The Guardian: A NOVEL

by Pamela Ann

  My complaints, whatever they were, had all but disappeared when I felt his fingers rubbing my clit in a quick circular motion while his tongue glided in between my holes. He did this a few times before his speed picked up, ceasing my brain activity altogether, and all I could feel was the multiple sensations he awarded my body. I was panting his name, begging for release, and in a matter of minutes, I came when his palm struck my pussy hard.

  Even after I came, he carried on granting me one orgasm after the next until I’d fully surrendered to sleep. My body fell onto the mattress after the last wave of orgasm drained me of energy.

  He was an expert; there was no mistaking that. There was a reason women went gaga over him…Beast, they said. I believed I had just found out why.

  15

  Jared

  Bloody. Fucking. Hell. Gisele’s body was probably the finest I’d ever had. She was all natural, unlike the others I’d had before. I had no aversions to women who liked plastic surgery. One got used to it, I supposed. But after exploring Gisele’s body, I doubted I could appreciate the other women like I used to.

  This woman would be the death of me. Not only was I being pulled apart inside, but it seemed my arrogance had proven me wrong. I had believed I had it all under control, but tonight had shown me otherwise. Her sadness was slowly letting her sink into depression, and I couldn’t stand idly by and let her go into oblivion. How could I when I had vowed to take care of her?

  Little did I know that sentiment was going to undermine every single thing I had prided myself to be—my indomitable self-control. Throw me into the gauntlet, bypassing and breaching into foreign countries and institutions without a trace, give me the toughest of projects—not once did I ever fail. They called me Phantom because I couldn’t be traced. I left no trails, no crumbs; one wouldn’t even guess I’d gone through their mainframe. I was that good. Well, up until Gisele came along…then I found myself second-guessing my stance. The absurdity of it all…It was so cliché. Values defeated by a woman…right. I was quite stunned at my actions, so stunned, indeed, that I couldn’t even bring myself to ponder about it due to deep mortification. If people find out the truth, they’d immediately think I was pursuing her because of her wealth and her stake in the company. But it was far from the truth. Any man would fall at her feet. I daresay a blind man wouldn’t be able to resist her bewitching charms, either. Not only could she play like an adorable goof, but she could instantly turn into this stunning bombshell by merely using her eyes. God fucking damn…those eyes. Gray eyes with bright flecks of gold and copper—no mortal man could resist those come-hither eyes, and she used them impressively to bend me to her will.

  And bend me, she did.

  My mouth salivated. My cock twitched. My passions heightened. My senses spellbound.

  Hypnotized, my eyes glowed with rabid hunger at the sight of the gorgeous sated woman sleeping before me. I wanted her so fucking much. I had never felt this much pain consuming my cock. Her beautiful bottom marred pink from my constant spanking. She welcomed it all without complaint. Each smack, her cunt dripped more of her juices.

  Her legs were still splayed apart after she had collapsed face down. Perverted bastard that I was, I couldn’t resist dipping my tongue to her glistening pussy once more. The sweet musk of her sex made me groan in vain. My lips began to trail upwards, worshipping her perfect round bottom, the beautiful arch of her spine and her shoulders. Hovering above her, my body gently half-pressed against hers before my lips found her neck.

  “Gisele?” she was fast asleep, but I was wide-awake and had a throbbing dick to contend with.

  Pulling my strained cock out, I gripped the base before guiding it towards her parted folds. I let out a guttural hiss when my bulbous tip stroked against her heat. My body became enslaved to the marvelous sensation of our sexes rubbing together. My lips sucked on her earlobe while my left hand gripped her left ass cheek to allow me more access to her sex. My body wound tightly as I frantically thrust my dick into her clit. When my orgasm was seconds away, I swiftly jerked my cock and reluctantly spilled my cream in my hand.

  After washing off in the bathroom, I came back to bed. I pulled her body against me. My lips rested against her neck. Her sweet ass rested against my hip, and my raging hardness sat against her pussy. My release didn’t do much, it seemed. I wanted more, but I knew it’d be unwise. After tonight, I knew my need for Gisele would only worsen. How would I cope then?

  I wouldn’t. Therefore, I had to take all the measures needed to make sure I didn’t stray far.

  When I woke up at dawn with her pliant body still stuck to mine, I knew then I was walking a very delicate line, and if I ever dared cross it, there’d be no turning back.

  Was I ready for the consequences those actions entailed?

  No, I surely wasn’t. But I couldn’t stand seeing her stare into space, either. So, why deny us when I craved to have my tongue dipping into her wet heat? The blinding smile she granted me after I gave her release made me feel quite…gratified.

  As a result, I gave myself five days, arguing that once she started school, she’d be too distracted to spare me any time. So, in those five nights, I indulged her in every way I could. The only penetration she had was from my tongue, because had I used my fingers, it would be too difficult to resist not going all the way. Each night, I ached, drowning in my own misery, but I steeled my resolve when my eyes would draw to her cunt each time she passed out. I would reason that there was no harm in gliding it over her warmth, but I knew, even then, my tethered hunger wouldn’t be able to fully stop from sliding it into her entrance.

  My control was undoubtedly slipping. Every night, I suffered in bed. The ache, beyond unbearable.

  Gisele Weber was a siren threatening to unravel the very fabric of my existence. More importantly, my cock had indubitably fallen under her spell. It was enamored, and it sought more of her company. However, due to mounting reservations, I had never chanced getting her hand anywhere near it. The word temptation was conceived purposely for Gisele. She was the epitome of the word. It was rather endearing that I doubted the woman realized the magnitude of her power. Give her a few more years; she’d use it to her advantage. May God help the rest of the male species. They’d fall at her feet and worship her without question.

  Although I preferred Gisele single, I couldn’t deny her right to date men around her age. She ought to live her life, flourish and blossom through life’s experiences and tribulations. I wasn’t going to be the barrier that would hinder her from becoming the woman she was destined to be, and she’d be an extraordinary one. The man she’d someday love would be one lucky bastard.

  Stoically, I would be the man watching from the sidelines. Her steadfast guard. Her constant rock. The man to assist in honing her skills so she could someday run the company alongside me. I’d be her mentor like her father was to me, forever her loyal champion in the background.

  This was the final goal, and I wouldn’t waver from my vows and promises. Therefore, before our bridges were burned, it was wise to end any physical intimacy with her. Besides, she had men fawning all over her already. She didn’t need me, not in that sense. Furthermore, it was rather unflattering competing alongside men who were a few years younger than I was. Gisele would have her admirers, and I’d carry on with Rose until our arrangement had run its course.

  Rose…I definitely had to see her, or I wouldn’t be able to function at work. Although I knew it wouldn’t ebb the hunger I felt for Gisele, at least it’d take the edge off. She had recently moved into the newly purchased home in Palo Alto. She had been beyond ecstatic when I had presented her with the lavish house. But it had been six days since I’d seen her, partly due to Gisele. No other woman plagued my thoughts but the blonde bombshell, secretly known as my wife. I craved her like no other, but it was high time I placed a halt to this madness. She was far too young for me.

  After deciding it was imperative I head to Seattle for a day to configure a top-secret ga
dget set to be unveiled in a year, I set my plans into motion. As they say, it was now or never. The company jet was set to leave in an hour and a half’s time. So time was of the essence.

  I was about to enter my bedroom situated across Gisele’s when I heard someone coming from the opposite hall.

  “Jared?”

  Bloody hell. Shouldn’t she be in school? Why was she home at this time of day? My jaw locked before I turned to acknowledge her. Dressed in her favored house garb of silk robes, she had chosen a peach floral one. It made her look like a delectable dessert to be savored.

  Her stunning face lit up at the very sight of me. Rushing towards me, she immediately wrapped her arms around my neck with wild abandon upon reaching where I rigidly stood. As she crushed her luscious breasts against my chest, I could feel her pebbled rosebuds through two layers of clothing. Soft lips kissed my cheek. The tip of her nose pressed against my skin. It lingered, gliding it around my jaw.

  “You’re home early,” she faintly purred while I stiffened under her embrace, her warm form enticing my deprived body.

  Hell, she was breathtakingly exquisite. My eyes couldn’t get enough of her, and my body responded with alarming depravity. I had viciously lashed out when she had flagrantly displayed her body as she dressed for her date with Wyatt Rinaldi. I could only imagine what that man felt as he gazed at her from across the table. Gisele had the body and the face to provoke any man. She was the perfect package. Add the trappings of wealth, and all sorts of men would come out of the woodwork. She reeked of sex. It was ingrained in her. It was in the way she strut, especially in heels, the way she coquettishly curled her hair behind her ear, gray eyes commanding a raging wood to any men in her line of sight, her toned luscious body and the irresistible coy smile that elicited all brain function to head south. Yes, the beguiling woman was a walking, talking, breathing siren. A full-blown, purring sex kitten, and my senses couldn’t drown her out any longer…not when I was beginning to acknowledge her as mine, my wife.

  A man could only endure so much before reaching his breaking point, and I was there, teetering on its threshold. I badly fought the impulse to simply haul her pliant frame against the door and taste the exquisiteness in between her thighs. She’d welcome it, too. Her blatant advances had placed me in this present conundrum. If I were less of a man, I’d have had her writhing under me with the full length of my cock sheathed in her honeyed slickness on our wedding night.

  But I didn’t have the wherewithal to breach lunacy yet. However, I’d been hovering about it, tempting fate, provoking the idea of “what ifs.” Still, I knew, no matter how I rationalized it, I couldn’t go on knowing she’d eventually fall for me. And she would fall. Hard. She was the kind who loved with her all, and with the way she had been longingly gazing at me with bright stars in her eyes, how could I fathom telling her that I had no love left to give her?

  I left women for this very reason. The moment they got attached, I knew I had to set them free. Every man had a sneaking suspicion when a woman was on the verge of falling in love. One could instantly see the change. The light in their eyes shifted each time they looked at you. They donned the look of amazement, as if you were the only thing they saw, the sole reason for their existence.

  And if it were up to me, I’d prefer one partner for a lifetime. But such notions couldn’t be granted. Not when women were highly emotional beings and most especially when my heart wasn’t available for any woman, for that matter. So how could a man keep a sexual partner, knowing the other tortured herself with secret hankerings of love? Therefore, I let them go. Saving them from the eviscerating privation that a shattered heart entailed. If I couldn’t reciprocate such love and devotion, what right did I have to keep it? A cock-thinking bastard wouldn’t think twice, though. If sex was so damn incredible, why let it go, right?

  It was the right thing to do…as was freeing Gisele of me. She mightn’t realize it now, but this was for her own good. She deserved the best. Sadly, the best didn’t have my name written on it.

  Gisele had gotten used to us sharing a bed. In those five nights, she’d thrown out her inhibitions and begun to sleep naked. She became emboldened, trying to seduce me at any opportunity. But after last night—after she rolled on top of my body, straddling my hips and almost succeeding in pulling out my dick out so she could sheath me with her pussy—I was left with no choice but to withdraw my presence in her life. Once I’d gotten everything under control again, I’d move back in. Not in her bedroom, either, but to my very own room. But for the time being, distancing myself was crucial.

  It was arduous to hold a steady gaze without revealing my guilt, so I dragged my eyes away from her stunning beauty, steeling myself to my decision.

  “I have to fly out to Seattle for a day,” I managed to say as I briskly stepped into the bedroom straight into the closet. Gisele calmly trailed behind me. Her luring scent lingered in the spacious walk-in closet. It engulfed my senses, deliberately threatening to test my resolve. “Isn’t today your first day? Don’t you have a class to rush to?” I had intended to make small talk, but my words came out accusatory.

  Gisele stepped before me, halting us in the middle of the enclosed space. Inquisitive gray eyes scanned my face, scrutinizing. “Something’s wrong,” she stated crisply. Her brows knitted together while she waited for me to offer an explanation. But when I stayed mum, her hand reached out to touch my face, analyzing. “What is it, Jared?”

  Her tenderness made me inwardly flinch. She deserved better, and yet, hesitation tested me. Gray eyes sought my unforgiving blue ones, threatening to break the dense barriers I had shielded myself with, established the moment my life had been shattered to nothingness.

  And for the very first time in almost a decade, I felt my heart tighten. The once pronounced dead heart constricted.

  There it is again, I loathingly noted. As if to prove a point. As if to remind me Gisele Weber affected me more than I dared conceive. She brought a pulse, breathing life into it once more. Like an essence of life, she revitalized the broken pieces of my soul.

  The unfamiliar palpitation made me instantly reject it. Not only was I flabbergasted at this, but also, to see Gisele’s contorted face while grasping what was happening to me simultaneously, it was overwhelmingly frightening. Being bombarded with such unwelcome emotions left a sour taste on my tongue.

  Fuck. What was happening to me? Was my guilt so shameful that my mind began to hallucinate nonexistent, unwarranted feelings? I mean, why else would my heart react so violently? This was the only rationalization I was willing to consider. The rest was absolute rubbish.

  Bloody hell. What had I gotten myself into?

  Less than a month married and I was waving the white flag. I had underestimated Gisele. More importantly, I had miscalculated the chemistry brewing between us. It was highly charged, palpable, heady to one’s senses.

  Rubbing my temple, I scanned the closet, seeming as though I was engrossed in wondering what to pack, but it was the last thing on my mind. Gisele’s eyes lingered on me as she steadily situated herself on the circular black ottoman that sat in the middle of the expansive closet.

  Do it now, you shameless bastard.

  I groaned before I cocked my head to the side and took a deep breath. My entire body tensed as I silently rehearsed the words in my mind.

  “Gisele…” I began to say, slowly meeting her tumultuous eyes. “I’ve thought this through and concluded this is the best course to take.” As the words monotonously drawled out of my lips, my unwavering gaze steadied on her confused one. “This thing between us, it can’t go on anymore. Not only is it wrong, but also, I have Rose to think about. Therefore, I’m temporarily moving out to give us both space and to keep things in perspective between us.” Rose…what the bloody fuck did I say that for? Too late to retract the devious excuse. The words had already been spoken.

  She cast her eyes downwards, immediately hiding her emotions. Her cheeks reddened, and I wasn’t sure i
f it was from anger or mortification. I was guessing the former. Gisele wouldn’t take this lightly. The siren had a temper, even though she kept it in check.

  As a result, when those tempestuous eyes lifted to connect with mine, it scorched my insides.

  “Whose perspective, yours or mine? Because I can tell you now, Jared St. James, I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone in my life. Life’s been crazy, and the only time it isn’t…It’s when I’m in your arms. I need you. Desperately. So, don’t take this away from me, too…It’s the only thing keeping me sane. Please, don’t leave.”

  Please.

  One word and it was threatening everything I stood for. Bloody hell. Why must she be so…so every goddamn thing that was all sorts of bad for me? There was a reason I kept her at arm’s length for years. In this very instant, I was being reminded why. Gisele Weber had the gift to make me doubt myself, and being the man I prided myself to be, it rocked my perfectly stable, work-driven, uncomplicated life.

  There was a decision to be made—be her pillar of strength or save myself from damnation. Planting a firm hand on my hip, my brows furrowed while being contemplative. Find a new course or retreat, my mind perpetually deliberated.

  I caught sight of her soft bottom lip trembling as she hopelessly regarded me. It gutted my insides to see her in pain.

  Overawed with consuming guilt, I quickly rushed to her side, situating myself next to her on the ottoman. Shifting her body so we faced one another, I was momentarily overwhelmed with a need to pacify her.

  “Gisele…” Don’t cry. I won’t be able to take it. My body having a mind of its own, it instinctively took hold of her soft hand, drawing it to my lips. The feel of her skin against my lips jolted my body to life. Captivated by the sensation she affected me with, I kept it there. My lips pressed, faintly brushing against her skin, kissing her palm, trailing onto her wrist.