The Guardian: A NOVEL

by Pamela Ann

  Blair wasn’t convinced, calling my bluff. “Who are you trying to kid, babe? It’s a great deal to you. As for Jared, that fucker really has to get it together, or we’ll kidnap you two and stick you both in a room until you guys figure it all out.”

  I snickered, amused at the idea. “Yeah, he’ll go bonkers if he’s away from the company for too long.”

  Blair’s dark impish eyes sparkled. “Sounds like a fun idea.” She was wicked through and through. God help the man who dared to tame her. My best friend was not one to give up without a fight. She’d go down, guns blazing and all.

  Vivienne toyed with her wine glass, throwing us stares as though we’d lost our senses. “Sounds fun until Jared calls the NSA on your crazy ass and then what? I don’t think being Gisele’s friend would get you off the hook.”

  “Nah,” Blair rebutted. “Jared and I are great friends. That man knows I’m the person to call when he needs someone on his team in regards with Gi.”

  They had definitely gotten on with Jared at my father’s funeral. That had its benefits as well as disadvantages. Hopefully, there wouldn’t come a time when they’d gang up on me. It surely would irritate me to no end.

  “I fairly believe you’re pretty chill with him due to the fact that he might introduce you to hunky eligible bachelors. With his kind of influence and power, I’m sure his roster is quite full.”

  She rolled her eyes, exasperated. “It’s called networking, genius. You should try it sometime.”

  Blair’s condescending tone didn’t go unnoticed. Vivienne wasn’t having it. “Must you always be so bitchy?” she derisively addressed the unapologetic brunette. “You finished your period last week, so there’s no excuse for this meanness. After Joao, you’ve been on everyone’s last nerve. Go get laid before you fucking explode from all that pent-up rage.”

  Out of the three of us, Vivienne was the most sensitive one, and yet, Blair thrilled at provoking our friend at the most inopportune time. But Vivienne sure knew how to put Blair in her place.

  Unpredictably, instead of lashing back on Vivienne’s cutting words, Blair just settled it by muttering something under her breath. An apology, it sure wasn’t.

  These two bickered like two old maids. One would think they’d get over it as we got older. But no, they go at it almost each time we were together. The same thing happened at my father’s funeral. They harped on everything. My birthday celebration wasn’t an exception. Sometimes, I wondered how these two survived without me as their referee. They’d most likely have murdered each other over a tedious subject, like who was wearing what color at a party. Given that our styles in clothing were alike, we had to plan ahead of schedule so that no one ended up being anyone’s second-rate doppelganger.

  “You two need to zip it. Save it for Sunday brunch, okay. You guys can have a ball insulting each other then. But for the time being, I beg of you, shut it down.”

  “Case closed,” Blair uttered, unruffled.

  Vivienne shrugged. “I second that,” she stated before drinking the rest of her wine.

  Eyes flickering between the two, a satisfied smile graced my lips. “See, silence is fucking golden, isn’t it? Now, it’s not a crime not to bicker for a week. You guys should really try it. It might be nice for a change. Gentle on my nerves and ears, too.”

  They both stared at me as if I’d lost my damn mind. Okay, I guess a truce lasting a week was just too much to ask. Never mind, then.

  “You know, I’m curious, Gi…” Vivienne glanced at me eagerly. “Tonight, when you did the nasty, did the sex make it or break it? How was he, I mean. Is he just as amazing as they said he was? Did he blow your mind?” She grilled further.

  Disclosing Jared’s sexual expertise had been vague. I didn’t like to kiss and tell. However, I managed to disclose the important bits, but I was not one to truly spill everything. I believed in preserving one’s bedroom privacy when it came to intimacy. But since Yovanna had announced to the world how Jared was the best sex of her life, Vivienne’s idle curiosity was understandable.

  “He is…um…very passionate.” The man lit me inside. Even now, I still could feel him within my body. He’d marked me. No man could match him. “It really is the polar opposite of Jack’s, without question. And I admit, as stupid as this sounds, it’s worth it—he’s worth it. Every single time. I can’t let him go…not now…not after tonight.” Airing out my heart’s burden and how I intended to go on carrying on a torch for him made them fleetingly glance at one another. From the knowing looks they just shared, I could already grasp their minds swirling with pros and cons.

  “And Wyatt? Where does he stand in any of this?” It was Vivienne who voiced out her concern at my tangled web of a love life…if one could call it such.

  Before I managed to answer, Blair interrupted me.

  “My brother’s been fixated on you. I knew he was a disgusting tool when I found him jacking off to a picture of you two years ago, so he stands nowhere, Vivienne. Just as he should.” Blair’s displeasure at her randy big brother jacking off to my photograph absolutely traumatized her. No words needed. Her priceless expression said it all.

  I choked on my saliva. “What the fuck, Blair! Give us a warning next time. Shit, man.” I couldn’t breathe. I was dying from laughter. The picture flashing in my head was too hysterical. None of us could ever look at Wyatt the same again.

  All three of us shared a good chuckle. It was nice to have a laugh again. I’d forgotten how it felt. So, for a short reprieve, the hollowness in my heart lightened its weight, letting me breathe a little freely from overburden.

  When we settled down, their interrogation was far from over. Blair, though she liked Jared, still had reservations about my over clinginess. She deemed it unhealthy. As for Vivienne, she was too curious about my odd bond with my fake husband.

  “Is Jared planning on working things with you? Did you just discuss it even?” Vivienne quietly asked as I casually smiled at the passersby going back and forth into the garden and back inside the house.

  Without glancing at them, I shook my head, feeling the weight of darkness settle on my chest once again. “We did discuss it, and no, he’s not planning on anything with me—well, apart from running away from me as far as he could possibly imagine, I guess.”

  She let out a hissing sound, peeved. “So…the whole sex thing tonight…Is it just a once a year birthday thing, then? I don’t fucking get why, Gi. Why the fuck are you holding on to a man who has no interest in being with you? Sure, he loves to fuck you once in a blue moon, but where is he now? He’s most likely back with that Rose chick. He’s back in her bed. So why the hell are you holding on again?”

  “I honestly don’t know.” I understood Vivienne’s argument. It wasn’t unfounded. Truth be told, I, too, had the same reasons, but tonight had changed it all. He only needed to touch me, and I was his again. Sadly, it seemed Jared knew it, too. Based on his ardent lovemaking earlier, he couldn’t get enough of me. But this was Jared, after all. Mercurial as ever. He could very well change his tune any time of the week, depending on his ever-shifting mood. “He wants me, but he doesn’t want to want me. It’s the same spiel since we got married. Nothing’s changed…on his part, still.”

  “Fucking hell, Gisele. You’re hopeless as hopeless gets.” Vivienne wrapped her arms around me before kissing the side of my head. “You’re the ultimate package—hot as fuck, models envy you, you’ve got the brains to back it up, and not to mention you’re mega rich—and even with all that, you’re not rich where it counts most.” She sighed, her arms winding around me more tightly. “If all else fails, you have Blair and me to distract you for the rest of your life. So fear not, my dearest babes, we got you.”

  After she released me, Blair shoved a newly filled champagne glass at me before she granted me an appeasing gaze. “Sooner or later, you have to decide, Gi.” She succinctly pointed out. “You can’t go on for another year living in this hell. Waiting on a man who doesn’t see your wo
rth only leads to devastation—your very own destruction. Next time he fucks up, just let it go. If he comes back, then renegotiate terms, but if he doesn’t, just forget you’re married to him. You keep forgetting this is a business deal. Jared sure hasn’t. If you want to stay afloat and not drown, you’ve got to think like him. Think like a man. Fight fire with fire. I’m sorry, but sometimes, being a pseudo-doormat isn’t all that appealing. Not even to me. Most especially with his kind of breed. They thrive on the chase, but you’ve never ever let him chase you because you’re already laid out like a six-course meal, ready whenever he comes knocking on your doorstep. Seriously, Gisele, get a fucking grip! I love you, but this is beyond pathetic. He’s supposed to be eating out of the palm of your hands. The only sure thing he’s eating is your fucking confidence. You’ve got to get back on the saddle, or you’re going to be left behind, Gi. It’s time to take the blindfold off, babe.”

  “Amen to that,” Vivienne readily agreed. “We all adore Jared, but he’s been leading you nowhere. If he doesn’t come crawling back to you after you guys tangoed, it’s time to ditch your heart and move on.”

  Tentatively, I smiled without it reaching my eyes. “Of course, I totally agree. Just give me time. I’ll eventually get there,” I murmured, knowing full well they were speaking with sense. They only wanted me happy…

  They’d supported me since, but I knew this one-way love made me pitiful in their eyes somehow. Maybe that was why Blair seemed surprisingly obliging towards my revelation of Wyatt. She knew where my heart belonged. She also knew I wasn’t going into a relationship with Wyatt knowing such a fact. I was stuck in a rut, but I was giving Jared one last chance. Japan should be a game changer. Good or bad, a decision had to be made.

  While Blair and Vivienne continued discussing other matters, arguing about gatecrashers and what not, I spotted someone familiar.

  “Ginny! You came!” I greeted my research partner for Robotics, whom I invited at the last minute since the woman had hardly warmed to me.

  She seemed hesitant as she cautiously eyed the themed surroundings, unmistakably uncomfortable. When her light blue eyes found me, she appeared confused for a moment. “Oh, my gosh! Gisele?” she blew out a breath. “Wowzers, you were pretty before, but gosh! You totally could pass as a supermodel. Who thought you were hiding such big tits underneath the sweaters?”

  Our class started super early. Sweater and jeans were the accommodating wear that could match my unpleasant mood. Early riser, I sure wasn’t, but it was the last slot available, so I was left functioning like a retarded robot until caffeine kicked in, which unfortunately, tended to take effect half an hour after boosting. Ginny had learned to cope on her own until then.

  I beamed before throwing her a massive heartwarming hug. “You mean a super hooker, right? Thank you for coming. Most of the people here are from school, but I hardly know any of them. You’re the first friendly face I know.”

  She pushed her thick black-rimmed glasses back, prickly as she wearily glanced towards Blair and Vivienne hovering behind me. “I’m kind obligated to drop by since you’re, like, the only friend I have in school.” She awkwardly grinned. “Sorry I didn’t come dressed as something or someone. It’s hard to dress a two-hundred-pound beluga and pass it off as something non-humiliating.”

  My face contorted at the sound of her criticizing herself. She did this, quite often, too. “How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling yourself that, Ginny? Berating yourself won’t make you feel any better. As for dressing up, don’t worry about it. It’s Blair’s idea, not mine.”

  Vivienne and Blair came over to greet Ginny. They’ve met a few days ago at the coffee shop where Ginny works right outside the school. Ginny was still hesitant to warm to the girls she categorized as “superficial Barbie’s.” She cataloged me in the same category up until two weeks ago when she and I became research partners. She’d had to live with bullying from the likes of us, and I couldn’t truly blame her for it. Blair sure did give off the vibe, so it was truly understandable. Hopefully, the more she and I got to know one another, the more she’d see that not all privileged kids were a hateful bunch. My friends and I most of the time took things for granted, but we weren’t unkind. True, Blair had the tendency to go off screeching like a banshee, but she was good where it counted the most.

  At first, Ginny appeared critical as she eyed my friends, but the more Vivienne cajoled her to try little sips of different alcoholic beverages, the more they bonded. We knew that if one of us befriended someone, we automatically welcome them with open arms. So, after an hour of her arrival, Ginny began to loosen up and warm to them. Her smiles became genuine, and she even laughed at one of Blair’s usual flair of sarcastic puns. Therefore, when Wyatt and Ethan came round to join us at one of the cozy sectional outdoor settees, we were all enjoying the party. Wyatt sat on the sofa’s armrest right next to me. He kept his distance but remained close to me for the rest of the evening.

  Blair, drunk as she was, even had the audacity to get on top of a table and scream her heart out, halting the entire party before ordering everyone to sing a happy birthday to me.

  It was heartwarming to feel loved by the people closest to me. After all, they were all I had. With father’s passing, everything had been a blur. However, my friends had kept me grounded, always reminding me that I wasn’t alone. That no matter what happened in the future, I could always count on them for love and support. Little did they realize, but I sort of teared up a bit. It wasn’t a major ugly cry moment or anything, but my eyes glassed with moisture, beyond appreciative to have them at the most delicate time in my life, when I was in dire need of warmth and affection.

  Right around one in the morning, after seeing Ginny off, Wyatt quietly followed behind, ready to take me back to my house.

  “Let’s go for a walk.” It had been ages since I felt bubbly, and I wanted to savor it with each passing second.

  Wyatt cocked his head before pasting an amused smile on. “It’s your birthday, so your wish is my command.”

  Three inches of heels didn’t deter me from walking a long stretch since most of the homes around here were estates. The air was crisp, the world asleep, and the comfortable silence of the night assuaged my troubled mind. Tall and willowy trees ensconced our well-lit path. I wasn’t sure what came over me, but all of a sudden, I overwhelmingly began to brazenly strut as if I were on a runway before pivoting on my heels and sashaying back towards Wyatt while he applauded, hooting his approval.

  We were laughing when he suddenly pulled me into his arms, stopping us both, as we stared into each other’s eyes. My throat ran dry seeing what I found in his depths. I barely managed to take a sharp breath before his lips dove to capture mine.

  It was possibly the idea of being wanted after enduring the lectures tonight, the mere fact that I was inebriated, or also how I felt quite happy after weeks of mourning. Whatever my reason was, I kissed Wyatt back with the same hungry, debilitating force. In the back of my mind, Jared’s words echoed deafeningly, but I couldn’t resist Wyatt’s kiss. He was here. He wasn’t fighting his desire for me. Surely, that counted for something, right?

  As our kiss deepened, we forgot we were in the middle of the road in the wee hours of the morning. I can learn to love him, my mind jolted me awake, shocking me with its unconscious thoughts.

  “Can I stay with you tonight?” Wyatt paused, our lips barely touching as he cradled my cheek. His body possessively held me. His desire heavily pressed against my stomach.

  “I don’t know…Will you be able to behave?” I promised Jared no more men…and yet, I’m beyond tempted to say yes. The thought of going back home to an empty house, a dark bedroom, and a cold bed felt anti-climactic for such a lovely evening.

  A teasing smile stretched his lips. “I can try, but no promises.”

  “Maybe next time, then,” I said hesitantly.

  The wicked smile merely deepened. “Let’s get you home first and decide from there.�
�

  My mind ran all sorts of scenarios as I complacently let him lead the way back to my home. His arm was secured around my hips as we trotted along the road. While he happily whistled, I weighed my options. Although sleeping with Wyatt was absolutely out of the question, indulging in a night filled with cuddling wasn’t a crime, either. Had Jared not emotionally pushed me away, confusion wouldn’t rule my brain. But alas, the man crisply stated he was keeping his distance, even though he acted rather jealous about Wyatt having his wicked way with me.

  Minutes passed until we finally reached the gate. I had to use the intercom on the access control pad to connect me to the security station, which was hidden behind the tall quaking aspen trees close to the gate’s entrance.

  “Hello?” I croaked out. “It’s me, Gisele. Buzz me in, please. Thank you.”

  “Right away, Miss Weber.” Mike’s voice echoed out of the control pad’s speakers.

  “Thank you, Mike.”

  “Have a good night and a happy birthday as well,” he thoughtfully added before wide expansive dual wrought iron and wood gates began to automatedly open.

  “Good night to you, too, Mike.”

  Wyatt’s arm hadn’t lessened its grip around my hip as we casually strode towards the long driveway leading to the house.

  “Can I sleep over, or are you still contemplating?” Wyatt asked the second we stepped into the foyer. The dimmed surroundings made his voice rather too intimate as he placed his other arm around my hip, fully encircling me with his body. Dark eyes gleamed with anticipation.

  Trepidation seized me as I pondered my present predicament—Wyatt and my promise of disengaging from this massive flirt. And yet, it was this man who was here, ensuring that I was home safe. The same guy who had done his best to take my mind off my father’s demise. Jared had been absent for the past month, only resurfacing back into my life when it suited him, and he retreated whenever he got the inclination to do so. So why must I put Jared first when I was at the very bottom of his? Was I so heartless that I could begrudge Wyatt this tiny innocuous request?