Texas Desire

by Holly Castillo

  “No, now, you out of those wet clothes.”

  Before she could protest or stop him, he had unfastened the tie around her waist and lifted the apron off of her. “No, please, stop!” She tried to grab the apron, but he was too fast. And she stood before him with her ripped bodice, her breasts bared to see.

  Cade’s felt the blood drain from his face, then slowly flushed with anger. “What happened to you? Who did this? Who did this?”

  Olivia appeared on the verge of tears. He could only imagine what she felt, and she had been carrying the burden on her shoulders the entire time she unloaded the wagon, when instead, he should have been tending to her. But he had no way of knowing.

  “Please, Cade, just go back to bed. I’ll change.”

  “Are you hurt? What happened?”

  With a strength that surprised even him, he guided her to the bed so he could sit down and take the ache away from his leg.

  He sat on the edge of the bed and reached for her and noticed his hands were trembling. Whether it was his rage, his fear of what had been done to her, or both, he didn’t know. He briefly clenched his hands into fists, then reached for her again. Slowly he began to unhook the rest of her bodice and her hands covered his dark, calloused ones.

  He took a steadying breath, ready for her to push him away as he looked up at her. But instead, silent tears of gratitude slid down her cheeks and she smiled lightly at him. He returned the smile, though it was difficult. The entire reason she was in this position was because of him.

  He returned his focus to his hands, but she didn’t remove hers, just let them move with him as he slipped her wet dress off of her, then gradually every single other layer until she stood before him naked.

  His heart was thundering in his ears as he looked at her standing before him in the firelight, her glorious body his to admire. But she had just gone through hell, and he couldn’t look at her with the passion he normally did. Instead he looked at her as a man that wanted to know what had been done to his sweet angel.

  There were multiple bruises, all over her breasts, bruises made by a man squeezing hard enough to the point of pain. And the bruises didn’t stop there. She had several more on her collarbone and all up and down her arms, especially her upper arms and wrists.

  “Where else?” he asked hoarsely. “Where else did this filth touch you?”

  He was already turning her around before she could get a protest out, and he sucked in a deep breath. The welts on her backside, clearly displaying a large handprint made him so angry he nearly smashed the nightstand near the bed.

  He turned her back to face him when he’d finished his inspection of her and she had silent tears slipping down her cheeks. “Who did this to you, angel? Who did this?”

  She kneeled down on the floor next to him on the bed and looked up at him, shaking her head. “I don’t know. It was three from the Mexican Army. One of them was an officer.”

  Cade felt helpless. What could he do to make her feel better? What would be the appropriate thing to say to her?

  She glanced up at him and shook her head. “Please, the last thing I need is pity. Save that for someone else.” She stood quickly and went to the nicely carved dresser and pulled out a simple white sleeping gown. She pulled it over her head quickly.

  “Are you hungry?” Her voice wobbled, and she swallowed hard.

  “No,” he replied softly. She stood near the bed, and he reached out and caught her hand. “You have no reason to be embarrassed in front of me, Olivia. You have experienced more than I could ever imagine. All that we’ve both been through the last few weeks should more than tell you that you can be true to yourself around me.”

  “It was nothing. Truly, I don’t wish to dwell on it any further.” She spoke quickly, her words nearly tripping over themselves.

  Cade sighed heavily, and slowly released her hand. “I only want to help you, angel. You’ve helped me with so much.”

  “I could use some brandy,” Olivia proclaimed, surprising Cade. “Could you?”

  “Yes, I could certainly use some.”

  Olivia went to the pantry and pulled out a bottle of brandy and searched the cupboards for glasses. Soon a large dosage of the liquor was handed over to Cade in a glass that threatened to slosh over. She went to the other side of the bed and carefully climbed in, telling Cade how sensitive her rear must be at that moment, and his anger flared again.

  She poured herself a large portion of brandy, then set the bottle on the floor. She stared into her drink for several long moments before suddenly chugging it back in two large gulps. She squeezed her eyes tight and sucked in her cheeks, before letting out a soft gasp and reaching for the bottle.

  She had chugged back another before Cade had even finished half of his. She was beginning to pour her third when he pulled the bottle away from her and set it down on his side of the bed. She frowned deeply at him.

  “I’ll have you know I can drink more than most grown men,” she said with determination. “So you can give me back that bottle.”

  “Not until you tell me what happened to you tonight,” he said, ignoring the perturbed expression on her face.

  “I don’t want to think about it, Cade. I don’t want to remember it. So, please... give me the damned bottle.”

  He could tell she was barely keeping herself together. But he wouldn’t let her drink herself to oblivion in order to forget what had happened to her. He had tried to do that when he had been at her home, and it had done nothing but increase his anger and his sorrow.

  “You need to talk about it, angel. If you don’t, it will eat you from the inside. Believe me, I know.”

  Olivia shook her head in disagreement and for several long moments she stared blankly into her empty glass. Cade was patient, though, knowing she would say something soon enough. She had to. He didn’t want to think of the way she would be if she kept it bottled up inside. She would become even more of a recluse, even more cold, same as she had when she was nearly raped at the age of fifteen. She would build an even stronger wall around her heart.

  It was after a long silence, punctuated only by the sound of the logs in the fire popping and crackling, that she finally spoke. “They were too fast for the mule to outrun them. I could hear the hoofbeats of one soldier riding up behind me. I had no idea there were three of them.” She shook her head again, still staring into the glass as if it held answers to questions only she knew. “I suddenly felt like I had when I was fifteen—helpless and scared.”

  Cade reached over and smoothed a piece of her hair out of her face. He wanted her to know he was there to comfort her, to support her, and in no way would he judge her. She still wouldn’t look at him, though. She continued staring into her empty glass, her eyes vacant as she remembered.

  “There were three of them. The officer was the one that came up and forced the wagon to stop, and then another soldier grabbed me from the wagon.” She frowned and touched the top of her head and winced. “And someone was pulling my hair. I don’t know who it was—probably the officer, but everything was happening so fast.”

  She fell silent again for several long moments, but Cade was patient. But he wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear the rest. From the marks on her body, he was quite certain she had been raped. And if she confirmed that as being true... Rage already filled him and he felt completely inept. He was tired of innocent lives being hurt because of him.

  “I tried to get away. And I was partly successful.” She looked down at her hand and Cade saw there were bruises on her knuckles and smiled to himself. She probably didn’t pack much of a wallop, but she had tried, and somehow that made him proud.

  “I had forgotten about the third man, and he stopped me.” This time her fingers lightly touched her jaw and she flinched and he could see the bruises that were starting to show up on her beautiful skin. He clenched his hand into a fist, but he said nothing.

  “That’s when they decided they’d played long enough and, well...” She cleared h
er throat, and he could tell it was coming to the point she didn’t want to talk about. His stomach clenched with fear as she continued to speak.

  “The officer flipped me over the back of the wagon and began to spank me so hard. It was humiliating and painful. But what was worse was that I could hear the other men unfastening their britches. I knew what was about to come.

  “But his vicious spanking was actually a good thing. Because his actions were so rough, he pushed me further into the wagon. Far enough that I was able to grab my shotgun.”

  Cade’s mind was suddenly trying to process this new information. She took a deep breath and glanced over at him. “I could use another shot of brandy, if you don’t mind.”

  He was still trying to comprehend what she was telling him as he poured a shot of brandy into her glass. She had tossed it back and finished it before he had even set the bottle back down. Again, only staring at the empty glass, she continued.

  “I turned on the officer with the shotgun aimed at his—his most prized possession, I guess you could say. At first he was going to try and call my bluff, but when I cocked the shotgun, all of them became real serious. I took their guns and their horses and left. I had to fire the gun once when the officer tried to stand up, but he didn’t make that mistake again.”

  For the first time since she had started her story, she looked at Cade. “I was so scared. They were so strong, and they showed that they didn’t care what they had to do to get at me.”

  Relief had washed over Cade so strongly his world spun for a few moments. They hadn’t raped her. She hadn’t gone through the violent attack on her innocence.

  “You defeated three Mexican soldiers entirely on your own, Olivia. I don’t know of other women who could say the same.”

  She returned her stare into the empty glass, and he didn’t know what thoughts were running through her head.

  Finally, she turned to look at him, tears in her eyes and a wobbly smile. “I did defeat three soldiers, didn’t I?”

  Cade reached for her and smoothed the tears from her eyes. “I know they scared you. And I know what they did to you... the way they touched you...” Anger began to build in him once again and he drew a deep breath. “In spite of all that, in spite of your terror from when you were so young, you were able to stay calm enough to stop them. Don’t you realize how amazing you are? But this has to stop. I can’t stand by and have you at this risk anymore. I’ll go to town with you from now on.”

  “How can you? You’ll be recognized by the army right away. You must stay hidden.”

  “I have to help you, Olivia.”

  Olivia lowered her lashes and her hands caught his. Slowly she looked up at him and smiled weakly. “I didn’t think I was going to survive. I’ve heard what they do to some of their female captives. That makes me far from amazing—I was terrified.”

  “You fought. Even though you were scared—you fought. That makes you brave and amazing in my book.”

  Her eyes searched his. “I’ve never—You are the only man who has ever seen me naked. And yet it felt so right. I didn’t even hesitate. I’ve lived my life by such strict rules and guides for so long—why am I changing? Why am I suddenly comfortable sleeping next to a man I barely know? Why am I comfortable with you touching me in ways I never imagined?”

  Cade didn’t know how to answer her. He had noticed the way she had been gradually relaxing around him, the way she was becoming more comfortable with him. But it had been a huge step for her to stand before him as he had disrobed her and gazed upon her nude body.

  “I don’t know,” he replied honestly. “You know I will never hurt you or make you do something you don’t want. Perhaps that is why? Dear God, Olivia, I’m just so grateful...” He gathered her to him, holding her gently. “I was so very afraid they had raped you. Or worse. Before you arrived, I feared I might not ever see you again.” Her fresh linen nightgown mingled with the aroma of her rain-washed body, and it was a scent that was pure Olivia—the smell of a new spring morning with dew still clinging to the ground. It was the most intoxicating scent he had ever smelled.

  Olivia sank into Cade’s embrace gratefully. His warmth touched her all over, even inside, and her heart thundered. What was it about this man’s touch that caused such feelings? She never wanted to be out of his arms. She never wanted to be anywhere other than with him. Which was a foolish notion, because he would leave her as soon as he was healed. But she vowed to enjoy every moment until then.

  And it was in those moments, being held in his warm, caring arms, that a plan began to hatch in her mind, a plan that would most likely get her killed. But it could be the only way Cade would ever be united with his daughter again.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The sounds of gunfire and men screaming in pain were all around her. She couldn’t get her bearing through all of the smoke that clung to the air. She spun around as different sounds exploded around her.

  The smoke finally cleared slightly, and she could finally see around her, though not far. But it was far enough that she could see the Mexican soldiers advancing rapidly. She suddenly realized she held a shotgun in her hands, and she fired, the jolt of the butt of the gun kicking into her shoulder painfully hard.

  She saw a man fall, clutching at his gut as blood spewed forth, but she couldn’t tell if that was her gunshot or one of the soldiers around her that had given him a death blow. She checked her gun and was relieved to see that she had one more shot left and she squared off again, facing the enemy as they advanced.

  But before she could get a shot off, a cannon exploded nearby and she went flying through the air, landing hard on the cold, icy ground. She gasped for air as the wind had been knocked out of her, but everything else seemed to be intact.

  She began to sit up when she saw him. The enemy was charging towards her, his bayonet held at just the right angle to pierce through her heart. As if it had suddenly become natural for her, she lifted her shotgun and fired, paying no attention to the pain in her shoulder this time. The man crumbled, his white soldier’s uniform turning crimson at the chest, his eyes staring at her in surprise, before falling face-first to the ground.

  She was proud of herself, yet at the same time wanted to throw up. She had just taken a man’s life. But if she hadn’t taken his, he would have taken hers. As if viewing herself from a distance, she reloaded quickly, aimed, fired, and went through the motions all over again for several minutes.

  But the enemy was good. And they had so many more men. She was reloading as one of them charged her, and she fumbled to get the gun locked and cocked. The soldier lunged towards her with his bayonet just as she fired her shotgun.

  He fell forward on top of her, and she saw his face, smudged with gun powder. But that didn’t hide the fact that he was practically still a child, probably no more than fifteen years of age, if that.

  He looked at her quizzically as his blood drained out of him. “Why?” he rasped, and blood began to drip from his lips. “Why does it hurt so much?”

  Oh, dear God! She had to help him. She had to ease his pain somehow, even if he was the enemy. But suddenly there seemed to be blood everywhere, and the harder she tried to get away from it, the more there was, until she was covered in blood, completely soaked. And the boy’s face, now so pale his skin looked translucent, still hovered above her, his eyes probing into hers, as he again whispered, “Why?”

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please, God, oh, please...”

  “Olivia.” The deep, warm voice was soothing, and she wondered if God had heard her desperate plea. But the boy was still there, but now it was obvious he was dead, his body becoming completely lifeless, and yet his eyes still stared down at her.

  “Olivia.” The voice called again, but she didn’t want to hear it.

  She needed to hide; she had to get away from the battle. She felt the shotgun in her hands and wondered if she’d ever be able to use it again.

  “Olivia!” This time the voice was insistent,
and the images surrounding her began to fade slowly. “Olivia!” The blood and the dead boy disappeared, and she was suddenly warm and clear of blood... and awake.

  She opened her eyes slowly, realizing gradually that she was shaking violently, and gripped the blankets covering her tightly. As the dream lost its hold on her, she suddenly realized Cade hovered over her, his eyebrows pulled together in confusion and concern.

  She felt as though she had a scream trapped in her throat, and she tried desperately to compose herself. Subconsciously, she smoothed her hair over her damaged ear that throbbed and ached, reminding her that the dream wasn’t just a dream.

  “Cade... what is it? Is it your leg?”

  He frowned at her. “You know damned well it isn’t my leg. You were having a nightmare, Olivia. A terrible one from the way you were acting.”

  “Oh,” Olivia fumbled for words. “I-I don’t usually dream. That’s very odd. I’m sorry to have woken you. Please, go back to sleep.”

  She was still shaking, but it wasn’t as violent as it had been when she first woke up. And she was gradually becoming aware of her immediate surroundings. Cade had moved from his designated side of the bed, something they had agreed upon in order for her to feel comfortable enough to sleep in the same bed as a man. Now he was on her side of the bed, his body pressed alongside hers and he was propped up with an arm on each side of her, leaning over her.

  He lifted one of his hands and smoothed her hair back away from her forehead. “Tell me about it, angel. A dream that violent is agonizing to live with.”

  Olivia realized her hair had come free of the braid she had tied, and it was only a matter of time before he saw her ear. But something he said grabbed her attention. “How do you know it was violent?”

  He gave her a soft smile. “Because you were fighting me in your sleep. I tried to hold your arms down so you wouldn’t hurt yourself or me, and you tossed around so hard that I could barely hold you still.”