The Hand That Holds Me ((The Forever Mine Series) Book 1)

by H. J. Marshall

  Lucas walked me to the door, just like he has every afternoon, making sure I got inside safely. He was slowly becoming more affectionate with me each day, but still wouldn’t let things get past making out on the couch.

  “Would you like to stay for a while? Caroline picked up the first call shift tonight so she is at work until eleven. We can order a movie and we can get some take-out delivered? That’s is, if you don’t have any other plans?” I ask, hoping he can stay and cuddle with me on the couch. We may not be ready for sex, but I am ready for some rubbing and grinding.

  He left me sexually frustrated each day and while I know waiting is best, I was horny. I needed something more than my BOB and I hoped he didn’t think I am being too forward.

  “I would love to stay with you. Let me run down to my car and grab my gym clothes so I can get comfortable.” He kissed me and was out the door.

  I made us both a sweet tea and went to change into my nicest shorts and t-shirt and settled into the living room.

  I was on the couch, looking over the movie selections when he walked back. He stopped short and his eyes glazed over as he took me in. His eyes roamed from my face, slowly down my body and back to my face again, pure lust showing through. My nipples became hard and my panties were soaked just from his inviting gaze.

  “Are you okay?” I asked him, trying to gauge his reaction to my appearance. I hoped he wasn’t disappointed with my hair pulled into a messy bun and my t-shirt and shorts but I wanted him to see the real me. Not the professional persona I displayed at work.

  The fancy clothes and make-up were fine for work and special occasions, but I preferred to be comfortable whenever I could.

  “You are so fucking beautiful. I love that you don’t feel the need to stay all primped and pristine around me. You are comfortable enough to be, well, comfortable around me.” He growled as he stalked toward me in his fitted suit pants and dress shirt. His tie and jacket gone and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, displaying his muscled forearms.

  “I want you to see the real me, the imperfect girl who enjoys cop dramas and cooking shows and doesn’t like to be fixed up all the time. This is me, Lucas. Take it or leave it.” I shrugged my shoulders like his decision to accept or reject me didn’t cause my heart to beat like a drum in my chest.

  “I choose take.” He grabbed me and forcefully pulled my body into his.

  His tongue breached my lips, seeking dominance and submission from me. I gladly gave into him, lips smashing and tongues battling, trying to convey my desire for him.

  He pulled away and placed his forehead to mine. I love this connection we have, faces together, breath intermingling, a promise of forever in our eyes.

  Holy shit! I do love him!

  “Let me get changed and we can find a movie.” I showed him my bedroom and went back into the living room, to try and catch my breath. The smile on my face felt amazing. I was in love.

  I was shocked when he came out of my room and I saw tattoos on his perfect skin. I loved ink on a man and from his sleeveless workout shirt, I could tell he had quite a few.

  His right arm from elbow to shoulder and down, disappearing under his shirt, was adorned with stars and symbols. The back of his left bicep had what appeared to be angel feathers.

  My body was drawn to his and I couldn’t stop my fingertips from grazing the ink imbedded into his toned, tanned arms. It was mesmerizing and I asked him if he had any more, absently, as I stroked his arms.

  He reached behind his head and pulled his shirt off, showing off his toned six pack abs and tapered waist. I could see the start of the v that makes women’s knees weak but it was the beautiful skull, interwoven with what looked like wheels or gears that had me leaning forward to kiss the tattoo covering his entire right pec.

  I don’t know what possessed me to kiss his bare chest but from the uptake of his breath, he enjoyed my exploration and worship of his body.

  The word “relentless” was tattooed down his ribs and along his lower abdomen and I found myself tracing the letters with feather light touches. His skin was alive with goose bumps and an involuntary shiver caused me to withdraw my hands from him.

  He grabbed my hand and placed it over his heart, allowing me feel the strong and rapid beat. My touch affected him and I felt powerful in front of him. It scared me, so I withdrew my touch completely, allowing my eyes to stay on his.

  “Let’s pick out a movie and I’ll grab our drinks from the kitchen.” I said as I backed away from him and walked into the kitchen to try and steady myself.

  Lucas Walters kept knocking me off kilter and I was afraid without too much more effort, he would own my heart, irrevocably.

  I hoped a little distance would help my raging libido, but when I walked back into the living room, his shirt was back on and he was stretched out with his arms along the back of the couch, his feet propped on the ottoman. The man was sex personified and by the smirk on his face, he knew how much his presence was affecting me.

  I sat down next to him and tucked myself into his side, feeling the heat coming off his powerful body. I’d had enough partners to know sex with Lucas would ruin me for all other men.

  He picked out some new superhero movie that had recently come to video and we spent the afternoon on the couch, watching movies, wrapped up in each other’s arms. We would occasionally talk or comment on the movie but, for the most part, we laid in silence.

  I had never been so comfortable in the presence of another person and eventually we drifted off to sleep on the couch. I woke up to Lucas behind me on the couch and the TV turned off. I must have drifted off before him and he made sure I was comfortable while I rested. As long as I was in his arms, I was happy.

  He had his hard body pushed up against my back, his arms wrapped around my stomach, and every inch of his cock pushed into my cleft of my ass. It was taking all my strength to not push into him and grind against his hardness. His breathing let me know he was beginning to wake up.

  He must have been feeling the same urge as I was because his thumb began to make small circles on my shirt covered stomach. I took my hand and stroked his arm, encouraging him to go further.

  He gently pushed into me and a gave him a slight push backward, letting him know I was on the same page as he was.

  With a quickness I didn’t expect, he had me under him with his hard body seated firmly in between my legs, his mouth slamming into mine with a demanding kiss.

  My hands reached up into his hair and pulled his body into mine. My body lit up and a fire was burning inside of me for him. He kissed down my neck and slowly kneaded my heavy breasts, making me moan and writhe under him.

  I began to rock my core against his firm cock, which caused him to groan and rock back into me. We were making out on the couch like horny teenagers and while I wanted to have sex with him, I was fine with this next level of intimacy.

  He broke off the kiss and gave a firm shove, causing me to bow backwards, seeking release. His hand came up and caressed my cheek as he looked into my eyes. The desire and lust come off us in waves, threatening to drown us both.

  His forehead rested on mine and our breath mingled as we continued to seek pleasure from each other. We were fully clothed and it was the hottest sexual experience of my life so far. If he kept this up, he was going to make me come. Please make me come!

  My breath began to stutter and he leaned down and whispered into my ear, “Come for me, sweet Maddie. Show me how much you want me and come for me. Now!” as he rocked harder and faster against my aching core.

  My body came alight with fireworks, my core contracting, wishing he was driving into me, filling me up with his thick, hard cock. I screamed out his name as an intense orgasm wracked my trembling body and I unapologetically ground on his hardness, taking my pleasure from him. “Lucas!”

  His groans and abbreviated strokes against me let me know he had come as well. The look of pure bliss on his face made his handsome features appear angelic. He was truly beau
tiful in the throes of passion.

  His head rested on my shoulder and the full weight of his body on top of mine felt right.

  He raised his head and looked me in the eye with a sexy smile on his face. As he leaned down to kiss me, I gently placed my hands on his bearded cheeks and poured every ounce of emotion I could into the embrace.

  As he pulled back to separate our bodies, I immediately felt a chill overtake my body. He sat back against the couch and his head rested on the top, a smile plastered on his face.

  “I didn’t mean for that to happen but I’m damn glad it did. Are you okay?” He looked relaxed and a little worried that he may have pushed me too far.

  “I’m better than okay. I’m great. Are you sure you are fine with what just happen?

  His response was a gentle kiss on my forehead and a chuckle. “I feel like a teenager coming in my pants. I’m going to need to head home, I’m made kind of a mess.” He sheepishly admitted.

  “You’re welcome to use the shower in my room. I have some sweatpants that may be a bit big on you, but they should fit. I could cook us dinner while you clean up.” Hoping he would stay. I wasn’t ready for him to leave yet.

  Even though I have sex inside a “relationship” only, I tend to disconnect after being intimate with someone. With him I felt different. Alive.

  I wanted him to stay with me, laughing and learning about each other, until I knew all there was to know about Lucas Walters. I was falling more and more in love with him every day and trying to adapt to the changes in my heart.

  My ability to trust was still damaged because of Jason but for Lucas, I wanted to try.

  “I don’t want impose or..” his voice trailed off, almost like he was afraid to say what was on his mind.

  “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.” My defenses suddenly were up, thinking he got what he wanted and now he wanted to bail. I would not let him see me get upset, no matter what.

  “I don’t want to wear some ex-boyfriends clothes,” he grumbled.

  I couldn’t help it, I laughed and that seemed to upset him more, causing him to jump off the couch and start heading for the door.

  I reached up and grabbed his hand like he always does mine and brought it to my mouth for a kiss. I looked him in the eyes so he knew I was serious and sorry for laughing. “The pants belong to Uncle Joe. He left some stuff here the last time he visited. He has developed a little bit of a gut but I think they will work for you.”

  “Oh! Now I feel like an ass.” He looked away from me.

  “I shouldn’t have laughed but the thought of Uncle Joe like that was funny. There hasn’t been another man in this apartment like that. Ever. You are the first. We moved in six months ago and, well, its been a little longer than that for me.” I shyly admitted.

  I wanted him to respect me and not think I slept around. I may be a little adventurous and have dated a descent number of guys, but sex did not happen with all of them. Only the safe ones. The ones I can push away when needed. Lucas was everything but safe for my heart and I was terrified he was about to walk out.

  With a quick kiss, he said “I would love to stay for dinner and a shower sounds wonderful. Would you like to join me?” His husky voice was full of lust.

  I saw his erection growing and wanted nothing more than to drop to my knees and worship him with my mouth. I can’t let that happen tonight. He would break down my last wall and I would be powerless to stop him.

  After the hot encounter on the couch, I knew sex with him will be explosive, so I took a step back and shook my head.

  “If I get in that shower with you, we won’t eat dinner tonight and I really want to cook for you.” He wanted honesty and I was going to give it to him.

  “You’re right.” No anger or resentment in his voice. He steps back from me and begins to walk toward my bathroom

  Thank goodness I liked to keep my bathroom tidy and clean, no underwear on the floor or used towels to hide.

  I showed him where the fresh towels were and left him to start dinner. I needed the distance from him to get my heart to slow down. This relationship was moving at what most people my age would consider slow, but I was still afraid we were moving too fast.

  I prayed that he wouldn’t shatter me and the heart I just gave to him.

  We enjoyed the simple dinner I made and talked until we heard the front door open. I looked at the clock and realized we had been talking and laughing for hours, if Caroline was already home.

  She came into the living room with a smile on her face as she saw us on the couch. Being the outgoing person, she is Caroline walked right up to him and leaned down to give him a hug, engulfing him in her love and warmth.

  “It is so nice to finally meet you. I’m Caroline. Maddie has told me so much about you but if you hurt her, I will bury you.” She said with a huge smile and conviction in her voice.

  I believed her too. Uncle Joe taught us to defend ourselves, how to shoot accurately, to fish and hunt, and to be able to work on cars. He never wanted us to be dependent on someone else in an emergency or have someone take advantage of us. He also didn’t believe in “male jobs and female jobs”.

  His thought was that anymore, regardless of gender, everyone should learn different skills to be adaptable and self-sufficient. Men should be able cook and clean and women should be able to work in the yard and repair common items.

  Lucas chuckled and smiled his huge smile back up at her. “It is so good to finally meet you too. You really are a firecracker, aren’t you? Please, let me ease your mind, Caroline. I have deep feelings for this lady right here,” as he pulled me in tight to his side. “I am enthralled by her and I would rather hurt myself than to ever cause her any pain. I’ve fallen for her, pretty hard.” He admitted as he leaned down and kissed me gently on my temple.

  Her mega-watt smile let me know he had passed whatever test she felt he needed to take. I loved her for her fiercely protective nature.

  “Well, on that note, I’m going to take a shower and head to bed. Mom and Dad will be here around ten and I want to have breakfast ready when they arrive.”

  She leaned down and gave us both a quick hug and walked out of the room, leaving a slightly awkward silence in her absence.

  “You’ve fallen for me?” I whispered to him, afraid I had heard him wrong. I wanted reassurance with my trust issues but I didn’t want to sound needy.

  He stood up and pulled my body into his, arms engulfing me in a hug and my face resting in the crook of his neck.

  It felt like home. He felt like home. The smell of his cologne, his breath on my neck, his strong arms wrapped around me, how he made me feel safe. Everything about Lucas was perfect.

  “I have completely and totally fallen for you. You enchant me and I watch the minutes tick away when we are apart, willing time to go faster until I can be near you again. You settle my soul, Maddie. Your beautiful heart, your devotion, and your wit are just a few things that make you perfect for me.” He kissed me with a level of affection we had yet to share.

  We stood there, in the middle of my living room, kissing and holding each other, expressing our feelings without words. Allowing the love to pour from our bodies and channeled into a kiss that took my breath away.

  “I need to get home and you need to get ready for your aunt and uncles visit. Do you think you will have time to call me this weekend?”

  “I can call you when I go to bed tomorrow and we can talk, but when my family comes around like this we tend to get lost in each other and the laughter we share. I hope that’s okay.”

  With a kiss on the lips he said, “It is more than okay. Spend time, talk, laugh, and love each other. I hate that we can’t be together this weekend but I’m glad they are coming to visit. I never want to get in the way of your family.”

  “I would invite you to meet them but…” I wasn’t sure how to finish that without it sounding weird.

  He took control and said the exact right thing to calm me immediately. �
�This weekend isn’t about me meeting them. There is plenty of time to meet each other’s families. We are still getting to know each other, and even though we are sure, let’s take things slowly with the families, for now.”

  “That sounds really good. Good night, Lucas.”

  “Good night, sweet Maddie.”

  I locked the door behind him and went to bed with the biggest smile I had ever had. My dreams were filled with Lucas and two green eyed boys who resembled him. A yard filled with toys and a future filled with laughter and love.

  Home.

  As I drove away from Maddie’s apartment into the traffic of Atlanta on a Friday night, I thought about everything that had happened today. All the affectionate touches and kisses, the laughter and the love that swirled around us in a thick cloud.

  I knew she was scared about opening herself up to me. Her actions spoke much louder than her words. She was afraid to give her heart away and for it to be broken.

  Meeting Caroline was exactly what I expected. The few people that Maddie allowed into her life were fiercely protective of her. I hoped that Maddie would be able to get some of the answers she needs to be able to forgive Jason from her visit with her aunt tomorrow.

  I pressed the call button and had the system dial Jason. I wanted to give him an update on the literacy program we had been working on all week and let him know about Lisa’s visit.

  “Lucas, I trust you have had a good week.” The familiar sound of his voice was coming through the speakers of my car.

  “This week has been productive. We made significant progress on the literacy program and have meetings set up for the week after next to sign contracts and set schedules for the upcoming Summer launch. She decided to start smaller than we originally wanted but after looking over her ideas, I agree. Smaller is better and gives her the chance to look for problem areas before it is expanded and large problems or a PR nightmare happens. It was a smart move.”