Cross Drop

by Elizabeth Hartey

  “I’m good, Matt. Everything’s great.” My forced smile may belie my words but I’m not ready to tell him what’s going on with Dalt. I need to talk to my mom first.

  “Papa! Papa!” Chloe wriggles in my arms and stretches her arms out to Matt.

  Matt unhooks his arm from around my mom, takes Chloe out of my arms, and lifts her in the air. “There’s my little ballerina. What are you up to today?” He spins her around a couple times and Chloe giggles.

  “Tookies,” she hiccoughs in between giggles.

  “Cookies? Did you make one for your old papa?” He bounces her.

  Her old papa? You mean her fitness model papa?

  Anyway, the scene couldn’t be cuter. I realize Matt is the only male figure Chloe has ever known and I love how much they love each other. Nevertheless, as I said, our little extended family is slightly peculiar.

  “Matt, why don’t you take Chloe out to visit Belle for a few minutes?” Mom suggests as she puts the teakettle on the stove. “Nikki and I need to have a cup of tea and some girl time.”

  “No problem, hon. Would you like to go see Belle, sweet pea?” Matt continues to bounce Chloe on his hip.

  “Belle!” Chloe is more than happy to take him up on his offer. Belle is the newest addition to our livestock. Chloe was present at her birth and has decided Belle is her new baby.

  “Belle want tookie.” Chloe holds up the remainder of the melting cookie she’s been clutching in her hand.

  “Belle only likes her mama’s milk right now, sweetheart. But maybe her mama wouldn’t mind if you fed Belle a bottle of that. What do ya think?” Matt leans Chloe over the sink and washes the remnants of cookie and gooey chocolate off her hands. “Take your time, ladies. Chloe and I will be out in the yard having some fun.” He bends down to give Mom another kiss, this time on the cheek.

  “Thanks so much, Matt. I’ll be out in a minute to give you a hand with the shearing.”

  “No need, Nikki girl. Your mom and I make a good team.” He winks at my mom and a flush of pink colors her face. “We’ve almost made it through the whole herd.”

  “Already? The vacuuming and shearing both? Wow. You guys are a good team.” Mom’s eyes sparkle as she gazes up at Matt and he stares at her like she’s his ’tookie.’

  “Okay. Out of here you two. Lunch will be ready soon.” Mom gives Matt a pat on his backside and there may have been a little squeeze added. More than I need to see, ever.

  “See you in a few minutes, munchkin.” I wave to Chloe as Matt carries her out the door.

  The kettle whistles on cue. Tea is Mom’s cure for anything ailing you, emotionally or physically. She decides what type based on your mood or illness. As a kid I drank my weight in Echinacea tea anytime Mom heard the slightest sniffle. Today I’m betting it will be her special blend of chamomile and rose petals for calming and stress relief.

  “I have a wonderful new blend of chamomile. How does that sound?” My mom, the tea whisperer. Wait. She doesn’t whisper to the tea. Whatever.

  “Sounds perfect.” I take two of her treasured cups and saucers out of the glass-doored cabinet in one corner of the kitchen and set them on the long trestle farmhouse table in the middle of the room.

  My dad gave her the tea set with the delicate rosebud pattern on their second wedding anniversary. She takes such attentive care of it you would think it was china from the Ming Dynasty. It’s the same way she cares for anything that provides a memory of my dad.

  I take a seat while Mom pours the tea and then places a plate full of warm cookies on the table.

  “Is everything okay at school?” she asks, taking the seat next to me.

  “Everything is wonderful.” I smile into my teacup before taking a sip of the comforting warm liquid.

  “But…?”

  “But it’s a little complicated.” I shrug.

  “Complicated how, sweetheart?” She peers at me over the rim of her cup.

  “Well…I’m…I’m back with Dalt,” I blurt out and hold my breath, my eyes clenched closed. Silence, except for the sound of her cup sliding across the saucer.

  I peek one eye open to see if she’s fainted and managed to put her cup down first to keep it from getting broken. She hasn’t. She’s staring at me like I have two heads and one of them is spinning Exorcist-style.

  “Oh, Nikki. No. I know he’s Chloe’s father and you miss him, but after what he did to you, honey. I don’t think you—”

  “No, Mom. He didn’t do anything. Turns out his father lied about everything. Dalt wasn’t engaged to anyone else and he didn’t send his father to offer me the money. Dalt didn’t know anything about it.”

  My explanation comes out in a bit of an angry tone. Not directed at my mom, of course, but at the man who nearly destroyed the life Dalt and I had together and kept Dalt and Chloe out of each other’s lives for almost two years. I suppose, technically, I was the one who kept them apart, but Mr. Walker was definitely the noxious facilitator.

  “But why? Why would his father do such an awful thing?” She shakes her head like she can’t believe what I’m telling her.

  “Apparently he tries to control everything Dalt does. He didn’t want him to be involved with someone of my…my status, or lack of it. He wants Dalt to marry someone wealthy. There’s some girl in California he wants him to marry. He made up the whole engagement and money thing to get me out of Dalt’s life. And I was foolish enough to believe him and not trust in Dalt.”

  “I don’t understand. He met with you without Dalt knowing about it, lied to you, and offered you money like you were some kind of…of…Why? Why would a father ever want to do something so horrible not only to you but to his own son?” Her hands are trembling around her tea cup as she contemplates the ramifications of Harrison Walker’s actions. She swipes away the tears spilling from her eyes.

  How do I explain something I don’t understand myself? How could a woman who would have run through fire to keep me happy and loved ever understand why a father would do everything in his power to manipulate his son’s life in the name of wealth and status, indifferent to any kind of love?

  “I don’t know.” I let out a big sigh. “But Dalt has been nothing but wonderful to me now that we both know the truth. And he wants us to be together. We both want to be together.”

  “That’s wonderful, sweetheart. I’m very happy for you.” She places her hand atop mine. “But how does his father feel about it?”

  “Dalt hasn’t spoken to him yet. He wants to confront him in person.” Mom nods in understanding. She’s regained her composure enough to pick up her cup.

  “The thing is…well, Dalt wants us to move to California. He’s been offered a contract to play for an NHL team out there.”

  Uh oh. The cup is trembling in her hand again.

  “California?” The word catches in her throat. “You and Chloe will be moving to California?” Her eyes are glazed over with tears but I can tell she’s trying to hold them back. As usual she won’t say a word to influence me one way or the other until she knows what I want.

  “That’s the other thing. Um…I haven’t told him about Chloe yet.” I’m not even sure I said the words aloud until I hear Mom’s cup crash into its saucer. Thank goodness it didn’t break or I’d have to heap my guilt over its loss on top of everything else.

  “Oh, Nikki. Why? You know I was reluctant when you decided to keep her birth a secret from Dalt. But when you told me the circumstances and I thought about how horrible the Walkers were, I understood why you wanted to protect Chloe from them. But you can’t keep his baby girl away from him one second more now that you know the truth. If he finds out before you tell him yourself, he’s going to feel as betrayed by you as he was by his father.”

  She hasn’t said anything I haven’t said to myself a thousand times in the past two days.

  “I know I have to tell him. I’ve been trying but I…I’m…”

  “You’re afraid you’ll lose him again. I understand.” She
brushes a wayward strand of hair off my face. “When I got pregnant with you, I was scared to death to tell your dad. I thought he’d dump me and run from the responsibility, even though in my heart I knew he was a better man than that. He was all the wonderful things put together I had fallen in love with. When I told him, he took me in his arms, told me he loved me more than life itself, and said I’d made him the happiest man on Earth. We got married the next week.”

  Wait. What? They got pregnant with me before they were married?

  Definitely a conversation we’re going to have to have on another day.

  “Tell him, Nikki. He’ll understand your conflict after what his father put you both through. If he’s half the man you believed he was when you fell in love with him, he’s going to adore Chloe and you for giving her to him.”

  Our conversation is interrupted by the sound of a car coming up our graveled driveway.

  “Who could that be? We’re not expecting anyone else today.”

  Almost as if I could read it in the tea leaves, a feeling of dread sweeps over me.

  CHAPTER

  TWENTY-FIVE

  Nikki

  My stomach drops when I see Dalt’s shiny black Levante coming down the driveway. The panicked validation thumps in my head. Everything I’ve been fearing for the past two days is about to come true. I glance around to see where Matt and Chloe are, but they’re nowhere in sight, probably still in back by the pen. I just need some time to talk to Dalt before he sees Chloe. Another scene in a Shakespearean tragedy about to take place. I run out to greet him.

  “Hey, hockey boy!” I give an attempt at an excited welcome, but it sounds strained even to my ears. “Couldn’t live without me even for one day, huh?” With a nervous laugh I throw my arms around his neck and he wraps his around my waist.

  “Sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to stalk you. I know you wanted the day to get things squared away but all hell’s broken loose back home and Garrett’s about to lose it. I couldn’t leave without seeing you first and telling you face to face. I’d ask you to come with me but I know you said you need to help out here.” He brushes a kiss across my lips and I find myself wishing I had some kind of magic powers to blink and whisk us both away. “Unless you’ll change your mind and take a trip with me to Cali?”

  “What happened? Is Garrett okay?” I glance around to see if the proverbial nerve-wracking coast is still clear.

  “He’s fine. But apparently my fucking father has gotten himself into a well-deserved pickle.” He smirks.

  “A…a pickle?” I’m trying to focus on what Dalt is saying but my mind is screaming at me to find somewhere to take him where we can talk before it’s too late.

  “Evidently the old bastard has gotten himself arrested for sexual abuse of a minor. He claims he didn’t know the girl was only sixteen. The dumb fucker was wearing his big fake smile and nothing else when he let her take pictures of the two of them in his hot tub.”

  “Oh my God. He’s just awful.” The more I hear about his father the more I wish I hadn’t stopped myself from throwing up on his shoes.

  “Tell me about it. Now there are all kinds of women coming forward with sexual harassment charges against him. It was only a matter of time. I told Garrett it was bound to happen. The man is disgusting.” Dalt runs a hand through his hair.

  And then it happens. I hear Chloe’s giggles and laughs coming toward us. She runs right past me and wraps her little arms around Dalt’s legs like she’s known him for years.

  “Who’s dis?” She cranes her neck back to look up at him.

  I take a step back. Did the thought cross my mind to run away? Um…maybe, for just a second.

  “Well hello there, sweetheart.” Dalt squats down bringing his face level with Chloe’s. She immediately reaches her arms out for him to lift her up. When Dalt scoops her into his arms and stands up, my breath catches in equal amounts of joy and terror.

  “What’s your name, gorgeous?” He bounces her like an expert at toddler bouncing.

  “Toey,” she answers and runs her tiny hand down her daddy’s cheek. “Mama, who’s dis?” she turns to me and asks. And there it is, the wide-eyed shock I’ve been dreading to see on Dalt’s face.

  “Mama?” His brow pinches in confusion. “Nikki, what…”

  He stops midsentence and refocuses on Chloe. I know the second the dawn breaks and Dalt sees his own eyes staring back at him.

  “She…she’s mine.” His voice breaks. “How? When? I don’t—”

  “It was Jägermeister night, in your car. Chloe’s twenty months old,” I answer in a quiet voice. “Chloe, this is…this is Dalt,” I add, since my baby girl is looking between her muddle-headed mom and the stranger holding her, wondering what the heck is going on.

  Dalt stares at me for a moment his head tilted, his brows squished together in utter confusion. In that moment everything he’s thinking passes between us. How could I do this? Why did I do this? How could I have kept this from him even after everything we shared the past two days?

  “Please, Dalt. Let me explain.”

  He shakes his head as the realization of all his unanswered questions fill his eyes with unshed tears. He holds his hand out to stop me from speaking. I clutch my arms around my waist not only to keep myself from falling apart but also to keep myself from reaching out to him. I’m afraid if I try to touch him he’ll push me away.

  “Dote.” Chloe giggles and taps his face.

  Dalt looks at her. “That’s right, sweetheart. I’m Dalt. I’m your…I’m Dalt.” He crushes her to his chest, burying his nose in her hair. I can’t see them but I know the tears he’s been holding back must be falling into Chloe’s hair because his body is trembling with the strained attempt to keep Chloe from hearing him cry.

  “Dalt, please. I…I was going to tell you.” My voice cracks. My entire body is trembling. “I found out right before you left for the Boston game. I planned on telling you after you came back when we were alone on our camping trip. Then your father showed up and I was confused and scared.” He’s still clutching Chloe in his arms in a tight hug. He doesn’t look at me. I don’t even know if he’s listening to me.

  “Mama,” Chloe whines and wiggles in his arms. I can see how tightly he’s clutching her. She begins whimpering. Dalt becomes aware of her discomfort and when he loosens his grip, she reaches out to me. I take half a step toward them and Dalt hands her to me without looking into my eyes.

  Oh God. This can’t be happening.

  I can’t be losing him again. Not after everything we’ve said to each other.

  “Nikki, honey. Is everything okay?” my mom calls out as she and Matt approach us. I don’t know how long they’ve been there, how much they’ve seen.

  “Mom, this is Dalt.” I swipe a finger under both eyes. “Dalt, this is my mom, Rose, and Matt.”

  Dalt doesn’t say a word, just swipes his palm across his cheeks to wipe away his tears and tips his head toward them. This is a scene right out of my absolute worst-case scenario nightmare.

  “It’s very nice to meet you, Dalt. I wish it was under better circumstances. You and Nikki need to talk, especially for Chloe’s sake.” Mom takes Chloe out of my arms. “Come on, baby girl. Nana’s got lunch all ready for you.”

  “‘Tay. Bye, Dote.” Chloe waves, apparently having forgiven Dalt for the too tight squeeze.

  “Bye, Chloe,” Dalt whispers.

  My heart is breaking. I want to hold him, comfort him. But I can’t, because I did this to him. Not his father, me. I put that anguish in his eyes for the second time in two days. But this time it’s worse. He won’t even look at me.

  “I hope you’ll join us for lunch, Dalt. We’d love to have you.” My mom looks up at Matt and blows out a big breath.

  “Listen, kid,” Matt growls. “You oughta give Nikki a chance to explain. You and your fuc…freakin’ father put her through hell for two years.”

  Mom grabs Matt’s arm and shakes her head in disapproval.


  “Yeah, well, I understand you didn’t have anything to do with it. But Nikki didn’t know that,” Matt says. “She was only trying to protect herself and her baby. What your dad did was fu…was messed up.” Matt glances at Chloe.

  Dalt takes a deep, pained breath and closes his eyes.

  “Matt, I think we should give them some space. Give them time to talk, alone.” Mom gives me a smile of encouragement and the three of them head back into the house.

  When Dalt opens his eyes and glares at me for the first time in several minutes, I know this is every bit as bad as I had imagined it would be. This time his beautiful blue eyes aren’t filled with torment, they’re cold and as hard as flinty steel. He stumbles backward toward his car.

  “Wait. Please listen.” My brain is useless, filled with sludge I’m trying to wade through to find the right words to explain why I did what I did. “Try to understand. When your father came to the dorm the night you were away and told me all those lies and then offered me the money, I was so frightened. I was devastated by what I thought was your betrayal. But when I ran out of the dorm, away from him, all I could think about was my baby, our baby. It occurred to me how rich and powerful he must be to offer someone that kind of money on a whim. I thought if he found out I was pregnant he would try to make me either get rid of her or take her away from me. I couldn’t let that happen. I loved the part of you growing inside me.”

  “So you lied to me. You lied to me because you thought I was as big of a monster as my father.” His voice is flat, monotone.

  “I was confused. I—”

  “How about for the past two days while you were whispering words of love in my ears and we were fucking each other’s brains out. Were you confused then?”

  “No. I was scared…scared I was going to lose you when you found out what I had done.” I drop my chin to my chest.