Lieutenant Hotshot

by Julia North

  I said nothing but knew he meant Sipho and his finger and my heart felt bad that I had forgot my friend’s pain so soon.

  “The RPG‘s better than the AK,” said Jabu, giving me a sideways look.

  “That’s just ‘cause you’re not so good with the AK,” I said, and glared at him with narrow eyes.

  He clenched his hands. “Fuck you, Modetse; I’m just as good as you. I put it apart before you and I know all the parts better!”

  “So, I hit much more targets than you.”

  “You talk such shit –I’ve hit just as many,” shouted Jabu, coming at me with his fists. “I’m older than you. Don’t think you can be better than me.”

  “You’re only one year older,” I shouted back. “That means nothing. You don’t have to be old to be the best soldier. I am better than you.”

  “Fuck you,” shouted Jabu, launching at me.

  David caught his arms and pulled him back. “Stop it, you two. You’ll make trouble for yourselves.

  “Hey, you boys –Mobuto wants you out now. Move! If I find you fighting I’ll fuck you both up.”

  We turned to see Badboy standing at the door. He glared at us with his cold eyes. He had his hands on his hips and I saw his machete glint at his side. He saw me and kept his eyes hard as he put one hand around its handle. I froze and Jabu jerked back. The air between us crackled as Badboy looked from me to Jabu and then back again.

  “I told you to move; now go or I will cut you and drink both your blood.”

  I gave Jabu the evil eye but marched over quickly and picked up my AK. I did not want to test Badboy. I slung it over my shoulder and showed for David to follow.

  “Be careful of Jabu,” whispered David. “He had big brothers and is used to fighting. He will want to beat you.”

  I nodded and gritted my teeth. I knew David was right but I was not weak. I would not let Jabu beat me. I didn’t care if he knew how to fight and was hard; so was I.

  Mobuto was waiting outside with a movie in his hand.

  “To the movie hut,” he shouted. “We’ll watch the enemy pigs,” he said with a grin. “You’ll see the dirty pigs from the bush who try and kill us. The evil ones who kill your mother and father and stick their dirty big cocks into your sister.”

  “Yes, sah,” we said. We hurried to the hut and sat on the floor with our legs crossed and our AKs across our laps. My mind was excited at the thought of seeing the tsetse fly enemy again and I forgot about my fight with Jabu.

  This time the movie started with a village with lots of children running around. The men were sitting drinking beer and the women were making food in big pots, hitting them with long wooden sticks. All of a sudden soldiers, dressed in uniforms of the government crept from the bushes. They were wearing the government badge and had green paint on their cheeks.

  “Watch as the enemy pig kills your family,” screamed Mobuto. “See how they cut out their hearts and eat them and pull out their eyes with their dirty fingers.”

  We rose up in anger as we saw the soldiers rush into the village and begin shooting, stabbing and raping the people. Every hair on my body was full with fury. My muscles screamed with hate and my face twisted with my anger.

  “You must kill the dirty enemy pigs. You must kill them. They’re killing your family. Look they’re sticking their big dirty diseased cocks into your mother. You must kill them!” screamed Mobuto. His eyes were bulging and his fat stomach heaved up and down.

  My anger grew inside. Mobuto was right. I could see the dirty enemy pig on the screen. He was attacking the young girl like Thandi who was only five years. He was beating her with his gun until she was lying bleeding on the ground. I wanted to tear him to pieces like the wild dog.

  I jumped up and shook my fist at the screen. The enemy cut the throat of the girl and I opened my mouth and roared, “Die! I will kill you!” at the screen.

  We screamed together as the enemy stabbed the women and tore their clothes. Every boy wanted to kill. “Kill the pigs. Kill the pigs!” we shouted and the hut vibrated with our anger. I watched the enemy rape the young girl and the film went blurry in front of my eyes. My fists clenched and my whole body tensed like the wire spring. It was Thandi up there! The rage in my belly burst forward like the mad black rhino. I screamed as loud as I could, “Kill the enemy pigs. Make their blood spill out. Drink their blood. Take out their eyes!”

  The whole room was alive with our hate. Even David wanted to kill.

  “Kill the pigs, take out their eyes!” we shouted together after Mobuto. All I felt was the power of the L.R.A. My body was alive for the killing. I was a killing machine. I felt David next to me and Sipho. Jabu and Richard were there too. We were all true brothers of the L.R.A. We were the army who would fight and destroy the evil enemy pigs who took our beautiful land. Too long the land had cried tears of blood because of what they have done. That’s what Mobuto told us. We would take their blood and make the land free again from the evil regime of the enemy. The General and Commander Mobuto would lead us to victory.

  “Maisha Uhuru,” shouted Mobuto.

  He raised his AK high into the air. We copied him.

  “Freedom lives,” we shouted.

  “Maisha Uhuru!

  Mungu yu pamoja nasi,

  Sisi Ni Jeshi La Mungu,

  God is with us, we are the God Army.”

  Chapter 18

  “Modetse, come quick.”

  It was David. He looked at me with big shining eyes and panted with excitement. I looked up at his happy face. “What’s up?”

  “Jabu‘s has found some meat for us. He says we must come fast before the soldiers come back. Where’s Richard and Sipho?”

  “They’re at the dining hut with Trigger. They have to do the cleaning duty for Bilole.”

  “Okay –let’s go.”

  I followed David through the tall yellow grass and past a clump of acacia trees to a thatched mud hut at the back. David ran like a gazelle on his long thin legs and I took big strides behind him. It was late in the afternoon and the sun was moving down the sky.

  “Here, quick,” said Jabu as his head peered out from the back of the wooden hut. He put his fingers to his lips and showed for us to come to the back of the round mud hut. We crept around its circle wall to a strong fire, which still smoldered with the smell of the burnt meat. My mouth filled with water; the smell was too good. There was a big leg of buck lying across the red coals. The soldiers had cut chunks from it but there was still good juicy meat on the bone. Jabu grinned and his brown eyes shone.

  “You’re too clever, Jabu. How did you find this feast?”

  He puffed up like a rooster when I asked this.

  “Ha, you are not the only clever one. I saw Nkunda coming from here with the other officers. Their mouths were shiny with the oil from the meat. I knew there must be a big feast.”

  Jabu talked through a mouthful of the meat, his cheeks round like two mud huts. The meat it smelt too good and I pulled out my sharp dagger and ran to the buck. I stabbed the teeth into it, cut big jagged slices of the bloody meat and stuffed it into my mouth. It was soft, fat and oily and tasted like the heaven.

  “My stomach dances from this meat. I’ve never eaten like this,” I said as I tore a big piece of red meat from the bone with my sharp knife and gave it to David. He pushed the whole chunk into his mouth. His cheeks bulged and he had to chew it with his mouth half open because there was so much. We were laughing with our fat mouths as we ate.

  “Give me more, Modetse,” said David. “My stomach wants more.”

  I’d never seen him so excited. He was jumping up and down.

  “I’m sharing it properly, David. You must wait.”

  I kept my head high. I felt like the officer and my heart inside was as strong as a bull elephant. I felt different inside now from my oath and drinking the enemy blood. If I thought about blood now it did not worry me anymore. I liked the smell. I was like Rambo and a true soldier. I think the evil spirits h
ad eaten my weakness.

  “Cut it properly,” said Jabu.

  I glared at him and cut the meat slowly. He must be careful. I could stab him with this knife. Just because we were friends now did not mean I would let him think he was in charge. I gave the meat to David. He smiled at me with his kind eyes and took it from my knife.

  We sat on our haunches like a pack of baboons and ate more of the juicy meat. My mouth was full with it and the blood and oil ran down my chin and over my hands. The smell was so sweet and rich. It was like the blazing fire and my heart felt strong. I cut more juicy meat from the leg until the white bone showed through and handed some to David and Jabu. After that I let out a big burp and Jabu did the same. We laughed at each other.

  “Shall we keep some for Richard and Sipho?” said David.

  Jabu wiped his hands on his shorts and jumped up. “No, we must go,” he said. “Nkunda’ll be back soon.”

  The mention of Nkunda’s name made my body feel cold. “What will he say when he sees the meat’s been eaten?”

  “Maybe he’ll think the hyenas have taken it?”

  “That’s stupid, Jabu,” said David. “The hyenas will tear the meat with their teeth not cut it cleanly with a knife.”

  “It’s Modetse’s fault,” said Jabu. “He cut it too quickly and did not think!”

  “Liar,” I shouted. “You’d already eaten some. Don’t try and blame me!” I shoved Jabu in the chest with my hands.

  He angrily shoved me back. “You always think you’re right, Modetse. You always want to take over.”

  “That’s because I’m better than you,” I said pushing him again.

  We glared at each other with clenched fists. I wanted to smack him in the mouth and make him bleed. I wanted to see his blood and knock his teeth from his jaw. I made a move towards him but David grabbed my arms and shouted, “Stop it! We’re idiots. They’ll know we have eaten it. We must think what to do.”

  We went quiet. My stomach had been so happy to see the meat that my head did not think to make it look like the animals had eaten it. Now I felt afraid. Nkunda would be angry because we had taken his meat.

  “Maybe we must take the bone off the fire and drag it into the bush. Then they’ll think it is the hyenas.”

  “Good idea, Modetse. Come, let’s fetch it,” said David.

  I snatched the leg from the fire and turned to run to the bush but stopped suddenly as strong footsteps thudded from the bush towards us,

  “Quick, they’re coming. We must run round to the front.

  We turned, but it was too late. Nkunda and his men had seen us. My heart fell deep into my boots. My oil mouth was frozen. I stared at him. I was holding the leg in my hands. I dropped it to my side. Nkunda looked at me with cold eyes. He was not wearing a shirt but had a string of AK bullets across his shiny brown chest. There were three other soldiers with him. They were all quiet and looking at us with cruel eyes and evil smiles, waiting to laugh at our pain. I prayed to God that he would not kill us. I thought my heart would jump from my chest. I breathed heavy and my legs shook. I looked at David and Jabu. They were frozen like me.

  “You mustn’t show your fear,” I whispered to David. “You must be strong. You must not cry otherwise they’ll kill you.”

  David looked at me with his big eyes and I could see he’d understood. I hoped he would be able to act well. I did not want to lose my friend.

  The rope cut hard into my wrists. The hot sun beat down on my head. Nkunda had taken my shirt from my body and was standing with a rawhide whip in front of my face.

  “So you think you can rob your Captain?” he shouted in my ear so loud that my head rang. I could feel my legs shaking and the sweat jumping all over my body. My heart was full of fear but I knew I must not show it otherwise I would be food for the hyenas.

  “We…we’re sorry, Nkunda. The smell of the meat was so good we did not use our brains.”

  “You have no brains. You are fucking stupid boys. What’re you saying? Do we not give you enough food? Hah!”

  “No, Nkunda. You give us good food. You are too good to us. We just saw the meat and then we did not think. We thought it was left for the animals.”

  The sharp crack of the whip hurt my ears and then I felt the pain sink deep and hard into my body. Red blood splashed up onto my face and dripped down onto the ground. “Thwack!” again the pain tore into my body and again. The sharp tail of the whip smacked me in the face and I closed my eyes tight against the hurt and the blood. I bit down hard on my lip until the salty taste of blood filled my mouth. I must not cry out or he would hit me more.

  “Why would we leave meat for the animals? Huh? Huh? Do not play the clever boy with me. Do you hear me?”

  “Yes, Nkunda. I am sorry. I’ve been wrong, Nkunda. I’m sorry.”

  I cried out loud to Nkunda but this made him hit me even harder. The whip tore into my skin like a crocodile for the fifth time. I thought I would die soon from the pain. My spirit wanted to climb out from my body to escape the hurt but I knew I must not let it. I must live for Thandi! The memory of our chubby mouths and chicken came back into my mind and I let it fill my thoughts to try and escape from this pain…

  “Enough!”

  It was Mobuto’s voice.

  “I’ll take it from here.”

  I never thought that I would be glad to hear Mobuto. We were his boys. He would not like it that Nkunda had taken us over. Mobuto took the whip to me again and I felt it crack across my back causing me to scream out. Then he turned to David. I felt a cold splash of water on my face and my body. Someone was untying my hands. I fell onto the soft ground and felt the red dust on my tongue.

  “Carry him back to the hut. I’ll deal with him later.”

  “Yes, sah.”

  I felt two strong hands lift me up and put me over a shoulder like I was a sack of corn. I opened my eyes and saw Mobuto finishing with David and starting to whip Jabu. I was glad it was not Nkunda. I smiled to myself and then the darkness came and took me away from the hurting.

  Chapter 19

  When I woke I found that I was on my bed and the room had darkened in the weak light of the setting sun. I sat up.

  “David? Jabu?” I whispered.

  There was no answer. They were not here. A cold fear came over my body. I hoped Mobuto had not killed them.

  “Richard? Sipho?”

  There was no answer. Then I heard the door creak and I saw someone limp in.

  “David. Is that you?” I whispered.

  “Yes, Modetse. It’s me. Stay in your bed. Mobuto may come in.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m paining, but I’m okay. Stay well, my brother.”

  “Where’s Jabu?”

  “Mobuto just finished with him. He’ll be okay; he’s not screaming and Mobuto doesn’t want him dead. I heard him tell that to Bilole.”

  “We are his soldiers. Only he can kill us if we do wrong, not Nkunda,” I said.

  My heart was so glad to see David. I looked over his face. It was swollen and I could see the big cut on his cheek. He stumbled over to his bed and fell down on it.

  “You are right. We must never do wrong to him otherwise we’ll have no hope,” he said. He lay back with his arm across his head.

  “We’re too stupid. But the meat she was good, hey? Better than the fat woman,” I said to try and cheer him up.

  David laughed. “You’re too much, Modetse. You’re too strong. That strength will get you into trouble.”

  “It makes me the strong soldier.”

  David looked at me and gave a strange smile. I think he was a frightened of me sometimes. I was not so scared anymore of the big men now. When I saw the new children come and get beaten my stomach did not jump into my mouth. Richard and Jabu were so jealous; I could see it in their eyes. They also wanted to be like me but I was the only hotshot and I would tear their bodies with my AK bullets if they tried to steal my prize. I was glad Mobuto liked me because he sees that
I’ve become a hard one who’s clever. That was why he did not let Nkunda kill me. He needed his number one shot. My stomach grew warm with these thoughts and I smiled.

  “What’re you thinking, Modetse?” asked David.

  “Nothing,” I said, and closed my eyes until the door creaked open again. It was Jabu. He was limping. He looked at us in the dim light and then put his finger on his lips. He went quickly to his bed and sat on the bottom. I heard the thud of boots and saw the elephant body of Mobuto filling the doorway. He put the light on and I put my hand in front of my eyes against the strong glare from the bare bulb.

  He stared at us in silence and then sneered. “So, you devils, you want to play the big soldier men. You want to eat the fat juicy meat like you are Captains. Well okay, devil boys. Soon you’ll act like the big soldier men you think you are. In a few weeks we are going to the Thokozo village to find more boys and girls. We hear that the villagers are hiding the food and the weapons for the rebels. We’ll burn their fucking houses and kill their women. The graves of our enemy are not yet full. We need more bodies. You’ll come and blow out the brains of the fucking dirty village pigs. You’ll find the weapons and burn their fucking mud huts. You fucking solider boys want to be men. Okay you’ll be men. Only then will you earn the meat. I want you up at five a.m. Is that clear?”

  He shouted so loud that it made my ears ring. We jumped from our beds and saluted him. My body throbbed inside and I was scared and a part of me did not want to hurt the villagers, but the other part of me was excited. I would really be a proper soldier now. I would go with the big men. I could show Mobuto properly what a hotshot I was. I wondered what it would feel like to put my AK bullet into the body of a real person and see their blood fly out, maybe their brains too if I got a good head shot? Ay, it would be too good. My heart beat very fast. I had drunk the enemy blood. I had made the oath to the General. The dark spirits were in my soul. I had the power in me now. I could kill even better than Rambo. I felt Jabu‘s eyes on me and looked over at him. He stared back with angry eyes like it was my fault we’d got caught. I looked back with hate. He must be careful. I would feel nothing to kill him too.