The Redemption Lie

by Amanda J. Clay

  “Just me being an idiot. Again. Nothing surprising.”

  Brooklyn laughed this time. “Since when are you ever an idiot? You’re the smartest woman I know.”

  “You’re only saying that because all the women you know are drug addicted high school dropouts.”

  “Well you’re at least smarter than 80 percent of them.” Brooklyn grinned. She pulled the wine toward her and took a swig.

  “They make glasses, you know,” Nina said.

  Brooklyn wiped a red droplet from her chin and looked at Nina in earnest. “Ok, so spill. Is this about the case?”

  Nina felt annoying tears at the back of her eyes. She laughed. The case. If only it were just the case, then maybe she wouldn’t be such a mess right now. She shrugged. “I don’t know. Kind of.”

  “It’s about the guy isn’t it? The DEA agent?”

  “Yeah.” Nina took back the wine and refilled her tumbler. “I just…I let myself think we had something. And I never do that, you know? I never ever feel anything toward anyone.”

  “That’s usually how it happens. It comes right out of nowhere and kicks you in the crotch.”

  Nina snorted a laugh. “About what it feels like.”

  “So what happened between you?”

  “It’s so stupid. Katie mentioned she ran into him last night at Lucky’s. That he was out with some young blonde girl.”

  “Ahh. And you guys are supposed to be…I don’t know, exclusive?”

  Nina burst into laughter. “Not at all. In fact, I basically told him to go fuck off. So he did. Literally I guess. What the hell did I think was going to happen?”

  Brooklyn lowered her eyes in understanding. “Don’t you hate it when a man actually listens?”

  “I was stupid to think it was anything special,” Nina said.

  “If we don’t think we’re something special, then what’s the point of trying at all?” Brooklyn said.

  “You are an unwavering rod of positivity, my dear,” Nina said.

  “I’m sorry, it’s shitty. I guess…well maybe whatever it was between you was more about this case you’ve got going on. Or maybe,” Brooklyn twisted up her face. “Some people will kick the hell out of your heart just for fun. You know? Some people are just assholes.”

  Nina had an undeniable magnetic pull to men like this—the ones that love your presence when it suits. Needing that comfort but unable to handle emotional equality. Incapable of reciprocating. Take, take. They make you pay for a sin that isn’t yours. Who created these monsters and why was she so hell-bent on seeking them out?

  Men like Luther were never love. They were nicotine.

  Was Beck the same? Why was she even considering it? He’d gotten under her skin, rooted around and settled in.

  Nina stood. “Sorry, this is stupid. I’m being stupid. I have things to do. But thanks for listening.”

  Brooklyn smiled sweetly, her expression pure understanding.

  Nina breathed deeply. She wasn’t going to think about Beck or the case or whatever half-ass idiotic thing they were trying to make her do. She hadn’t survived hell just to book another one-way ticket. She had a dinner rush to prepare for.

  

  “Did you read? They busted up a Casino chain in B.C. Arrested all the major players,” Badger said.

  Luther didn’t look up from his Wall Street Journal. “What does that have to do with us?”

  “They have a taste for blood.”

  “What Chinese gangsters do in Canada is hardly my concern. Perhaps you should leave the reading to the educated, Badger.”

  Badger looked as though he was going to retort but held his tongue. Someone knocked on the office door and Badger rushed to open it.

  Luther glanced up to see Katja standing in the doorway like a bitch with her tail between her legs. Luther rolled his eyes, knowing that whatever she was about to say was not going to be what he wanted to hear. He never thought she was right for this—too hot-headed, too full of herself. But the orders had come from a level above him. While Luther took direction from very few, when Leksik Vahtra set down a direction, no one argued.

  “Badger, please shut the door,” Luther said. He waved Katja in. “Katja, cousin. Thank you for coming in. Or should I call you Katie?” He smiled but she didn’t seem amused.

  “Luther,” she said.

  “Well, come in closer,” Luther said.

  Katja looked about nervously, mildly defeated. It was nice to see her brought down a notch. Not so self-righteous now.

  “Luther,” Katja said. “I—” she started but let her words trail off. She was nervous. Interesting, Luther thought. A woman whittled to a sharp edge by the hard Eastern bloc, he didn’t often see her like this.

  “So what do you know? I have a busy day. Spit it out,” Luther said.

  Katja bit her bottom lip, an annoying girlish habit.

  “Come on out with it!” Luther said, his patience rapidly waning.

  “I have some information you're probably not going to like.”

  “Go on.”

  “There is… there is another man,” Katja let the words out in a quick lash, her accent coming back in her nervous state.

  Luther arched an eyebrow. “Another man? Can you be more specific? What, she’s fucking a townie? Has a boyfriend?”

  Katja nodded slightly. “I'm not sure how serious it is, but he's been hanging around. And from what I can tell there are some feelings there.”

  Feelings. Wasted sentiments in Luther’s opinion.

  Luther shrugged and waved a hand. “No matter to me. Boyfriends can be eliminated easily. Nina is a beautiful woman. She’s bound to have puppies following her around.”

  Something flashed in Katja’s eyes at the compliment. Luther wanted to laugh. The jealousy of women—a force not to be underestimated.

  “There’s something else on your mind. What is it?” Luther said.

  Katja’s brow furrowed, her lips turned down.

  “The guy. He’s…he’s with the DEA.”

  Luther felt his expression go cold. He tried not to react.

  A burning sensation came over him. Was it jealousy? It was something feral, basal, territorial.

  A boyfriend in the DEA—what the hell was Nina getting at? What was she thinking? What was this pussy whipped agent thinking?

  There was no way some uptight federal agent was going to shack up with an ex-con and be on the up-and-up. Luther was rotten enough at his own core to smell the putrid scent of moral decay in others.

  But he would not let on to Katja. He wasn’t going to give her any ammunition to use against Nina, to convince Leksik to de done with her. Nina was his to deal with, in whatever way he saw fit.

  “Alright. Thank you for the report,” Luther said.

  Katja looked at him expectantly. Was she expecting a bigger reaction? He wasn't going to give anyone that satisfaction.

  “Don't look at me like that. This doesn't change anything. So we'll just have to be slightly more careful when eliminating the threat. And besides, there is no chance Nina isn’t playing at something bigger here. This is a calculated move for her, that is all. Just keep your eyes open at that restaurant. Shadow her. You may go.”

  Katja didn't move.

  Luther stared at her hard. “What? Something to add?”

  Katja lifted her chin. “Yes. She caught me sneaking around. Nina.”

  “Sneaking around? What does this mean?”

  “I was looking for information in her office. I got there before she was supposed to arrive. But she caught me going through her desk. And I think she might fire me.”

  Luther leaned back in his chair and rubbed his jaw.

  “That was pretty stupid of you wasn't it?” he said.

  Katja nodded and lowered her eyes. “Yes. I should've been more careful.”

  “It seems to me Leksik’s faith in you is misplaced.”

  Katja looked up and shook her head. “No, it was just a mistake. A careless error t
hat won't happen again.”

  “Obviously not if she fires you,” Luther said.

  He saw the fear flicker in her eyes. Always so calm and collected, this one, putting on a face of icy majesty. In a way, Luther admired her darkness, the blatant ruthlessness.

  But her stupidity wouldn't stand. There was no room in this world for careless mistakes, no matter how innocent the intentions.

  He glanced to Badger and gave him a slight nod.

  Badger took a step toward Katja. In a swift movement, he grabbed her shoulder and slugged her in the stomach.

  Katja shrieked and keeled over, coughing and gasping for breath. Badger looked up and Luther nodded again.

  Badger buried his fist into Katja trim stomach once more. This time, she collapsed to the ground.

  Luther stood and straightened his tie.

  “I trust you will not be so careless again.”

  Katja breathed through it and forced a nod.

  “Good. Badger, please escort her out. I will simply have to deal with this myself.”

  Chapter 27

  Nina checked the schedule. No Melanie, yet again. That was that, she was going to have to let her go. If she didn't put down hard and fast rules, set strict boundaries, these women will walk all over you. Even the sweet ones like Melanie could be master manipulators.

  “I can fill in,” Brooklyn said.

  “Seriously? That would be great,” Nina said.

  “Sure thing. I could use the shift. I don’t have my uniform though.”

  Nina eyed her shorts and tank.

  “There are extra shirts in the back. Just keep your shorts on. You’re a life saver, honey.”

  Before Nina went back into the kitchen she swung by the bar. It was already filling up with tourists languidly slipping away at the Black Cat’s signature 32-ounce beers.

  “Everything okay in here?” Nina said.

  Reina saluted her. “Aye, Aye Capt.”

  Nina kept herself busy expediting the food line, focusing on perfectly plated burgers and not Beck Graham or Luther or her imminent demise.

  “Hey Nina,” Brooklyn said. Nina looked up from the food line. “Hey there are some rough looking dudes at Table One. They’re asking for you.”

  “Tell them I’m busy. Or have Reina deal with it if they need a manager.”

  Brooklyn shifted. “They’re asking for you personally. By name. They seem…I don’t know. Just rough. Actually terrifying. Inhuman.”

  Brooklyn shuddered.

  Nina froze in place, one hand clutching a sprig of kale, the other braced against the counter. She forced herself to swallow.

  “Ok,” she said calmly. “I’ll be out in a second.” She gave herself ten deep inhales before erecting her spine straight and finding her courage.

  She could handle this. She wasn’t afraid. They could intimidate her all they wanted, but she would not give in. She walked calmly out to the front of the restaurant, spotting the four men at table one.

  “I’m surprised to see you in here. Pretty bold,” Nina said as she approached, not fully taking in their likeness.

  “I suppose I could say the same for you, kitty cat.”

  Nina sucked in a breath at the voice. The voice that would haunt her dreams forever.

  Luther turned around and met her gaze, pale blue eyes like topaz.

  Chapter 28

  Nina stumbled back as the apparition flashed before her. She blinked. An illusion. People did not rise from the dead.

  Luther smiled, an intimate little smile with a dare lurking at the corners. A smile that held secrets and memories and desires.

  “Hello, miláček. Look at you,” Luther said.

  She blinked. She was imaging things. She closed her eyes. Luther was dead. Killed in a police shootout while she cowered in the waiting room.

  She opened them to see Luther’s devilish grin staring back at her.

  Nina could barely look at him. If she did, she might succumb. Like a drug you’ve been denied so long, one you thought you’d beaten and kicked into submission, it still beckons the deepest, darkest parts of you. Like when it left you, it rooted a small beacon in your soul so that it would always answer its call, like Sauron’s rings.

  She looked at the floor, at the wall, at her hands. Anywhere so as not to meet his gaze. But her defenses broke down quickly. Steely eyes like hooks right to the center of her. Pools she could fall into and lose herself forever. She almost did once, and she would never do it again. Men like Luther were quicksand. She shook it off, feeling his hold shake free.

  Luther smiled, calculating, magnanimous, omnipotent divinity in the flesh. Her knees threatened to buckle, her head wanted to fall to the ground in supplication.

  “You’re alive,” she barely breathed.

  Luther shrugged. “It would appear.”

  “But…but how? You died in the shootout. I saw.” Her voice felt meek, stuck in her throat.

  “I think the words you're looking for my sweet, are it's so nice to see you alive.”

  Nina forced her spine back together and stood straight.

  “How did you…” Nina shook her head. She held up her hand. “No, I don't want to know. I don't want anything to do with this. Why are you here?”

  “I'm here to see you of course, kitty cat.” Luther said smiling. “And I hear the cherry pie is to die for.” Luther looked around the restaurant satisfactorily and approvingly. “You've really done something with yourself. This place is pretty swank.” He looked back to her and met her eyes. “I can't imagine how you ever afforded to do this after getting out of prison.”

  “You need to go,” Nina said with as much assertion as she could muster. Her heart was racing so fast, pounding against her chest cavity. Surely everyone in the restaurant could hear it.

  “Nina, that’s not very good customer service. Didn’t I teach you anything? The customer is always right.”

  “Until you put a bullet in their head,” Nina said through gritted teeth.

  Luther shrugged. “Tough business.”

  “What do you want?” Nina said, seething.

  “It’s time for you to come home,” Luther said.

  Home. The word struck a chord deep within her. Had it ever been home? Luther had made her feel like she’d finally belonged, finally mattered. But at what price? At what cost to her eternal soul?

  Nina laughed. “You must be delusional, Luther.”

  “Why try to fight it? You know it’s where you belong. I’m back and we have so much life yet to live.”

  Luther’s hand reached out and found hers. She quickly ripped it away.

  “I would sooner slit my own wrists than go back there. I’m done with that life. I’m done with you. Stay away from me.”

  Luther smiled placidly. “So you say.”

  Nina’s stomach churned, threatening to be sick. She straightened her spine, tightened her abs and forced a smile. “Forgive me, my manners. I'm a little tired. How about a round of cherry pie on the house? The rumors are true, it is remarkable.”

  Luther chuckled, the sound infectious.

  “I nearly forgot what a good sense of humor you have, my love. Pie sounds divine. How about a finger of vodka to go around as well?”

  “Of course. I'll let your server know. It was so good to see you, Luther. Gentlemen.” She nodded slightly and turned on her heel.

  She forced herself to walk slowly and calmly to the back of the restaurant. Then she ducked into her office and burst into tears.

  Luther still had power over her. The pneumatic eyes, the captivating smile. It was enough to bring her right to her knees, despite her common sense. She didn't want to feel those things toward Luther, but he had a way of bringing back memories, of making you forget all the bad things he'd ever done to you, only reveling and basking in the warm rays of the good times.

  It was a special trick, having that kind of power over people. It was a trick she herself had mastered in many ways, but she was nowhere near as captivating
as Luther. People don't always remember what you say, but they always remember the way make them feel.

  She needed to pull it together.

  She hid in the back for as long as she could but finally she forced herself to go back out there, forced herself to face the nightmare she had believed was only in her dreams. But hers was here. He was alive. And he had found her.

  Brooklyn was nervously clearing dishes from the now vacant table one when Nina surfaced.

  “Are you ok?” Nina asked.

  Brooklyn was pale, milky white, like those who have seen the foreshadow of their own demise.

  “I don’t know. There’s just something about him. Something so…cold. Soul-sucking.”

  When one thought of a drug traffickers and mobsters, they pictured TV sleazy, greasy hair and uneducated. Someone overtly dangerous. People didn't picture men like Luther; educated, cultured, polished, seductive. Men like Luther were the deadliest kind of criminal—they made you question your own morality. They made you question your own humanity. They talked you into doing things you would've thought horrific only moments before, but that now seem like the most natural course of action in the world.

  Nina would have laughed if Brooklyn’s words weren’t on point.

  “You’re not far off. Guard your soul tightly around that one.”

  “Who was that man?” Brooklyn said.

  Nina sighed deeply, all her energy slipping away. She was deflated, defeated.

  “Luther Kavka. My ex-boyfriend.”

  Brooklyn’s blue eyes flared wide. “The one…?”

  “The one.”

  “I thought he was dead.”Nina rubbed her throbbing temple. “So did I. So did everyone. But he’s back.”

  And he wants you back.

  Chapter 29

  After the rest of the staff had left, Nina closed early and paced the empty restaurant. Scenarios bounced through her rattled brain—she could run, she could fake her own death, she could call the police. But she was fooling herself to think any one of those options would keep her safe. Luther would track her to the ends of the Earth, just because he could. When Luther wanted something, he got it.

  She did the one thing she could think of that might stand a chance of helping her through this. She texted Beck.