Olivia chuckled softly. “I hate to tell you this, but you have awoken with a quite ordinary woman who is not very interesting at all.”
Cade’s fingers tightened in her hair. “You are more woman than any I’ve ever known before,” he whispered in reply, then leaned down and kissed her forehead, then her cheek.
He felt her tense slightly, then slowly relax, her fingers continuing their caress of his chest. Much to his surprise, she moved closer to him, sliding her leg down the length of his, and he had to control his moan of approval.
She moved her fingers up to his face and explored the lines, tracing his eye brows, then his cheeks, then finally his lips. Their eyes clashed and he searched her face. The temptation was too much to resist and he lowered his lips to hers. He was gentle and tender with her and his heart began to beat rapidly as she began to respond, her lips moving against his.
Her body fit his so perfectly and his hands pressed against her ribs, sliding them around her body as he continued slanting his mouth over hers. Her small sound of pleasure made his body react uncontrollably, and if she moved any closer she would find out exactly what it was that he wanted from her. His hands moved around to her chest, and slid slowly up to gently press against the lower portion of her breasts.
She gasped and her back arched towards him, her lips breaking away from his. For a few moments he was afraid she was going to pull away, that he had pushed her too far. Instead, she pressed back to him and sought his lips again. His surprise did not stop him from accepting her seeking query, and he slanted his mouth against her harder, and his hands slid up slightly, softly and slowly caressing her breasts through her gown.
She was still hesitant with him, but when he lightly plucked at her nipples, a shiver slid down her body and he wanted nothing more than to pull her clothes off of her and feel her skin against his. He began to tug on the ties of her dress, and quickly slid the fabric off her shoulders. His lips tore away from hers and began traveling down the length of her neck, inhaling her sweet scent.
Olivia whimpered and moved restlessly, and his other hand slid down and began to pull up her skirts. She moaned when his hand came upon the skin of her thigh. She whispered his name and moved even closer to him, but her body suddenly stopped moving as she became very aware of exactly how his body was reacting to her touch and her movements.
She was breathing heavily and her hands froze on his shoulders. His eyes searched her face, and her eyes reflected the same desire that was pulling at him. But she had just confessed to him the night before about a time she was nearly raped, a time that had left her traumatized. She very well could think he was the same as the men that tried to rape her, and he wouldn’t blame her. He had lost control.
“Cade,” she whispered, and he closed his eyes, afraid of what she was going to say next to him. “Cade, please don’t stop.”
His eyes snapped open and he searched her face. The desire all over it made his heart race. No longer afraid to share with her the passion she was creating within him, he pulled her body tightly against his and slanted his mouth over hers aggressively, his lips pressing urgently against hers and she responded with the same eagerness.
He moved his fingers rapidly over the laces and hooks of her dress until he had slid it down to her waist and he paused, pulling back to look at her. She blushed as his eyes roved over her, and he drank in the sight of the woman that had tormented his thoughts and his dreams for the last several days.
She was slender, yet she wasn’t too thin. Her collarbone was visible, and he pressed kisses across her, tasting the sweet, delicate flavor of her skin. Then he pulled back, his eyes continuing down her body.
Her chest was moving rapidly as she tried to breathe evenly, but it made her full breasts quiver. With the flame from the hearth the only source of light, her breasts seemed to move to their own rhythm. They were full and round and her areoles were a smooth maroon, the tips puckered tightly into two stiff peaks.
He dipped his head and kissed her breast gently, slowly circling the nipple and she arched again.
“Cade, what are you doing to me?” She gasped, her fingers tugging on his hair.
He smiled as he continued to torture her with kisses. “Seducing you, I hope,” he murmured against her skin.
His kisses tightened the circle until he was breathing warmly over her nipple. She was tugging on his head with her fingers, urging him to place his lips on the tip that had become painfully taut.
She gasped and her fingers flexed against his scalp as he slowly ran his tongue around the stiff peak, slipping it into his warm mouth.
“Oh, God,” Olivia whimpered as his mouth closed over her, his lips suckling at her breast, his hand massaging the other one and plucking lightly at the other aching peak.
Her hips flexed, and it was his turn to groan as her body moved against his stiff erection. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this hungry for a woman.
“Olivia,” he whispered, reluctantly releasing her breast from his mouth and focusing on her intently. “I want you.”
She was watching him with her wide hazel eyes, the desire in them something he had never imagined to see. Not from her, at least. Which made it that much more of an aphrodisiac. She licked her lips, and he could see the pulse throbbing in the base of her neck.
He attempted to move quickly, having worked her skirts up around her waist, and attempted to mount her, anticipating the sweet, wet warmth that would welcome him. Yet, instead, white sharp pain exploded in his head and he couldn’t seem to think straight. He heard his own angry moan of pain, but it sounded like it was far away.
And then he heard Olivia’s voice, calm and soothing, her cool hands easing him back against the pillows. Everything seemed to fade in and out, going from light to darkness, but he clung to her voice. What had happened? His mind demanded to know. One moment he had been about to sheath himself in Olivia’s welcoming body, and the next he was desperately trying to catch his breath and not pass out.
Olivia was moving around him, and he noticed that her gown was still open to her waist and her breasts swayed with her movements. He closed his eyes as pain burst forth again. Maybe this was a punishment of some sort. To crave and desire someone as beautiful and exquisite as Olivia might come with a steep payment.
Cade shook his head at himself. Now he was just thinking gibberish. Slowly, the pain began to ease, extremely slowly. As his breathing calmed, the room stopped spinning and everything began to come into focus instead of fading in and out. He felt cold and hot at the same time. He didn’t understand what was happening. All he could do was watch Olivia, who was moving quickly around him.
She had pulled her gown partway closed, though he could still see the shining globes of her breasts in the firelight. But she was no longer smiling, and her face was no longer flushed with passion. Instead, everything about the expressions she had indicated worry and concern.
“My sweet angel,” Cade whispered, reaching a hand out to caress her cheek and her eyes jumped to his. “I’m so sorry. All I could think of was... well, I think you know all I could think of. I completely forgot about my injuries. Now I’ve ruined a special moment we had together.”
At first he was afraid she would pull away. Perhaps it had all been a magic spell that had been cast over both of them that had allowed them to touch and explore each other’s bodies, to feel ecstasy and pleasure together. Perhaps the spell was broken, now, and he had no way of getting her back.
To his surprise, she caught his hand and held it to her face, kissing his knuckles. “Cade, you haven’t ruined anything. What you did... the way you held me... Thank you. You made me feel like a true woman.”
She was thanking him? He hadn’t brought her the satisfaction she deserved, and yet she was thanking him? And why was she doing it in such a way as though it seemed it would never happen again?
She continued talking, and he tried to focus on her words, as a fog seemed to be slowly creeping into his mind. �
��Your leg is infected again, Cade.” She gave him a halfhearted smile. “I wouldn’t have known if you hadn’t split your cut just now when you tried to... well, when you moved so abruptly.” She looked away from him, her eyes returning to his cut. “I have to treat it, Cade, and you know how much it is going to hurt.”
Cade looked at her for several moments, trying to gather his wits about him. He hadn’t been able to feel a lover’s embrace with her because of his damned leg? That was what had stopped him from enjoying her sweet, sweet nectar? He wished he had the strength to throw a chair across the room.
“I’m sorry, Olivia. You deserved so much more. So much more. I’ve let you down.”
She pressed a hand to his forehead and frowned. “You’re burning with fever. I don’t know how I didn’t notice it before. It certainly explains a lot.” Her eyes moved back up to his. “I’ve got to clean your wound, and this time I’m going to cauterize it instead of just using the alcohol. It should help prevent the infection from coming back.”
Cade closed his eyes and nodded. The room was starting to spin again. Her touch was, as always, gentle on him as she cleaned his wound. The pain had him grinding his teeth and his fists clutching the blanket that had been set to the side. He was covered in sweat and yet shivering. He wished he could travel back in time to just thirty minutes ago when he had been exploring Olivia’s exquisite body.
It took her a long time to clean out the infection. And he could tell by the frown on her face she didn’t like what she was seeing. But the worst was yet to come. She took the fire poker out of the hearth and approached him, the tip of the poker glowing red hot.
“Do you want a piece of leather to bite down on?” she asked, hesitating before she placed the poker on him.
Sweat rolled down his face and he shook his head no. He didn’t need leather, he needed divine mercy. Sighing heavily, her jaw clenched, she pressed the poker to his wound. He heard a low, guttural groan that sounded like it came from far, far away and the room spun rapidly around him before he fell into a terribly dark and painful hole.
Chapter Ten
Olivia gave up on preparing a delicious breakfast for Cade. Instead, she was focused on making sure he was still alive at the end of the day.
She hadn’t slept all night as she sat at his bedside, pressing cool cloths to his fevered forehead. He moved restlessly and muttered in his sleep, but she couldn’t make out anything that he said. The fever was worse than it had been before and, from what she could tell from the infection, he was in for one hell of a ride.
How could she have missed it? She had been tending to him for days now, and there was no excuse for her to have let this slip past her attention. If he died, it was purely her fault.
She surmised that he had developed the fever gradually and the journey had only made it worse faster. The infection had developed under a thin layer of skin that had begun to grow back. She was grateful that he passed out, because she had to cut away that layer of skin to give exposure to his infection and wound. One pass with the poker had not been enough. She had discovered further infection once she removed the skin, and as soon as she was finished she placed the hot iron poker into his flesh, cauterizing the wound.
He had moaned in his sleep, but otherwise seemed oblivious to all that she was doing. As he slept, she made a poultice using some of the herbs that Angie had made sure to pack for her and she smoothed it over his wound, then carefully wrapped it snuggly, hoping the skin would begin to grow together again, but this time without the infection.
The rest of the night she sat with him, fussing over him, and worrying. She wouldn’t let him die. She couldn’t let him die. And as she sat with him, her own face flamed as she remembered the way she had let him touch her, the things he had made her feel. She had never imagined such things could be done, or that such sensations could be created from a simple caress.
As morning began to dawn, Cade began to mutter loudly and became even more restless. “Bella!” he cried out suddenly, making Olivia jump. “No. No. No!” He began to thrash on the bed and Olivia tried to hold him still, afraid that he would undo the bandage around his leg.
“Cade,” she said calmly, then more firmly, “Cade!”
His movements slowed, but he continued to mutter, and repeated the name Bella several times. Then his motions calmed altogether and he fell back to into a restless sleep, his breathing ragged.
Olivia was shaking as she pulled away from him. Her mind was racing with questions. Who was Bella? Obviously someone very important to him. Had she completely misjudged him? Had she just lay in bed with a married man?
After two days of battling Cade’s fever and the infection, Olivia was completely exhausted. She had dozed lightly off and on, but true sleep had eluded her as she tended to Cade. And, she couldn’t lie to herself, she had been distraught about the woman’s name he had called out so urgently. He had continued to whisper her name from time to time and, each time he did, Olivia’s heart clenched.
Bella had to be his wife, or his lover. She was obviously very important for him to dream of her so much. Which meant her actions with him were beyond inappropriate. She had nearly made love to a man whose heart already belonged to someone else.
What would it be like to be loved that intensely? She had witnessed the love and joy that Angie shared with Lorenzo. The two of them could look each other in the eye and know exactly what the other was thinking. Whenever they had the chance, they would touch, even if it was as simple as his hand brushing against hers as they passed each other.
It was something Olivia would never have. She knew without a doubt that she was going to die an old maid—she had already resigned herself to the fact. She was too afraid she would marry a man that turned out to be as vicious as the boys that had abused her. She had thought she was in love with the officer’s nephew. And it all had been a ruse to humiliate her and disgrace her. She couldn’t allow herself to be open to that kind of pain again.
The feel of his knuckles gently caressing her face jolted her out of the light doze she had drifted into while sitting at his bedside. Her eyes snapped open and he gazed back at her, his eyes free of fever. Without thinking, she caught his hand and held it to her cheek, then slowly released it as she remembered she wasn’t the woman in his life that he needed and wanted.
“Here.” She held a glass of water to his lips and cradled his head gently as he took several long sips from the glass. When she pulled it away from him, his eyes were watching her intently, his gaze so strong she felt he could see right through her, all the way to her aching soul.
“I don’t remember much.” He spoke softly, as though disturbing the sound of the hiss and crack of the fire was too intrusive. “What I do remember surely must have been a dream.”
Olivia pulled her eyes away from his with difficulty and focused on smoothing her apron that she had donned earlier. “The infection returned to your leg,” she spoke just as softly.
“Yes, but before that. What we had... what we did... was that real? Or was it a creation of my fever?”
Olivia could feel blood rushing to her face, and she wanted to cover it with her apron and sob into it. Yes, it had been real. To her. But to him she had been a convenient woman to use to soothe his desires. And, once she had healed him, he would leave her for Bella.
“Yes, what you remember did happen,” she said stiffly, still avoiding eye contact. “But it was a complete mistake. I regret my actions greatly.”
One of his eyebrows arched in question. “Did I hurt you? Did I frighten you?”
Olivia remembered his hands on her flesh, one hand sliding over the delicate skin of her thigh, touching her as though he had never touched a woman’s flesh. And the other hand had been gently massaging her breast, then plucking her nipples until the ache within her had been nearly painful.
Deep inside her lower stomach, her muscles clenched, and her nipples hardened, craving his touch once again. A sweet ache burned within her, and it was everyth
ing she could do not to breathe rapidly with the desire washing over her.
She stood suddenly and went to the hearth, prepping the area to make him some tortillas. She couldn’t be near him. Not when she was reminded of things she had never thought could happen between a man and a woman. She had to collect her wits and stop behaving so foolish around him.
“You didn’t answer my question, Olivia.” While his tone was soft, it left no doubt that he expected an answer.
“It was highly inappropriate. It-it...” Her mind searched for words but nothing could come to mind.
How could something feel so right and be so wrong? Because he is devoted to another woman! You are not going to have an affair with a potentially married man!
“It was incredible,” he said, “and I wouldn’t have done anything different.”
His words pulled at her, and she so desperately wanted to believe in him. But she couldn’t get Bella out of her mind. She pictured a gorgeous full-bodied young woman with long, softly curled black hair. Subconsciously she touched her own hair that was pulled back into the severe bun at the nape of her neck, then brushed her hand over her collarbone. She was thin, though not without soft curves. But his hands were made to hold the body of a woman with abundance to offer.
She remembered his hand in her hair, remembered his strong fingers caressing her scalp as he pulled her closer to him. She shook her head at herself and fought back the tears. She had been an absolute fool. She had wanted to think he desired and craved her. Yet he craved another, and she was just a poor substitute to take her place until he could get back to his beloved Bella.
She flipped the tortillas on the griddle over the fire. “Yes,” she agreed reluctantly, knowing he wouldn’t let the issue go until he had an answer from her. “It was incredible.”
Texas Desire Page 10
