When wrong feels so right

by Mia Ford

  “Why thank you.” Evan steps to the side and opens the passenger side door for me. “Shall we get going? I don’t know about you but I’m absolutely starving.”

  “Yeah, me too,” I grin, suddenly realizing just how true that is. “I’m really excited to eat out again. I should get more clients like you that are willing to treat me.”

  As I step towards the car, Evan gets a really serious, intense look on his face for a moment. “I really hope that you don’t,” he says gruffly, displaying a raw emotion.

  I don’t understand his words, they’re too much for me. To the naked ear, they sound like the words of a man that’s falling for me despite the fact that he knows he probably shouldn’t… but I already know that he’s sleeping with Ally so it’s weird. He can’t really think that way, it must just be me projecting my feelings onto him. It doesn’t really mean anything.

  I don’t answer Evan’s strange comment because I don’t know what to say. Instead I slide into the passenger’s seat and I wait expectantly for him to get in too. Maybe if that situation was different I would be able to ask him about his words and the meaning behind them, I might be able to pluck up the courage to do so, but I don’t see any point in complicating things further. We need to keep this as simplistic as possible. Silence is the easy option, so that’s what I’ll go with.

  “Right,” Evan says with a grin, clearly not bothered by me ignoring his point. “Let’s get going, shall we? I have a table booked at a Japanese restaurant at half eight.”

  “Ooh lovely, that sounds great. Let’s get going.”

  ***

  “Do you want anything for desert?” Evan asks me, leaning in towards me in a manner that he wouldn’t do if we weren’t sitting on the big Japanese cushions in this restaurant, eating a meal with chopsticks which is surprisingly erotic with the right person. “Or have you had enough to eat?”

  I can’t help it, my heart skips about ten beats, this is insane. He’s making me feel so many things at once, I don’t know what to do with myself. I can’t keep pretending that this is nothing more than a business meal when the chemistry is circling us so tightly. I’m practically shivering because I’m such a mess. I can barely even look at Evan because I’m so screwed up.

  “I think I’ve had enough,” I tell him with a trembling voice. “But thank you, this has been…”

  “Yes, it has, hasn’t it?” he murmurs back. I can hear the lust in his voice and it’s driving me wild. The sparks that have been underlying between me and Evan since day one have intensified tonight. Damn Robyn for being right, for seeing what I wasn’t able to. I can’t ever tell her that she’s right. “Really nice. It’s made me realize just how much I’ve missed you.”

  I squeeze my eyes shut as his words kill me. I can’t hear that he’s missed me, not when I want to grab onto him to never let him go. “Yeah, I erm, I know what you mean,” I reply thickly.

  Evan reaches across the table to get his drink and as he does electricity flies all over my body. My heart explodes with emotions and I struggle to keep myself under control. I want to wrap my arms around Evan and to cling to him like a limpet.

  “So, if you’ve finished eating do you want to get out of here?”

  I don’t know if I do. I mean, of course I do because it’s the logical next step, but at the same time the moment we leave this place the night comes to an end, and who knows what will happen then? I mean, I’ll see Evan in the office, I’ll probably go to see him tomorrow in fact, but it won’t be the same. Then we’ll be in ‘work mode’, whereas this is something else completely. I don’t know what ‘mode’ we’re in, but I like it.

  “Yes, I suppose so,” I reply sadly, knowing that I have to be normal. I push myself into a standing position and move to the other side of the room where my shoes are waiting for me. “But it’s been a really lovely night.”

  Evan leaves the cash on the table for the meal and he grabs his shoes too. Because he’s been driving and I’ve wanted to keep a steady head neither of us have been drinking, but I feel intoxicated, like I’m absolutely wasted. There’s something about being near Evan that makes me feel dizzy and excitable, like I’m not really in the room at all. It isn’t a sensation that I’ve ever experienced before which just shows how intense all of this is.

  Just as I think we’re about to go, Evan does that thing again where he cups my cheeks in his hands and he stares deeply into my eyes. The last time this happened, we got interrupted by his cell phone ringing but it seems like nothing is going to stop us this time. The intense gaze that Evan’s giving me looks like it wouldn’t be broken even if an earthquake broke out. In the middle of this Japanese restaurant, Evan dips his head down and he crashes his lips into mine hard and fast. He presses his mouth against mine for just a second, not long enough to be inappropriate but for enough time to have fireworks exploding inside of me. The sweet kiss knocks me from my feet and turns my world upside down completely. It feels so much better than I expected it to, I never want it to end.

  “Come on,” Evan whispers to me as we finally pull apart. “Let’s get you home.”

  I don’t know what he means by that, it could be anything, but I’m very excited to find out.

  Chapter Thirteen – Evan

  I feel like a whole new man as I reach the office the following morning, like everything in the world is completely different, and in the best way possible. Me and Katy went on a night out that very quickly turned into the date I wanted it to be, however it started out, and then at the end of the night I walked her home and I kissed her for the second time. And this is where it gets crazy… then I left. I could tell that Katy wanted me to come inside with her, and to be honest I really did too, but I don’t want what I share with her to be a cheap fuck. I don’t want her to be a notch on the bed post. What I actually want is something real, and I need to prove that to her, whatever it takes.

  “Hello, boss,” Ally cries out as soon as she sees me entering. “All okay?”

  I turn to look at her with confusion in my face, but it quickly becomes obvious from her serene expression on her face that she’s over yesterday. Warm relief floods my chest as my smile brightens. I’m so glad we can move past what happened now, and quickly. That makes things much easier for me, which is perfect when I think about all the other mess in my life.

  “Hi, Ally. Yeah, it’s all good. Are you okay?” She nods enthusiastically. “Great. That’s good. What do you have going on today? Am I super busy?”

  “I thought you wanted your schedule cleared to spend the day planning with Katy?” Hmm, she’s using her name now which means things must be better. “Isn’t that right? I think she’s coming in soon. I can call her and cancel if things are strained? I can just tell her you double booked.”

  Of course, I’m not going to do that, all I want to do is spend time with Katy. I knew she was coming in today, I just didn’t realize that I’d booked the whole day for it. I suppose that makes sense considering this is the future of the company! What a pleasant surprise.

  “Can I ask what she’s doing here now?” Ally asks me quietly. “I mean, we don’t often have a lawyer here all the damn time so I know it must be huge, I guess I’m just scared that things are going…” She doesn’t say anything, she makes a thumbs down sign instead.

  I don’t like this, the rumor mill is starting. I need to say something to calm things down before they really spiral out of control. The last thing I need is Ally creating an unnecessary wave of panic throughout the office. I think on my feet and say something almost true.

  “I’m restructuring. That’s why I need a lawyer. I need to get things set out by law, you know?”

  “Oh.” Ally looks pleasantly shocked. “Okay, well that’s… so my job is safe?”

  “Yes, you’re job is safe. You don’t have to worry about it.”

  She nods slowly but happily which makes me breathe out a sigh of relief. At least I’ve managed to nip things in the bud for now, and if things go in the way tha
t they’re supposed to, the way that Katy keeps promising me that they will be, then Ally and the others won’t even need to find out that there was any threat to their jobs and livelihood at all.

  “Well that’s good news, I’m glad to hear it. You would tell me if something was going to happen, wouldn’t you? I wouldn’t want to be the last to know…”

  My chest clenches, I feel a little sick. I hate lying to Ally when I know what’s really going on, but it’s the best thing for everyone. “Yeah, of course. I would tell you.” I pull away from Ally, needing to get into my office before I go and say something a little too honest at the wrong moment. “Well, I suppose I better get to work, get myself all ready for my restructuring meeting today…”

  “With the restructure, will anyone else lose their job? I mean, are you going to stream line things so some people aren’t needed? I don’t want to be a gossip, I guess I just want to know and since me and you have always been close…”

  Shit, I need to put an end to this before she drags something out of me. Ally has been more perceptive than I gave her credit for and now that might be about to come back to bite me in the ass. “I don’t know what’s going to happen yet, but I’m going to do the best that I can to ensure that no one loses their job, okay? It doesn’t interest me to leave anyone without a job, you know that about me.”

  “Yeah, of course.” Ally nods rapidly like she’s afraid to offend me. “Of course, I know that I wasn’t suggesting… I guess I’m just concerned for me and my friends, that’s all.”

  She makes me feel all weird inside, her comments have zapped all the happiness from my body. I don’t like the thought that I’m letting people down, it sucks. I guess the only thing I can do is work my damn ass off to ensure that doesn’t happen. It isn’t just Liam relying on me, it’s everyone else too.

  “That’s not going to happen, so don’t worry about it.”

  Once I shut the office door behind me I breathe so deeply I think I might explode. This is a nightmare, I can’t cope. It’s making my head spin like crazy. I need Katy to get here soon, to tell me that it’s all going to be okay in that lovely soft voice of hers. She just has this way of making me relax right at the moment that it feels the whole world might crash around me. Her warmth makes me think that I might just be able to save my company after all.

  God, I hope I haven’t fucked that up by kissing her.

  The memory of kissing Katy once has my heart skipping a beat, and the second one was even better. It just highlighted the chemistry that we have between us, and makes me want to know even more what it’ll be like when we take things one step further. And not even in a seedy way, my brain isn’t coming up with dirty, filthy, porn like images. The ideas are more loving, like the sort form a chick flick or something… it’s absolutely mental, but I kinda like it.

  “Hey.” All of a sudden as if I’ve created her from nowhere, hear head pops around the corner and she smiles shyly at me. “How are you? Can I come in?”

  Her hair is hanging down lose and it’s slightly wavy, and I can also see that she has just a little bit of make up on. Much as I prefer the natural look on Katy, I like that she’s made an effort. It shows that she was thinking about me when she got dressed this morning and she wanted to look nice. I wanted to look nice for Katy too so it’s safe to say that the feeling is mutual.

  “Of course, you can come in,” I tell her with a smile. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

  I bite down on my bottom lip and wait for her to enter the room. As her sweet scent fills my office I inhale deeply and love every moment of it. Katy is still in her trademark business suit style, but there’s something a little sexier about it today… she’s added a skirt into the mix, just like she had on at the dinner which looks incredible. She’s so hot it’s hard to keep away from her.

  “So, last night was interesting,” she dives right into the difficult topic straight away. “Erm, do you think it’s something we might need to talk about?”

  Normally, even the idea of talking feelings with a woman would make me run for the hills. I wouldn’t even want to consider it, but with Katy my heart is surprisingly open. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. “Yes, okay. What do you want to say about it?”

  “Well, I don’t know, I guess I just…” She gives me a curious look, so I try to smile as reassuringly as I can. “I just think that we need to be careful. We can’t let whatever this is get in the way of us working together. It could just get really complicated, and I don’t want you to lose all of this that we’ve worked so hard for, you know?”

  I narrow my eyes and cock my head at her. “Are you trying to suggest that we just keep this between us for now? Because I’m totally cool with that. It’s probably for the best, right? Since you’re the lawyer helping me with my case.”

  She nods along with me and smiles widely. “Okay good, thank you. I think that’s for the best for now. And we should probably try and focus only on work while we’re working. Like, I don’t think we should kiss or anything while we’re sorting out the plans.”

  I don’t like that quite as much. Part of the fun of hooking up in the work place is the thrill of doing something crazy and possibly getting caught for it… but I respect Katy too much to ignore her words. If this is what she wants then I’ll let her have it.

  “Sure, that’s wise. Let’s just focus on the plans while we’re at work.” She pauses for a moment and I can almost see the steam of thoughts running through her brain. “What’s going on? Is there more?”

  “It’s just… well, I hate to ask this.” She looks so uncomfortable it takes everything I have not to take her in my arms and hold her close to my chest. “But Ally…”

  Ah of course. Katy is super perceptive, of course she’s spotted that there’s something going on between me and Ally. There’s no point in me trying to deny it, not if she’s already seen.

  “There was something between me and Ally, I will be honest with you, but it was only a sexual thing, it wasn’t ever more… and I’ve ended it now.”

  “Isn’t that awkward?” She glanced towards the door as if Ally is about to burst through it in a fit of rage. “Working together and stuff.”

  “We always both knew exactly what it was so it’s fine. Better than fine actually, me and Ally are okay. There isn’t anything to worry about there.”

  She doesn’t look like she fully trusts my words, but she does nod which I take as a good sign. This could create some sorts of issues later on, maybe, but for now it all looks great. Finally, it seems like something might be going my way.

  Katy takes a seat on the other side of my desk, so I copy her. She might have created some ground rules for us to try and stop things from getting out of control, but that doesn’t stop the intense, sexual vibrations from flowing between us. It hums in the air and makes it really difficult for me to keep my hands to myself.

  “So,” I say as calmly as I can. “What do we need to do today?”

  As Katy talks, I focus on the movement of her plump lips, while a deep pressure builds in my chest. In reality it hasn’t been that long at all but it feels like this thing between me and her has been building forever. I know she’s saying some very serious stuff to me, but I can barely hear it.

  I’m doing okay now, but the sexual tension is going to get to me eventually. I am going to cave and try something. I just hope that Katy caves first…

  Chapter Fourteen – Katy

  The tension is too much, it’s crushing me, I don’t know what to do about it. Every single conversation that me and Evan share, however innocent, somehow manages to have a sexual undertone. Every time his skin brushes against mine I feel like I’ve been electrocuted. I can barely stand to look at him he has me feeling so many things inside. The kiss we shared last night was so filled with promise, so much so that I thought it was going to culminate into something right there and then, but since it didn’t the atmosphere between us is heady and thick with lust.

  “So, erm…” I blink m
y eyes a couple of times, trying to steady myself. With him so close to me it’s as if I’m staring directly into the sun. “I think we’re all set for the day, don’t you?”

  “Oh I certainly do,” Evan replies with a twinkle in his eye. “We’ve worked our asses off, haven’t we? We’ve done so much that I’m starting to think that I might need to keep you around full time. Having a lawyer is more useful than I thought it would be.”

  I shiver lightly at the idea of working here full time. It certainly beats the fear that’s leading up to the partner decision making process at Harrison and Associates that’s taking absolutely forever. But of course, that’s ridiculous, it just couldn’t work ever.

  “Let’s just save your business first,” I reply wryly. “One thing at a time. I don’t think it’s a good idea to start hiring new people, do you?”

  “Alright, fine.” He rolls his eyes in a mocking manner. “I won’t hire you just yet.”

  As we collect up the papers, I feel a lump forming in the back of my throat. Despite the fact that it’s been damn near impossible, we’ve stuck to my rule about keeping it all about work, but now… well now work is done. Who knows what will happen. I lay awake pretty much all night long trying to work out how we can make this thing work even slightly in a way that doesn’t mess us both up, and that’s all I could come up with. Keep it about work and keep it a secret. I just don’t want anyone to find out about us until we’ve stopped working together… and maybe not even then if I can help it. I don’t want my integrity ruined and I also don’t want anything to affect Evan’s chance to keep his business. That isn’t fair, just because there’s a solid attraction there, we shouldn’t be punished.

  Especially when it’s the first time for me in a very long time! I’m so enjoying this feeling, it’s utterly intoxicating. I don’t want to give it up just because it isn’t right, and honestly, I don’t think I can. Not now that we’ve already overstepped that boundary. It’s too much for me.