Shattered Heart: The Donnellys, Book 3

by Dorothy F. Shaw

  Shane blurted a laugh. “Now that’s a game I don’t mind being tied in.”

  What if the sex had become a distraction for her? Some subconcious-mind kind of bullshit she was unaware she was pulling to avoid dealing with the Carlos issue?

  Maybe she was in trouble. Maybe Shane and everyone else were right, and she needed to deal with what had happened with a professional. Anxiety crawled up the back of her throat and Cyn swallowed it down. She could barely consider the idea without wanting to vomit.

  Screw this. If the sex was serving as a distraction, she’d take it. She leaned across the center console, licked a line up his neck to his ear and cupped his balls through his jeans. Shane tangled his fingers in her hair, groaning as she pressed her palm against the bulge she felt growing behind his zipper. “I want you in my mouth right now.”

  “Gonna be the death of me, girl.”

  Cyn tugged open the button on his pants and slid her hand inside. “Always so hard for me.” She nipped his earlobe and fisted his shaft in her palm.

  He groaned and thrust his hips up, and his length slid through her grip. “Fuck…as much as I want you to keep doing that, you need to stop because, hello, California drivers, and we’re almost to Ryan and Maiya’s.”

  “Boo hiss.” Cyn pouted, but stroked him once more for good measure. “Guess I’ll just have to wait.” She pulled away, sliding her hand free, but stroking him slowly as she did.

  “Come on now. I’m fine with you being the death of me, but not literally.” He smiled, tugged her close again, and kissed her.

  “Killjoy.” She giggled.

  “Yeah, that’s me.”

  And just like that, the tension between them evaporated…at least until he annoyed her again. It didn’t escape Cyn’s notice that it was because of the sex. But whatever, lost mind or not, it was what it was. Not like she was running around screwing anything with a pulse. Cyn had no interest in that. She was only like this with Shane. They had good sex. They had incredible chemistry. Outside of that, she wasn’t sure what they had…because they weren’t supposed to have anything! Because he wasn’t supposed to still be in L.A.!

  Ugh! And hello whiplash, Cyn was annoyed. Again.

  * * * * *

  Shane sat in a chaise lounge on Ryan and Maiya’s back deck. Cyn was positioned between his legs, her back resting against his chest. He had his arms around her waist, enjoying the feel of her petite body snugged up close to him.

  Maiya was on the other chaise smoking, and Ryan sat on the edge, her feet in his lap while he rubbed them. Angie was across from them in one of the regular deck chairs. They were having great conversation—all talking, about anything and everything, and sometimes over the top of one another.

  But not his girl. Cyn was quiet, her head on Shane’s chest as he held her.

  “I dare you, Ryan. I dare you to do that shit at Mom and Dad’s and see what happens.” Angie laughed.

  “No way. I am no fool. Mary’ll come after me with a frying pan! You do it.”

  Maiya laughed. “I dare you both to do it. Tell you what though, that’s something I’d pay money to see. However, I’ll be hiding around the corner and watching from a safe distance.”

  “That’s because you’re a smart woman.” Angie raised her beer to Maiya. “Ryan, how did you land such a smart woman?”

  “Pfft, easy. My good looks and charming personality.”

  Shane laughed and Maiya blew out a cloud of smoke with a cough. “No, baby. It was the khakis. They did me in.”

  “Was that it? Just the khakis?” He tickled her foot.

  “Hayhayhayyyy!” Maiya jerked her foot away. “None of that!” She laughed. “’Bout to get yourself kicked, Mr. Donnelly.”

  Angie clapped her hands. “Get him, Maiya!”

  “She’s all talk.” Ryan pulled his giggling wife close and kissed her. “You’re not gonna kick me, Mrs. Donnelly.”

  Maiya wrapped her arms around her husband’s neck and rubbed her nose over his.

  “Ugh, you two are beyond cute.” Cyn smoothed her hands down Shane’s thighs.

  Shane kissed her cheek. “Agreed.”

  “It’s almost gross.” Angie tipped her beer back.

  Maiya peeked around Ryan to Angie. “Do you need a bucket, Miss Thang?”

  Angie let out a loud burp and then laughed. “Nah, I’m good.”

  “Well, that was pretty! Thank God you didn’t bring a date tonight.” Ryan straightened and went back to rubbing Maiya’s feet.

  “Thanks!” Angie crossed one leg over the other. “Off the market at present moment.”

  Cyn shifted and sat up. “You met someone?”

  “Hell no, I didn’t meet someone. I’m still doing your ‘stay single for a year’ thing.” Angie shrugged. “You’re not, like we agreed to obviously, but I figure what the hell. I may as well see how it goes.”

  “What ‘stay single for a year’ thing is that?” Shane asked.

  Cyn stiffened and glanced over her shoulder at him. “Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing.”

  Angie visibly cringed. “Ignore me, Shane. It’s just the beer talking.”

  Maiya had gone silent, staring straight ahead. Shane looked over at Ryan but he looked just as confused as Shane was. Shane looked back to Angie and she shrugged. He shook his head. “Wait…what’d I miss? Did we just enter the Twilight Zone or something?”

  Cyn sighed. “And that would be the cue that it’s time for me to leave.” She got to her feet. “You ready?”

  What the hell? That was all far too strange. Clearly she was keeping something from him and he intended to find out what it was. He stared at her, and realized Cyn didn’t give a shit one way or the other if he was ready to go. Nor did she give a shit if he knew what the hell she was talking about.

  Agitation flared hot in his blood stream. He’d been damn patient with her, dealt with her mood swings and her mouthy temper tantrums, and verbal abuse pretty fucking well over the last two weeks. But there was no fucking way he was going to deal with her keeping secrets from him. Just wasn’t going to happen.

  Shane got to his feet. “If you’re ready to go, then we can go. But this conversation isn’t over.” Shane stepped away from her to Ryan and Maiya. “Thank you both for the awesome dinner, I had a great time.”

  “You’re welcome. Happy to have you both over,” Maiya said.

  Ryan stood and shook his hand and pulled him into an embrace. “Anytime, man. You know you’re always welcome here.” When Ryan let Shane go, he clapped him on the shoulder and nodded. “Any time.”

  “Appreciate it.” He moved to Angie and bent to kiss her cheek. “As always, good to see you, Angie.”

  “You too, Shane.” She frowned and mouthed an “I’m sorry” to him. He shook his head, and gave her a “no big deal” expression. Whatever Angie had let slide, she sure hadn’t done it with malicious intent. He turned to see Cyn making her way into the house. “Okay, then. Guess we’re going.” He shrugged and followed after her.

  And once again, he buckled up to continue on the roller coaster named Cyn Donnelly. Yes, he’d always loved the excitement of the twists and turns, and the big drops down the hills, and even the loops, but he was starting to feel pretty beat up and beyond worn out.

  Cyn needed to go to therapy and face the bubbling sea of shit she was carrying around. If she didn’t, Shane would have no choice but to walk away from her.

  It broke his heart even thinking about it, but he was starting to wonder if that particular fate—the loss of what he’d found with her—was unavoidable.

  Cyn sat in silence on the drive back to her house. The dead air continued once they’d gotten into her house and even after she’d taken a shower and dressed in her pajamas. Only once she was settled on a lounger on the back patio, mug of hot tea in her hands, did it come to an end.

>   Shane took a seat in the lounger beside her. “I want to talk about what happened at your brother’s.”

  “Well, I don’t. How about we talk about when you’re going home instead.”

  Shane jerked back in the chair as though she’d slapped him. “You really want me to go home?”

  Cyn shrugged and stared out to the pool and the darkness of the backyard. If he stayed, she’d deal. If he didn’t, she’d deal. Either way, she was good. “It doesn’t matter.”

  “Cyn, it fucking matters.”

  She really did not want to do this with him. Any of it. She was too tired, too emotional and too…fine. “Then I guess it matters to you.”

  “Damn right it matters to me. I care about you. I’m worried about you. Christ, you won’t even sit in your own living room for fuck’s sake.”

  “Why do you care if I sit in my living room or not? Big fucking deal!”

  “You are not fine, Cyn.” He leaned forward bracing his elbows on his knees. “You refuse to talk about the attack. With anyone.”

  “So what? Why can’t you leave me alone about it? Why do you have to keep bugging me, harping on me constantly? I’m fucking fin—” Cyn groaned and pressed her lips together, knowing exactly what he’d say next.

  He let out a sigh and ran his hand over his head. “Exactly.”

  “Yeah, sure. ‘Fucked-Up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional’, right? Fuck you, Shane.”

  “Fuck me? Sure. Anytime, Cyn.” He stood. “But while you’re fucking me, you need to see a counselor. You need to talk about it until it’s not so big in your head. You need to work this shit out until it’s straight again, Cyn. If you don’t it’s gonna eat you from the inside out. It already is.”

  White-hot rage seared through her veins. Fuck him, she did not need a counselor. Cyn got to her feet, and with her hands propped on her hips, she stepped up to him. Cursing how short she was, Cyn craned her neck back and glared up at him. “What I need is for you to leave me the fuck alone about it. Which obviously you can’t seem to understand, leading me back to my first question: When. Are. You. Going. Home!”

  He glared right back and the muscle in his jawline twitched. He had damn near a foot of height on her, but it didn’t matter. She was pissed with no intention of backing down. He needed to get this through his big meathead skull of his. Cyn was well aware of the fact that she’d been on edge, a lot. But truly it was because no one would leave her alone about the attack or her mood or if she was okay…blah blah blah. If they’d back the hell off, she’d be just fucking fi— Ugh!

  Shane sighed through his nose and then cleared his throat. “I’ll go home after you have your first session.”

  “Are you fucking nuts!”

  “Maybe, but that’s not really the concern right now.” His voice had gone low, sounding deep and gravelly.

  Cyn tried to ignore how the sound rippled over her. She did not need to be getting all horned up right then. What she needed was to stand her ground. She licked her lips, and his eyes followed the movement of her tongue. A bolt of lust hit her straight between her legs. Goddammit! Standing so close, his scent rolled through her and Cyn barely suppressed a moan. “Well I guess you’re not leaving because I already told you, I’m not seeing a counselor.”

  Shane tilted his head to the side. “Guess not then.”

  He took a breath and her breasts grazed his lower chest. Fuck! “You have to go, Shane.”

  “Why, Cyn? Tell me why I have to go.” He stepped closer and Cyn’s breasts pressed into him.

  She didn’t want to tell him about the moratorium or the reasons behind it. She didn’t want to tell him anything. The idea of letting him into the dark corners of her heart and mind—the places only she visited as of late—and sharing her fears and insecurities made Cyn want to run as fast as she could in the opposite direction.

  He’d know her weaknesses and flaws, and he’d use them against her. Cyn couldn’t be that vulnerable with him…or anyone for that matter. She breathed deep, her chest rising, forcing her breasts tighter against him. Her nipples peaked into hard points beneath her shirt. Jesus, this is insane. “Because I just need to you to.”

  “Need, huh?” Shane placed his hands on her upper arms and bent to her ear. “When you’re taking my prick deep inside your pussy, you don’t need me to go. What you need then is for me to fuck you harder.”

  Cyn shivered and a gasp escaped before she had a chance to stop it. Anger, mixed with hot lust, swamped her senses—a crazy dangerous combination. Curse her body for betraying her in this way. It was as if she was a prisoner to her vagina. And only his dick was the key.

  A sweaty round of hate sex was exactly where this little argument between them was heading—but considering her little bone of awareness in the car earlier that night, maybe sex wasn’t the best idea. “I’m not discussing this.”

  His hands flexed on her arms, but he didn’t let her go. “Tell me what happened at your brother’s, Cyn. If it affects us, I need to know. If it’s the reason you’re so eager for me to leave, I need to know that too.”

  “Why? God, why can’t you just leave it be? Why do you have to push? Always!” She pressed her hands against his chest, trying to shove him away, but of course all six-foot-three, two hundred and thirty pounds of him wouldn’t budge. “Fucking hell, Shane!”

  “I’ve had about enough of you yelling at me.”

  Before Cyn realized what was happening, Shane picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder. She wiggled, swatting at his ass as he walked them into the house. “Put me down! Goddammit, Shane! I will not be manhandled by you!”

  CRACK! His palm landed on her ass cheek and Cyn squealed. She craned her neck to the side and bit into the side of his back.

  “Yee-ouch! Dammit, Cyn, that hurt!”

  He slapped her ass again and she lost her breath on a yell as arousal pumped through her. Shit. “Put me down, Shane!”

  He bent forward and Cyn fell back onto her mattress. “As you wish.”

  “Sonofabitch!” She went to sit up and he shoved her back down. “Goddammit, Shane!”

  Shane came over her, his chest heaving with his breaths. He poised above her, resting his weight on both of his arms on either side of her. “I do not want to fight with you, Cynthia!”

  “For someone who doesn’t want to fight, you do a stellar job of pissing me off on a regular basis.”

  He gazed down at her, his expression hard and determined. He smoothed her hair away from her eyes. “Don’t you get it?”

  “Don’t you?” she whispered as she focused on his mouth. Goddammit, this was too much. Her heart raced, pounding in her ears as lust spread through her like warm honey. A moment stretched between them in the silence, and he bent his head and tried to kiss her. Hating that all she wanted to do was kiss him back, instead Cyn bit his bottom lip and dragged her nails down his back.

  Shane growled and threaded his fingers into her hair, tugging her head back. At the same time, she spread her legs and he settled between them. Cyn curled her legs around his hips and he ground the erection behind his jeans against her center. She couldn’t fight this anymore, and she didn’t want to. If sex with Shane was what was carrying her through, then fuck it, she’d go with it. She already hated herself, she may as well add a little more to the pile. With a whimper, Cyn sucked his bottom lip, then took his tongue inside her mouth.

  As the kiss grew frantic, so did Cyn. She needed his skin against hers. She needed his pants off. She just fucking needed him. Now. Shane broke from her lips and moved his mouth down to her neck. Cyn tugged at his shirt. “Shane! Please…I need you.”

  “Told you.” He smoothed his hand down her side to her hip and onto her ass.

  “Fucker! Ugh!” Cyn bit his shoulder hard. When he growled and gripped her ass, she pulled away. “Just shut up and fuck me, please.”

  H
e rose off of her. “Like it better when you ask nice.”

  She sat up, and pulled open the top button of his jeans. “Tough. I’m still pissed at you.” And herself. After getting his pants undone, Cyn yanked them down his hips and gripped his length in her palm. In the next second she had the swollen head sucked between her lips. A moan laced with pure satisfaction vibrated in her throat when his taste hit her and Cyn’s head spun.

  Shane drew in a harsh breath. “Watch those teeth, girl! Fucking hell, your mouth is…”

  Cyn moaned and took him deeper, twirling her tongue around the bulbous head as more pre-ejaculate coated her tongue. Shane pulled away, and yanked her shirt over her head. She glared up at him. “I wasn’t done!”

  “Oh yeah, you’re done.” He flipped her over, and yanked her sweats down. “Fuck me, your ass is still bright red from my palm.” He smoothed his hand over her bottom. “Thinking I need to make it glow brighter.”

  “Shane…” She wiggled. “Either fuck me or let me keep sucking your dick. Just shut the fuck up and do something.” As if in a state of madness, fury pulsed through her, racing in time with her arousal. Her clit pulsed and her channel ached to be filled. She was tired of playing around. She needed to be filled by him, one way or another. And she was tired of waiting. He grabbed both of her arms and yanked them behind her back. “Shane, dammit! I’m serious!”

  And then she felt him grip both of her wrists in one hand and—

  CRACK! CRACK! “Tell me to shut up again!”

  Cyn’s head shot up. “Fuck you!”

  CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! “That mouth of yours. Gonna gag you if you don’t learn how to use it nicely.” CRACK! CRACK!

  Oh God! With each blow Shane landed, her clit pulsed harder and she felt her arousal run down her thighs. Cyn gasped and then let out a deep moan. CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! Her ass stung to the point of mindless pleasure. Overcome and lost in the haze of her arousal, Cyn’s eyes glazed over and she pressed her forehead to the pillow.

  Shane ran his fingers through her folds and growled. “Sopping sloppy wet for me.” He bent over her. “You like that full ass of yours spanked, don’t you? It’s all nice and bright red now. You want more?”