecond before I responded. “I’ll remember that for our next meeting, Sweet Maddie”

  I sat back down with a renewed purpose. I had to be prepared for Maddie. She has had a life of upheaval and I want to ensure that she doesn’t run from me.

  Maddie doesn’t know it, but this evening just gave me everything I needed to make her mine.

  It’d been two weeks since I ran into Maddie and this morning brought new excitement unlike I have ever had.

  Today I was implementing the plan to make Maddie mine and to bring her back to her father and his business. I know she may fight me, but with her family on my side, I know I won’t fail.

  First thing is to get Maddie out of the bar she is waiting tables at and into a job befitting her status and education.

  Her degree will allow her flexibility to choose a career, but so far, she seems to be happy slinging drinks and just existing.

  From the conversations I’ve had over the last few weeks, I found out that Maddie has always been extremely
smart but has a fear of getting lost in corporate America. Of possibly losing herself in her job. She didn’t care if she struggled for money, as long as she found the job satisfying.

  I’ve grown more and more in love with her and I can’t wait until she is around me, under me and on top of me. I groan out loud at the thought of her perfect skin, flushed with arousal, begging me to take her and give her pleasure. My mouth on her sweet center, feeling her writhe under my touch. I wonder if she likes slow and gentle or hard and rough? Will she beg for me, wanting me like I want her?

  I’ve craved her taste and I haven’t kissed more than the back of her hand.

  That is all about to change. Maddie is mine and I will do whatever I have to do to have her.

  I have job offers that will get her into the company without her knowing she works for Jason. Lisa and Joe said it would be a fight with her, possibly resulting in her shutting everyone out, including them. The last thing I’d want is for Maddie to feel cornered or threatened.

  Maddie had a version of the truth that she adopted when she was a little girl. Never wanting to talk about it, she carried guilt and shame deep in her soul.

  She was unwilling to listen to Lisa and Joe when they tried to steer her closer toward the truth. In her mind, Jason cast her and Sara out when Sara was dying and Maddie cannot get past that.

  I wonder what her recollection of that night is, all these years later. I’ve heard Jason’s side of the story and Lisa told me Sara’s side. Only little Maddie was there and her young mind may have twisted the facts or she may be missing key information to understand what really happened.

  I looked at my watch, grinning to myself. The courier should be delivering the job packets to Maddie right about now.

  I picked up my phone and called Jason “Good morning Jason. I wanted to give you an update on what will be happening today and how I hope to proceed.”

  To say Jason was upset when I had told him my plan, not only to bring Maddie into his life, but to make her mine, would be an understatement. We had met last week and he had taken a swing at me after hearing my declaration for her. Luckily, he taught me to fight, so I saw him telegraphing his punch and was able to deflect.