The Redemption Lie

by Amanda J. Clay

  “I'm perfectly aware of the danger, Beck. Having you follow me around like an ill-trained guard dog isn’t helping. You’re just calling attention to me. Just making it easier for them.”

  “They didn’t need my help finding you tonight. Who was that anyway?”

  Nine thrust herself up from the couch. “No idea.”

  “Yes you do.”

  “I didn’t see his face. It would only be speculation.”

  Nina went to the kitchen and grabbed two lagers from the fridge. “We should probably get you to a doctor,” she said, handing one to Beck.

  He gladly accepted but shook his head at her proposal. “I'm fine. Let's not make this more complicated than it has to be.”

  “I'm not sure how it could get more complicated,” Nina said.

  “If we get doctors involved they're going to ask questions.”

  Nina sighed and took a long drink from the bottle. “Good point.”

  Beck lowered the ice pack and looked at Nina with hard, earnest eyes.

  “Maybe it's time we talk about getting you into some kind of protective custody.”

  Nina’s whole body went rigid. “Thank you and fuck you.”

  “Where did you learn to cuss like a sailor, Miss prep school?”

  “Prison.”

  Beck's smirk faded much to her amusement.

  “Yeah, remember that part of my life? Not such a damsel in distress now, am I?”

  Beck didn't say anything. He reached for his beer and drank half.

  “Fine. Can we at least stake someone outside your house? I mean, I can't just leave you out here alone in the woods.”

  “That’s just going to draw more attention to me. These guys don't fuck around. And if they think I'm working with the police, they’ll come after me harder. Some dopey uniform in a cruiser parked outside isn't going to do shit when they show up with the artillery.”

  “Nina—”

  “I’m not going to talk about it anymore, Beck. It’s a stupid idea so just drop it.”

  “You’re a frustrating woman you know that Nina?” Beck said.

  Nina laughed. “Yeah, I've been told. At least I'm never a dull moment. Here let me see your head.”

  She moved closer to him and tilted his head so she could examine the wound.

  “You a doctor?” Beck said.

  Nina smirked as she checked the blood flow. “When you work underground, you learn how to patch things up on your own. You can’t exactly run off to the doctor with every little scrape and cut. Doctors ask questions, right?”

  There was a decent size gash in Beck's head, but it didn't look too deep. Head wounds gushed blood, but often they were superficial.

  “Here let me get some stuff to clean that,” Nina said.

  She slipped back into her room and came back out with a first-aid kit. She pulled out some antiseptic and gauze and went to work at cleaning it, picking out bits and pieces of rocks and dirt.

  Nina placed a bandage over the wound and sat back.

  “What’s the verdict, doc?” Beck said.

  “You’ll live to die another day.”

  Beck gently fingered the bandage. “You really do know a thing or two.”

  Nina stood and went to the fridge. “Another?”

  “Sure, why not. Nearly avoided death-by-thug and all.”

  Nina retrieved two more beers and plopped back on the couch.

  “So why the rockabilly theme?” Beck asked.

  “Huh?”

  “The Black Cat. What made you go all retro with it?”

  Nina shrugged. “I hire girls who are a little rough around the edges, so some chic uppity place wasn’t going to work. But I also wanted it to be a place we could all have a little fun, take a little pride in it. Just some run of the mill diner or dive bar would have attracted the very customers we all need to stay far away from.”

  Nina herself wasn't exactly clean-cut. She had her fair share of tattoos, and a certain hardness that she would never be rid of; the kind that comes through the fires of adversity. There were crow’s feet winning the battle around her eyes, despite her young age. She knew her appearance had a certain feral quality. But she wasn't sure anyone could really serve a three-year prison sentence and come out with complete innocent clarity.

  “And the name?” Beck asked.

  Nina turned up the corners of her mouth slyly. “Remembering where I’ve been.”

  “You’re a damn smart woman, you know that?”

  “Oh, you say that to all the girls.”

  Beck’s lips turned up and his eyes glazed over with a glassy lull. “I keep my compliments close to the chest, Miss Sullivan.”

  Nina’s cheeks warmed and she had to look away. It had been a long time since she’d been paid a simple compliment with no backhanded undertones.

  She felt Beck’s eyes on her then, intense, studying, peeling back the layers of herself.

  “God this is so crazy,” she said, nervously toying with her windblown hair.

  “Tell me about it. If our lives weren’t on the line, I’d say it was kind of fun,” Beck said.

  Nina laughed and her body fell into his slightly. Her hand brushed his shoulder.

  They both stiffened, then Beck looked up at her. A spark smoldered in the vacant space between them. Nina’s muscles relaxed, her body ebbing closer to Beck’s. His hand came up to stroke hers, the calloused fingertips gently running over the prickling skin.

  Nina ripped her hand away. No, she couldn’t do this.

  She thrust herself up from the couch. Fury pulsed through her veins; fury at what, she wasn't really sure. At herself, at the situation, at Beck.

  “What’s wrong?” Beck said, his tone low and throaty.

  “You should just go,” Nina snapped.

  Beck’s jaw loosened and his eyes questioned her sincerity.

  Then he stood. “All right, fine. But mind telling me what the hell I did?”

  Nina guffawed. “Are you serious right now? You're really asking me what the fuck you did?”

  Beck smirked and pulled on his coat. “Yeah I am. And do you always answer questions with a rhetorical question?”

  Nina threw up her hands. “Just go. And just leave me alone ok? Stop following me, stop trying to protect me. I've answered your questions, I told you everything I know. Now go do your policing work like a good boy, get your promotion and get the hell out of my life.”

  “Wow, okay. Somebody’s a little unstable I guess.”

  “Are you serious? That's your best bullshit come back?” Nina picked up her beer and pounded the rest of it. She slammed the bottle back on the table with a feral growl.

  “Here let me get the door for you.” Nina started to walk toward the front door and then she stopped, remembering Beck didn't have a car.

  “Fuck,” she muttered as she turned around.

  Beck had a satisfied smug look on his expression.

  “About that,” Beck said, smiling.

  “I’ll call you a cab,” Nina said.

  “I feel so used,” Beck said.

  “Can you not make jokes right now? Because you're not funny.”

  She pushed past him to pick up her phone and he grabbed her arm. He spun her around and met her eyes with his piercing stare.

  “I don't think this is funny, Nina. I'm not laughing.”

  Something crackled in the air—electricity, warning signs. Run, something inside her called out. Run and don’t look back. Lock the door behind you.

  But she was too far gone to run now.

  She was angry. Burning. But her nipples hardened. Lust was absurd. It struck in the strangest places, at the worst times.

  Just like the moment before someone jumps off a cliff, Nina knew exactly what she was about to do and knew it was a terrible idea. But there was something about the siren call of free-floating through the air that pushed her toward the edge. Push me, she thought. Just push me over the edge. Because I can’t do it myself.

  Even in
the split-second she knew that Beck's mouth would be on hers, she let it happen.

  As his lips brushed hers, as every shred of sense and decency she had protested, but she felt no regrets.

  His teeth gnashed to hers, and she fought back. Biting, grating, growling. Animalistic urge bubbled up from the pit of her, spilling out of her mouth and into his. Dizziness swirled, and her knees began to buckle out from under her.

  His hands were on every inch of her body, tearing away the layers of fabric that stood between them. She couldn’t think, couldn’t process anything other than the raw need, the pounding of her heart, the blazing heat of her skin.

  Beck pushed her to the floor, her body hitting hard against the woven wool carpet covering the rustic hardwood.

  Nina lay there, raw and vulnerable, exposed as he paused to take in the sight of her. His gaze, dark, dangerous, locked with hers. She ached for him. Needed him. She raised her hips to him. Slowly—painfully slowly—he raked his gaze down the length of her body. He swallowed, his grey eyes turning black with lust.

  Heat pooled molten between her thighs. She wanted him. All of him. Inside. Deep and fast and hard and rough. Out here. One this floor. Right now.

  The question danced in his eyes. They shouldn’t be doing this. They couldn’t do this, could they?

  All reason spiraled into a vortex of oblivion.

  “Yes,” Nina whispered. “Yes.”

  Beck lowered his mouth to her breast, teasing her nipple eagerly. She felt his arousal hard and pulsing against her hip. Her body opened for him—ready, desperate, needing all of him.

  He fisted her hair, tilting her head farther back, as his other hand slid down her spine. He cupped her ass and yanked her hard against him.

  Their bodies pressed into each other, molten heat fusing their skin together.

  She couldn’t focus, couldn’t think. A flurry of desire consumed her. Coarse stubble against her neck, her breasts. Needing hands traversing her body, exploring inside her. The smell of sweat and latex and musk.

  Nina cried out and he echoed with a low grumble of desire. He pressed his chest against her and captured her mouth, keeping his lips locked on hers and he thrust into her.

  It burned. It hurt. It was all she wanted.

  Chapter 20

  Beck awoke the next morning to the sound of chirping birds and the fresh scent of a dewy mountain morning. He felt heat radiating next to him and a gentle cadence of breath. He almost didn't want to roll over, didn't want to see. He knew he'd made a mistake, but he wasn't ready to admit it. He wasn't ready to face it or own up to it or admit that he had to walk away, recuse himself from this entire thing.

  In one stupid moment, he’d likely ruined everything he'd worked up toward. Getting himself out of the shit-storm of LA undercover had taken blood and tears. He might find his ass right back there the moment Martinez got wind of this.

  But still, he wasn't sure that he regretted it. He closed his eyes and relived the blur of memories from the previous night. The feel of her lithe body under his, the heat of her touch, the smell of desire on her skin. His arousal stirred just thinking about it.

  Slowly and quietly, he pulled himself from the bed and fished around the floor for his clothes. He slipped on his jeans and T-shirt and tiptoed quietly into the bathroom. There was something very intrusive about being in a women's bathroom. All the potions and jars of God-knows-what that worked their magic. The proof of hundreds of years of witchcraft in those tiny glass jars, he thought with mirth. Everything the women did was a mystical mystery.

  He gingerly opened the medicine cabinet, looking for mouthwash. He squinted his eyes and tried not to focus on any one thing that was in the cabinet, not wanting to violate any sense of privacy. He swished around the Tom's All-Natural, then quietly rinsed his face with cold water. He peeked out. Nina was still sound asleep. The sun was just starting to yawn across the morning sky and he imagined that someone running a restaurant was running on a severe sleep deficit. He tiptoed out of the room and out of the house and called an Uber from outside.

  He had no idea what he was gonna tell Martinez.

  

  Nina waited until she was certain Beck had left the house before stirring. The last thing she wanted was an awkward conversation. She had never been very good at morning-after small talk. So, what’s your day look like? Supposed to be quite sunny today! Hey, by the way, you don’t have any communicable diseases, do you?

  However, she couldn't help feeling just a bit slighted that he’d slipped out like a cheap one-night stand in a college dorm room. But was it really anything more? She wanted to believe that there was. There was so much at risk here, would they both throw it away for something as frivolous as sex?

  People have done far worse for worse sex, she thought. And last night had been explosive sex.

  Her body burned with the memory of it. Her insides were raw, her lips chapped. Her sides were bruised where his fingers had dug desperately into her, as though to hold on for life.

  The cryptic threats from the last few days echoed in her mind, but intertwined with Beck’s warm body, they were only a faint echo somewhere in the recesses. She didn’t want to hear them. She had pushed them as far down into distant memory as they would go. All that mattered was that moment, the crackling energy between them. She could breathe it in, live off it. It would sustain her. She no longer needed food or drink or air. She needed nothing but their bodies entwined in darkness.

  But that was all a facade. A glass slipper that would soon shatter when the weight of reality crushed it.

  Nina pulled herself together and made some coffee. She was due back at the restaurant shortly to open it up for the breakfast crowd. She groaned. She really needed to get a general manager one of these days. Business was up enough that she thought she could swing it, at least during the busy months. That was a nice thing about Tahoe, it attracted both the summer crowd and a winter crowd. The off-season was really only the few straggly months from when the snow melted until the weather got hot enough to attract people to the water.

  She finished her coffee, fixed herself a protein shake and headed off toward the restaurant. Not before sliding her .38 into her purse.

  

  Beck’s head was throbbing as he sat down at his desk and tried to focus. He needed to sort out his mind, figure out how he was going to deal with this shit storm he’d kicked up. He touched his hand to the back of his head, feeling the pulsing lump. Maybe he did need to go to the doctor.

  “You look like shit.”

  Beck looked up and saw Martinez standing there, a smug look on his face.

  “Long night,” Beck said.

  “I won’t ask. How’s the progress with Sullivan?”

  “Coming along.”

  “Graham…”

  “Just, give it a rest for a second, can you? I have a splitting headache.”

  Martinez narrowed his dark eyes at Beck. “What’s going on with you? You losing your shit?”

  Beck breathed in and out slowly, trying not to lose his shit.

  “Nina is turning out to be a hard asset to handle,” Beck said.

  “I think the problem is you’re letting her handle you,” Martinez said.

  Beck glared.

  “Have you found out what else she knows? Who broke into the restaurant? Luther’s guys?” Martinez said.

  Beck chewed his lip, thinking about the previous night. It all felt like a dream now, blurred images against the canvas of a drunken mind.

  “She says she doesn’t know who it was.”

  Martinez snorted. “And you believe her?”

  Beck shrugged. “She seemed convincing.”

  “Just put more pressure on her,” Martinez said.

  “If we push too hard, she’ll break. Then where will we be?”

  “You still think she’s some delicate flower, don’t you? That girl is calculating. And she’ll calculate the best move for her survival, even if that means taking
down those around her. Wake up, Graham. What’s with your savior complex anyway?”

  Beck ground his teeth together. “I just need a little more time.”

  Martinez tapped his wristwatch dramatically. “Tick, tick. Once they drop this next shipment they might disappear, and the pipeline is blown. We need to know how they bring it up..”

  Beck said nothing his head was swimming. He could barely meet Martinez’s dark eyes. Had last night been a play on Nina’s part? Was she calculating her every move?

  She plays with her food.

  This likely wasn’t the first time she’d slept her way out of a problem. And for no good reason, the idea tore his insides to shreds.

  Beck could see the vein in Martinez's forehead pulsing; the vein that popped out whenever he was about to lose his temper.

  “Alright,” Beck said.

  “Graham, I need you to tell me the honest to God truth,” Martinez said.

  Honest to God. Did Beck believe in God anymore?

  “Is she getting under your skin?” Martinez said.

  “She’s difficult.”

  “You know that’s not what I mean. Don’t play the coy rookie with me.”

  “I’ve got it under control,” Beck said.

  “There's not something more going on here, is there?” Martinez said.

  Beck felt his heart race. He wiped sweaty palms on his slacks.

  “Something more?” He couldn't tell if his voice sounded an octave higher to Martinez's ears as well.

  Martinez narrowed his dark eyes. “Yeah. Something more. Are things getting personal? Because if they are, you better fucking tell me right now.”

  Beck shook his head over dramatically. “Of course not. Shit, give me a little credit.”

  Martinez stared him down until Beck wanted to squirm. But he held fast. If what happened last night got out, Beck was toast. His entire career would be over.

  Martinez’s mouth twitched underneath his mustache. “Beck, you got a lot of promise. But you wouldn't be the first, and sure as shit won't be the last, to think with your dick at a time like this. I warned you about that girl. She's trouble. It's all she knows how to do. If you let her get to you, if you let her dig her nails into you, she’ll drag you down with her.”