Rocky: Stargazer Alien Mail Order Brides (Intergalactic Dating Agency)

by Tasha Black

  “What are you doing here?” he asked. These jokers were his evening crew. They had better have a good reason to be here during business hours. He preferred to look at them in much dimmer light, if he had to at all.

  “Well, we did what you said,” Sonny said, stepping forward as Larry, still red in the face, licked his wounds. “We followed the little redheaded girl.”

  “Call her something else,” Carlton said. “I’m not Charlie fucking Brown.”

  The two exchanged confused glances.

  “Go on,” Carlton prodded.

  “They went over to that old park,” Sonny said.

  “Which park?” Carlton asked.

  “You know, the one with the rides, that shut down back in the ‘90s?”

  “The old amusement park… what was she doing there?” Carlton mused.

  “At first they were just picking up garbage,” Sonny said. “But then we saw something. Something crazy.”

  “Totally crazy,” Larry whispered reverently.

  “Well, what was it?” Carlton demanded.

  “I’m gonna show you,” Sonny said.

  He proudly slipped his cell phone out of his pocket. It was one of those enormous jet-black things with the domed glass. Sonny probably used it to call his momma once a week and sat it on a charger the rest of the time. Overkill, it was always overkill with these know-nothing types. They didn’t know how to handle a little money when they had it.

  Sonny tapped at it wildly, as if he were ringing all the doorbells in an apartment complex trying to figure out which one was his friend’s place.

  At last he held the phone out to Carlton, like he was planning to hold it while Carlton watched.

  Carlton sighed and snatched the thing out of Sonny’s hand. It was warm and he didn’t like to think how close it had been pressed to Sonny’s body in his pocket. But he was not about to watch it while Sonny held it like he was his kid or something.

  A video came to life on the screen.

  A teenager made a series of hand motions and the shot panned to a bored looking dog with droopy ears.

  “What am I supposed to be looking at?” Carlton asked.

  “Huh?” Sonny said, glancing at the screen, which Carlton purposely held at an angle that would make it difficult for Sonny to see. “Oh, sorry, boss, that’s the wrong one.”

  Sonny swiped the screen and another video came up, shot in portrait mode, the surest sign of a rank amateur.

  “Is this thing on?” Sonny’s voice asked from inside the video.

  The screen panned up to the sky.

  “Don’t you think we should call the police?” Larry’s voice asked worriedly in the background.

  “Hush,” Sonny hissed. “He said to watch her. He didn’t say to interfere.”

  The picture panned madly again and focused in on an old roller coaster.

  Carlton squinted and could see a bit of movement near the top.

  It was the girl.

  There was a tiny sigh of sound in the background. She must have been screaming for help.

  Then he caught a hint of movement near her.

  The old observatory model was across from the wooden coaster. Carlton had always hated it since it looked just like the real observatory but there was nothing interesting in it, just a spiral staircase to the lookout deck, where they expected you to pay a quarter just to look through some oversized metal binoculars mounted on a post. Like there was ever anything worth seeing in that park.

  Only now there was something interesting.

  Something was moving up there. A person, on the roof of the observatory. They must have climbed out a maintenance hatch over the observation deck.

  “Oh, shit what’s he doing?” Sonny’s voice said in the video.

  “We should call the police,” Larry’s voice worried.

  Carlton squinted.

  Mercifully, Sonny must have at last figured out the close-up feature on his camera phone. The view tightened to just the man on the roof.

  Watching it, Carlton felt his chest tighten. The man was young, like the girl, and very handsome and muscular. One of Bhimani’s religious band. Naturally, while Carlton was buying boots to impress the girl, this muscle-bound knucklehead was making a grand gesture trying to save her life. She’d be in bed with him in no time, and Carlton didn’t like to think of himself as competing for sloppy seconds.

  The shot panned jerkily out, and he saw both of them at once - the girl, her strawberry hair whipping in the wind, and the man reaching for her.

  But the joke was on them because there must have been at least twenty, thirty feet of thin air between them.

  The man moved toward the girl.

  “No,” Carlton breathed. “You’re not trying to show me death footage, are you?” he accused Sonny. “I’m not into that, and yeah, you should go to the police…”

  “Just keep watching, boss,” Sonny whispered.

  Carlton looked back at the phone just in time to see the man step off the dome and into the air.

  But instead of plummeting to his certain death, he hovered.

  And then he flew.

  He flew.

  He flew.

  He flew over, grabbed the girl, and flew to the ground with her.

  Oh shit.

  “Oh, shit,” Larry said in the background of the video. “Did he just…?”

  “Oh shit, oh shit…” Sonny said.

  The camera panned down to where the man was disappearing with the girl in his arms.

  “Shit,” Larry said once more, and the screen went black.

  There was silence in the room.

  “What do you make of it, boss?” Larry asked uncertainly.

  “It’s obviously a hoax. And I don’t think you boys are smart enough to have perpetrated a hoax, so it must have been the girl. I’ll get to the bottom of it. Now get out of here.”

  Carlton gestured them toward the door.

  “I don’t think it was a hoax, sir,” Sonny said, his voice a bit higher pitched than usual.

  “You’re not paid to think, Sonny,” Carlton returned.

  “M-my phone,” Sonny said, turning back.

  “I’m gonna hang onto this a while,” Carlton replied, turning the thing over thoughtfully in his hand.

  “What am I supposed to—” Sonny began.

  “—Oh, just go visit your momma in person. You don’t need a damn phone,” Carlton interrupted. “Now get out of here, I have to think.”

  As soon as they were gone, he began to pace the floor of his office.

  It wasn’t a hoax, at least not as far as he could tell. But Carlton hadn’t wanted those two buffoons to spread rumors around town before he had figured out what to do with the info.

  It was big, that much was for sure.

  And he had known there was something off about those three guys. Nobody was that handsome. Certainly not three nobodies. And especially not those religious types. Carlton had always thought of religion as the refuge of the very poor and the very ugly.

  No, there were much darker forces at work here. And he, Carlton Briggs, was going to get to the bottom of it.

  He continued to pace the wood floor of his office, enjoying the feel of the boots under his feet, striking the wood like a king might flog an errant pageboy.

  Maybe he would keep them after all.

  16

  Georgia

  Georgia took a bite of fragrant Indian bread with yogurt and sighed in ecstasy.

  The whole gang was eating an early dinner and discussing the UFO sighting that was planned for the evening. Dr. Bhimani had made an array of Indian delicacies and the room smelled heavenly. It was almost enough to make Georgia forgive her completely.

  Georgia sat across from Rocky at the big dining room table. Somehow their encounter last night had only cemented their growing friendship, rather than making things awkward.

  Rocky smiled at her, his dark eyes crinkling, and nudged her foot with his under the table.

  G
eorgia couldn’t help grinning back, even when she saw Posey wink unsubtly at Bond and incline her head toward them as if to say I-told-you-they-would-fall-for-each-other.

  “So, we want the UFO to appear and be seen easily,” Rima was saying. “But we don’t want it close enough that anyone can see it take off and land. I’ve identified two possible opportunities, but I think one is really the only choice.”

  Georgia put down her bread and tried to pay attention. This was important and Rima was trying so hard.

  Georgia’s eyes went to Magnum, who was leaning back in his chair, arms folded in front of his chest, watching Rima speak.

  “What’s the best one?” Georgia asked.

  “There’s a football game tonight,” Rima said, her eyes dancing. “The ‘Nauts are playing the Beavers. It’s a huge deal. Everyone will be at the stadium. If we can get the ship visible from there, someone will see it and no one will see it land again.”

  “Nice,” Posey nodded.

  “Can you get the ship high enough to be seen two point seven miles from here?” Rima asked Magnum.

  “Bond?” Magnum shrugged.

  “Indeed,” Bond offered. “We should have no problem getting it up.”

  Posey’s mouth quirked as if she were holding in a that’s-what-she-said.

  “Kick off time is seven,” Rima said, checking her phone. “The sun sets at… 6:42. We should be fine to hit it anytime after that.”

  “I know you think everyone will see it,” Georgia said. “But shouldn’t one of us be at the game to make sure?”

  “That’s not a bad idea,” Posey agreed.

  “Yes, the women will attend the match,” Magnum said, his deep voice surprising Georgia, as usual, since he used it so little.

  “Oh we don’t all have to—” Rima began.

  “—The women will attend the match,” Magnum said.

  Rima stopped in her tracks, then smiled out at her friends. “Okay, looks like a girls’ night out,” she said brightly.

  Georgia didn’t like to see her friend being bossed like that.

  A little voice in the back of her head asked why it was okay when Georgia bossed Rima around, but not okay when Magnum did it. But Georgia chose to ignore the voice and feel ruffled anyway.

  “Well, there’s no time to waste,” Bond said, standing. “If you’ll excuse us, ladies, I think we need to get to work on the ship.”

  Georgia felt an unfamiliar pang and glanced across the table to see Rocky rise.

  Damnit, she felt like a puppy watching its owner go to work.

  “See you later, baby,” Rocky said with a wink.

  She raised an eyebrow at him and he grinned.

  Irrepressible, that’s what he was. And she couldn’t say it wasn’t infectious. She’d been in a great mood all day.

  “Come on, let’s get ready for the game,” Rima said, her eyes sparkling.

  Georgia had been to plenty of football games in high school. But something about Rima’s bubbly expression made Georgia think maybe her friend hadn’t.

  17

  Georgia

  Georgia and her friends gathered in Posey’s room after helping Dr. Bhimani clear up the dinner.

  Posey had big ideas about giving them each the big-game look. It seemed to involve ponytails, a lot of eyeliner and lipstick and the trying on of endless sweaters.

  “It’s a shame we have to wear these white dresses all the time,” Posey sighed, applying lip gloss to Rima’s already blindingly glossy lips, “but they suit your coloring, honey.”

  “‘Ank ‘ooo,” Rima said politely, trying not to move her mouth.

  “And you,” Posey said, glaring at Georgia, “you probably already licked yours off.”

  “Mm,” Georgia agreed, nodding. Somehow she didn’t have the heart to get into this the way the other two were. Something was eating at her, but she couldn’t decide what.

  At last they were prepared to Posey’s satisfaction. Glossed up, ponytailed and be-sweatered, the three headed out to the old station wagon.

  “Have fun, girls,” Dr. Bhimani waved from the stairs.

  “Bye, Mom,” Rima yelled.

  Posey and Georgia waved, then they hopped in the car.

  Rima drove. Georgia took shotgun without calling it. Posey swung into the backseat.

  Then the boxwood hedge was flying past, headlights flashing as Rima took the drive faster than Dr. Bhimani ever had.

  Posey started laughing and Rima giggled and clung to the wheel. Georgia rolled her eyes, but couldn’t hide her smile.

  They were driving to a high school football game in the middle of nowhere to make sure the attendees saw the fake flight of a real alien spacecraft in order to save the hide and home of the woman who had lured them here under false pretenses to be fed delicacies and wed to a bunch of hunks from another solar system… but Georgia had learned long ago that anything, literally anything, was fun with these two women she loved so dearly.

  “So, what’s the deal, Posey?” Georgia asked.

  “The deal with what?” Posey repied.

  “The deal with what?” Georgia repeated, shaking her head. “Can you believe her?” she asked Rima.

  Rima just giggled.

  “What’s the deal with you and Bond?” Georgia asked. “I mean, you’re clearly together. Are you… getting married? Why are you not sleeping together?”

  “Um, okay. The deal is that he loves me, and I love him too. And, yeah, I think we’re going to get married,” she dimpled. “And… well, he has some old fashioned ideas about sharing a bed. So, yeah, that’s the deal.”

  “You mean he won’t sleep with you?” Georgia asked, her blood running cold at the idea that Rocky could keep up this teasing until an actual wedding night.

  Posey turned ten shades of pink and shook her head.

  “Um, we’ve done that,” she said. “But we just won’t be moving into each other’s room or anything yet.”

  “Whatever floats your boat,” Georgia said, nodding her head and hoping her relief wasn’t showing on her face.

  She chided herself inwardly. It didn’t matter whether or not Posey and Bond were waiting for marriage. Georgia was not planning to get married. She hadn’t even finished college, for heaven’s sake.

  No, Rocky was just a pretty face, a very, very, very pretty face. There would be other, decidedly less attractive, fish in the sea when she was ready.

  “You really like him, don’t you?” Rima asked.

  But Posey didn’t answer.

  “I mean you, Georgia,” Rima said. “You really like Rocky, don’t you?”

  “Is it that obvious?” Georgia asked, looking out the window. She normally enjoyed being the strong, den mother type to her friends. But suddenly all she wanted was to vent.

  The two stayed quiet, as good friends know instinctively to do when one is ready to share.

  “At first all I noticed was what he looked like,” Georgia admitted. “I mean dear god, he’s gorgeous right?”

  Rima giggled and Posey nodded. But still they didn’t interject.

  “Yeah,” Georgia said, thinking about Rocky’s godlike physique and mischievous smile. “But then I realized how sweet he was.”

  “Mm,” Posey agreed.

  “And so I thought… I thought he should be with Rima, not with me,” Georgia admitted.

  “What?” Rima gasped, turning to Georgia.

  “Eyes on the road,” Georgia yelled.

  “Drive, Rima,” Posey said with a clenched jaw at the same time.

  “Oh, right, sorry,” Rima said. “I was just surprised. I mean I like Rocky, he’s a nice guy, but he’s not my type.”

  “Really?” Posey demanded. “Who is your type?”

  “Magnum,” Rima smiled smugly.

  Oh boy.

  The poor kid was trying so hard, but they all knew that Rima hadn’t yet penetrated Magnum’s hard exterior. Georgia was beginning to wonder if a freaking missile could even make its way through that guy’s toug
h personality.

  “Anyway, I liked the way Rocky looked at first, but I didn’t think we would be good together. And then…” Georgia trailed off. It was hard to articulate her feelings.

  “And then what?” Posey asked.

  “And then I realized how… nice he is,” Georgia said. “He’s just so… nice.”

  “Well, a lot of people are nice, Georgia,” Rima said uncertainly.

  “Look, I know it doesn’t sound like much, but I’m not exactly a follower,” Georgia said slowly. “And I don’t like weakness in a man either. Maybe that’s why I haven’t had a lot of luck in the dating department. And with my parents’ crummy marriage, I’ve thought that was for the best.”

  Posey reached over the seat to wrap a comforting arm around Georgia’s shoulder.

  “But Rocky,” Georgia said. “He’s as manly as they come. He’s so strong he practically exudes dominance. But somehow he doesn’t try to control me, he… It’s hard to explain.”

  “No, I get it,” Rima said. “He’s got confidence. The man is so confident that it doesn’t threaten him to go with the flow sometimes. He’s a great team player. And you love team sports, Georgia.”

  “I do love team sports,” Georgia agreed, grinning.

  “Speaking of which, here we are,” Rima said, pulling off the road and into a gravel parking lot.

  18

  Georgia

  The “stadium” turned out to be basically a field with some metal bleachers. But the seats were filled and the crowd was enthusiastic.

  Georgia hadn’t thought about football games in a long time. She’d attended plenty in high school but she’d been a cheerleader, she’d never sat in the stands. Game night had always been fun but it was also stressful, exhausting work. It was a nice change to think about going to a game and relaxing with friends.

  You’re not here for the game, Georgia, she told herself. But even the familiar sounds of the crowd set her body into the adrenaline mode of her high school days.

  “Come on, Georgia, there are seats up here,” Posey said, giving her an odd look.

  She shook her head, and followed the girls.