Collected Stories 1 - The Short Happy Life of the Brown Oxford and Other Classic Stories

by Philip K. Dick

  "When we get back home we can agitate for a mission to come here," Tance said. "All this can be loaded up and taken back. We'll be leaving about--"

  He stopped.

  "Yes," Doric said dryly. "We'll be leaving about three day-periods from now. We'll fix the ship, then take off. Soon we'll be home, that is, if nothing happens. Like being shot down by that--"

  "Oh, stop it," Nasha said impatiently. "Leave him alone. He's right: all this must be taken back home, sooner or later. We'll have to solve the problem of the gun. We have no choice."

  Doric nodded. "What's your solution, then? As soon as we leave the ground we'll be shot down." His face twisted bitterly. "They've guarded their treasure too well. Instead of being preserved it will lie here until it rots. It serves them right."

  "How?"

  "Don't you see? This was the only way they knew, building a gun and setting it up to shoot anything that came along. They were so certain that everything was hostile, the enemy, coming to take their possessions away from them. Well, they can keep them."

  Nasha was deep in thought, her mind far away. Suddenly she gasped. "Doric," she said. "What's the matter with us? We have no problem. The gun is no menace at all."

  The two men stared at her.

  "No menace?" Doric said. "It's already shot us down once. And as soon as we take off again--"

  "Don't you see?" Nasha began to laugh. "The poor foolish gun, it's completely harmless. Even I could deal with it."

  "You?"

  Her eyes were flashing. "With a crowbar. With a hammer or a stick of wood. Let's go back to the ship and load up. Of course we're at its mercy in the air: that's the way it was made. It can fire into the sky, shoot down anything that flies. But that's all. Against something on the ground it has no defenses. Isn't that right?"

  Doric nodded slowly. "The soft underbelly of the dragon. In the legend, the dragon's armor doesn't cover its stomach." He began to laugh. "That's right. That's perfectly right."

  "Let's go, then," Nasha said. "Let's get back to the ship. We have work to do here."

  It was early the next morning when they reached the ship. During the night the Captain had died, and the crew had ignited his body, according to custom. They had stood solemnly around it until the last ember died. As they were going back to their work the woman and the two men appeared, dirty and tired, still excited.

  And presently, from the ship, a line of people came, each carrying something in his hands. The line marched across the gray slag, the eternal expanse of fused metal. When they reached the weapon they all fell on the gun at once, with crowbars, hammers, anything that was heavy and hard.

  The telescopic sights shattered into bits. The wiring was pulled out, torn to shreds. The delicate gears were smashed, dented.

  Finally the warheads themselves were carried off and the firing pins removed.

  The gun was smashed, the great weapon destroyed. The people went down into the vault and examined the treasure. With its metal-armored guardian dead there was no danger any longer. They studied the pictures, the films, the crates of books, the jeweled crowns, the cups, the statues.

  At last, as the sun was dipping into the gray mists that drifted across the planet they came back up the stairs again. For a moment they stood around the wrecked gun looking at the unmoving outline of it.

  Then they started back to the ship. There was still much work to be done. The ship had been badly hurt, much had been damaged and lost. The important thing was to repair it as quickly as possible, to get it into the air.

  With all of them working together it took just five more days to make it spaceworthy.

  Nasha stood in the control room, watching the planet fall away behind them. She folded her arms, sitting down on the edge of the table.

  "What are you thinking?" Doric said.

  "I? Nothing."

  "Are you sure?"

  "I was thinking that there must have been a time when this planet was quite different, when there was life on it."

  "I suppose there was. It's unfortunate that no ships from our system came this far, but then we had no reason to suspect intelligent life until we saw the fission glow in the sky."

  "And then it was too late."

  "Not quite too late. After all, their possessions, their music, books, their pictures, all of that will survive. We'll take them home and study them, and they'll change us. We won't be the same afterwards. Their sculpturing, especially. Did you see the one of the great winged creature, without a head or arms? Broken off, I suppose. But those wings--It looked very old. It will change us a great deal."

  "When we come back we won't find the gun waiting for us," Nasha said. "Next time it won't be there to shoot us down. We can land and take the treasure, as you call it." She smiled up at Doric. "You'll lead us back there, as a good captain should."

  "Captain?" Doric grinned. "Then you've decided."

  Nasha shrugged. "Fomar argues with me too much. I think, all in all, I really prefer you."

  "Then let's go," Doric said. "Let's go back home."

  The ship roared up, flying over the ruins of the city. It turned in a huge arc and then shot off beyond the horizon, heading into outer space.

  Down below, in the center of the ruined city, a single half-broken detector vane moved slightly, catching the roar of the ship. The base of the great gun throbbed painfully, straining to turn. After a moment, a red warning light flashed on down inside its destroyed works.

  And a long way off, a hundred miles from the city, another warning light flashed on, far underground. Automatic relays flew into action. Gears turned, belts whined. On the ground above a section of metal slag slipped back. A ramp appeared.

  A moment later a small cart rushed to the surface.

  The cart turned toward the city. A second cart appeared behind it. It was loaded with wiring cables. Behind it a third cart came, loaded with telescopic tube sights. And behind came more carts, some with relays, some with firing controls, some with tools and parts, screws and bolts, pins and nuts. The final one contained atomic warheads.

  The carts lined up behind the first one, the lead cart. The lead cart started off, across the frozen ground, bumping calmly along, followed by the others. Moving toward the city.

  To the damaged gun.

  The Skull

  "What is this opportunity?" Conger asked. "Go on. I'm interested."

  The room was silent; all faces were fixed on Conger--still in the drab prison uniform. The Speaker leaned forward slowly.

  "Before you went to prison your trading business was paying well--all illegal--all very profitable. Now you have nothing, except the prospect of another six years in a cell."

  Conger scowled.

  "There is a certain situation, very important to this Council, that requires your peculiar abilities. Also, it is a situation you might find interesting. You were a hunter, were you not? You've done a great deal of trapping, hiding in the bushes, waiting at night for the game? I imagine hunting must be a source of satisfaction to you, the chase, the stalking--"

  Conger sighed. His lips twisted. "All right," he said. "Leave that out. Get to the point. Who do you want me to kill?"

  The Speaker smiled. "All in proper sequence," he said softly.

  The car slid to a stop. It was night; there was no light anywhere along the street. Conger looked out. "Where are we? What is this place?"

  The hand of the guard pressed into his arm. "Come. Through that door."

  Conger stepped down, onto the damp sidewalk. The guard came swiftly after him, and then the Speaker. Conger took a deep breath of the cold air. He studied the dim outline of the building rising up before them.

  "I know this place. I've seen it before." He squinted, his eyes growing accustomed to the dark. Suddenly he became alert. "This is--"

  "Yes. The First Church." The Speaker walked toward the steps. "We're expected."

  "Expected? Here?"

  "Yes." The Speaker mounted the stairs.

  "You
know we're not allowed in their Churches, especially with guns!" He stopped. Two armed soldiers loomed up ahead, one on each side.

  "All right?" The Speaker looked up at them. They nodded. The door of the Church was open. Conger could see other soldiers inside, standing about, young soldiers with large eyes, gazing at the icons and holy images.

  "I see," he said.

  "It was necessary," the Speaker said. "As you know, we have been singularly unfortunate in the past in our relations with the First Church."

  "This won't help."

  "But it's worth it. You will see."

  They passed through the hall and into the main chamber where the altar piece was, and the kneeling places. The Speaker scarcely glanced at the altar as they passed by. He pushed open a small side door and beckoned Conger through.

  "In here. We have to hurry. The faithful will be flocking in soon."

  Conger entered, blinking. They were in a small chamber, low-ceilinged, with dark panels of old wood. There was a smell of ashes and smoldering spices in the room. He sniffed. "What's that? The smell."

  "Cups on the wall. I don't know." The Speaker crossed impatiently to the far side. "According to our information, it is hidden here by this--"

  Conger looked around the room. He saw books and papers, holy signs and images. A strange low shiver went through him.

  "Does my job involve anyone of the Church? If it does--"

  The Speaker turned, astonished. "Can it be that you believe in the Founder? Is it possible, a hunter, a killer--"

  "No. Of course not. All their business about resignation to death, nonviolence--"

  "What is it, then?"

  Conger shrugged. "I've been taught not to mix with such as these. They have strange abilities. And you can't reason with them."

  The Speaker studied Conger thoughtfully. "You have the wrong idea. It is no one here that we have in mind. We've found that killing them only tends to increase their numbers."

  "Then why come here? Let's leave."

  "No. We came for something important. Something you will need to identify your man. Without it you won't be able to find him." A trace of a smile crossed the Speaker's face. "We don't want you to kill the wrong person. It's too important."

  "I don't make mistakes." Conger's chest rose. "Listen, Speaker--"

  "This is an unusual situation," the Speaker said. "You see, the person you are after--the person that we are sending you to find--is known only by certain objects here. They are the only traces, the only means of identification. Without them--"

  "What are they?"

  He came toward the Speaker. The Speaker moved to one side. "Look," he said. He drew a sliding wall away, showing a dark square hole. "In there."

  Conger squatted down, staring in. He frowned. "A skull! A skeleton!"

  "The man you are after has been dead for two centuries," the Speaker said. "This is all that remains of him. And this is all you have with which to find him."

  For a long time Conger said nothing. He stared down at the bones, dimly visible in the recess of the wall. How could a man dead centuries be killed? How could he be stalked, brought down?

  Conger was a hunter, a man who had lived as he pleased, where he pleased. He had kept himself alive by trading, bringing furs and pelts in from the Provinces on his own ship, riding at high speed, slipping through the customs line around Earth.

  He had hunted in the great mountains of the moon. He had stalked through empty Martian cities. He had explored--

  The Speaker said, "Soldier, take these objects and have them carried to the car. Don't lose any part of them."

  The soldier went into the cupboard, reaching gingerly, squatting on his heels.

  "It is my hope," the Speaker continued softly, to Conger, "that you will demonstrate your loyalty to us, now. There are always ways for citizens to restore themselves, to show their devotion to their society. For you I think this would be a very good chance. I seriously doubt that a better one will come. And for your efforts there will be quite a restitution, of course."

  The two men looked at each other; Conger, thin, unkempt, the Speaker immaculate in his uniform.

  "I understand you," Conger said. "I mean, I understand this part, about the chance. But how can a man who has been dead two centuries be--"

  "I'll explain later," the Speaker said. "Right now we have to hurry." The soldier had gone out with the bones, wrapped in a blanket held carefully in his arms. The Speaker walked to the door. "Come. They've already discovered that we've broken in here, and they'll be coming at any moment."

  They hurried down the damp steps to the waiting car. A second later the driver lifted the car up into the air, above the house-tops.

  The Speaker settled back in the seat.

  "The First Church has an interesting past," he said. "I suppose you are familiar with it, but I'd like to speak of a few points that are of relevancy to us.

  "It was in the twentieth century that the Movement began--during one of the periodic wars. The Movement developed rapidly, feeding on the general sense of futility, the realization that each war was breeding greater war, with no end in sight. The Movement posed a simple answer to the problem: Without military preparations--weapons--there could be no war. And without machinery and complex scientific technocracy there could be no weapons.

  "The Movement preached that you couldn't stop war by planning for it. They preached that man was losing to his machinery and science, that it was getting away from him, pushing him into greater and greater wars. Down with society, they shouted. Down with factories and science! A few more wars and there wouldn't be much left of the world.

  "The Founder was an obscure person from a small town in the American Middle West. We don't even know his name. All we know is that one day he appeared, preaching a doctrine of non-violence, non-resistance; no fighting, no paying taxes for guns, no research except for medicine. Live out your life quietly, tending your garden, staying out of public affairs; mind your own business. Be obscure, unknown, poor. Give away most of your possessions, leave the city. At least that was what developed from what he told the people."

  The car dropped down and landed on a roof.

  "The Founder preached this doctrine, or the germ of it; there's no telling how much the faithful have added themselves. The local authorities picked him up at once, of course. Apparently they were convinced that he meant it; he was never released. He was put to death, and his body buried secretly. It seemed that the cult was finished."

  The Speaker smiled. "Unfortunately, some of his disciples reported seeing him after the date of his death. The rumor spread; he had conquered death, he was divine. It took hold, grew. And here we are today, with a First Church, obstructing all social progress, destroying society, sowing the seeds of anarchy--"

  "But the wars," Conger said. "About them?"

  "The wars? Well, there were no more wars. It must be acknowledged that the elimination of war was the direct result of non-violence practiced on a general scale. But we can take a more objective view of war today. What was so terrible about it? War had a profound selective value, perfectly in accord with the teachings of Darwin and Mendel and others. Without war the mass of useless, incompetent mankind, without training or intelligence, is permitted to grow and expand unchecked. War acted to reduce their numbers; like storms and earthquakes and droughts, it was nature's way of eliminating the unfit.

  "Without war the lower elements of mankind have increased all out of proportion. They threaten the educated few, those with scientific knowledge and training, the ones equipped to direct society. They have no regard for science or a scientific society, based on reason. And this Movement seeks to aid and abet them. Only when scientists are in full control can the--"

  He looked at his watch and then kicked the car door open. "I'll tell you the rest as we walk."

  They crossed the dark roof. "Doubtless you now know whom those bones belonged to, who it is that we are after. He has been dead just two centuries, now, this
ignorant man from the Middle West, this Founder. The tragedy is that the authorities of the time acted too slowly. They allowed him to speak, to get his message across. He was allowed to preach, to start his cult. And once such a thing is under way, there's no stopping it.

  "But what if he had died before he preached? What if none of his doctrines had ever been spoken? It took only a moment for him to utter them, that we know. They say he spoke just once, just one time. Then the authorities came, taking him away. He offered no resistance; the incident was small."

  The Speaker turned to Conger.

  "Small, but we're reaping the consequences of it today."

  They went inside the building. Inside, the soldiers had already laid out the skeleton on a table. The soldiers stood around it, their young faces intense.

  Conger went over to the table, pushing past them. He bent down, staring at the bones. "So these are his remains," he murmured. "The Founder. The Church has hidden them for two centuries."

  "Quite so," the Speaker said. "But now we have them. Come along down the hall."

  They went across the room to a door. The Speaker pushed it open. Technicians looked up. Conger saw machinery, whirring and turning; benches and retorts. In the center of the room was a gleaming crystal cage.

  The Speaker handed a Slem-gun to Conger. "The important thing to remember is that the skull must be saved and brought back--for comparison and proof. Aim low--at the chest."

  Conger weighed the gun in his hands. "It feels good," he said. "I know this gun--that is, I've seen them before, but I never used one."

  The Speaker nodded. "You will be instructed on the use of the gun and the operation of the cage. You will be given all data we have on the time and location. The exact spot was a place called Hudson's field. About 1960 in a small community outside Denver, Colorado. And don't forget--the only means of identification you will have will be the skull. There are visible characteristics of the front teeth, especially the left incisor--"